Kids say the darndest things

once very cheerfully yelled to my pal "see you later, asshole!" as our parents were taking us home from preschool. my mom was not, uh, thrilled

― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Tuesday, March 17, 2009 4:54 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I am LOLing so hard here...

Yesterday, at preschool:

Teacher: So when you breathe in (mimes breathing in, shows her chest puff out), where does the air go?
Other Kid: Your stomach?
Teacher: No...
Ben: Oh! Your boobies!

It's a wonder more babies don't get the hiccups.

"I'm a sassy pooper!"

you sure are, kid

hahahahaha

Old People Say The Darndest Things would of been a good show

Would be called "Kind of LOL But Mostly Sad"

Ava has started to convene twice-daily meetings in her bedroom where she is the mayor and she tells us her opinions and summarises recent events. She reverses the big armchair, clambers in, leans on a cushion and delivers her speech. It lasts about 20min.

Last night I got the lowdown on how practically everyone in her class had dressed on World Book Day (of course, on WBD itself she was totally unforthcoming about this - we had to wait until she rolled out the info) and "things I like about my sister". This included "things she makes from Lego - you can see an example of her work over there" and "her love for hippos". I also learned that the plush hippos are called "Spotius" and "Big Fat" or, alternatively, "Surrey Hike" and "Plantar Boardby".

"The next mayor meeting is at ONE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING and I need both you and Mummy to be there." Thankfully we had it at 7:15am instead.

Lulu has also been invited to participate. She mostly talks about her bunny and pulls hilarious faces.

What band's EP would look like this?

1. Spotius
2. Big Fat
3. Surrey Hike
4. Plantar Boardby

Deerhunter

"things she makes from Lego - you can see an example of her work over there"

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 A V A <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

also

"things I like about my sister . . . her love for hippos"

hysterical

show Lulu this picture of a mama and baby hippo - I bet she'd love it: http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/216392_10150179343042147_28896772146_6800898_746566_n.jpg

Haaa...Michael, that is fantastic.

Lulu was totally charmed by the hippo picture, btw!

:D

chill fuckin hippos

Playground exchange:

Other kid: I'm black, you're white!
Veronica: I'm white, you're black!
Other kid: I'm the Hulk!
Veronica: I'm Cinderella!

US race relations SOLVED

"what's happening, Pancho Villa?"

tbf I WAS wearing an oversized novelty sombrero

LOL

Ben just said to Owen "I'm not mean, I'm just naughty."

honestly I think kids saying funny stuff is like the number three reason I would like to have kids

Lulu is wearing her Powerpuff Girls T-shirt to bed.
L: I am the one with blonde hair, Ava is the one with a red bow, Mummy is the one with black hair.
Me: Who am I?
A: Maybe you're the writing underneath.
L: NO, NO, Daddy's the stars on my knickers!

HAHAHAHAAHA

IRL LOL.

mike = professor utonium, obviously

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/2b/Professor_Utonium_PPG.jpg/160px-Professor_Utonium_PPG.jpg

A & L playing with Lego and figures on the landing upstairs...

L: "Who are they? Are they OK?"
A: "That's Ramshacklee, Ramshackala and Ramshackle. But their names don't matter - they've fallen off a 100-foot cliff."
L: "Are you going to bury them?"
A: "No, I'll wait for them to come alive again."
L: "Ok. I'm going SWIMMING! To feed the sharks with LOVELY GRASS!"

And so on. FOR HOURS.

http://www.cocaineblunts.com/blunts/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/rammellzee.jpg

That's exactly who I thought of.

Ramshacklee, Ramshackala and Ramshackle. But their names don't matter - they've fallen off a 100-foot cliff.

Sounds like the premise for an awesome television serial.

Exchange between my friend and his daughter:

Him: "I may never understand your need to make everything more difficult for everyone."
Her: "Everyone has needs, Dad."

Sunny trying to coax some problem-solving…

MOM: Well, Beeps, ask yourself where you last saw him.
BEEPS: BUT, I can't ask myself a question!

Us taking off on a flight to Missouri last week:

Me: Sweetie, take your pacifier. It will help your ears.
Chloe: *sticks pacifier in ear*

screaming at the top of his lungs last night while my wife was at paul simon..."I WANT YODA, I WANT SAUSAGES". Daddy wants a vacation.

"I WANT YODA, I WANT SAUSAGES" - new board description plz

Exchange between my friend and his daughter:

Him: "I may never understand your need to make everything more difficult for everyone."
Her: "Everyone has needs, Dad."
--Darin

Lol. This sounds like Kirby and his daughter, Darin.

You are correct, sir!

Ben, the other day to my stepmom:

"When you're mean to your friends, that's when you know you're alive."

Uh oh.

lol, that is disgraceful.

oh my god. something tells me ben is going to excel in high school.

If only he was a girl...

My daughter has very clearly been enunciating "daddy" all week and I've been stoked because she's sorta been doing mama and dada and baba (for bottle), but it hasn't been very distinct. I felt very proud for a couple of days until, after careful observation, I realized that she thinks "daddy" means "cat".

ahahahaha

awww :D

There was some story on ILX a long time ago about someone's kid thinking toast meant frog and I wish I could remember the deetz because it was pretty funny iirc.

Stories from the past:

In Supermarket, Alice aged 2.

Alice: "MARK!!!"
Me: "Alice, I'm your dad! I'm not your mother's boyfriend!"
Alice: "a Ha hahaha ha!"

toast:
Hello Mudduh Hello Fadduh: ILX Rolling Parenting Thread

:)

TOAST!

baby has learned to "meow" (more like a high-pitched howl) when she sees our cats or pictures of cats.
the other day we were at the pool, and there were a bunch of kids from the boys & girls club swimming around. i said "hey look at all the kiddies!" she started meowing. she thought i said kitties.

that's so cute

"daddy?"

"yes?"

"i don't like your shirt"

lol