The Best Of The 50 Worst Rock-n-Roll Albums Of All Time

That one just isn't even justifiable as a pick for this

Queen II is one of the best records released by anyone

ELP made many, many worse records than Tarkus.

um...aqualung? queen II?? unforgettable fire??? the mind boggles

I like that Moody Blues album. A lot.

I'm not a Bon Jovi fan but surely all their other albums are worse than Slippery When Wet.

Reed, Lou - Metal Machine Music

Stopped reading the list after this. Choice made.

Randomly idiotic and antagonizing for the sake of antagonization, why many contribute to ILM less and less.

There's a couple things wrong with Self Portrait, mainly the inclusion of two live tracks, but that's all. I move.

xpost nath yeah, nearly voted that one but that often gets big votes round here.

fuck that asshole I'm voting for Donovan

very eloquent. well done.

I do my best.

Randomly idiotic and antagonizing for the sake of antagonization, why many contribute to ILM less and less.

I don't know about that, George--the book was at the very least amusing at the time, and a poll thread based on same is certainly worthy of discussion.

My vote goes to Donovan. And yeah, even though I can imagine wimpophobics and people allergic to good, silly fun hatin' on that particular record (and Donovan in general), that doesn't mean we should let them off the hook so easily.

He's not even that wimpy, and on some tracks his backing band is LED ZEPPELIN.

Right. "Season of the Witch" and "Hurdy Gurdy Man" rule!

Actually they say Donovan was lying about the other Zep dudes being on HGM, and that it was really just John Paul Jones, but print the legend, etc.

i can't think of anyone who'd allow themselves to feel antagonised over such a harmless thread as this

Donovan

The only thing I own some tracks from is Nick Lowe, and good tracks they are.

Metal Machine Music has become a straw man for lazy critics. It'll come in first or second in this poll.

It is indisputably Bonzo on "Atlantis" and "Hurdy Gurdy Man."

Guterman is very much part of the Dave marsh school of crits: to him, prog bands and Queen, among other things, was the stuff that Springsteen was supposed to destroy forever. Springsteen was supposed to restore the correct emphasis onto proper American music etc etc.

I don't like the term, but this list practically self-identifies as 'rockist'. Can we please come up with another one for post-1980 music? Preferably starring K-Fed?

Or one that includes both pre- and post-1980 music, and doesn't mince about in such a crass, favouritist manner?

that doors record seems particularly rancid

Can we please come up with another one for post-1980 music?

But there's quite a bit of post-1980 music up there already: Milli Vanilli, CSNY, ABWH, Roger Waters, Stones, Beach Boys, Starship, Bruce Willis, REO Speedwagon, Ringo Starr, Elvis Costello, Bowie, Nick Lowe, Tony Sheridan, U2.

Or did I totally misunderstand your question?

And the Doors record wasn't released until 1983.

Hmm. A lot of those are pre-1980's bands that went on too long, which doesn't count as true post-1980 music IMO. Besides, I'll have you at post-1990. The list is inherently rockist.

Oh no argument on that last point.

It is indisputably Bonzo on "Atlantis" and "Hurdy Gurdy Man."

I read this as "indisputably Bono."

Guterman is very much part of the Dave marsh school of crits: to him, prog bands and Queen, among other things, was the stuff that Springsteen was supposed to destroy forever. Springsteen was supposed to restore the correct emphasis onto proper American music etc etc.

Dead OTM. And yet some of the pomposities of prog and Queen were very much present in Springsteen.

I had to vote for Bon Jovi--seems like some serious playa hating--just picking an album that was massively popular a few years before the book came out. If it were written today there'd be no way it would make the list--it's place probably taken by Avril or Britney.

I'm not a Bon Jovi fan but surely all their other albums are worse than Slippery When Wet.

That's what I don't get about this list. I like Tull OK (and voted for Aqualung over that wonderful Yes album). But even if I didn't, I can't imagine how Aqualung would be anyone's pick for their worst album! It's not even the proggiest. Also, the sentence he quotes seems pretty straightforward to me.

Unforgettable Fire, people! That's U2's best record for crying out loud.

2. Reed, Lou - Metal Machine Music
Capturing a sequence of squawks, screeches, and squeals, Reed uses no instruments, just electronic effects

Well, that's not really true, is it? I heard somewhere that he set up several guitars next to amps to get the foundational sounds, and only then used electronic treatments (namely speeding up, slowing down, and reversing tapes). In any case, I actually quite like MMM. But yea, it's true: Metal Machine Music has become a straw man for lazy critics.

And, yea, Unforgettable Fire? I'm not a big U2 fan but I think that's a good album, possibly their best, and in any case they definitely put out much worse stuff than that. Europe '72 is also fairly good, again you could just look at Shakedown Street or any of the other crap GD albums that are far, far worse than Europe '72. There is a lot of crap on that list but there are a good amount of decent albums on there, too.

I love Live Killers, so Jimmy and Owen can go slather themselves in each other's spooge and FELCH RIGHT OFF!

Also, you have to be a true jackass to disrespect The Shaggs.

Well, he sort of doesn't, in the description, so he just about gets away with it.

Picking live albums is for pussies.

Well, his worst rock and rollers of all time were: Macca, Phil Collins, Duran Duran (?), Billy Joel (the winner).

I love this book, it's like the definitive bathroom book. Their writing is viciously funny, especially about records I like (a bunch on the list). What's great is that they take very few cheap shots---Milli Vanilli is one, but there's not (m)any more. Their list of 33 1/3 rules for rock records is hilarious: my personal favorite is "Never put a children's choir on a record ("You Can't Always Get What You Want" is the only exception). I think they refer to Mike and the Mechanics' "The Living Years" here.

Anyway their opinions are ridiculous (hence the hilarity) and I vote for Europe '72, a great record, but pretty representative of what rubs folks the wrong way about the Dead. That's what these guys were going for: find records that are representative of something broader (usually an otherwise respected artist) and pick on what they thought was the worst of that. Why bother messing with "Go To Heaven"?

50. U2 - Unforgettable Fire
They think they are the most important band in the world, and sometimes they are. On The Unforgettable Fire, they don't even come close.

See, I agree with the other two (three?) commenters just above -- I think if there's any point at which U2 came close to being an "important band," it was on this record, which is easily their best -- and that's no small feat for a band that also released War, the Joshua Tree, Achtung Baby and Zooropa in succession.

Unforgettable Fire counts "Bad," "Wire," and "Indian Summer Sky" among its tracks -- three of my fave songs by the band. These guys are high.

tossup between Metal Machine and Slippery When Wet.

there's some other decent records on that list too.

you have to really hate the dead to put Europe '72 on that list. i'm boycotting this on account

QUEEN II

So this list is half easy cheap shots and half "OOOOOH LOOKIE ME." bullshit controversy attempts.

feh.

The list's one weirdoodledum cack of a wot-knot, of course.
:)

Having just one vote, mine goes to Song Cycle.

This list is pathetic. Most of these albums are at least decent, and are listed purely because they're by reputable bands not performing up to their previous standard. Nobody has the guts to put together a real list of the worst albums because it means spending oodles of time flipping through dollar vinyl for stuff that would never, ever be put out on CD. I guess it's more fun to take shots at easy targets.

Also, "Song Cycle" is great, "Metal Machine Music" is great, Donovan is great (seriously, wtf is his greatest hits album doing here?), "Slippery When Wet" is good fun.

Bashing "Aqualung", America, and "Tales from Topographic Oceans" is just cheap anti-frat boy sniping ... which I can respect, I guess.

How is Aqualung in any way 'frat boy'?

The inclusion of Donovan is just bizarre.

I'm voting for Slippery When Wet though. It has three classic, powerhouse singles, and only very, very lame people would (pretend to) dislike Livin' on a Prayer.

I'm slightly surprised that teh compilers, 'witty' and 'controversial' as they seem to believe they are, didn't include any Status Quo or ZZ Top in that list.

agreed Donovan is the total WTF for inclusion on this list. Easily top of the pack here, and I just bought a 2-CD comp of his so *nyah* to the haterz

yeah i was surprised to see queen II on the list. i've never heard that album, but i mean, it's queen in the 70s how bad can it be?

Various Artists - 70's Hits: Great Records of the Decade - Original Recordings, Vol. 1

Seems like cheating to include some generic comp like this

Has anyone actually heard the Bruce Willis album...?

Yeah, I hardly remember BAD at all. Really liked Julien Temple's Strummer doc, btw.

Almost exactly a year ago (8/3/21) I said this on Twitter:

CUT THE CRAP is as good as any other Clash album, and better than some. Their whole discography is a goddamn mess, and as a strip-it-to-the-bone, fuck-the-pop-charts record, it more than does the job. The guitar sound is ugly as shit, but in a really interesting way, and when you combine that with the Big Black-ish drum machine, the random stabs of ultra-80s synth, and the gang vocals, Strummer was actually really onto something. People who don't like CUT THE CRAP are too attached to the mythology of four dudes in a room makin' rock 'n' roll. Listen to it side by side with the first Big Audio Dynamite album, and wise the fuck up.

I love the first BAD album, btw, and like the second and third quite a bit too. I have no use for anything after that, though.

Is Jones the only or dominant vocalist in BAD? Don't know if I could get into that.

Well done unperson, I agree with all that

That self-titled Byrds album is pretty good. The Gene Clark songs are particularly nice. I suspect "No Other" was not quite the cult record it is now and these authors would have called it crappy and overblown back in '91.

I love This Is Big Audio Dynamite and I love Cut the Crap. Together they really form a blueprint for the collision-y 'Clash meets Public Enemy halfway' bands to follow in ensuing years.

CTC is also a lot of fun if thought of as the 'pop' As the Veneer of Democracy Starts to Fade.

I've written about Cut the Crap before but only in eight paragraphs. I'm gonna develop it into a proper review sometime soon I reckon

Yes to Big Audio Dynamite -- also the second one, with many lyrics co-written with Joe. I had a bootleg of an early Joe Strummer + Latino Rockabilly War album where they covered a few of the songs and dedicated them "to the boys in Big Odio Dynmaite"

I do think Megatop Phoenix is their best, though.

I gotta give that one another spin. I remember the first track being great.

The album template feels strangely prescient of Foxbase Alpha to me bcuz mix of house-informed modern London songs interconnected with found-sound-ish collages.

Will check it out with that in mind. I always thought late Clash responded to hip hop in a super interesting way. Not only Magnificent 7/Radio Clash, but all the drum machiney stuff on the Combat Rock b-sides. Mick with the synth drums at Bonds Casino, etc. Love all of that.

I've just been listening to Goodbye Cruel World, and I have a tough time imagining either a Costello hater or a disenchanted Costello lover calling it among the worst of all time. It's mostly weak songs mostly poorly produced, but just a couple of notches below Punch the Clock.
Cut the Crap is a collage of the worst bits of punk and Frankie Goes to Hollywood, which doesn't preclude a couple of good songs from being included.

Goodbye Cruel World is pretty good. He has worse albums to come, albeit the other side of this book.

Can we poll the worst 'worst album' lists? Q's mid-00s version is particularly witless.

I actually with Guterman's argument that Goodbye Cruel World is a pretty good batch of songs that's simply arranged and produced either poorly or haphazardly. I think "Love Field" manages to work pretty well, but even the live solo performances from 1984 are better. Wish I could link to it, but it's the one that's just Elvis on an electric piano.

*actually agree

I feel like Costello's made worse albums since, but GCW is the one most fans can agree one. Like you still have fans championing Mighty Like a Rose and The Juliet Letters.

argh, *agree on

Like you still have fans championing Mighty Like a Rose and The Juliet Letters

Hell yeah you do

I just listened to Cut the Crap for the first time ever, thanks thread! It's nowhere near as bad as I'd been led to believe. I'll even give it a few more spins soon. It's maybe missing some hookier songwriting - perhaps those will sink in later - and the production is kind of a kitchen sink mess, a la Sandinista, but as unperson said in a really interesting way.

Rhodes had no idea what he was doing but that's why it works and why the hyperpop etc kids love it :)

Like "Dictator" is always pinned up for being the atonal headrush that it is but what about "We are the Clash" with its unrelated solos for guitar, synths and bongos all happening at the same time, or "Are You Red...Y" where the main synth bit arrives deliciously a whole bar too late?

FWIW, Xgau gave Cut the Crap a B+. He also gave Goodbye Cruel World a B+. Just to confirm, he does indeed consider a B+ to be a good grade.

wild to see those Yes, ELP, Jethro Tull, & Moody Blues albums on there - like sure I get why people don't like 'em but this was published in 1991 and all 4 groups had made way worse music since

I think the intro stated that they made the effort to include more high profile releases - like albums that are the most disappointing in terms of expectations or possibly more deserving of worse reputations.

i found the concept and the execution of the 50 worst book annoying and silly and then i read the essay by his widow and was moved and actually quite upset -- a little bcz i was born two years before him so that's too young to go but also just anyway

Greil Marcus published a harsh critique of that book in his column, and I'm sure Guterman saw that. Somewhere on Guterman's old website, he sounds regretful when he mentions that his "best records" book sold much less than the "worst records" book - he already made it clear that he wrote the "best records" book in response to the other one after having second thoughts. It's still probably the book he's best known for, and it's almost certain he wasn't very happy about that.

Anyway, it is very sad what happened. It's very chilling too - it may have been a lot of things happening at once, but I feel the same situation could happen to almost any ordinary person, and it just makes life seem that much more vulnerable. It doesn't have to be a single catastrophic event, life can just progress in a bad way and it may be too much for most people to handle.

Yes---her memory piece is sad, but not depressing for me, though I def know where she's coming from, but every lucid, measured, observant, disclosed word seems essential, if there is such a thing: beautiful, anyway. Plainly poetic.

I haven't looked at it in years, but his Sex Pistols book w/Noel Monk was formative for me.