Kids say the darndest things

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"Mummy, you are good at telling off, and opening."

Meg (Meg Busset), Friday, 4 March 2011 18:08 (thirteen years ago) link

Me: Cole can you pick up that (unused) diaper on the floor please?
Cole: Daddy, that is NOT a diaper, THAT is a pull-up.
Me: Ok pal.

OLD MAN YELLS AT SHOUT RAP (chrisv2010), Friday, 4 March 2011 18:47 (thirteen years ago) link

I have that exact same conversation once a week.

Pleasant Plains, Friday, 4 March 2011 18:51 (thirteen years ago) link

this is not as exciting as many of these updates, but my 18-month old exclaims "OHHHH DUDE!" whenever she sees an airplane.

tylerw, Sunday, 6 March 2011 20:59 (thirteen years ago) link

hahahahaha

ENBB, Sunday, 6 March 2011 20:59 (thirteen years ago) link

i guess it is an appropriate response to seeing an airplane.

tylerw, Sunday, 6 March 2011 21:10 (thirteen years ago) link

totally

ENBB, Sunday, 6 March 2011 21:10 (thirteen years ago) link

whenever cole see an airplane he yells out "BUZZ LIGHTYEAR TO FINITEE AND BEYON"

OLD MAN YELLS AT SHOUT RAP (chrisv2010), Monday, 7 March 2011 15:14 (thirteen years ago) link

"daddy i washed my WEINER"

where the f did he learn that one.

The Scenario (chrisv2010), Wednesday, 16 March 2011 17:46 (thirteen years ago) link

not a sentence, but this morning my son did a gigantic poo in his potty (he is potty training) and disappeared behind the door on his way to empty it out in the toilet - he came back a second later kind of grinning and held up his hand for a high-five

40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 16 March 2011 17:49 (thirteen years ago) link

(and then went and emptied it)

40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 16 March 2011 17:50 (thirteen years ago) link

haha. i am scared of potty training, but i guess we'll have to get going on it soon. our friends with a slightly older kid did this potty training "boot camp" kind of thing where it was like an intense weekend of not leaving the house ... which sounded terrible, but it seems to have worked?
anyhoo, my daughter's main verbal thing now is "book-a-book-a-book-a!" repeated over and over when she wants to read a book. or read another book.

tylerw, Wednesday, 16 March 2011 17:56 (thirteen years ago) link

From last Friday: "I hope Godzilla's okay."

kkvgz, Thursday, 17 March 2011 01:14 (thirteen years ago) link

: |

kkvgz, Thursday, 17 March 2011 01:15 (thirteen years ago) link

Oh, and he's got the chorus to Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" stuck in his head too.

kkvgz, Thursday, 17 March 2011 01:24 (thirteen years ago) link

"WWGD?"

Mark G, Friday, 18 March 2011 09:35 (thirteen years ago) link

> "I hope Godzilla's okay."

don't let him watch the very first godzilla film - they explode all the oxygen in the water where he is and the last thing you see is his ribcage settling on the bottom.

luckily for the franchise this is followed by a scientist saying that further nuclear testing could easily produce more godzillas.

koogs, Friday, 18 March 2011 09:39 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah, he thinks black and white is boring anyways. : )

Algae-Eating Bowlkeeper (kkvgz), Friday, 18 March 2011 09:49 (thirteen years ago) link

BEEPS: You should grow a mustache.

ME: You don't think you'd get just a little scared if I started walking around with a mustache?

BEEPS: Well. You don't have to grow a REALLY BIG mustache! [holds her hands out to imaginary cat whiskers.]

Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 31 March 2011 17:29 (thirteen years ago) link

Me personally, I find the smaller mustaches even scarier.

Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 31 March 2011 17:29 (thirteen years ago) link

aw

kkvgz, Thursday, 31 March 2011 17:30 (thirteen years ago) link

once very cheerfully yelled to my pal "see you later, asshole!" as our parents were taking us home from preschool. my mom was not, uh, thrilled

― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Tuesday, March 17, 2009 4:54 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I am LOLing so hard here...

phantoms from a world gone by speak again the immortal tale: (Jenny), Thursday, 31 March 2011 18:57 (thirteen years ago) link

Yesterday, at preschool:

Teacher: So when you breathe in (mimes breathing in, shows her chest puff out), where does the air go?
Other Kid: Your stomach?
Teacher: No...
Ben: Oh! Your boobies!

schwantz, Thursday, 31 March 2011 19:57 (thirteen years ago) link

It's a wonder more babies don't get the hiccups.

Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 31 March 2011 20:00 (thirteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

"I'm a sassy pooper!"

you sure are, kid

The Everybody Buys 1000 Aerosmith Albums A Month Club (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 18:25 (twelve years ago) link

hahahahaha

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 18:31 (twelve years ago) link

Old People Say The Darndest Things would of been a good show

cold hands of monkeys on my heart (CaptainLorax), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 20:08 (twelve years ago) link

Would be called "Kind of LOL But Mostly Sad"

the wages of sin is about tree fiddy (WmC), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 20:10 (twelve years ago) link

Ava has started to convene twice-daily meetings in her bedroom where she is the mayor and she tells us her opinions and summarises recent events. She reverses the big armchair, clambers in, leans on a cushion and delivers her speech. It lasts about 20min.

Last night I got the lowdown on how practically everyone in her class had dressed on World Book Day (of course, on WBD itself she was totally unforthcoming about this - we had to wait until she rolled out the info) and "things I like about my sister". This included "things she makes from Lego - you can see an example of her work over there" and "her love for hippos". I also learned that the plush hippos are called "Spotius" and "Big Fat" or, alternatively, "Surrey Hike" and "Plantar Boardby".

"The next mayor meeting is at ONE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING and I need both you and Mummy to be there." Thankfully we had it at 7:15am instead.

Lulu has also been invited to participate. She mostly talks about her bunny and pulls hilarious faces.

Michael Jones, Thursday, 21 April 2011 09:56 (twelve years ago) link

What band's EP would look like this?

1. Spotius
2. Big Fat
3. Surrey Hike
4. Plantar Boardby

Evil Eau (dog latin), Thursday, 21 April 2011 09:59 (twelve years ago) link

Deerhunter

The Everybody Buys 1000 Aerosmith Albums A Month Club (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 21 April 2011 15:44 (twelve years ago) link

"things she makes from Lego - you can see an example of her work over there"

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 A V A <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Back up the lesbian canoe (Laurel), Thursday, 21 April 2011 15:52 (twelve years ago) link

also

"things I like about my sister . . . her love for hippos"

hysterical

show Lulu this picture of a mama and baby hippo - I bet she'd love it: http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/216392_10150179343042147_28896772146_6800898_746566_n.jpg

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Thursday, 21 April 2011 16:02 (twelve years ago) link

Haaa...Michael, that is fantastic.

calling planet smurf (sunny successor), Friday, 22 April 2011 08:34 (twelve years ago) link

Lulu was totally charmed by the hippo picture, btw!

Michael Jones, Friday, 22 April 2011 14:27 (twelve years ago) link

:D

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Friday, 22 April 2011 15:23 (twelve years ago) link

chill fuckin hippos

Some other race (nakhchivan), Friday, 22 April 2011 15:37 (twelve years ago) link

Playground exchange:

Other kid: I'm black, you're white!
Veronica: I'm white, you're black!
Other kid: I'm the Hulk!
Veronica: I'm Cinderella!

US race relations SOLVED

The Everybody Buys 1000 Aerosmith Albums A Month Club (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 26 April 2011 15:32 (twelve years ago) link

two weeks pass...

"what's happening, Pancho Villa?"

tbf I WAS wearing an oversized novelty sombrero

american thinker (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 11 May 2011 18:49 (twelve years ago) link

LOL

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 11 May 2011 18:59 (twelve years ago) link

Ben just said to Owen "I'm not mean, I'm just naughty."

schwantz, Thursday, 12 May 2011 04:03 (twelve years ago) link

honestly I think kids saying funny stuff is like the number three reason I would like to have kids

cop a cute abdomen (gbx), Thursday, 12 May 2011 04:09 (twelve years ago) link

Lulu is wearing her Powerpuff Girls T-shirt to bed.
L: I am the one with blonde hair, Ava is the one with a red bow, Mummy is the one with black hair.
Me: Who am I?
A: Maybe you're the writing underneath.
L: NO, NO, Daddy's the stars on my knickers!

Michael Jones, Saturday, 14 May 2011 07:32 (twelve years ago) link

HAHAHAHAAHA

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Saturday, 14 May 2011 07:33 (twelve years ago) link

IRL LOL.

Madchen, Saturday, 14 May 2011 07:34 (twelve years ago) link

mike = professor utonium, obviously

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/2b/Professor_Utonium_PPG.jpg/160px-Professor_Utonium_PPG.jpg

koogs, Saturday, 14 May 2011 08:33 (twelve years ago) link

A & L playing with Lego and figures on the landing upstairs...

L: "Who are they? Are they OK?"
A: "That's Ramshacklee, Ramshackala and Ramshackle. But their names don't matter - they've fallen off a 100-foot cliff."
L: "Are you going to bury them?"
A: "No, I'll wait for them to come alive again."
L: "Ok. I'm going SWIMMING! To feed the sharks with LOVELY GRASS!"

And so on. FOR HOURS.

Michael Jones, Saturday, 14 May 2011 10:11 (twelve years ago) link

That's exactly who I thought of.

Michael Jones, Saturday, 14 May 2011 10:19 (twelve years ago) link

Ramshacklee, Ramshackala and Ramshackle. But their names don't matter - they've fallen off a 100-foot cliff.

Sounds like the premise for an awesome television serial.

broodje kroket (dog latin), Saturday, 14 May 2011 13:14 (twelve years ago) link


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