Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

One day I screamed at him that all he wanted was a) more money, b) a job in his field of study, and c) to sleep with the girl he'd been flirting with all that fall.

That shut up him for a day or two, but no more.

She hates me. Or maybe I should stick with "She hate me" but that movie sounds rub.

xpost

Our boss actually said at the end of a staff meeting that "If you're checking your personal web mail, or reading forums, or webchatting while you're here... then you're stealing from me."

We all had a good laugh after he left, and "stealing from (boss's name goes here)" has became a code phrase for "illicit" web activity.

So then I pick it up to look at the cover sheet to see if it says what the position is.

So then the coworker comes over (it was hers after all) grabs it up and says, "Don't look at anything that doesn't have anything to do with you!" I go over to her desk and say, "I'm sorry. I thought maybe they were going to hire someone else without letting us know."

Then next time I go to get something off the printer, she's standing there. She flips through and takes her things out. Then she gets to an order I printed out and drops it immediately back down on the printer saying, "I don't read things that don't concern me!" I thought she might be joking, so I started to laugh, but then she huffed and stormed back to her desk.

Anyway, I was just alone in the kitchen eating my lunch and reading. He came in and was quiet for like a minute. Then he interrupted me and was like, "Sarah, we haven't been having our talks any more." Whatever that means.

He got around to talking about my band. He asked something to the effect of, "Are you trying to make it big?" Before I could say anything in response, he shook his head and say, "Oh, no, I guess not, much too late for that. Now you have to get married and start having kids. Plus, you have this job now."

One of our offices is having Printer Problems. One of their printers died yesterday, and we've been trying to decide what to buy them to replacement. Anyway, this morning me and another IT staffer are in their office, and the office supervisor says:

"If you don't get that printer fixed by tomorrow, you've got a big problem. We've got to print our weekly reports tomorrow, and that's the only printer where we can get it to line up with the form on the paper."

We explain that, as we're going to have to buy her a new printer - which we told her yesterday, there's no way it will be replaced by the morning.

"Well, it's your problem. You're welcome to try lining up the paper on the other printer, but I don't think you'll be able to."

So, we retire to the IT office. "Total bullshit" says our manager. The co-worker offers to donate his printer to the cause of inter-office harmony, and I swap them over. I go to her and ask what one of these reports looks like, exactly, and which computer they want to print it from. I do a test run; it lines up exactly, first time; so I explain that the printer that's now sitting on the desk across the room is a different one (she hadn't noticed me lugging the old one out and this one in) and that it will therefore have a different name on-screen. And then, I go around the office setting everyone's computers up to use the new printer.

Ten minutes later, I'm printing a test page from one of the other computers, and she gets up to go over and see what it is.

"Are you trying to print something?"

"Yes, but it doesn't seem to be working."

"Which printer are you trying to print to"

"Oh, I don't know," she says, getting a bit louder. "Printer X, Printer Y, you've moved them all around, you keep saying that what we've been calling Printer X for years we should actually be calling something else! It won't print! Look, I'm trying to print an email and it takes THIRTY SECONDS to send it to the printer! This is a busy office! I don't have time to wait that long each time I have to print an email"

"Um, couldn't you do something else whilst you're waiting for it to print"

"Like what, exactly?"

"Well, I don't know - I don't know what work you have to do whenever"

"Can't you just fix it? Why can't you get it to print straight away"

"Um ... well, I could try altering one of the settings. I can't promise to make it faster, though."

"Look, I've had it up to here with your ARROGANCE. It's A FUCKING PRINTER, NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. YOU'RE IN I.T., YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET IT WORKING. You're just TOO ARROGANT ALL THE TIME." And she picked up her packet of fags and stormed off to the smoking room. Her staff - there are normally four or five other people in the same office - sat in deathly silence.

Our manager had, I knew, already complained to hers about her telling us that we "had a big problem" earlier. The next time I popped into his office, coincidentally, both of them were having a chat; so I casually mentioned that she'd "got a bit shouty" with me, and told them what she said. Mwahahaha.

(this office supervisor often phones me up complaning that the fax server isn't working because a fax she sent ten minutes ago hasn't been sent yet. The answer is almost always "the other end isn't answering the phone", which isn't exactly something I can help with - although she does often say "isn't there anything you can do about it?")

During those rare moments when she's not eating, she's barely intelligible and mumbling on and on, never really finishing a sentence.

Oh, and today she's wearing her stinky pants.

I was just informed of the verdict by someone who sounded like he was delivering me news of the Hindenberg crashing. Puh-lease.

But then again, at least I don't have to deal with Mimi Smartypants' co-workers:

Yesterday I was peeing in the office bathroom when someone else came in, went into a stall, and started doing her thing. I finished and was washing my hands when A Rude Noise erupted from the mystery person's stall. Immediately, the mystery person said, "Excuse me." I have several issues with this.

(a) If you can't make rude noises in the bathroom without making the customary verbal excuses, where can you make them?
(b) To be honest, I am not sure I ever want to hear "excuse me" or a sheepish ownership claim from makers of rude noises, even when we are face-to-face, even when it is obvious what has happened. Rude noises are embarrassing enough---must we dwell on the topic?
(c) Most horrifying of all: when the rude noise occurred, I had no idea who was in the stall, since I had not seen her come in. But when she said, "Excuse me?" I KNEW. AND I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW.

Woo-hoo! Free booze for all! Do they really think we'll gte any work done now? My data analysis is getting abit shoddy after too much red wine. I've decided to name my querystring MONEY so I can be happy when my database is on it. Heh.

I heart ad agencies!

OK, I have to work like a bloody dog, and I'm probably going to be here until at least 6, but, hey... FREE BOOZE!

(xpost)

The first day here, they gave me a spreadsheet with 270 photos of rubbish bands on it and said that it was the office challenge to see how many I could name. I got 190, which was the second hightest in the office (after the boss of course).

I had *forgotten* all the good things about working in Advertising.