who has a "best friend"?

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I have an official "best friend", we went to high school together, were best men at each other's weddings, etc. But we see each other at most once a year now and aren't really in regular contact, so I'd be hard pressed to call him my current "best friend." On the other hand, I wouldn't hesitate to call him at 3 in the morning if there was a situation that necessitated it, and I hope he wouldn't hesitate either. I don't know. I have a bunch of close friends who I turn to for different things, depending on the situation. But on a day to day basis, my wife is my best friend. (aww.....)

― JesseFox (JesseFox), Monday, 25 August 2003 04:09 (twenty years ago) link

i have had best friends and i have had friends that i thought were my best friends but turned out not to be that at all.
i have one 'close' friend who has remained a really good friend for over 20 years even though distance has made this difficult at times. this is enough for me, now.
i dont need to put the label on anymore i suppose, which isnt to say that it is wrong to do so, i just dont want to.

― donna (donna), Monday, 25 August 2003 05:32 (twenty years ago) link

My best friends since high school have been, without fail, whoever I'm dating.

― Scaredy Cat, Monday, 25 August 2003 05:36 (twenty years ago) link

I have a friend who I see more than any other friends, we've knowne each other for 13 years, we live close by (but even when he was abroad for 2 years we were in touch regularly, I went to see him etc.) and when social things are being organised, he's the first person on the list. I have no problem with saying he's my best friend - and I *think* he'd say the same about me.

(I'm ignoring the slight inferiority complex I have in the friendship, him being cleverer, more handsome, more motivated, richer, more confident, sportier etc. etc.)

Significant others as "best friend" - what do you think?

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 25 August 2003 08:20 (twenty years ago) link

I used to have a best friend, in the schoolgirl sense of the word. I met her at high school, and we immediately found a common note. For years we were as close as you can get; we shared everything, we often slept next to each other, we used to wrestle and fight constantly (she's almost as tall as me). In fact, we were almost like dating couple, except for the dating part. I've had sexual tensions with couple of my female friends, but never with her. Her boyfriends often saw me as a threat, because they didn't understand how she could be so close with another guy. We didn't care.

Then she moved to another city, which obviously changed our relationship. We're both crappy at keeping up long-distance friendships, so we drifted apart. Since then, she's moved back here, but our relationship's isn't the same any more. We have different circles of friends now, so we see each other quite irregularly. But I still spend every Christmas with her, and we still have that connection that made us friends in the first place.

As for really close friends, I've always had several of them. Throughout the years I've lost some and found some new friends, but I've always had maybe ten people who I can call anytime and talk about anything. I couldn't imagine it being different.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 25 August 2003 08:23 (twenty years ago) link

Significant others as "best friend" - what do you think?

i think this is one of those things where in some cases SO would be BF as well, and some cases where SO and BF would be different, and that neither scenario is necessarily better, just different

― gareth (gareth), Monday, 25 August 2003 08:27 (twenty years ago) link

My husband is my best friend. I definitely don't have a best friend within my social circle. There are people I've known longer, and therefore am probably closer to, but "best friend" seems a little strong, especially when these people have significant others also who would rate much further up the scale of bestfriendness.

Can I be the first cheesy person and also include my mum and my little brother as my closest friends? My mum hates when I say that, as she doesn't want us to be "friends", she likes us being a close mother and daughter. But it's evolved so much over the years, that it's changed significantly from when I was younger. My little brother is the biz as well.

I should get out more.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 25 August 2003 08:43 (twenty years ago) link

i have about 3 best friends all good for different things but theres usually only one best friend who i tell everything to . boo hoo she is away right now, just when i need to ring her up and cry....

― hellbaby (hellbaby), Monday, 25 August 2003 08:45 (twenty years ago) link

i have 2 best friends

― minna (minna), Monday, 25 August 2003 09:38 (twenty years ago) link

yeah, same here. but I only call 'em every 1-2 months and haven't seen either in six months.

I think they are very good friends and have known them for many years.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 25 August 2003 09:49 (twenty years ago) link

A 'best friend' would be somebody whose first priority would be MY interests, so 'no'

― dave q, Monday, 25 August 2003 09:50 (twenty years ago) link

gareth- "i guess i dont at the moment, thinking about it, i think i have at various times in the past, but my life is quite unordered at the moment, and i have quite a disparate groups of friends, none of whom i really get to see enough, perhaps when things return to some kind of normality/routine (should that happen), then one of those friendships will coalesce in a best friend scenario... "

i kind of concur with that. i have some close friends but they're sort of all over the place and i don't know any of their friendy-groupy things well enough to do friendy-groupy things with them though i did use to have a best friends until about 2 1/2 years ago. i think it's probably quite rare to have a single best friend who you sitck with and are able to keep in regular contact with cos life is far too complicated.
and a lot of the time who you end up being friends with is so random.
and there are so many people in the world everyone must have hundreds/thousands/millions of potential best friends (depending on how amenable one is) so what's the point of just sticking to one.

― DJ Baird, Monday, 25 August 2003 11:29 (twenty years ago) link

I think women are more inclined to have "best friends" when they get older than blokes.guys tend to have groups of friend they treat pretty much equally i think. Im a guy though and i have a female best friend who now lives several thousand miles away. we have know each other for about 20 years now and i only get to see her a couple of times a year. she's still my best friend though.

― jed_e_3 (jed_e_3), Monday, 25 August 2003 11:56 (twenty years ago) link

hi sarah!

― jed_e_3 (jed_e_3), Monday, 25 August 2003 11:57 (twenty years ago) link

My best friend right now is my boyfriend. I mean, we spend LOADS of time together and he knows me better than just about everyone except for my family. And I seriously consider my sisters and my mom my closest female friends. I have a group of close friends, but once again, I'd say NA is my best one.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 25 August 2003 12:27 (twenty years ago) link

I've known my very closest friend since we started pre-prep together age 5, but he didn't truly become my best friend for another 5 years. We stayed in the same schools together, supported each other through some rough times and became as close as brothers. Some days I reckon his influence on my life is bigger than either of us realise. Of course, it got derailed somewhat when we went to different unis, although he made a big effort to get me into his new/old circle of friends whenever I came back to London. No we've both graduated, he's just joined the army, which sucks for me as we'll probably never be as close again.

My other best male buddy, who I met at my last school, was always semi envious-I think sometimes I gave him the impression that he didn't measure up or something and they didn't meet each other for years. Even so, he was pretty much there when my other mate wasn't and we had more in common cause I refused to grow up as fast as my other buddy did, who's practically a grandpa :-).

My best female friend is the fucking best. Always trying to make me get my shit together, poking fun at those who need it and always there with the sympathy and the sarcasm.

― Barima (Barima), Monday, 25 August 2003 13:44 (twenty years ago) link

I think Ailsa would make a great best friend. Her post was lovely.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:01 (twenty years ago) link

I have two female best friends - one from highschool, one I just met two years ago. Both are amazing women, and really, I'd take a bullet for either of them.

I have two male best friends, neither of whom I've spoken to consistently in awhile - both are former SOs - one high school, one more recent. I love them all.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:09 (twenty years ago) link

I don't think I've really had a best friend since my teens, maybe since I got together with the woman I would spend the next 23 years with, until two years ago. I guess among my friends since then, I could say that one has been more of a friend, and I've seen him more often, than the others, but it's a pretty close thing and I can't see any useful purpose in picking out one person and distinguishing him in some way from these other old and important friends.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 25 August 2003 19:45 (twenty years ago) link

I didn't answer? Nutty me. BM and KS, lurv ya both more than I can say; never change, except for the even better. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 25 August 2003 19:48 (twenty years ago) link

i think in playground politics the "best friend" is like a high card that can be played. when you're not very popular it can be one of the few cards to play. whenever i am about to invoke the concept these days, i worry that i'm doing it for similar reasons.

― amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 25 August 2003 19:52 (twenty years ago) link

I have a best friend (male) whom I've known for almost 10years--we were just half-joking yesterday that we should do something for our anniversary. Going 3 days without seeing each other is a long time. We've both said for awhile that if one of us was female, we'd be married.
We both have another mutual friend that we're pretty close to, just not quite as close as the two of us are. This can get a lil awkward.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 25 August 2003 20:00 (twenty years ago) link

Li'l Awkward is Master P's latest protege I hear.

― amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 25 August 2003 20:30 (twenty years ago) link

Oops, just fuck him already!

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 25 August 2003 21:24 (twenty years ago) link

(it's Dan Sp!nab377a, and, alas, we're both raging heterosexuals)

― oops (Oops), Monday, 25 August 2003 21:36 (twenty years ago) link

Alas.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 25 August 2003 21:37 (twenty years ago) link

Historically, my best friends have been women. With the two most prominent ones, I've also dated them at some point. I'd like to say this only makes the friendship closer, etc. etc., but it also tends to make it needlessly complicated.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 25 August 2003 21:44 (twenty years ago) link

Ooo, you make me live
Whatever this world can give to me
It's you, you're all I see
Ooo, you make me live now honey
Ooo, you make me live

You're the best friend that I ever had
I've been with you such a long time
You're my sunshine
And I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
You're my best friend

Ooo, you make me live

I've been wandering round
But I still come back to you
In rain or shine
You've stood by me girl
I'm happy, happy at home
You're my best friend.

Ooo, you make me live.

I'm happy, happy at home
You're my best friend
You're my best friend
Ooo, you make me live
You, you're my best friend.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 25 August 2003 23:16 (twenty years ago) link

I have four best friends: Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky & Mike. Actually, that was back when I was in New Edition.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 25 August 2003 23:24 (twenty years ago) link

ralph and johnny feel very left out.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 25 August 2003 23:26 (twenty years ago) link

his name is codeine/& he's the nicest thing i've seen/& together we're just waitin round to die

― duane, Tuesday, 26 August 2003 02:07 (twenty years ago) link

(don't worry i got tons of real friends i just like that song)

― duane, Tuesday, 26 August 2003 02:08 (twenty years ago) link

I would say James is my best friend as I spend most time with him & I always go to him first. I have 2 supposed best friends, but I consider one of those more of a 'best friend' than the other. But yeah, James is prolly the main best friend.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 09:13 (twenty years ago) link

-- jed_e_3 (c_ohar...), August 25th, 2003.

i agree with jed....although i have actually known him for nigh on 30 years. he is my bezzie mate 4ever.....FOSAP when are you coming to visit me?

― scampi, Wednesday, 27 August 2003 00:31 (twenty years ago) link

Mrs Coastaltown knows me better than anybody else does. I don't regard her as me best friend though. Sorry, what were the rules again?

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 02:25 (twenty years ago) link

I have, like, three best friends, or close enough. Two of them are in my band, which I have to admit is pretty sweet. The third is my ex.

That said, the sense of "best friend" isn't quite as strong as it used to be. I mean, when I was younger I thought more in terms of "tiers" of friends, and... well, I mean I realized even then that it was a somewhat psychopathic way to divide up people but... I like lists.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 03:28 (twenty years ago) link

five years pass...

i definitely have a few. 1 in this city (girlfriend best friend), 1 from school (oldschool best friend), and my boyfriend (trumps everyone else best friend). all different kinds of best friends.

― Surmounter, Monday, 16 March 2009 16:07 (fifteen years ago) link

My wife is obv my bestest friend, but outside of her, I've had the same best friend since first grade. I'm going to carry his coffin one day or he's gonna carry mine.

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 16 March 2009 16:16 (fifteen years ago) link

i thought this thread was about dogs

― \∫Öζ/.... argh oh noes! (ken c), Monday, 16 March 2009 16:39 (fifteen years ago) link

I've had a number of best friends over the years but I currently maintain a best male friend and a best lady friend. Neither of whom I'm dating.

― Nate Carson, Tuesday, 17 March 2009 00:20 (fifteen years ago) link

nine years pass...

― calstars, Saturday, 16 June 2018 22:08 (five years ago) link

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