i just noticed in the Wizard episode. When Kramer runs for president at the Florida retirement place a selection of 'spinning' newspaper headlines come up on screen.If you look in the bottom corner of each newspaper you can see:
"Larry David get hole in one!""Larry David hurts elbow""Larry David never to play golf again"
― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Monday, 8 December 2008 21:28 (fifteen years ago) link
aww larry <3
― RADNESS UNLIMITED! (sunny successor), Tuesday, 9 December 2008 00:23 (fifteen years ago) link
My favourite George moment, when he claims that he could never have sex with a virgin because "it's their first time - they'll remember the first time! I don't want to be remembered. I want to be forgotten!"
― Myonga Vön Bontee, Tuesday, 9 December 2008 09:50 (fifteen years ago) link
heard an absolute belter from George last night
Jerry: "So, maybe they had Chinese food?"George: "After dark? Please. At their age, that's like swallowing stungrenades."
― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Tuesday, 9 December 2008 09:54 (fifteen years ago) link
STELLA! STELLA!
Same episode: "You got a lotta nerve takin' that kid's pen!"
― If Timi Yuro would be still alive, most other singers could shut up, Tuesday, 9 December 2008 10:28 (fifteen years ago) link
JERRY: Oh hey, there's Ramon. Pretend we're talking.
KRAMER: We are talking.
JERRY: Pretend it's interesting.
KRAMER: So, ah then, I ah had to kill him and ah, well the police arestill looking for me.
― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Wednesday, 10 December 2008 22:49 (fifteen years ago) link
"all laid out like your mothers panties"been chuckling over this all week
― geoff
I know I'm late to the game on this one but was watching this episode again today and the line is "the panties your mother laid out for you".
― what U cry 4 (jim), Monday, 15 December 2008 21:31 (fifteen years ago) link
and is hilarious.
You'd think a guy as focused on social rules as Jerry would recognize that "don't introduce people's mothers into dirty talk" is definitely one of them.
― nabisco, Monday, 15 December 2008 21:33 (fifteen years ago) link
And that's without even starting on the infantilizing/pedophilic aspect
John Cheever's letter in that episode is funny too:
"Dear Henry, last night with you was bliss. I fear my orgasm has left me a cripple. I don't know how I shall ever get back to work. I love you madly, John. PS. Love the cabin."
― what U cry 4 (jim), Monday, 15 December 2008 22:09 (fifteen years ago) link
oh and the comparison of the cabin with Superman's Fortress of Solitude.
― what U cry 4 (jim), Monday, 15 December 2008 22:10 (fifteen years ago) link
Jerry: Because I killed first and warmed up the crowd. He's like that fishthat attaches himself to the shark.
George: And you're the shark?
Jerry: Yeah, I'm the shark and he's the fish eating my laughs.
George: I don't know how a fish could eat laughs.
Jerry: Well, I'm glad I brought it up.
― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 19:53 (fifteen years ago) link
George: I want you to have this job. Of course...
Jerry: Yeah?
George: That's it.
Jerry: What do you mean that's it?
George: He never finished the sentence. He got a call, that was the end of the interview.
Jerry: "Of course" was the last thing he said?
George: Maybe he was going to say "Of course I have to check with my associates."
Elaine: "I want you to have this job, of course the Board of Directors is under indictment and will be
serving time."
Jerry: "I want you to have this job, of course sodomy is a prerequisite."
― James Morrison, Wednesday, 11 February 2009 22:52 (fifteen years ago) link
what's the deal with what's the deal with
― burt_stanton, Thursday, 12 February 2009 03:03 (fifteen years ago) link
i love how the "seinfeld isn't funny" jibes on this thread are unfunnier than anything that was ever on seinfeld, viz a viz:
I keep reading this thread title as "Favorite lies from Seinfeld?" and then the tiny devil perched on my left shoulder sez "That he's funny?"
Then I think "Great. That's highly entertaining brain, thanks. You can stop now." lather, rinse, repeat.
― Kim (Kim), Saturday, August 23, 2003 7:52 AM (5 years ago)
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 12 February 2009 03:24 (fifteen years ago) link
George, at Monk's with Jerry: "When are they gonna learn that any news aboutChina is an instant page-turner?"
― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Friday, 13 February 2009 12:43 (fifteen years ago) link
"you know why dogs don't have money? no pockets"
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 13 February 2009 12:46 (fifteen years ago) link
on a sidenote...
wale recently released his 'mixtape about nothing,' a hip-hop mixtape with a seinfeld theme. and a cameo from julia louis-dreyfus! it's a free download here: <http://10deep.com/WALEMIXTAPE/>. and also pretty damn good.
― art hums, Friday, 13 February 2009 19:49 (fifteen years ago) link
argh.
http://10deep.com/WALEMIXTAPE/
― art hums, Friday, 13 February 2009 19:50 (fifteen years ago) link
I had it. I was there.. and then.. I hit the Van Wyck.
― double bird strike (gabbneb), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 01:17 (fifteen years ago) link
ahaha classic episode, elaine rampaging through her bedroom is so great
― suggban stevens (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 01:23 (fifteen years ago) link
George, in his apartment with Maura: "And so, for all these reasons, we are officially broken up. Thank you, and good night."
Maura: "No, George, we're not."
George: "But I proved it!"
Maura: "I refuse to give up on this relationship. It's like launchingmissiles from a submarine. Both of use have to turn our keys."
George: "Well, then, I am gonna have to ask you to turn your key."
Maura: "I'm sorry, George, I can't do that."
George: "Turn your key, Maura. Turn your key!"
---------------
Maura, coming in George's apartment: "Hey, Honey."
George: "What? M-Maura, what are you doin' here? I ended this relationship,twice."
Maura: "George, you didn't mean that. That was just a fight."
George: "Why does it only seem like I'm the only one working at this breakup?"
Maura: "George, I listened to your arguments, and they were rambling and flimsy. I'm not convinced. Come on, get dressed and let's get some dinner."
George: "All right."
http://www.lulu.com/items/volume_62/1863000/1863652/1/preview/320_1863652.jpg
― its gotta be HOOSy para steen (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 01:42 (fifteen years ago) link
sorry hoos
― f f murray abraham (G00blar), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 01:45 (fifteen years ago) link
"Whatever happened to 'my what a lovely dress you have on MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE'"
― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 13:02 (fifteen years ago) link
Well generally you don't need any extra incentive to murder a dry cleaner.
― loaded forbear (gabbneb), Tuesday, 5 May 2009 03:15 (fifteen years ago) link
Imagine. Her taking credit for your big salad.
― aaron d.g., Tuesday, 5 May 2009 04:35 (fifteen years ago) link
roommates and i str8 up dying @ the big salad ep atm
― zone 6 polar bear (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 5 May 2009 04:45 (fifteen years ago) link
Caught one of my favorite episodes tonight:"As far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken."
― Telephone thing, Tuesday, 5 May 2009 06:21 (fifteen years ago) link
Er, NOTHING more. That's what I get for Googling to get the right phrasing and just ctrl-v'ing without reading it first.
― Telephone thing, Tuesday, 5 May 2009 06:33 (fifteen years ago) link
..and over there son, is Brooklyn. That's where Spike Lee lives.
― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Tuesday, 5 May 2009 09:45 (fifteen years ago) link
"....Mulva?"
OTM.
― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 5 May 2009 12:51 (fifteen years ago) link
erry: Elaine, see this T-shirts, six years I've had this T-shirts, it's my
best one, I call him...Golden Boy
Elaine: I'm on the phone here.
Jerry: Golden Boy is always the first shirt I wear out of the laundry, here
touch Golden Boy!
Elaine: No thanks. (to the phone)Yeah, Yeah I'll hold.
Jerry: But see look at the collar, see it's fraying. Golden Boy is slowly
dying. Each wash is brings him one step closer, that's what makes
the T-shirts such a tragic figure.
Elaine: Why don't you just let Golden Boy soak in the sink with some
Woolight?
Jerry: No!!! The reason he's iron man is because he goes out there and plays
every game. Wash!!! Spin!!! Rinse!!! Spin!!! You take that away
from him, you break his spirit!
― Suggesteban Cambiasso (jim), Tuesday, 5 May 2009 15:30 (fifteen years ago) link
lol "this t-shirts".
you get the gist.
― Suggesteban Cambiasso (jim), Tuesday, 5 May 2009 15:31 (fifteen years ago) link
the entire series, pretty much
I need to start renting Curb Your Enthusiasm DVD sets pronto
― Beatrix Kiddo, Tuesday, 5 May 2009 15:39 (fifteen years ago) link
the ukraine is weak!
― slow lorax (k3vin k.), Tuesday, 5 May 2009 15:45 (fifteen years ago) link
woah. that's a lot of potatoes
― andrew m., Tuesday, 5 May 2009 15:52 (fifteen years ago) link
Hey could you do me a favour?What?Could yer shut up?
― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Tuesday, 5 May 2009 15:53 (fifteen years ago) link
Golden Boy was funnier to read than to watch
― loaded forbear (gabbneb), Tuesday, 5 May 2009 15:54 (fifteen years ago) link
Seinfeld Scripts
― SongOfSam, Tuesday, 5 May 2009 15:59 (fifteen years ago) link
"No, George, I.....am breaking up with you"
"You can't break up with me! I've got hand!"
"And you're gonna need it!"
― Adam Bruneau, Tuesday, 5 May 2009 16:23 (fifteen years ago) link
George: Hey.
Jerry: Where have you been? You know, you're on next.
George: I got lost on the way over.
Jerry: Got lost? We went to school here for three years.
George: What are these? (Holds test tubes to his head like antennae) Take me to your leader.
Jerry: Oh my God. You had sex. You had sex with Louise!
George: No, the Portuguese waitress.
Jerry: The Portuguese waitress?
George: I calculated my odds of ever getting together with a Portuguese waitress. Mathematically, I had to do it, Jerry.
Katie: George, George, you're on.
George: No, no. I'm not going on.
Jerry: Then what'd you come down here for?
George: To tell you about the Portuguese waitress.
― Krapp's lesser-known First Tape (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 5 May 2009 16:37 (fifteen years ago) link
"You know how the big toe is the captain of the toes, but sometimes the toe next to the big toe gets so big that there's a power struggle and the second toe assumes control of the foot?"
"The coup de toe."
― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 5 May 2009 17:50 (fifteen years ago) link
the funny part is how he says he used it & the joke fell flat
― autogucci cru (deej), Wednesday, 6 May 2009 00:20 (fifteen years ago) link
well its all funny parts really
what series is the ones that they make the sitcom called Jerry?
― jed_, Wednesday, 6 May 2009 00:27 (fifteen years ago) link
Season 4.
― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Wednesday, 6 May 2009 00:29 (fifteen years ago) link
cheers jim.
― jed_, Wednesday, 6 May 2009 00:31 (fifteen years ago) link