Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

I'll kick her ass, Nicole.

Thanks Luna, I'll keep that in mind...

If I was a postal worker I would be going postal just about now.

what do you do¿

He is a postal PLAYA.

Try my hardest to keep my job. While, yeah, posting on ILX more than the average person should.

xpost

I met an ILXer the other day who said to me "surely you can't have a job?". but yes! I do!

ISN'T IT CRAZY?

I'm tired of bitching, I just want everyone to go to hell.

The folks at my work used to ask around the office when they were ordering out to have food delivered here. Then the VP scolded them for disrupting work. HA HA! So now, people just keep feeling left out when others order food without them.

Apparently working hard at my office requires shouting, "I'm drownding over here!" every 5 minutes and running around the office like a chicken with its head cut off, but not actually doing any work.

I missed this earlier -- personally I think Nicole is right to feel aggreived, while at this point I'm considering building a nuke for Elvis T to use. The least I could do.

I can't help but feel that I'm becoming the target of the co-worker hate due to the fact I've done very little work coz I'm ADDICTED TO THIS THREAD DAMMIT

Oh, I'd forgotten this one.

Our boss actually said at the end of a staff meeting that "If you're checking your personal web mail, or reading forums, or webchatting while you're here... then you're stealing from me."

We all had a good laugh after he left, and "stealing from (boss's name goes here)" has became a code phrase for "illicit" web activity.

I got up to get some papers off the printer. I stopped dead in my tracks because I saw a resume on there. The last name was the same as one of my coworkers, but the first wasn't and it had a junior afterwards and this is a female coworker. Also, she has a very common last name. So I think maybe my company is hiring out a position without telling us, which they've done several times before.

So then I pick it up to look at the cover sheet to see if it says what the position is.

So then the coworker comes over (it was hers after all) grabs it up and says, "Don't look at anything that doesn't have anything to do with you!" I go over to her desk and say, "I'm sorry. I thought maybe they were going to hire someone else without letting us know."

Then next time I go to get something off the printer, she's standing there. She flips through and takes her things out. Then she gets to an order I printed out and drops it immediately back down on the printer saying, "I don't read things that don't concern me!" I thought she might be joking, so I started to laugh, but then she huffed and stormed back to her desk.

nuts

Hmmm.

There's this guy at work that I've stopped talking to, at least to the extent that I can and still get work done. He was just being too suggestive and touching me as much as possible (ie: sneaking up and putting his hand on the small of my back - ick!), and it creeped me out. Might I mention he has three daughters, all older than I am.

Anyway, I was just alone in the kitchen eating my lunch and reading. He came in and was quiet for like a minute. Then he interrupted me and was like, "Sarah, we haven't been having our talks any more." Whatever that means.

He got around to talking about my band. He asked something to the effect of, "Are you trying to make it big?" Before I could say anything in response, he shook his head and say, "Oh, no, I guess not, much too late for that. Now you have to get married and start having kids. Plus, you have this job now."

SARAH YOU NEED A NEW JOB SHOCKA!!!

YOU NEED TO MAKE IT BIG - STAT!

why does every office have the innappropiate touchy-feely person? i know some people like casual physical contact, but keey-rist can it go overboard.

I feel I've moved up in the world because my manager at my first job slapped my ass all the time, whistled, and called everyone baby. That's food service for you though.

(long rant)

One of our offices is having Printer Problems. One of their printers died yesterday, and we've been trying to decide what to buy them to replacement. Anyway, this morning me and another IT staffer are in their office, and the office supervisor says:

"If you don't get that printer fixed by tomorrow, you've got a big problem. We've got to print our weekly reports tomorrow, and that's the only printer where we can get it to line up with the form on the paper."

We explain that, as we're going to have to buy her a new printer - which we told her yesterday, there's no way it will be replaced by the morning.

"Well, it's your problem. You're welcome to try lining up the paper on the other printer, but I don't think you'll be able to."

So, we retire to the IT office. "Total bullshit" says our manager. The co-worker offers to donate his printer to the cause of inter-office harmony, and I swap them over. I go to her and ask what one of these reports looks like, exactly, and which computer they want to print it from. I do a test run; it lines up exactly, first time; so I explain that the printer that's now sitting on the desk across the room is a different one (she hadn't noticed me lugging the old one out and this one in) and that it will therefore have a different name on-screen. And then, I go around the office setting everyone's computers up to use the new printer.

Ten minutes later, I'm printing a test page from one of the other computers, and she gets up to go over and see what it is.

"Are you trying to print something?"

"Yes, but it doesn't seem to be working."

"Which printer are you trying to print to"

"Oh, I don't know," she says, getting a bit louder. "Printer X, Printer Y, you've moved them all around, you keep saying that what we've been calling Printer X for years we should actually be calling something else! It won't print! Look, I'm trying to print an email and it takes THIRTY SECONDS to send it to the printer! This is a busy office! I don't have time to wait that long each time I have to print an email"

"Um, couldn't you do something else whilst you're waiting for it to print"

"Like what, exactly?"

"Well, I don't know - I don't know what work you have to do whenever"

"Can't you just fix it? Why can't you get it to print straight away"

"Um ... well, I could try altering one of the settings. I can't promise to make it faster, though."

"Look, I've had it up to here with your ARROGANCE. It's A FUCKING PRINTER, NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. YOU'RE IN I.T., YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET IT WORKING. You're just TOO ARROGANT ALL THE TIME." And she picked up her packet of fags and stormed off to the smoking room. Her staff - there are normally four or five other people in the same office - sat in deathly silence.

Our manager had, I knew, already complained to hers about her telling us that we "had a big problem" earlier. The next time I popped into his office, coincidentally, both of them were having a chat; so I casually mentioned that she'd "got a bit shouty" with me, and told them what she said. Mwahahaha.

(this office supervisor often phones me up complaning that the fax server isn't working because a fax she sent ten minutes ago hasn't been sent yet. The answer is almost always "the other end isn't answering the phone", which isn't exactly something I can help with - although she does often say "isn't there anything you can do about it?")

I currently work in a small windowless office answering phones next to a large flatulent women who never stops eating. It's not even 8am yet and she's already gone through the first of her two sleeves of saltines, which will undoubtedly be followed by one or two bags of mini cookies (who knew how gassy those things could be?). And then she'll go to lunch. This wouldn't be so terrible if our job wasn't talking on the phone which is difficult to do with a mouth full of tiny delicious cookies.

During those rare moments when she's not eating, she's barely intelligible and mumbling on and on, never really finishing a sentence.

Oh, and today she's wearing her stinky pants.

I've just been given a formal apology! Woohoo!

You know what? I don't give a shit about Scott Peterson.

I was just informed of the verdict by someone who sounded like he was delivering me news of the Hindenberg crashing. Puh-lease.

But then again, at least I don't have to deal with Mimi Smartypants' co-workers:

Yesterday I was peeing in the office bathroom when someone else came in, went into a stall, and started doing her thing. I finished and was washing my hands when A Rude Noise erupted from the mystery person's stall. Immediately, the mystery person said, "Excuse me." I have several issues with this.

(a) If you can't make rude noises in the bathroom without making the customary verbal excuses, where can you make them?
(b) To be honest, I am not sure I ever want to hear "excuse me" or a sheepish ownership claim from makers of rude noises, even when we are face-to-face, even when it is obvious what has happened. Rude noises are embarrassing enough---must we dwell on the topic?
(c) Most horrifying of all: when the rude noise occurred, I had no idea who was in the stall, since I had not seen her come in. But when she said, "Excuse me?" I KNEW. AND I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW.

Ewww.

Dear T1m, thanks for your moody demeanour, your talking down to me, your general lack of social graces, but most of all your way of delivering apparently noteworthy information to me regarding our working relationship a week after the fact like I should already know, ignoring facts YOU should know about my role (specifically, it's very short tenure) and for being a sad, sad imitation of Gareth Keenan in Keith's body (and mind).

my co-worker always tells me how he is 'right with the lord'. ugh.

I'm going to punch that guy if he calls me "Big Daddy" or "Catfish" one more time.

Astonishingly, I am not finding any of my coworkers either stupid or annoying at the moment. Wuv!

Ha ha ha! All afternoon my coworkers have been abusing the office mailing list to send smutty jokes about our cut off watermain jokes, grrrrrrrr... however, all this has been forgiven now that the Head Honcho has decided to quench our parched throats by OPENING THE OFFICE BAR!!!

Woo-hoo! Free booze for all! Do they really think we'll gte any work done now? My data analysis is getting abit shoddy after too much red wine. I've decided to name my querystring MONEY so I can be happy when my database is on it. Heh.

Your new job sounds kind of great, Kate :)

My new job is actually great. I mean, we have an Office Bar!!!

I heart ad agencies!

OK, I have to work like a bloody dog, and I'm probably going to be here until at least 6, but, hey... FREE BOOZE!

I want to work where Kate works. Booze at work? FREE booze at work? That would make my work a whole lot more bearable.

(xpost)

I get free booze at work sometimes, I mean we have to have an excuse but it can be pretty thin... we have a fridge full of wine and nibbles just in case.

We used to get the odd bottle of wine on a Friday, but the last time we had an excuse to do this, my colleague just got to go to the pub on company expenses instead whilst I stayed in DOING HIS JOB THAT HE WASN'T DOING BECAUSE HE WAS IN THE PUB. Grrrr.

At the last Ad Agency where I worked, the first day, the company's owner took out me and the former Sys Admin and we drank two bottles of wine between the three of us. There was office drinks all the time, not counting FAPs and Leaving Doos.

The first day here, they gave me a spreadsheet with 270 photos of rubbish bands on it and said that it was the office challenge to see how many I could name. I got 190, which was the second hightest in the office (after the boss of course).

I had *forgotten* all the good things about working in Advertising.

Show me the money booze!

Man. What I'd give to work at a real agency again.

One of mine was talking about her clowning group going to a prison during lunch today, and then switched to clown "strip-tease." I just kept thinking "eyes down, read the paper, eyes down."

Clowning group?

Phone guy has apparently decided that the problem was him being on his CELL phone - now he's on the work line instead. Genius!

Asshole.

Fuckface

Last week, someone decided to collect all the Vietnamese names from the company directory (we're a huge company, 7000 in Montreal alone) and send an email urging us to vote for him in the Asian Idol contest. I really don't have a problem with that: click and delete. What I *do* have a problem with is when all these people decide to click "Reply All" and tell Asian Idol Guy that they do not wish to receive any more of his mail. THEN, more idiots click "Reply All" to tell us to use "Reply" instead. This went on for two days straight.

>FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU MORANS!!
>>If you don't like it, just hit the DELETE BUTTON.
>>>Don't look at me. I didn't write any of this.
>>>>I wanted to TELL ALL OF YOU TO STOP. THAT'S WHY.
>>>>>Oh, but you can?
>>>>>>Please stop doing this. ALl of you.
>>>>>>>You replied all to us all again to say that you're a hypocrite?
>>>>>>>>I mean, shit. Sorry. Call me a hypocrite!
>>>>>>>>And just by writing that, you've rplied to us all again.
>>>>>>>>>I know that. I was trying to tell this guy to not e-mail me this.
>>>>>>>>>>YOu don't have to hit reply-all to unsubscribe

Haha yeah I've seen exchanges like that at my last job before.

What I never got too, is in Outlook, hitting reply is easier than reply-all, IIRC. I couldn't understand why someone would mess it up.

It was especially excruciating when the orig callout was from a teamleader asking for some kind of personal feed back from each of us and some dork would reply-all with some whine we weren't meant to see... haaha, sucker.

God reading all this, I seriously dont want any kind of 9 to 5 job again. I want to work from home or something. If only.

C/D: The co-worker who announces "I have to go to the bathroom SO bad" whenever they have to relieve themselves

I work with this woman. She is in her, I would say, mid-50's. She's pretty annoying. She sits at her desk and talks to herself, screeches things for no reason and then laughs like she made a joke, makes desperate chit-chat, basically just tries incredibly hard and desperately to ingratiate herself but apparently is half insane so it doesn't work. Until last week I basically just thought of her as being irritating but maybe someone who was just lacking some social skills. But last week the office manager came to me to say that our boss had complained about me playing on the internet at work, and about me reading the paper at my desk. Now I'm not an idiot. Of course I don't do EITHER of those things when my boss is around. Which means someone else went to the boss and said I was doing those things. And because the crazy woman is the only one who ever comes into my office in the morning when I'm looking at the paper (which takes like 10 minutes), it means it was her. I hate people who try to act like they're your friends but will bitch you out if it will make them look good.

And I know I'm an ass for reading the paper at my desk, but everyone else spends that time talking about whatever episode of Lost or House or whatever they watched last night.