thread to get over a breakup

That's actually really good advice! My last devastating breakup was the impetus that got me into the gym for like two to three hours a day and i lost a ton of weight and got strong as I've ever been. Working out was the only thing that kept me from going fetal; like the old saying goes, it's tough to complain about heartbreak when you've just been punched in the stomach.

Yeah I mean the "hitting something else" can veer from difficult but ultimately productive activities all the way to blatantly self-destructive ones -- you have to choose your own adventure in this.

things have sort of changed in my house in the past few days, i finally got laid after two years and we've been snuggling all night for the past few nights and i've overall felt pretty good. oh and with my wife.

wtg Chris!

oh awesome

That is excellent.

That's great Chris!

yeah its been pretty great...i think the whole "he's actually leaving" thing sort of straightened us out. Hopefully it will last...or it could just be hysterical bonding.

http://virtualofficefaq.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/macys-great-american-marching-band-in-macys-thanksgiving-day-parade.jpg

now im all worried its "hysterical bonding"

There is very little information on this phenomenon, but it appears to be a primal, instinctual way for the partners to reconnect and reclaim each other. The intimacy encourages communication and a closeness that may otherwise take some time to re-build.

im gonna try to "straighten her out" again tonight ;)

I think you should let go of the second-guessing and enjoy the cuddlesex

don't look giftsex in the mouth...or something

i dont know if it was exactly a gift for her since it was like i put it in and exploded. its been a long time...what do you want from me!

i was like a teenager that got touched on the penis for the first time.

I'm sure she knew it was a, uh, gesture of gratitude

let me rephrase: what Dan said

and last night was really the first time in months that i slept like a log. I even had a dream i was going to prom.

hopefully she didnt say anything like 'and then you wonder why you have to wait a year' cos that would be bad

:D :D

\o/

nope nothing like that. trust me, i finished her off too.

"Dreamed I was going to prom" deserves to be a euphemism for something. In a good way.

But did you go as a viking?

i wasn't going to prom with her. it was weird, my mother did not approve of my date.

(Dr Freud scratches beard thoughtfully)

yeah no kidding

I dreamt that my (ex)bf changed his mind about having a baby and we had celebratory sex and it was awesome. Sadly nothing of the sort has happened.

:(

was going to say "kiu chris" until I got to

it was like i put it in and exploded.

http://server3.uploadit.org/files/slebowski-221kablooie_small.jpg

:-) Chris.

Chris's oversharing is like my 3 year old nephew telling me about the awesome dump he took in the toilet...sure it's TMI, but you're just so happy for him that you let it go :)

stoked for you, chris

I'm unfamiliar w/ the term "hysterical bonding" but may have experienced it during my last breakup

imo if you've been really disconnected for a while, ANY honest and vulnerable communication can result in reigniting intimacy

^^^^

Well done Chris. Once it's reignited, you've got a decent chance, no matter how it happened. If the implication of 'hysterical' is 'it might not last', I guess you take your chances with that and try to rebuild in other ways more slowly and steadily.

I lurk on this thread because I don't quite know where my relationship is going and it helps to remind myself that if it ends, it won't be the end of the world, I will not be the only person on earth going through it, and people (you) are very resilient in the end run.

Except me. My girl left meWAAAAHHHHH :-( and I can't WAAAHHH get over it. No matter what happens, I never again have what I lost. It was perfect. Why did I let her go? whywhywhywhywhy? She taught me everything I know about lifelovemusicfateunderstandingempathyeverythingeverything. She was gorgeous she still is wtf is wrong with my eyes? And that soft, sultry voice that purrs over each word and her silky soft touch i'll never feel again. I want her i need her her her her She's gone forever

Not feeling very resiliant.

And if ever there were a post for posts sake, that's one. I'm just so... tired, and flat.

Ach sweetie. Some days are like that.

Emotional fitness is sensibly much like physical fitness; you can get just worn out. If you were physically exhausted, you'd know to rest, right?

I guess I don't know how to rest from this.

zora, i think you are being brave and absolutely doing the right thing for yourself and of course you are tired, but it will pass. even if you didn't want it to pass it would, that's how it goes.

I'm sending good thoughts your way, Zora. Heartbreak is heartbreak and it hurts and sucks, but there is meaning to be found in it, too. I'm a better person and a better partner for having been heartbroken. And were I parenthood-oriented it would be a better parent for it, too!

Hang in there, you'll do great <3

Thank you both. I'm old enough to have been through this wringer a few times but you always have more to learn about life.

I'm on holiday with family this week, and although the nights have been rough, when everyone else has gone to bed & I'm afraid to, the days have been glorious. Spring + the Pembrokeshire coast ftw.

Thinking of you regularly, Zo. Have lovely vacation days in the sunshine.

spring is always good for a pick me up!

And so it came to pass. Officially hello thread.

sorry man