Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Look busy, the boss is coming."

of course, yes.

this month's cartoon is particularly fruitful

http://contest.newyorker.com/CaptionContest.aspx?tab=vote&affiliate=ny-caption

"I must find the tree that killed my father."

"That one was asking for it."

"I came, I sawed, I conquered."

All those 'finalists' are rub.

'I must find the tree that killed my father' isn't too bad imo, just made worse by context

i really thought my "i told you we'd make better time on the freeway" was the kind of tired shit that they would love for this:
http://contest.newyorker.com/CaptionContest.aspx?tab=vote&affiliate=ny-caption

Yeah, but those three captions are funny, for once.

Voting the cat one.

(still think my "Now, will you listen to me?" was teh graet, above.)

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2011/08/15/p290/110815_contest_p290.jpg

"I need a chef right now."

"Fellas, we need the best batter available."

ah, now that's a potential winner.

OK, I entered!

i feel like that is too funny to win

"Why are you on my bench, you are a chef, get out"

"Go back to France"

submitting this w/a NB, 'also can you print 'asshole' in the caption comp?'

"chefs dont play baseball, guy"

"how about you cook me up a win"

"wow i must be seeing things, a chef in the dugout, crazy"

"i'm sorry, but paul simon is overrated, chef"

or, conversely, "Excuse me, are we in a restaurant?"

"excuse me, are we in a restaurant, or a baseball park, because it sure looks like baseball to me, get out of here chef"

"Christ, what an asshole."

"that uniform does not even meet the minimum regulations in our league!"

"this is baseball, not cooking-ball"

"L-R: Roger Sterling, Jesse Eisenberg, John Travolta, IRL Matt Damon that time he went shopping with the Office guy, a Chef"

"what a load of crepe"

"boss i tried to steal second base but i stole a chef by mistake, here he is, chef leon"

"i bet you're familiar with hot streaks, amirite?"

"what a croque, monsieur."

"i said we need a big HITTER, not a big DINNER!!!"

"if you try to bunt with that pan i will eat your fucking head off"

"Christ, what an asshole."
^
coming here to post that

batter joke was the first thing that came to mind; that feels like a winner.

Though "There's no cooking in baseball" is a close second for the outdated reference/bone dry 'humor' combo

"chef, what a casserole."

change up, bunt cake, slide into hot plate, fry ball - could go for a racist angle with this one to double up, BLT sabermetric

"O.K., we learned a lot this game, including you can't rush a soufflé." Submitted by Jay Solomon, New York, N.Y.

"First base wants to know if you have anything gluten-free." Submitted by Michael Hicks New Orleans, La.

"I trust you know what to do when you get to the plate." Submitted by Phil Rosenthal Chicago, Ill.

THESE ARE ALL RUBBISH!!

"Fellas, we need the best batter available."

― Dark Noises from the Eurozone (Tracer Hand), Monday, 8 August 2011 11:12 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Was better than all those!

did people see the ... hoozit. jason sturm? james sturm? the 'golem's mighty swing' guy ... article on trying to break into new yorker cartooning?

Mark I agree but it's not quite "New Yorker" enough (nor is their third option). It's more like... actual comedy. I'd expect the gluten-free joke to win. As I've said before, the ultimate New Yorker cartoon caption (invented by me) is "I'm tired of not having balsamic vinegar".

The gluten-free option? We shall see in 2 weeks...

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2011/09/12/p465/110912_contest_p465.jpg

"You never see them at all on Dress-Down Friday"

Well, I liked it.

http://i.imgur.com/ajfXV.gif
"I'm tired of not having balsamic vinegar"

too on the nose?

I like your style way more than BEK's.

Before they ever had the caption contest, I came up with a New Yorker cartoon that would show two well-dressed women talking to each other at an art gallery, and one is saying to the other "My masseuse is out of champagne"

I think that could also be the ultimate caption contest caption

btw the italics are an essential part of it

the captions are already in italics

how the hell did tracer's not win

http://i.imgur.com/UHOCr.gif