Manny and the Caveman: Your 2011 Tampa Bay Rays

wow their lineup is kind of amazingly bad!

it's kind of unfathomable really

the dual signings of manny & damon really should've tipped us off

i know this is what i get for not paying attention.

If you were to add Manny's OPs to Damon's it would = .310

OPS mind you.

the team's splits so far this year: .136/.218/.260

their starting line up today has a combined OPS+ of 31

the story: http://boston.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/hey-evan-longoria-stop-sending-me-pictures-of-your-cock-sincerely-jenna/

the photo: http://boston.barstoolsports.com/evan-longoria-texts-jenna-his-cock/

― wavy g. wavegarten (J0rdan S.), Monday, March 28, 2011 5:46 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark

how did i miss this... this was a year ago? that was hilarious. He spotted my facebook account via internet stalking and started talking to me, probably in hopes that when he visited the Cape he would have a girl ready to cram meats with and lick his asshole and shit like that. Well clearly he knows how to get me all hot and bothered because he sent me a picture of his ultra white glow in the dark dick.

GUHHH http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2011/04/manny-ramirez-retires.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=6310125

weed or roids?

how bout a lil bit of both?

RIP

manny is all http://www.gifsoup.com/imager.php?id=975115&t=o

100 game suspension!

[MOD EDIT] and the Caveman

he's like the lj of mlb.

well well

:-(

hey at least they've got like 10 first round picks in the draft this year

sam fuld is killin it

who the frig is this guy?!

should've stopped on first for the cycle with a shit-eating grin imo

what a player

had a soft spot for fuld since he was on the cubs, apparently he's a big stats dork?

also these factoids are interesting/cute:

Fuld, who is Jewish,[9][10] is the son of Kenneth Fuld, the Dean of the College of Liberal Arts and Professor of Psychology at the University of New Hampshire, and Amanda Merrill, a New Hampshire State Senator.[11][12][13][14] He is also a second cousin of former Lehman Brothers CEO Dick Fuld.[15]

Instead of carrying around the typical teddy bear or worn-down baby blanket when he was young, he carried a book of baseball stats (The Complete Baseball Handbook) with him all the time, like a security blanket.[6][16] "He was only 5 or 6 and he was already computing batting averages and ERAs," his father said. "He'd sit in the bathtub, and I'd say 'If a guy goes 17-for-37, what's his batting average?' What struck me is that he'd perform these operations in very creative ways–not just that he got the right answer, but his methodology, adding in a factor and then dividing by 10, etc. I'd watch him and say 'wow,' just like I said 'wow' when he used to hit."[6]

i was hoping he was related to Elmer.

mmmm, is he single?

"Instead of carrying around the typical teddy bear or worn-down baby blanket when he was young, he carried a book of baseball stats (The Complete Baseball Handbook) with him all the time, like a security blanket.[6][16]"

Young Sam Fuld OTM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wsd2FKfziY

"He is also a second cousin of former Lehman Brothers CEO Dick Fuld."

This factoid is not cute however.

lots of people are second cousins of lots of people

Totally! But being related to that scumbag just isn't a cute factoid!

it's a little bit cute

just a tiny little cute little factoid

i would have to say i'm in the "not so cute" camp on this one.

soooooooooo cute. a cute fact!

"Damon hurt while bunting" is a lol headline

10 RBI for Zobrist today.

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/04Tpgkt3qvbOv/439x.jpg

"Human or animal? Not cool, guys."

wtf happened there???!

B.J. Upton Strike (swinging), Strike (foul), Strike (swinging), B Upton struck out swinging

B.J. Upton Ball, Strike (foul), Ball, Ball, Strike (swinging), Strike (looking), B Upton struck out looking

B.J. Upton Strike (foul), Ball, Strike (swinging), Strike (looking), B Upton struck out looking

B.J. Upton Strike (looking), Ball, Strike (looking), Strike (looking), B Upton struck out looking

So. Remember that time the Rays were dead in the water in the AL East?

First place, bitches.

hey who was responsible for that incredible double play the other day? rodriguez and...? i saw it on a tv through a glass darkly and even though im sure they repeated it 1000x i had to stop looking at it

Has this been posted anywhere?

http://offthebench.nbcsports.com/2011/05/16/fake-or-real-evan-longoria-saves-reporter-with-bare-handed-catch-video/

shields pitched a 93 game score today, best in the majors so far this yr

he is very, very good

Could swear Maddon had Miguel IBB'd earlier in the year w/ 1B occupied during the first. Tonight: tie game, sixth inning, go-ahead run on second, no one on first. Hellickson floats first pitch over the outside half of the plate. Miguel takes it to right, which scores the run.

am I the only one who always reads Sam Fuld as Sam Fuiud

hahaha i do too

http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/06/14/ok-justin-ruggiano-was-definitely-out

A+ comment:

None of this would even have been an issue if Ruggiano had played the game the right way and mowed down the catcher who failed to block the plate, totally left him a lane and tried the stupid ‘sweep tag’ play. By not creaming the catcher Ruggiano was rewarded for his wimpy play by being called out. What’s the umpire supposed to do? Use his eyes or something?

hey, 3rd-best record in the league behind guess-who

congratulation, Manuel "Manny" Arístides Ramírez Onelcida

http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Manny+Ramirez+Tampa+Bay+Rays+Photo+Day+iZXVQJ4mEdAl.jpg

he looks high

Dan Johnson just saved the Tampa Bay Rays season. This Dan Johnson.

Before tonight, he had a -7 wRC+. As noted in that leaderboard, the only Major Leaguer with a worse offensive season in at least 90 PA was Roy Halladay,

I showed my class all the Tampa Bay/Boston highlights this morning, trying to create some sense of the timeline (a split-screen would have come in handy). Baseball hardly exists for Canadian kids ever since the Jays stopped winning, but, thanks to my expert narration, they seemed to understand the improbability of all that happened.

sportscenter did a great dual highlight timeline thingy last night

When they turn it into a movie, either De Palma or a resurrected Abel Gance gets the assignment.

I can't even remember for sure which game ended first now, tho I suspect it was Boston's

it was

Price has to be a little rattled from that start/Teix's salami. Hope he can pull it together.

yeah they need him 2 be solid

take cliff lee out of the equation & tb beats tx last yr p handily

i'm sure he'll be fine -- pitchers have bad starts sometimes

I can't even remember for sure which game ended first now, tho I suspect it was Boston's

Yeah, Longoria gave Boston just enough time to walk into the clubhouse and watch their season end

I'll be rooting hard for the Rays for as long as they last. Coming back like they did last night was just tremendous. They caught a break in not having to face Rivera, but it still required some mysterious combination of luck, karma, divine intervention, character (old-fashioned, I know--I have to believe there's some of that in there somewhere), and god only knows what else. It would be so great to see them knock out the Yankees in a divisional final after Girardi's decision not to use Rivera (which I totally understand).

I think the gap between Andino and Longoria was three or four minutes. (I'm not sure, but one may have even been just before midnight and the other just after.)

Verducci has an exact timeline up--not quite right:

12:02: Robert Andino wins the game for Baltimore with a single. The Red Sox, as it turns out, have three minutes to live.

12:05: Longoria hits a home run off Scott Proctor to win the game for Tampa Bay.

From FanGraphs:
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/ALWCracebytime.png

wow

Seriously, there will almost certainly not be anything like this for a long time

Not just the Boston collapse or the insane way yesterday shook out, but even Carl Crawford's tragic involvement in everything is just ridiculous and too weird to believe

did Crawford end the season with an obp over .300?

nein

lolwow

dianagram (NYC): Matt Moore .... best pitching prospect to hit the majors since __________. (Prior? Wood? Verlander? other?)

Jason Parks: Kershaw

http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/large/hash/94/dc/94dcb347e4290011e732ed531a4fb48a.jpg

rewatched the 2011 yankees-rays game 162 yesterday, so satisfying