Chicago: Totally hands-free!!!

I went and tried that guitar last night. I decided I didn't like the way it sounded, it was really midrangey, like a duck quack sound.

I get intimidated by the Chicago threads. Even when they're brand new, they're huge.

Y'know, I hate to waste a great word like "douche" on people like Dov Charney and Joe Francis. I prefer to think of them as scumfucks. Or, y'know, Scumfucs, in honor of the purest distillation of that lifestyle. That whole subset of society really, really skeeves me hardcore. I wish we could have them all shipped off to an island somewhere. And then set the island on fire.

I may go to this tonight:

FRI . 9/14/07 ( 9:00pm , $12 buy )
OM
Circle (Finland)
Endless Boogie
Ecstatic Sunshine

at Empty Bottle

Nick, I want you to keep us posted on whether you buy that guitar or not. I think it's a thing of great lovliness.

I slept last night! Yay me!

Great! (And, Nick just SAID he tried it out and it was too midrangey)

I shouldn't have read about Charney and Francis so early in the morning. Yuck. I'm trying to erase them from my mind. Also, I don't feel like talking about chickens any more either.

Brainwashing instructions:
* listen to new Black Lips
* while worshiping this kitten
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/92/218312595_9f2240744a.jpg?v=0

(Sorry for yelling 'said' at you, Kenan)

oh wow. He really did JUST say that, didn't he? :(

I'm learning to read, but English his hard.

LOVE THE NEW BLACK LIPS, YES AGREED

I hate this day. I'm being bullied on email by a group within my company and a group from another company, and my roommate who went to Cairo for a month left a bunch of shit undone at the house (including her underwear on the couch and a sinkful of dishes) and packages she asked me to put in the mail for her. I brought them to work and forgot, cos I didn't have any stamps.

Now one of those unsent packages has incurred a $250 late fee. The girl who goes shopping every weekend and bought an iPod and a new computer on a whim just called me in tears about the extra expense. I could give a shit about her problems, really, but this one is my fault. I hate people. I hate this day. I'm going to move to Australia.

Everybody has terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. Even in Australia.

Sure, maybe it's your fault that she got a late fee, but if there was such a risk she should have AT THE VERY LEAST told you that would be the case (ie: Could you please mail this for me and BY THE WAY it has to be done immediately or else...). OR she could have just done it herself if it was so important. Don't beat yourself up about it. I know it still sucks to be in that situation though. Sorry. :-(

Today will get better! Then it will be all over with!

I'm liking the new Black Lips as well, much better than that live album. I mean, I'm sure the live show was awesome to see... but just doesn't work without the visual aspect.

She SHOULD have done it herself, she spent the 2-3 weeks before she left the country basically shopping and partying, as far as I could tell. She sure as hell didn't lift a hand around the apartment, after *I* got called on the carpet in front of both my roommates a while ago for being the messy one, and emotionally strong-armed -- I cleaned up after her even after she LEFT, because there was a whole shopping bag of her personal possessions strewn around the living room. I resent so many things about this situation.

How does the other roomie feel about her?

He was in Greece for five weeks on his parents' dime while she was cutting lose here in NYC. And when he got back from Greece, he told me to get a move on with the dishes in the sink before he had to get on my case. You know, apply a little elbow grease.

My problem is that I'm trying to be polite and I don't feel like they are. My upbringing was a little inhibited, so I try to solve things as politely as possible, and then I get really, really mad.

I'm trying not to get really angry at both of them, but today is not the day of self-control.

Also the one who went to Greece doesn't appear to have paid the utility bills for about three months, because the cable got turned off while he was away (I paid it), and he had to ask me for the electricity account # to pay THAT bill before disconnection. Each of them were up to hundreds of dollars, that's like three months behind.

ARRRRRRRGLGLHGHGG

Another possible activity for tonight: A sketch comedy show my coworker cowrote is playing at the Second City Skybox.

coworker cowrote

A coworker just lent me the new Kanye album, so I guess I won't not listen to it now.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/pitchfork_gives_music_6_8

good lord, laurel. that sounds like a super shitty situation. i agree with sarah that the late fee package is totally NOT your fault & I really hope you didn't admit fault.
I don't quite know how one would resolve all of these issues, but you are not at fault here!

I didn't offer to pay it but I kind of feel like I should. :(

Nonsense, Laurel! You have been a great roomie to agree to do all that stuff for her.

Time to get new roomies!

The funniest jokes in The Onion are always the one-line headline jokes:

"Djimon Hounsou To Play Every African In The World"

"When Will They Invent a Buffet for the Taller Gentleman?"

"Picture Of iPhone Used As iPhone Wallpaper"

"News Van Driver Sick Of Helping Anchors Move"

"Bluetooth Headset Worn Throughout Date"

"Unconsciousness Faked To Make Anesthesiologist Feel Better"

"Dog In Purse Stares Longingly At Dog In Yard"

etc.

The headlines are really all you need, after that the stories pretty much write themselves.

Although you're not normally superstitious, you will still fear the worst today when a black man crosses your path.

Real Life Log Flume Kills Family

You will have your mind blown this week by nothing more than a shotgun slug traveling at near supersonic speed.

Hahha, I didn't agree to do any of it except mail the packages, the rest she just walked away from. Still, there's a reason I don't volunteer to do favors of that kind for people, I don't even organize my OWN life/bills/taxes.

Greek guy is the reminder that people who don't pay their own bills aren't reliable to cover their end of yours.

I heard some old-time radio drama on the way to work, it was great (http://nocolordrama.blogspot.com/).

Is "douche" mentioned in Superbad or something? It seems to have reemerged as a go-to word in the past month or two.

It has been the go-to word for years.

I think The Daily Show play a part in the revival of "douche" as well. At least, I started to notice a few years ago that they were using it a lot.

I think Nick may be personally responsible for the comeback (for using the word, not being one).

http://a.abcnews.com/images/Technology/rt_frog_mouse_070716_ssh.jpg

Mice are so cute. :)

Who would win in a fight? A mouse riding on a frog or a monkey who is friends with a pigeon?

Man, Ebert gives something like five four-star reviews in today's Sun-Times. I'm seeing the Jodie Foster one later today.

I have a new task on my agenda: hiring a debt-collection agency. Apparently in the past my predecessor was in charge of this unpleasant work, which explains the stack of bills marked "Will not pay--delete."

I don't think after Flightplan I ever, ever want to watch Jodie Foster worry about a child again.

I want to see "Eastern Promises."

Terrence Howard is in both the Jodie Foster Death Wish movie and in the Richard Gere black comedy movie that also looks good.

I don't think there are any kids in the Jodie Foster movie? Her boyfriend, the dude from Lost, gets murdered by hoodlums and she turns into street justice killer lady. It looks ok.

That "In the Valley of Elah" looked ok until I found out it was a Paul Haggis joint, ugh I hate that dude.

Oh my point was that Terrence Howard is in lots of stuff.

wait, though... there's no child worrying in this movie? I could have sworn there was a line in the trailer about "omg my son!" or something. Maybe I'm just so used to hearing he say tht, I hallucinated it.

ooh... and Neil Jordan. Ok, that looks like it might be a solid rental.

Guys, I was recently informed that douche no longer comes in bags, it's bottles, so I now refer to assholes as "douchebottles" and I think you should too.

Ha ha Ebert gave Mr. Woodcock three stars?

There is no kid in the Jodie Foster movie. She is actually pursuing the guy who took her German Shepherd