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jergïns, Saturday, 3 November 2007 08:49 (twelve years ago) link


jergïns, Saturday, 3 November 2007 09:24 (twelve years ago) link


There are a lot of different races in the world. They range from the truly ugly (whites and abbos) to the infinitely attractive (blacks and Asians). Though our genetic structure is 99% the same, there are still some massive fucking differences. The problems come when you try to organize these differences into categories. Arabs, northern and central Europeans, and West Africans, for example, are lactose tolerant, while Native Americans, abbos, Far Easterners, all other Africans, and Southern Europeans are lactose intolerant. Blacks and Europeans have arched fingerprints, Jews and Indonesians have looped fingerprints, and abbos have whorled ones.

Are races to be sorted by culture, physical features, geography, or blood type? Who is the smartest? Who is the weakest? Who has the nicest hair? Until now these questions were unanswerable. Here is the definitive guide to every race on earth.

52,000 years ago we were all Negroes. Then white people went north and Asians went to the Mongolian desert. White people became normal-looking because they needed to make the most of what little sun there was (humans get most of their vitamin D from the sun). Asians became squinty-eyed because it was so windy and bright in the desert they were squinting all the time. White people’s noses had to shrink because the big ones were getting frostbitten (wide nostrils are good near the equator because it’s easier to breathe the hot, humid air). Nobody knows why whites developed “spaghetti hair.” Some Asians went to Korea where their faces became less round and they grew taller and then some Koreans went to Japan where they became short and their features became even more angular (no idea why). A whole myriad of kind-of-white / kind-of-black people emerged all over the equator, but who knows how many?

Since then it’s gotten harder and harder to figure out. First Linnaeus, back in 1758, organized everyone in the world into: European, Asian, African, and American Indian. Then white people wanted to kick out Jews and Mediterranean types and everyone wanted the gays out of their races (maybe to form one big huge race?). Eventually, after Blumenbach in 1781 and Hooton in 1926, we ended up with nine definitive races. Here they are from best to worse.

Asians are pretty cool. Only half of them can handle booze but they all have perfect toes. Some of the older Chinese people can be really mean when you’re just asking a simple question but that’s just because they are a more confrontational culture. Like the Jews or the French they are just arguing and you shouldn’t take it personal. The Chinese refer to white people (Americans mostly) as “fat and sentimental,” which is basically true. Japanese people are basically the best race. The women are babes and the men are incredibly smart. Want a computer invented? Ask a Japanese guy. Want to see a babe? Ask a Japanese lady.

Koreans are pretty bad, especially the communists. Lots of war has made them ruthless, and it’s perfectly normal to have your ass whipped right off your body for talking in class. Note that the worst Asians are still better than the best Micronesians. One of the few bad things with Asians, especially Chinese, is that they think sleeping is an indulgence and drink tea 24 hours a day to stay awake and that leads to general craziness.

These guys are pretty smart and resilient (see Gandhi starring Ben Kingsley). The women are also babes (except for the occasional fuzzy one) and the guys make good doctors. Unlike black people they CAN sunburn, which is a problem because a lot of Canadian ones will go down to Mexico and act all tough and then get fried (they go kind of purple). They used to stink but they don’t anymore.

Blacks tend to have sickle-shaped blood cells, which is fine in hot temperatures where your blood is thin but can lead to trouble in colder places where the thicker blood cells will stick to each other and cause sickle-cell anemia. Another thing about them is that their heels tend to be right angles instead of bulging out at the back like normal.

In 1974 John R. Baker broke down the Africans into two categories: Sanids (Bushmen) and Negrids. This is too complicated. There are way too many different kinds to understand. In America, for example, there are the hard-working, educated ones that are even better than white people. They do all the good things that good white people do but they are less hokey and can party. The bad American ones are fucking scary and are rarely discussed. Abroad the same pattern follows but more exaggerated. In Africa the nice ones are so educated they invent entire cultures. The bad ones, however, would eat the bad American ones alive. If you’ve ever seen how fearless a Zimbabwean gas attendant is during the night shift in the heart of Queens you know what we’re getting at. They are used to watching lions eat their friends so it’s like “bring it on.”

The rest of the places—West Indies, Barbados, Jamaica—are just fun-loving jolly people with rich and interesting accents.

Incidentally, mulattos have an incredible metabolism. The same way a purebred dog is a weak one, mulattos take the best of being white and the best of being black and make a person that is smarter and fitter. The only drawback is the increased metabolism means more B.O. (see any Lenny Kravitz party).

Here’s another weird thing. They have this rule where if you have a drop of black blood you’re black. That means Arabs are black. However, Arabs are Semites like Jews, so Jews are black? They became white after moving to Europe so I guess they’re mulatto.

Mediterranean people like Italians are kind of mulatto too. There should be a new category here called HYBRIDS but fuck it.

These people used to be really cool but are basically fucked now. They used to only have to work 15 hours a week for food and shelter and therefore still love sleeping. Another interesting thing about them is that they have weird earwax. It is powdery and not waxy at all.
Soon there will be no American Indians because they will have been killed via disease and “culture smushing” by the white man (see bottom of chart).
Eskimos also fit into this category. They are capable of much lower temperatures than other races (duh).

These are basically Spanish Asians. That’s why they’re brown. Polynesians are the lightest of these tropical island people and Melanesians are almost black. So black, in fact, that they used to be considered abbos.
These three races include all those island people like Hawaiian and Seychelles people—the ones who wear hula skirts and can kill you with a blow dart. They are incredibly agile (note how all DMC champions are Philippino).

White people are a funny bunch. Many Asians will note, upon their arrival to America, that “white people smell like hamburger.” They did very well a few hundred years ago but are kind of over now. At best the good ones will own a lawn care company (or something) and like the Who, but they are drastically outnumbered by the bad ones. Unlike other races the bad ones fall into two groups. There are the rich ones: Jack Welch, Dick Cheney, and the like. These men would let the whole world sink into the sea if it meant another SUV for their daughter. The other kind is called white trash. They would sell their baby for crack no problem. Many use the phrase “good while it lasted” when discussing this group.

Not exactly killing shit as far as the babe population goes. Almost extinct thanks to white people, the abbos haven’t been doing well for about 500 years now. One weird characteristic about abbos is that they have this point in their life called a “walkabout” where, sometime around 18 years of age, they will just start walking and walking and walking. They leave all their stuff and start a new life when they get to wherever it is they end up walking to but they all do it and nobody knows why.


Heave Ho, Saturday, 3 November 2007 14:22 (twelve years ago) link


Heave Ho, Saturday, 3 November 2007 22:42 (twelve years ago) link

that was very helpful. i understand now

jergïns, Saturday, 3 November 2007 23:39 (twelve years ago) link


jergïns, Sunday, 4 November 2007 00:28 (twelve years ago) link


jergïns, Monday, 5 November 2007 01:14 (twelve years ago) link


jergïns, Monday, 5 November 2007 01:16 (twelve years ago) link


jergïns, Monday, 5 November 2007 03:52 (twelve years ago) link

Lesbian moms better than dads; Communist austerity good for health

Sébastien, Monday, 5 November 2007 13:41 (twelve years ago) link


Sébastien, Friday, 9 November 2007 01:22 (twelve years ago) link

^^^^who is that in the white shirt heave

roxymuzak, Friday, 9 November 2007 03:17 (twelve years ago) link

who the--

roxymuzak, Friday, 9 November 2007 17:56 (twelve years ago) link

Why I Love Bees:
A Case Study in Collective Intelligence Gaming

Jane McGonigal, PhD



As the leading edge of research, industry, politics, social innovation
and cultural production
increasingly seek to harness the wisdom of the crowd and the power of
the collective, it is urgent
that we create engaging, firsthand experiences of collective
intelligence for as wide and as
general a young audience as possible. Search and analysis games are
poised to become our best
tool for helping as many and diverse a population as possible develop an
interest and gain direct
experience participating in our ever-more collective network culture.

In Convergence Culture, Henry Jenkins considers the role that popular
culture should play in
cultivating collective intelligence. He argues: "Right now, we are
learning how to apply these
new participatory skills through our relation to commercial
entertainment... for two reasons: on
the one hand, because the stakes are so low; and on the other, playing
with popular culture is a
lot more fun than playing with more serious matters."94 Jenkins predicts
that as a society, we
eventually we evolve our collective intelligence interests in the
direction of real-world, rather
than fictional, concerns. However, I am suggesting with this case study
that for young students
learning about CI for the first time, popular culture and online
entertainment will remain the
most effective spaces for learning how real-world massively
collaborative participation works.

In Get There Early, technologist Bob Johansen argues that immersive
gaming can prepare
players for future changes in network culture. He writes: "Immersion
helps get a feeling for
what's possible. Immersion helps you try out different ways of acting,
so you can develop your
own agility." Indeed, as I have documented with this I Love Bees case
study, the immersive
aspects of search and analysis gaming provide a visceral, first-person,
hands-on experience of
collaborative cognition, networked cooperation and real-time
coordination. Players develop a
familiarity with collective intelligence techniques through direct
experience. They gain
confidence and fluency in emerging technologies and CI strategies by
playing with new network
platforms and multi-user applications in increasingly complex scenarios.
Search and analysis
games, with their iterative real-time redesign, are perfectly structured
to provide such scaffolding
challenges-a key aspect to mastering new modes of problem-solving and
cultural participation.
As massively-social experiences, search and analysis games are also
especially well-suited to
encouraging meta-level reflection on the skills and processes that
players use to meet new
challenges. Being a part of a massively multi-player game community
means sharing your
thoughts and experiences with your fellow players. Finally, and perhaps
most importantly, as
learning systems, collective gaming encourages risk-taking learning in a
low-risk setting. As
Johansen observes: "Learners get to dive in and learn in a first person
way, without playing for
keeps until they are ready."

I want to conclude this case study with a letter from an I Love Bees
player, for I believe the
gamers' personal experience speaks best for itself. Several months after
I Love Bees ended, I
received an email from "Rose", a mother who played the game with her
14-year-old son, a high
school student and an avid videogamer. In the letter, she described the
game as a powerful
tutorial in networked collaboration for them both, one that made them
feel excited about
participating in collective intelligences in the future. She writes:

It is really important to me that you, and other people, understand the
that alternate reality gaming has made in our way of thinking. It has
affected our attitudes about what is possible. The game for me has been
gathering a first hand knowledge of how a large community can function,
including the role of technology. I know that large scale communities
can work
and be extraordinarily effective. I am not afraid of the complexities.95


I Love Bees, director Elan Lee, lead writer Sean Stewart, technology
lead Jim Stewartson,
community lead Jane McGonigal (Emeryville, California: 42 Entertainment,
July - November

Halo 2, director Joseph Staten, executive producer Pete Parsons, art
director Marcus Lehto
(Redmond, Washington: Microsoft Game Studios and Bungie Game Studio,

Sébastien, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 04:08 (twelve years ago) link


jergïns, Wednesday, 14 November 2007 17:29 (twelve years ago) link


Heave Ho, Wednesday, 14 November 2007 17:31 (twelve years ago) link


Heave Ho, Friday, 16 November 2007 11:41 (twelve years ago) link


Mr. Que, Friday, 16 November 2007 19:15 (twelve years ago) link


jergïns, Friday, 23 November 2007 01:49 (twelve years ago) link


Crêpe, Friday, 23 November 2007 11:23 (twelve years ago) link


Crêpe, Saturday, 24 November 2007 21:29 (twelve years ago) link

thin wheat

jergïns, Saturday, 24 November 2007 21:48 (twelve years ago) link


jergïns, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 09:08 (twelve years ago) link


I am Robocop, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 20:35 (twelve years ago) link


Huwa Hu, Thursday, 29 November 2007 23:06 (twelve years ago) link

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2138/2074511541_38d27d726a_m.jpg people who aren't grady

Heave Ho, Friday, 30 November 2007 03:45 (twelve years ago) link


▒█▄█ ▄▄ ▒█▄█, Friday, 30 November 2007 16:19 (twelve years ago) link

http://flickr.com/people/16909920@N06/ fuk'd

Crêpe, Tuesday, 4 December 2007 23:50 (twelve years ago) link

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/33/95021558_d872be4c25.jpg i know where this is supposed to go but can't bother looking it up

Heave Ho, Thursday, 6 December 2007 07:44 (twelve years ago) link


Heave Ho, Friday, 7 December 2007 18:43 (twelve years ago) link


Heave Ho, Friday, 7 December 2007 21:13 (twelve years ago) link


Heave Ho, Friday, 7 December 2007 23:13 (twelve years ago) link

pure evil http://www.reallybored.net/videos/College-Girl-Shaved-While-Passed-Out

Heave Ho, Sunday, 9 December 2007 02:11 (twelve years ago) link

Many years ago, I heard someone say: "If you and I are standing in gasoline up to our ankles and you have 3 matches and I have 4, which of us is more

- Zen Clown

Heave Ho, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 04:59 (twelve years ago) link

Hassle free, a biscuit made from cannibals, the people who make these die almost every time. as genial as with biscuit as with fowl, cannibals always become unusual gourmands with exacting tastes. you can now assume these tastes without the years of hard work that went into cultivating them simply by ordering these delightful biscuits -- you'll fare better once they're in you, and they're so, so, so, so, just so. Stop sitting by yourself at the chapel, bring a plate of these delightful biscuits made from cannibals. Don't ask where they're from, rest assured -- they're from somewhere else.

The pointy corners of these biscuits allow for greater biscuit area submersion when dunking one in blood. Or tea. Did I say blood?

A word about manufacturing. First he becomes a biscuit, and then they eat him. This is one of the most powerful images in all of colonial discourse we're selling tonight on the Chopping Channel, graduate students the world over have already done the thinking for you on this one, all you need to do is enjoy.

Why waste your time laughing at those young people still shocked & outraged by disclosures of sweatshops, when you could be eating a cannibal biscuit.

Milton Parker, Friday, 21 December 2007 02:30 (twelve years ago) link


Heave Ho, Saturday, 22 December 2007 05:34 (twelve years ago) link

Wounded Iraqi camera

Sébastien, Monday, 24 December 2007 07:01 (twelve years ago) link


generalmills, Thursday, 27 December 2007 16:50 (twelve years ago) link


gr8080, Sunday, 30 December 2007 20:26 (twelve years ago) link

two weeks pass...


jergïns, Thursday, 17 January 2008 22:54 (twelve years ago) link


Sébastien, Tuesday, 22 January 2008 04:09 (twelve years ago) link

you had me at "large rotating fangs"

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 13 May 2019 06:22 (one year ago) link


Daniel_Rf, Thursday, 16 May 2019 17:52 (one year ago) link



― pplains, Friday, April 26, 2019 7:16 AM

my text

punning display, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 23:22 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

B b code

If I were a POLL I’d be Zinging (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 22 June 2019 03:25 (eleven months ago) link


Milton Parker, Monday, 1 July 2019 05:55 (eleven months ago) link


Milton Parker, Monday, 1 July 2019 05:56 (eleven months ago) link

one month passes...


Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 1 August 2019 16:16 (ten months ago) link

two months pass...


“Mount Trashmore,” an eight-story dump, contains almost every piece of garbage discarded on Grand Cayman since it went all-in on financial services in the 1960s.

johnny crunch, Friday, 18 October 2019 14:10 (seven months ago) link

two months pass...

what the fuck

Here's a lost scene from the movie Mac & Me in which Eric was shown getting shot in his wheelchair in full which was edited out for western audiences. This was only discovered recently when it was still found to be on the Japanese home media release pic.twitter.com/DopO2Uf42g

— Art of Lost and Cancelled Media (@ArtofLostandCan) January 4, 2020

hot nuts (small) (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 13:28 (four months ago) link

paul rudd, you know what you have to do.

and yes biz gazzara, i know you are paul rudd

But guess what? Nobody gives a toot!😂 (Karl Malone), Monday, 6 January 2020 15:45 (four months ago) link

god i wish

'Sly Cooper' Movie Breaking Into Theaters In 2016 (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:47 (four months ago) link

lol, that was EXACTLY my thought

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 6 January 2020 17:23 (four months ago) link

you wish i was paul rudd too?

'Sly Cooper' Movie Breaking Into Theaters In 2016 (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 19:10 (four months ago) link

yes, every night before i go to bed

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 6 January 2020 19:23 (four months ago) link

god willing one day we’ll both be blessed

'Sly Cooper' Movie Breaking Into Theaters In 2016 (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 20:02 (four months ago) link

so as not to clog up bands whose members' solo projects did not precipitate a break-up or split but wau

Church records in bold, mixed with side projects led by a Church member or featuring them doing their main thing for a full project. Margot Smith albums skipped bcz they usually have most of the Church on them. Kilbey projects noted with an asterisk. No digital-only releases or live albums or demo collections.

Of Skins And Heart 1981
Too Fast For You 2x7 1981
The Blurred Crusade 1982
Sing-Songs EP 1982
Seance 1983
Remote Luxury EP 1984
Persia EP 1984
Heyday 1985
Steven Kilbey ‎– This Asphalt Eden 3-song 7" 1985
Steve Kilbey ‎– Unearthed 1986
Marty Willson-Piper - In Reflection 1987
Peter Koppes ‎– When Reason Forbids - A Requiem EP 1987
Steve Kilbey ‎– The Slow Crack 1987
Steve Kilbey ‎– Earthed 1987
Starfish 1988
Damien Lovelock ‎– It's A Wig Wig Wig Wig World 1988
Peter Koppes ‎– Manchild & Myth 1988
Marty Willson-Piper - Art Attack 1988
Curious (Yellow) ‎– I Am Curious * EP 1988
Peter Koppes ‎– From The Well - 1989
Marty Willson-Piper - Rhyme 1989
Hex s/t * 1989
Steve Kilbey ‎– Transaction EP 1989
Jules Shear ‎– The Third Party 1989 (MWP)
Gold Afternoon Fix 1990
Steve Kilbey ‎– Remindlessness 1990
Hex - Vast Halos * 1990
The Deadly Hume ‎– The Hokey Pokey 7" 1990
Curious (Yellow) ‎– Charms & Blues * 1990
Steve Kilbey ‎– Narcosis EP 1991
Steve Kilbey ‎– Narcosis + EP (rel. 1997)
Steve Kilbey ‎– Narcosis + More EP (rel. 2004)
Jack Frost - Jack Frost 1991
All About Eve ‎– Touched By Jesus 1991
Priest = Aura 1992
Marty Willson-Piper - Spirit Level 1992
All About Eve ‎– Ultraviolet 1992 (MWP)
Seeing Stars - Seeing Stars 1993 (rel. 1997, MWP)
Sometime Anywhere 1994
Somewhere Else 1994
Fake s/t * 1994
Stephen Cummings ‎– Falling Swinger * 1994
Jack Frost - Snow Job 1995
The Well ‎– Water Rites 1995
Kev Carmody ‎– Images & Illusions * 1995
Magician Among The Spirits 1996
Stephen Cummings ‎– Escapist * 1996
The Refo:mation - Pharmakoi/Distance-Crunching Honchos with Echo Units 1997
Steve Kilbey & Russell P. Kilbey ‎– Gilt Trip 1997
Hologram Of Baal 1998
Peter Koppes - Love Era / Irony 1998
Cinerama ‎– Va Va Voom 1998 (MWP)
A Box Of Birds 1999
Tyg's In Space s/t 1999
Marty Willson-Piper - Hanging Out In Heaven 2000
Pennie Lennon ‎– Journeys * 2000
After Everything Now This 2001
Steve Kilbey ‎– Dabble 2001
Parallel Universe 2002
Peter Koppes ‎– Simple Intent 2002
Forget Yourself 2003
Steve Kilbey ‎– Freaky Conclusions 2003
Noctorum ‎– Sparks Lane 2003 (MWP)
Beside Yourself 2004
Isidore s/t * 2004
Isidore EP * 2004
Jammed 2004
El Momento Descuidado EP-ish 2004
Back With Two Beasts 2005
Uninvited, Like The Clouds 2005
The Saints ‎– Nothing Is Straight In My House 2005
Gilt Trip ‎– Egyptian Register * 2005
Blank & Jones with Steve Kilbey ‎– Revealed CD5 2005
The Woodenelves ‎– Trips Between Worlds 2006
Noctorum ‎– Offer The Light 2006 (MWP)
El Momento Siguiente EP-ish 2007
Mimesis ‎– Art Imitating Life * 2007
Marty Willson-Piper - Nightjar 2008
Steve Kilbey ‎– Painkiller 2008
Shriek OST 2009
Untitled #23 2009
Pangaea EP 2009
Operetta EP 2009
Deadman's Hand EP (rel. 2010)
Coffee Hounds 2xA 2009
Steve Kilbey ‎– Art, Man + Technology 2009
Steve Kilbey & Martin Kennedy ‎– Unseen Music Unheard Words 2009
GB3 / Steve Kilbey ‎– Damaged/Controlled 2010
Hammock ‎– Asleep In The Downlights EP 2011
Noctorum ‎– Honey Mink Forever 2011 (MWP)
Steve Kilbey and Ricky Maymi ‎– David Neil 'The Wilderness Years' 2011
Steve Kilbey & Martin Kennedy ‎– White Magic 2011
Steve Kilbey / Ricky Maymi / Adrian Hoffmann / Shaun Hoffmann ‎– Wilderness Years 2011
Pocket feat. Steve Kilbey ‎– Hear In Noiseville 12" 2011
Isidore ‎– Life Somewhere Else * 2012
Starling ‎– Semaphore * 2012
Steve Kilbey ‎– Garage Sutra 2012
Steve Kilbey & Martin Kennedy ‎– You Are Everything 2013
Steve Kilbey & Martin Kennedy ‎– Songs From The Real World (Commissioned Songs) 2013
Steve Kilbey ‎– The Idyllist 2013
Further / Deeper 2014
Steve Kilbey & Martin Kennedy ‎– Songs From The Real World Vol 2 (Commissioned Songs) 2014
Steve Kilbey ‎– Miscellanaea (Whispers In The Static) 2014
Martin Kennedy With All India Radio And Steve Kilbey ‎– The Rare Earth OST 2014
Steve Kilbey & Martin Kennedy ‎– Songs From The Real World Vol 3 (Commissioned Songs) 2015
KilbeyKennedy ‎– Inside We Are The Same * 2015
HuDost & Steve Kilbey ‎– The Word Is... 2015
HuDost & Steve Kilbey ‎– The Instrumental Word 2015
Speed Of The Stars s/t * 2016
Man Woman Life Death Infinity 2017
Steve Kilbey & Martin Kennedy ‎– Glow And Fade 2017
Steve Kilbey ‎– Sydney Rococo 2018
Steve Kilbey / Gareth Koch ‎– Lost At Sea / Broken Toys 2xA 2019
Kate Ceberano, Steve Kilbey & Sean Sennett - The Dangerous Age 2020

don't care didn't ask still clappin (sic), Wednesday, 15 January 2020 13:19 (four months ago) link

two months pass...

The experimental setup. For clarity, the trombone and the mirror used to film the front and side views of the lip motion are not shown.

los blue jeans, Thursday, 19 March 2020 13:02 (two months ago) link

i want to know more about this experiment

Karl Malone, Thursday, 19 March 2020 14:41 (two months ago) link


Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 19 March 2020 15:11 (two months ago) link

it's not quite right, but I want to say, roughly, that I feel now like everyone else feels normally and I feel normally how everyone else feels now. I love the lockdown.

ogmor, Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:54 (two months ago) link

one month passes...

By Francois Vogel pic.twitter.com/cYjB1FhCn8

— Psychedelic Art (@VisuallySt) May 11, 2020

Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 13 May 2020 02:08 (three weeks ago) link

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