Lets Talk About King Missile and the Dead Milkmen

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As for King Missile, I'm not sure I ever even heard "Detachable Penis", and nobody I know owns any of their records; so: ?

Then search e.g. "Gary and Melissa", "I Wish", "Scotland", "Jesus Was Way Cool", "Cheesecake Truck", "To Walk Among the Pigs"...

But more for the words than for the music really, I suppose.

OK then, I agree, "Scotland" ist just silly.

OleM (OleM), Monday, 11 October 2004 19:15 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

("Scotland" ist just silly.

Warum hab' ich plötzlich Deutsch geschrieben?)

OleM (OleM), Monday, 11 October 2004 19:16 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Eat Your Paisley is not nearly as solid as Big Lizard or Metaphysical Graffiti or Beelzebubba, but it has "The Thing That Only Eats Hippies" on it, which is one of the best songs of all time.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 11 October 2004 19:18 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

"real men" by john s. hall & kramer. i really like this record, lots of short tracks, johns daft monologues over the top of samples of mozart, nwa, ravi shankar, casio drum beats etc. don't know how available it is, but if you see a copy you should buy it.

zappi (joni), Monday, 11 October 2004 19:37 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i saw the milkmen with the Ziggy and the wailers once. second hand smoke was never better

kephm (kephm), Monday, 11 October 2004 19:40 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Fluting on the Hump is still, somewhat surprisingly, really really funny. I mean, there's "Sensitive Artist":
"I stopped watching TV when I was six months old because it was so boring and stupid..."
"I don't go to recitals anymore, because my hearing is too sensitive, and I don't go to art galleries anymore because there are people there and I can't deal with people because they don't understand me. I stay home, reading books that are beneath me, and working on my work, which no one understands."

Or "Take Stuff from Work":
"I took a whole desk from the last place I worked. They never noticed, and it looks great in my apartment."

Or "Dick," where the protagonist gets a job offer while masturbating to Wheel of Fortune, and he tells them he'll call them back, because "...he needed to c*m more than he needed a job." (EJACULAAAATION!)

Other releases are patchy, but really, people: Fluting on the Hump.

Ernest P. (ernestp), Monday, 11 October 2004 20:59 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Jesus was way cool
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool

If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool

He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool

He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool

No wonder there are so many Christians

Earl Nash (earlnash), Monday, 11 October 2004 23:22 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

'Jesus Was Way Cool' and 'Cheesecake Truck' seconded.

Sasha (sgh), Monday, 11 October 2004 23:45 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Whatabout "Wuss" and "Sensitive Artist"?

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 11 October 2004 23:46 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I had the 2am to 6am show right before the sunday morning gospel program on KCSB and one of my favorite memories was playing 'jesus was way cool' as a segueway into his show. He let the piano outro fade all the way out before starting his theme music, then turned around and said to me in a thoughtful voice, 'That was a wonderful song'.

(Jon L), Monday, 11 October 2004 23:52 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

('him' being a minister who's last name I have forgotten, it's been 14 years or so)

(Jon L), Monday, 11 October 2004 23:53 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Well between The Dead Milkmen, King Missle and Ween you could make a single disc AIFF-format greatest hits CD that would be fun for about a week.

and heavy on the Milkmen,


hector savage, Monday, 11 October 2004 23:56 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

dead milkmen -- for name-dropping crystal ship and celebrating the jersey shore (only they did it better than that other jersey dude, but i prefer seaside and wildwood to asbury park and keansburg anyway).

Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 03:06 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Ah, "Sensitive Artist." I've sung that song to myself more times than I can count. "I AM SENSITIVE!!!!"

Dead Milkmen in the end, though. Big Lizard in My Backyard is and remains a perfect album.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 03:10 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i still put on king missile (atlantic) from time to time.

the dishwasher
love is...
the commercial
(somebody should shut me up!
somebody better shut me up that's for sure
somebody should shut my white ass up
sure a chicken fried steak)

kephm, Tuesday, 12 October 2004 03:23 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

two years pass...
I was gonna start a Dead Milkmen C/D thread but this kinda does the job even if King Missile kinda monopolized things...

Anyways, listening to Big Lizard In My Backyard which is undeniably classic if only for "Bitchin' Camaro."

NYCNative, Sunday, 29 April 2007 18:34 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Jesus Was Way Cool wins.

billstevejim, Sunday, 29 April 2007 19:26 (eleven years ago) Permalink

"The Adventures of Planky"

Mr. Snrub, Monday, 30 April 2007 00:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Sand is hurting my tender feet
The air smells like rotting fish and solarcaine
I hate the people on the beach
With their towels and umbrellas, they're so insane

I don't wanna be on the beach! No! [x2]
I don't wanna be on the beach!
I don't wanna be on the beach! No!

I hate my girlfriend, she-she-she
Lies on the beach like a barrier reef
Soaking up the stupid sun
While the radio is blasting fun, fun, fun

I don't wanna be on the beach! No fun! [x2]
I don't wanna be on the beach!
I don't wanna be on the beach! No fun! No!

This is no way to spend a summer
I've got sand caked on my feet
I gave my ice cream to a shark
And now I've got nothing to eat
No fun!

I don't wanna be on the beach! No fun!
I don't wanna be on the beach! No fun! No!
I don't wanna be on the beach!
I don't wanna be on the beach! No fun!

lfam, Monday, 30 April 2007 00:52 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I hate my girlfriend, she-she-she
Lies on the beach like a barrier reef
Soaking up the stupid sun
While the radio is blasting fun, fun, fun

this is a brilliant verse

lfam, Monday, 30 April 2007 00:52 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I love the Dead Milkmen to bits, but especially for Instant Club Hit.

You'll dance to anything by the Communards
You'll dance to anything by Book of Love
You'll dance to anything by The Smiths
You'll dance to anything by De-peche Mode
You'll dance to anything by Public Image Limited
You'll dance to anything by Naked Truth
You'll dance to anything by any bunch of stupid Europeans who come over
here with their big hairdoos bent on taking OUR money instead of giving
your cash, where it belongs, to a decent American artist like myself!

Hahaha... its funny because its me ;(

Trayce, Monday, 30 April 2007 01:31 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I love how he sneeringly says "dey-peshy MODE" as well.

Also classic: "Stuart" for complete rantage.

You know what, Stuart, I LIKE YOU. You're not like the other
people, here, in the trailer park.

Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're
good Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe
watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kick
back a cool, Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people,
Stuart. But they don't know ... what the queers are doing
to the soil!

You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid that delivers papers
in the neighborhood. He's a foreign kid. Some of the neighbors
say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.

Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl.
Kept bugging his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never
ask for anything else as long as I live." So the guy
breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's
the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are
you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows
the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you
think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you
think a kid like that is going to know what the queers are
doing to the soil?

I first became aware of this about ten years ago, the summer
my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into
town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride
called The Mixer. The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside
the Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a DAAAREDEVIL, just
like his old man. He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody,
Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They found
his head over by the snow cone concession.

A few days after that, I open up the mail. And there's a pamphlet
in there. From Pueblo, Colorado, and it's addressed to Bill, Jr.
And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our

Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city,
there's a big undeground homosexual population. Des Moines, Iowa,
for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart.
You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government
says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on,
Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens.
They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to

You know what, Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other
people, here in this trailer park.

Trayce, Monday, 30 April 2007 01:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Jesus Was Way Cool wins.

-- billstevejim, Sunday, April 29, 2007 3:26 PM (6 hours ago)

Was this song pioneering in its approach to Jesus humor? Because I feel like since then similar things have been done so many times and it's gotten played out. But I definitely love that song.

Hurting 2, Monday, 30 April 2007 02:12 (eleven years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

the Dead Milkmen's riffs are totally underrated. Some of their licks are totally unlike anything recorded by anyone else, and Joe Jack Talcum is one of the most underrecognized guitarists of his generation. listen to "Blood Orgy of the Atomic Fern", "Ringo Buys a Rifle", "Stuart," "I Against Osbourne," "Smoking Banana Peels," or "City of Mud." They sound nothing like the work of any other guitarist I can think of. Easy to overlook because of their funny lyrics, but this was an innovative band in many ways. Dave Blood was a damn good bassist too.

Pantheism F. Mohair (res), Tuesday, 27 January 2009 01:40 (ten years ago) Permalink

I love how he sneeringly says "dey-peshy MODE" as well.

He says Depeche Comode, actually.

Pantheism F. Mohair (res), Tuesday, 27 January 2009 01:41 (ten years ago) Permalink

Results 1 - 10 of about 6,470 for depeche commode. (0.07 seconds)

Cooking From A Stovetop (electricsound), Tuesday, 27 January 2009 01:48 (ten years ago) Permalink

Alex in NYC otm re: Metaphysical Graffitti

some dude, Tuesday, 27 January 2009 01:58 (ten years ago) Permalink

Gary and Melissa also got to me. That one is also killer.

I will say those bands from the late 80s into the 90s had a particular kind of comedic flare when you also include They Might Be Giants, Mojo Nixon, and The Butthole Surfers (who were not always funny, but god some of their music and lyrics are pretty funny).

earlnash, Tuesday, 27 January 2009 02:19 (ten years ago) Permalink

I was at Sophie's Bar on Fifth Street
This woman was trying to impress me or something
She told me she had done it all sexually
She had heard it all
She had seen it all
And she had done it all sexually
She said she was jaded
So I asked her if she had
ever been double fucked by
two black studs
And she didn't tell me
She just got up and left
So I figured she probably hadn't

President Keyes, Tuesday, 27 January 2009 02:20 (ten years ago) Permalink

Your father fucked your mother.

At least once, your father and your mother were in bed, and your father got a hard-on, and he stuck it inside your mother and they fucked. Sometimes maybe your father fucked your mother in the ass, and maybe on the night that you were conceived maybe they did that, before or after, or maybe they didn't, maybe your father never fucked your mother's ass, but on the night that you were conceived, one thing is certain: your father fucked your mother in her cunt.

Maybe your mother sucked your father's dick first, and maybe your father ate your mother's pussy. Maybe your father sucked your mother's clit while sticking a finger or two up your mother's slit until she got really wet. Maybe he got his whole hand up there. If you have older brothers or sisters, then your father probably could have gotten his whole hand up there. If not, then maybe not. But at some point, your mother was wet and loose enough to accommodate your father, and they fucked.

Maybe they did it doggy-style. Maybe your mother got on top of your father. Maybe your parents liked to talk dirty to each other when they were fucking.

Maybe your mother screamed, "Oh daddy. Oh daddy. Fuck me, daddy, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me," and then maybe your daddy shouted, "Here it comes! Here it comes! Get ready, bitch, here I come," and then maybe your mother said, "Come in me, come in me, come in me! Oh yeah, baby, fuck your mommy, fuck your momma's sweet pussy, oh yeah, daddy, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah."

Or maybe they were very quiet.

But at any rate, eventually your father came and his sperm shot out of his dick and it went up your mother's cunt and it fertilized her egg and that was you. That was you in your mother's womb, growing like a virus for nine months, making your mother fatter and fatter, making her sick, making her vomit, making her hate your father for doing this to her, making her hate you, this thing inside of her, like a virus, growing and sucking, like a leech attached to her, sucking her blood, drinking her like a vampire fetus, growing and sucking and growing and sucking until one day you want out, and you burst through the snotty membrane and you pop out of your mother's cunt all covered with blood, and a bloody umbilical cord still attaches you to the inside of your mother somewhere 'til someone snips it off and you are severed. You are a separate being.

This is the miracle of childbirth. To some, it is proof that there is a God.

Now after you were born, maybe you sucked milk out of your mother's tit. Maybe your father wiped the shit off your shitty ass. I don't know. You'll have to ask them. But that is basically the way people are born. In a nutshell, that is it. Unless you were a test tube baby, which you weren't, so just face it: your father fucked your mother, and the next time you're fucking somebody, just try to keep that in mind.

Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 27 January 2009 03:13 (ten years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

I never did have that Nelson Reilly orgy I planned lo those many years ago.


EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 00:35 (eight years ago) Permalink

John S. Hall was the first famous person I ever encountered on the internet, as he was very active on the King Missile forum on AOL back in the day. I really like their Dog Fly Religion years.

Cherry on the top like a nuclear warhead
Nuclear bomb gonna lick the trigger
I had a dog fly religion
Neutron on a chocolate sundae

Look mom, fallout is stuck between my teeth
Atomic toothpick picks the tartar
Clean it out like a yum yum yum
Then blow out my brains with a shotgun gun
I had a smile like old Jim Dandy
Radio, radioactive candy

Yum yum yum cherry on the top
Bob and beep and boop and bop
Gonna eat tons of snot
Then blow out my brains with a shotgun gun
Fun fun fun in the sun sun sun

Potato dog, dogs and flies
Real dull spoon will


Pluck out my eyes on Sunday
Blow out my brains on Tuesday!

kkvgz, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 01:25 (eight years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

Bumping this because trust me on that link.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 13:52 (six years ago) Permalink

Can't watch this yet because I'm at work, but Rodney Anonymous is one of the most hilarious people in music. The guy should have had another platform for his comedy after the Dead Milkmen.

Poliopolice, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 13:57 (six years ago) Permalink

five years pass...

Here's an unexpected cover: an NPR-friendly version of King Missile's "Hemophiliac of Love" (written by Dogbowl a.k.a Stephen Tunney) by Adrien Reju with guest artist Carl Newman (of the New Pornographers, AC Newman, etc.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3V3JjvjejQ

I was curious about this, so a little Googling revealed this article: https://glidemagazine.com/145570/album-premiereinterview-adrien-reju-strange-love-secret-language/

"When I began searching for cover songs for the album (I was looking in particular for songs under the theme of unconventional love) I immediately thought to ask Carl for a recommendation. He has such an immense library of obscure music that I thought he would be able to pull some gem out of it for me. That’s how 'Hemophiliac of Love' by King Missile ended up on the album. I thought it only appropriate to ask him to sing it with me as a duet and he reluctantly obliged (kidding)."

ernestp, Sunday, 10 September 2017 23:17 (one year ago) Permalink

All this beauty/and all those wolves...

how's life, Monday, 11 September 2017 10:50 (one year ago) Permalink

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