I just wrote a review and it sucks.

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (35 of them)

erin, I would yank out the review part of your entry and work on polishing it more, expanding on some of the details you touched on. part of it's problem is that it's written as part of your blog in a diary style as opposed to an event in itself being described. I think you have the outline for something in there. You just need to build something up from it. For example, why does punk ska bother you so much? What was the band specifically like without your generalizations? The same goes for the Bubble Boys, too. Was the crowd that bothered you the most or the bands? Moreover, what were Conner like? Why are they so popular? You get the drift. Consider your review just your first draft, as Lord Custos suggested, if you have any desire to work on it anymore. It definitely has potential if you have the effort to spare on it.

― jack cole (jackcole), Friday, 27 September 2002 17:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

...

― a wag (wagwag), Friday, 27 September 2002 17:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

(future music trivia question: what is the connection between Bright Eyes, Tori Amos and Ned Raggett?)

Other then they are all prone to getting sad and weepy on you.

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 27 September 2002 17:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ok, I admit it. I'm a fake character created by Jess.

― jack cole (jackcole), Friday, 27 September 2002 17:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

i'd like to think i could do better!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 27 September 2002 17:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

also, my apologies for posting your blog as a bad blog. Sadly I didn't even remember that. It was petulant, and considering what I said on the CoFlo thread, hypcritical too.

― jack cole (jackcole), Friday, 27 September 2002 18:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 27 September 2002 18:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

it's what those links are for above that a wag posted -- when I posted your blog and erin's blogs as bad blogs.

― jack cole (jackcole), Friday, 27 September 2002 18:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

i think it's fine as it is, erin: it has a really good flow, which polishing might easily spoil (haha says the guy who takes 18 months to write 500 words), and the diary-ness of it actually keeps the sense of music in people's life, esp. YOUR life

the problem with most reviews is that the writer is thinking "oh no!1 i'm writing a review!! OH NO!!", and uses that as an excuse to cut the life out and leave the would-be History of Important Opinions in, which the turns out to be cuttings of other people's lame generalisations

your generalisations are fun, and funny

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 27 September 2002 18:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

Thanks for all the suggestions! It's good to actually get some constructive criticisms instead of just criticism for once. I can't respond to every single thing, but I'm paying attention, really! Anyway...

Sean, I thought I was always taught in English class varying sentence length was 'correct'? Knowing me I misremember and it's supposed to be the other way around. ;-)

I'm not too sure how to approach the Gluons exactly. It's my brother's band (well, he's in the band he doesn't OWN it, lol) and we mostly don't get along real well. So it's hard to admit that I actually like their music. Plus I've never heard that kind of music before really so it's hard to categorize it or compare it to anything. I mean, it's probably not very original but it's new to me.

Kilian, believe me I would take out the LOLs if I could but I'm addicted! *suppressing urge to type LOL here* I don't think I CAN quit.

Zebedee, there's no connection between all of those probably. Even though I almost always update my blog twice a day I'm really bad about keeping the links up to date and in order. I keep meaning to delete the Tori Amos and Bright Eyes links and I like Ned Raggett's site alot, even though its place in the list doesn't really mean anything. Me being so poor with HTML doesn't help matters also. (c:

Thanks again for all the suggestions. I might try to rewrite it and post it again I'm not sure. I can definately see how I should be more specific and stuff. And I spent more time complaining about the crowd and Brandan (yes, he can be annoying but then completely sweet too, it's strange) than I did talking about the actual music. 8-P

― Erin Caruthers (maneki neko), Friday, 27 September 2002 19:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

Sean, I thought I was always taught in English class varying sentence length was 'correct'? Knowing me I misremember and it's supposed to be the other way around. ;-)
No, no, that's true, but there's a few places in there where there are a bunch of really short ones in a row, and it's like rat-a-tat-tat. In the end, I guess that's MY issue and not yours; mark s is probably right.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 27 September 2002 20:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.