Who's the Best-Looking Current Player?

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Sexiest Renaissance Man, Body + Brain: Mike Mussina (his degree is in economics I think)
Runnerup: Brad Ausmus

Sex on Six Legs: Zito-Hudson-Mulder

Man Stud Beauties: Carlos Delgado (best smile for sure), Brad Fullmer (hottest caveman), Troy Glaus, Jeff Bagwell, Albert Pujols

Model Beautiful: A-Rod, Jay Payton

Best Ass and Thighs Ever on a Mound:

http://mrwalto.tripod.com/kyle.html

Cute Cute Cute: Michael Barrett, Shawn Estes, Corey Patterson, Peter Bergeron, Marcus Giles, Neal Cotts

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 May 2004 14:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah, a lot of the younger female WS fans like Cotts. He's too young for me, plus he looks like he grew up two trailers down from William Ligue.

http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/images/players/mugshot/ph_425840.jpg

― Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 13 May 2004 14:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Cub shortstop and Mendoza impersonator Alex Gonzalez hasn't made a list? The man whose face once prompted Steve Stone to wax the oh-so-eloquent "it's tough to play shortstop without a face"???

― mattbot (mattbot), Thursday, 13 May 2004 15:17 (nineteen years ago) link

holy shit, point for mattbot. http://www.homeruncards.com/rookiecards/alex-gonzalez-cubs-rookie-card.shtml

― John (jdahlem), Thursday, 13 May 2004 15:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Yes, Alex-the-Cub Gonzalez belongs on this or any other list of good-looking people.

http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/profiles/players/5197.jpg

― Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 13 May 2004 15:32 (nineteen years ago) link

maybe he's too pretty

― Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 13 May 2004 15:37 (nineteen years ago) link

http://redsox.bostonherald.com/images//mannypoint05132004.jpg

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Thursday, 13 May 2004 15:56 (nineteen years ago) link

I resisted linking a porn fantasy some Canadian manwatcher wrote a few years back about Gonzalez, Shawn Green, Fullmer, and Barrett "having fun" in a deserted locker room...

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 13 May 2004 16:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Morbs, did you ever see this thread:

Homosexuality and baseball [LINKS TO NON-WORK SAFE IMAGES]

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 13 May 2004 16:18 (nineteen years ago) link

Paul Konerko ...so hot, he's got his own fangirl page.

http://www.angelfire.com/ct/konerko/images/konerko.jpg

old pic, but rrrrrowwwrr!

― Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 13 May 2004 16:22 (nineteen years ago) link

try again...
http://www.angelfire.com/ct/konerko/images/konerko.jpg

― Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 13 May 2004 16:24 (nineteen years ago) link

oh well, it's on the first page.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 13 May 2004 16:24 (nineteen years ago) link

no need to fight ladies - there's plenty of johnson to go round

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 13 May 2004 16:46 (nineteen years ago) link

ewwwww! get that off of here!

the homely thread is ----------> thataway

back to your regularly scheduled hotness ....

http://pages.ripco.net/~dymaxia/konerkohot.jpg

― Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 13 May 2004 16:52 (nineteen years ago) link

JT Snow is giving Konerko a run for the money in the fangirl swooning dept. Lookit how good JT is with the kids!

― Leeefuse 73 (Leee), Thursday, 13 May 2004 17:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Konerko doesn't look "hot" so much in that Reds uni as he does "windburned".

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 13 May 2004 17:46 (nineteen years ago) link

My wife thought Mike Piazza was hot until he went to the Mets, then he was dog food.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Friday, 14 May 2004 22:48 (nineteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Re Kyle Farnsworth's new scruff -- he CAN get hotter!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 18:14 (nineteen years ago) link

well, someone thinks shawn estes is pretty cute...

http://mlb.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/mlb/news/mlb_news.jsp?ymd=20040608&content_id=765815&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp

― higgins, Wednesday, 9 June 2004 19:38 (nineteen years ago) link

haha!

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 19:53 (nineteen years ago) link

that whole thing reminds of the first exchange b/w humphrey bogart and lauren bacall's sister in the big sleep.

am i wrong here?

― higgins, Wednesday, 9 June 2004 20:31 (nineteen years ago) link

So you're comparing an ump to Martha Vickers? "Yer cute."

Unlike Farnsy's untended stubble, Shawn doesn't need to be messin' that sweet babyface up with a vandyke.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 20:58 (nineteen years ago) link

three months pass...

In the absence of Farnsworth and Beckett from the playoffs, Brad Lidge should be designated to pitch without pants. Best mounds on the October mound!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Hands off that sweet, sweet, sweet Jeff Kent, girls.

― briania (briania), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

After this thread, I've always imagined/assumed that Blount looks like the Big Unit.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:45 (nineteen years ago) link

I've discovered that Cleveland's Grady Sizemore is my new thing.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Monday, 4 October 2004 17:54 (nineteen years ago) link

Now that Piazza's off her radar, the only player my wife mentions is "that hot center fielder for the Red Sox."

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 4 October 2004 18:36 (nineteen years ago) link

This girl I work with was all about Chipper Jones until I ruined him for her:

http://www.sjlevyphoto.com/photos/Jones-2_portrait_small.jpg

http://www.grudge-match.com/Images/carrottop.gif

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 4 October 2004 21:53 (nineteen years ago) link

you're a mad, mad, mad, mad genius

― John (jdahlem), Monday, 4 October 2004 21:56 (nineteen years ago) link

'we named the dog shea'

― cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 01:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Whoever the director of Atl-Hou was yesterday gave us generous dugout closeups of Bagwell, and I applaud your taste in big beautiful studs.

Mike Hampton has a really tasty body for a guy 5 feet tall.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 8 October 2004 13:09 (nineteen years ago) link

ok, i am starting to think that manny ramirez is totally cute.

― maura (maura), Friday, 8 October 2004 13:28 (nineteen years ago) link

"starting to think"

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 8 October 2004 13:45 (nineteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

I haven't noticed the Pujols at-bat "porn face" someone claimed to see, but the way Danny Haren goes all slack-jawed when he stares in for the sign is pretty hot.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 25 October 2004 13:27 (nineteen years ago) link

seven months pass...

Michael Barrett: shave that ridiculous thing off, beautiful.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 3 June 2005 13:44 (eighteen years ago) link

I was thinking the
same thing the other night, Morbs!
Also, get one tan.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 3 June 2005 14:29 (eighteen years ago) link

I've never really seen what was so overwhelmingly attractive about Barrett -- sure, he's good-looking, but Corey is still the cutest on the Cubs.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 3 June 2005 17:13 (eighteen years ago) link

ever seen that South Park where there's the Evil Cartman from a parallel universe, and he has a lil goatee thingee? yeah.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 3 June 2005 19:36 (eighteen years ago) link

that's from Spock / Star Trek...

Milwaukee SS J.J. Hardy may be the loveliest rookie.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 3 June 2005 20:24 (eighteen years ago) link

ten months pass...

"I haven't gotten any [fan mail from women]. I guess I'm underappreciated. Most of the girls that do cheer for me, I don't know if they can write because they're so young. I'm thinking once I'm 30, they'll all be out of high school then."

--White Sox reliever Neal Cotts, on his growing female following (Chicago Sun-Times)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 3 April 2006 16:16 (eighteen years ago) link

Bill Mueller.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 3 April 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

BIG PAPI

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 3 April 2006 16:38 (eighteen years ago) link

I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 3 April 2006 16:38 (eighteen years ago) link

White Sox reliever Neal Cotts

this girl i was dating a month ago and her room mate for that matter both had severe cases of the hotts for cotts. the room mates dad got her an autographed ball for hanukkah and there was talk of "licking cotts' ball."

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Monday, 3 April 2006 16:54 (eighteen years ago) link

http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/ap/20060403/capt.nys10104031600.nationals_mets_nys101.jpg

― maura (maura), Monday, 3 April 2006 20:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Tracer confused me! I was like, "Did I post something without remembering it?"

― c(''c) (Leee), Monday, 3 April 2006 21:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Pujols has the most obscene batting stance!

but my vote is for Ichiro.

― patita (patita), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 19:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Harden v Mussina tonight ... I'm moist already!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 19:25 (eighteen years ago) link

and I'll be there, in the flesh*!

*flesh = rain in this case.

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 19:33 (eighteen years ago) link

You're lucky I'm not out there next to you, with binoculars!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 19:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Skipping 80 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

yoanna see my loft?

― mookieproof, Tuesday, 1 May 2018 01:43 (five years ago) link

three months pass...

I hafta say shorthaired smiley Jake is pretty damn dreamboaty

.@SteveGelbs has jokes. "Jacob, how do you keep your focus with only eight runs of support?" 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/oXfkXDjgTt
— Anthony DiComo (@AnthonyDiComo) August 8, 2018

― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 10 August 2018 17:24 (five years ago) link

six months pass...

Shohei Ohtani’s impression of Brad Ausmus: “He’s a very good-looking guy.”

He paused, then added: “Of course, Mike Scioscia was very good-looking too.”
— Fabian Ardaya (@FabianArdaya) February 13, 2019

― mookieproof, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 19:11 (five years ago) link

folks the answer is clearly Eric Thames

― frogbs, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 19:20 (five years ago) link

eight months pass...

i hafta say Springer and Correa are absurdly beautiful

― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Monday, 28 October 2019 17:57 (four years ago) link

four months pass...

https://i.redd.it/5fk1sl60s1o41.jpg

― mookieproof, Saturday, 21 March 2020 22:10 (four years ago) link

issa hoss

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 22 March 2020 01:28 (four years ago) link

#jorts

― mookieproof, Sunday, 22 March 2020 02:12 (four years ago) link

six months pass...

I didn’t realize that Tyler Glasnow had Chalamet vibes

Game 5. #ALDS pic.twitter.com/7xCeaZG4Ww
— MLB (@MLB) October 9, 2020

― na (NA), Friday, 9 October 2020 21:48 (three years ago) link

Tyler Glasnow has a 12-pack, Chalamet does not

― brooklyn suicide cult (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 10 October 2020 18:10 (three years ago) link

eleven months pass...

wish morbs was here. to tell me what he thinks of tanner houck, among other things.

https://images2.minutemediacdn.com/image/upload/c_fill,w_720,ar_16:9,f_auto,q_auto,g_auto/shape/cover/sport/New-York-Yankees-v-Boston-Red-Sox-8086102dcc1b3b91f6672f2bf1f663c9.jpg

https://media.gettyimages.com/photos/tanner-houck-of-the-peoria-javelinas-pitches-against-the-surprise-at-picture-id1177646447?s=612x612

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 9 October 2021 21:23 (two years ago) link

was sure when i was watching the other night that his uniform number was 69 but sadly it's not

― Tracer Hand, Saturday, 9 October 2021 21:23 (two years ago) link

thank you for not posting alex verdugo

― mookieproof, Saturday, 9 October 2021 21:59 (two years ago) link

two years pass...

https://i.postimg.cc/SQc8VTtW/IMG-7734.jpg

By unpopular demand!

Matt Olson:

MLB made a Matt Olson Thirst Trap Tik Tok 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/3JNwuE2Vck
— Cody (@CodyRogers10) August 15, 2023

Every time I see Jason Heyward I’m like, why does nobody mention how handsome he is?
https://i.postimg.cc/rmMBRYdq/IMG-7737.jpg

Sorry about ittttt
https://i.postimg.cc/j5jrkFRZ/IMG-7738.jpg

Ofc Connor Wong
https://i.postimg.cc/GtKT1pNv/IMG-7740.jpg

― Roman Anthony gets on his horse (gyac), Saturday, 23 March 2024 22:01 (one month ago) link

idk about best looking but best sounding? there can be only one....

https://mktg.mlbstatic.com/redsox/audio/pronunciation-guide/ceddanne-rafaela.m4a

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 23 March 2024 22:05 (one month ago) link

You are wrong for this

― Roman Anthony gets on his horse (gyac), Saturday, 23 March 2024 22:07 (one month ago) link

Also lol @ you posting Tanner Houck above

― Roman Anthony gets on his horse (gyac), Saturday, 23 March 2024 22:07 (one month ago) link

there is a kind of lazy virility to him idk what to tell you if you don't see it

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 23 March 2024 22:11 (one month ago) link

Oh I don’t disagree he’s just such a goofy personality it offsets it a little

― Roman Anthony gets on his horse (gyac), Saturday, 23 March 2024 22:28 (one month ago) link

goofy because he doesn't gaf, even hotter!

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 23 March 2024 22:40 (one month ago) link

plus his name's "tanner houck" ffs

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 23 March 2024 22:40 (one month ago) link

Tanner Houck has a 3D mold of his fractured face on a chain pic.twitter.com/ml7gkQNyIc
— Rob Bradford (@bradfo) August 28, 2023

― Roman Anthony gets on his horse (gyac), Saturday, 23 March 2024 22:47 (one month ago) link

that’s a little bit more goth than i was expecting him to go

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 23 March 2024 22:50 (one month ago) link

A spinal tattoo is pretty hard

https://www.boston.com/sports/boston-red-sox/2023/04/20/tanner-houck-explains-red-sox-logo-tattoo-spine/

― Roman Anthony gets on his horse (gyac), Saturday, 23 March 2024 23:19 (one month ago) link

where does the last letter sit 👀

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 23 March 2024 23:29 (one month ago) link

🤨

― Roman Anthony gets on his horse (gyac), Saturday, 23 March 2024 23:36 (one month ago) link

Tyler Glasnow makes me feel a certain way and I want to grow out my hair again because of him

― H.P, Thursday, 4 April 2024 02:14 (two weeks ago) link

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