On Djing...

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I am finding "Male Stripper" by Man 2 Man meets Mann Parrish to be a real crowd pleaser in many different club environments at the moment. That could be a good one to kick off with, but where to go from there, that's the problem.

colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Saturday, 17 May 2003 00:10 (twenty years ago) link

Close with something brassy and deep. Open with something tart and sweet.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 17 May 2003 00:32 (twenty years ago) link

And in the middle, "Move Your Feet"!

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 17 May 2003 00:35 (twenty years ago) link

Don't know your crowd, but remember it's not what you have, it's what you do with it. Just don't get too drunk while spinning. A good DJ can play for the crowd and him/herself effectively if they gauge when people are movin' & shakin' or it's just headnods.

First three,

If you can scratch well(or not), here ya go:

1. Start it up with a sexy hip hop joint or a downtempo track. Nothing bangin', just sweet yet attention grabbing. Make it a track that people aren't exactly familiar with but you wanna make them curious. You must scratch/mix something with it you are sure of your abilities though.
2. Mystic Moods' "Cosmic Sea" is a massive cut to ease into as a second song. Flip it and mix/scratch with something comfy.
3. When the ridiculousness goin' off, the crowd should be into it, then really go into funky overdrive with something like "Theme from Blackbelt Jones" or your holy grail blaxploitation of choice. The party should be off to a good start at this point.

Then when they are getting drunk and frisky and ready to dance,"More, More, More" and "White Lines" are never disappointing spins.


Troll Archer, a Friendly Troll, Saturday, 17 May 2003 01:31 (twenty years ago) link

"Windowlicker"!

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 17 May 2003 02:37 (twenty years ago) link

(nordique, got your email will reply at length soon)

try to keep it interesting, that's my only advice.

i opened my last set with the books' "enjoy your worries, you may never have them again" with robert ashley's "in sara, mencken, christ & beethoven..."... tried to keep it fun and strange.

closed with a bird songs record that i was messing with into the long intro to the colette no5 DFA mix of casiotone for the painfully alone's "baby it's you"... for me it's just something that makes my hairs stand up on the back of my neck.

gygax! (gygax!), Saturday, 17 May 2003 19:49 (twenty years ago) link

the "don't get drunk" info is pretty good advice

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 17 May 2003 21:03 (twenty years ago) link

Damn.

Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Sunday, 18 May 2003 09:41 (twenty years ago) link

Just hold off until you actually start playing so you don't get tired.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 18 May 2003 16:12 (twenty years ago) link

four years pass...

i really want to do this in some form or another and i think i have a potential foothold at an older gay bar in town. i know/am casual friends with the manager and i've asked him a few times about an empty monday night slot. he's been a little cool about it so far but encouraged me to come on a monday and hear what the later guy was playing. i'm not really hip to popular gay classics or anything but i think some italo and etc. disco wouldn't bomb? (crowd is older gay dudes and random hustlers.) the manager is an ex-cattle-showing country guy who probably wouldn't get too excited if i talked to him in playlist-ese, which is how i'm used to talking to people about music. but i really think the bar (one of the oldest landmarks in the city but kind of "uncool" now) might benefit from something a little more interesting than what it plays right now -- bring in a younger crowd, etc., but also keep its current clientele psyched to come out.

really my question is how should i make this happen? (obviously the first step would be to go there on a monday night and check it out and talk to manager; i haven't yet because of the holidays and assorted stress.) any things to say / pitfalls to avoid? i really want to dj somewhere, somehow, and right now this seems like my best bet.

in general though, how pathetic and gauche is it these days to do the mp3jay thing with an ipod? i think at this particular bar no one would really give a shit, but if i want to keep it up / do something else... i need to invest in a turntable and start buying vinyl right?

re general dj-ing advice: what's the best way for someone who likes music a lot and likes watching people enjoy music and has music he thinks people would enjoy to start playing enjoyable music for people in a public (or any kind of) setting? keep in mind i'm not very good w/ people or schmoozing but getting better and i feel like this is necessary for my future uh happiness. thanks

strgn, Monday, 31 December 2007 08:43 (sixteen years ago) link

do you have a laptop?

download traktor and use that.

gr8080, Monday, 31 December 2007 08:54 (sixteen years ago) link

Based on my experience I'd give two general pieces of advice:
1) Get used to people making ridiculous wishes for a tune, and generally not understanding you don't have every record they'd like to hear readily available in your bag.
2) Get used to people trying to hit on you.

I've DJed mostly in university student parties though, maybe your club is a more specialized setting so these things won't happen so often.

Tuomas, Monday, 31 December 2007 08:59 (sixteen years ago) link

I am a rock guy that came to the DJ game pretty late. It's a fucking blast getting to play my records for other people.

Here's a few quick tips:

1) unless you are going to do dance nights, you don't need to learn to beat match, scratch, or show off any other "skills"

2) FLOW is the single most important thing you can provide. Don't fuck with the audience repeatedly, even if you're playing adventurous music. At least use the "punishment/reward" concept if you must satisfy yourself

3) Don't be embarrassed to pick up a really cheap and useful book called "How do Dj Right". I read great reviews of it, and was blown away at how simple and correct its methodology is.

***

Other than that, yeah--don't use mp3s if you can help it. That's gay.

Nate Carson, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:01 (sixteen years ago) link

BTW, you don't need to own turntables unless you're going to do a lot of gigs at places that don't already have them. I do recommend investing in your own cartridges though. That will run you around $60 and will save your records from harsh needles on public decks.

Also, in case you didn't get it, my mp3 comment was a joke. I rely heavily on my vinyl collection because I don't beat match or whatever. So I fall back on two things: my great record collection and my immaculate flow.

:)

Nate Carson, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:04 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh yeah, one more thing I've learned: the more drunk the crowd, the less adventurous music the probably want to hear. If you're playing at some club centred around certain genre(s) it might be different, but in general clubs people just want to have a bit of fun and not expand their musical horizons too much.

Tuomas, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:08 (sixteen years ago) link

i've got good flow, thanks. gr8080, no laptop :(. do you think a cheap-ish notebook/laptop w/ traktor or whatever is a better investment for all-purpose dance-ish semi-weirdo dj-ing than a turntable in the future?

tuomas, i'm not gonna be too weird. if anything i'm too sensitive to crowd moods--that is, if i take advice from upthread and don't do it drunk.

strgn, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:16 (sixteen years ago) link

And Nate is correct about not needing specialized DJ skills: if it's not a dance or hip-hop club, people probably don't care shit about such tricks. Basically you just need to learn to use the crossfader and try not to follow one tune with another one in completely different tempo (no slow r'n'b jams immediately after a fast house tune). The only things people will notice are blatant fuck-ups, like accidentally pressing the pause button. Which leads to one more piece of advice - don't get drunk, even if your drinks are on the house. A few drinks might be good to ease the tension, but if you get too drunk the potentiality of such fuck-ups is very high.

(x-post)

Tuomas, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:18 (sixteen years ago) link

thx tuomas, good advice.

p.s. manager told me cds were the operating media here so i guess that would be best (though i think i can get away w/ an ipod since the mixing "booth" is like above and hidden from anyone and i could probably find a stereo in and bring some jacks). what i really need to do is check out the set-up tomorrow and see how they're mixing em.

strgn, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:22 (sixteen years ago) link

i'd stay away from using your ipod and use cds if you can. burn your best sounding files to cd at least.

gr8080, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:25 (sixteen years ago) link

ok thx

strgn, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:27 (sixteen years ago) link

if you're unfamiliar w/ the basics of using a dj mixer (or even if you are familiar but haven't used the specific type the bar has) see if you can drop in before they open and mess around for half an hour or so, so you can get comfortable with the basics of going from one cd deck to the next.

even if you don't plan on beat matching, the more comfortable you can get with compensating for volume variances between different tracks, minimizing dead air between tracks, perfecting your general flow, etc.

also, bring your own headphones if you have a pair with a 1/4" jack.

gr8080, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:32 (sixteen years ago) link

also, nate otm. at least stop by the book store and spend half an hour thumbing through "how to dj right".

gr8080, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:34 (sixteen years ago) link

ok. i'm not a total mixer n00b but i'm unfamiliar with dual cd mixers if that's really what they have. this is great advice + making me think about what i haven't actually thought about yet because i'm too self-deluded and arrogant. i'll check out the set-up tomorrow if i can and report back for everyone's reading enjoyment. and i've got to grab that book; it looks really really helpful. thx nate!

strgn, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:44 (sixteen years ago) link

dont forget to have fun, too.

dont get too caught up in pre-arranging your music ("i'll play this track and then this track and then this track...") the best part of deejaying, even at a bar w/o a dancefloor, is connecting with the room and seeing where they're at with regard to what you're playing and how that influences your next selection.

if someone makes a request and you have it, play it. if you don't have it, be honest, but use their request as a springboard to a different topic, musical or otherwise. if people are super annoying and complaining about what you're playing or making vague and non-specific requests, tell them that the next deejay plays the kind of stuff they're into and he goes on in an hour.

also don't listen to tuomas; if you get to drink for free take advantage of that shit! its a bar, not a dance club, right?

gr8080, Monday, 31 December 2007 09:59 (sixteen years ago) link

always play 'you make me feel mighty real' by sylvester.

haitch, Monday, 31 December 2007 10:04 (sixteen years ago) link

haha yes! sylvester will not be MIA

strgn, Monday, 31 December 2007 10:13 (sixteen years ago) link

yeah gr8080 i just need to check their set-up and make that work w/ what i have +++++ the flexibility axis. this place is definitely NOT a dance place. people are drinking, eyeing other men and occasionally playing pool. some nights the bar just plays an xm radio station. monday is 'oldies' night but god knows what that means (general '70s/'80s). if anything i need to educate myself on some mainstream (gay) shit from that era to keep the crowd alive. and i am NEVER one to turn down a free drink.

strgn, Monday, 31 December 2007 10:20 (sixteen years ago) link

I didn't mean you should take any free drinks, just that you shouldn't get too drunk, if you want avoid errors. But if it's just a bar night I guess it doesn't really matter that much.

Tuomas, Monday, 31 December 2007 10:32 (sixteen years ago) link

I think it's always good to know the general age of your audience, because people usually tend to love the music of their youth the most, so you'll know what songs will be guaranteed floorfillers. For example, I usually DJ in student parties where people are in their early twenties, and I've noticed I shouldn't play too many eighties and early nineties tunes, because those youngsters might not be familiar with them at all. One time I was playing "Informer" by Snow, and two girls actually came to ask me what song it is, they'd never heard it before.

Tuomas, Monday, 31 December 2007 10:37 (sixteen years ago) link

x-post haha i'd like fuck you if you played informer.

nah it really does since i won't be familiar with the setup. but you know, i know my alcohol limit for basic motor/mental control etc. this is all riding on future knowledge at this point though so.....

thanks everyone for yore knowledge and responses. i really needed the feedback, if only to get my own juices going for the whole thing. do you ever have something stewing in the back of yr mind for way too long but you just don't have the guts to bring it into a frontal lobe until you mention it to other people? that's me on this thread. thanks bye

strgn, Monday, 31 December 2007 10:40 (sixteen years ago) link

I had weekly DJ gig at a Irish pub in Sunnyvale for a couple of months but ended up quitting over some (admittedly) mild drama. The owner wanted Thursday to become a "Rockin' College Party Night" but we ran into a few problems:

1. The bar was totally dead almost every Thursday, not very rockin'
2. When remotely college-aged people showed up they wanted to hear hip-hop
3. Barflys would bitch and moan when I went off the classic rock playbook and tried to play something edgy like The Clash or Talking Heads.

All of this would have been much more tolerable if they ever gave me A DRINK TICKET OR TWO. I stuck it out for a couple months because the pay was decent, which is never a good reason to keep do something you otherwise love. But after some drama with being replaced without notice for a couple weeks by Ronnie the Karaoke DJ I decided to quit.

I've gone back to mobile DJing and private parties and am much, much happier.

anyway.. strongo break a legski!

The Macallan 18 Year, Monday, 31 December 2007 20:37 (sixteen years ago) link

haha that's not strongo.

the best part of deejaying, even at a bar w/o a dancefloor, is connecting with the room and seeing where they're at with regard to what you're playing and how that influences your next selection.

this is great advice.

sleeve, Monday, 31 December 2007 20:47 (sixteen years ago) link

strgn u know u better announce ur first gig we'll be there. i don't know shit about djing so carry on.

tremendoid, Monday, 31 December 2007 20:58 (sixteen years ago) link

if you ever want to play vinyl, needles are essential, as not all clubs even have a house pair and you're expected to bring your own...and if they do have a house pair they're usually crap.

Depending on the quality of the dual CD players, you'll likely find it much easier to use than mixing with your ipod, though having the ipod as back-up won't hurt.

If you're going to burn a set of CDs, make 2 copies of each, that way you can mix from one song two another on the same comp.

Use a short fade or do a quick fade on the first song and fade in or even just start the second song from zero. For instance, when you're cueing the second CD you'll start getting used to finding the beat and even when not beatmixing, you can still make for a smoother transaction by starting on beat. You'll also find yourself getting really bored back there and you'll play around with beatmatching in your headphones because there's nothing else to do. That's how I learned to DJ at least.

dan selzer, Monday, 31 December 2007 23:15 (sixteen years ago) link

ok that makes more sense now that i've finally checked out the two-cd deck. the guy who drops it there monday evening (6-9) is gonna school me on the decks next week (hopefully). and in any case i think i've got a night, or something. thanks everyone for the info and encouragement.

p.s. what sounds as good as "inspiration information" by shuggie otis?

strgn, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 07:03 (sixteen years ago) link

eddie kendricks - 'date with the rain' y/n

strgn, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 08:07 (sixteen years ago) link

definitely practice a bit beforehand. it's actually quite scary, even in a bar or something, suddenly being in control of the music that's playing. stuff like volume levels is actually really important too especially if you're using music that's come from bought cds and mp3s etc, just make sure you stay with the lights at the same level on the individual channels and use the gains to help you with this.

it can be sort of embarassing if you are not beatmatching and the track you mix in is way too loud (or way too quiet)

I wouldn't bother using the crossfader, just volumes up and down, it's more logical when you start off.

if you can practice on the soundsystem even for 45 mins or an hour beforehand that's pretty good too. I know it's a bar but some records sound much more manic and loud when you play them on a bigger system: you may have stuff you planned to play early on that is like this and you'll think "oops" when you play it.

if nobody is dancing, don't be afraid to make things more mellow rather than more intense.

Ronan, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 10:27 (sixteen years ago) link

i had a recurring and cliched dream where the track is about to finish and for some reason you haven't and can't get the next one going.

blueski, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 12:01 (sixteen years ago) link

we talk about that a lot on a DJ mailing list I'm on. I don't know if it's specifically anxiety about DJing, or just your mind using that as a way to express anxiety in general. I've been DJing for well over 10 years and in every situation possible, and while I still can get a little nervous, I'm pretty comfortable DJing, yet I'm constantly having these dreams where the song is about to end and I don't have my records with me or I have records but they're all the wrong ones or the equipment is working...

dan selzer, Tuesday, 8 January 2008 13:46 (sixteen years ago) link

two years pass...

i have been teed up to play a party tonight. i'm not actually a dj and i'm out of practice!! is this going to be a disaster???

the party is a 'P'-themed party. i am going to fudge it with paradise garage-y records, ie: the disco and house in my collection

eau de humanity (haitch), Saturday, 20 February 2010 03:40 (fourteen years ago) link

my first thought:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYTEQjwxXzU

one time gaffled 'em up (one time), Saturday, 20 February 2010 03:56 (fourteen years ago) link

five months pass...

So, I'm thinking about buying a CDJ, as I don't intend to stop buying CD's, and as I have/buy a lot of straight up dance albums, which have many a track that it would be nice to be able to mix.

This all makes me nervous, though, since I've always been rubbed the wrong way by CDJ's, and I can't help feel it'll be an affront to my vinyl (I would really hate to start neglecting it as a neglect). Keep in mind I have no intention to, and don't really want to, use this to play burned CD's.

These aren't cheap, even on craigslist, so I have no idea if it'll be worth it?

Where Time Becomes A Loop, Where Time Becomes Aloof (EDB), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 04:33 (thirteen years ago) link

must admit i've toyed with this idea in the past - and never followed it up due to a) not being a working DJ, b) the cost.

the polka-dot jersey shore (haitch), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 05:10 (thirteen years ago) link

(party refernced upthread was excellent - tho i finished up lost in a k-hole somewhere - then i played another party a couple months later and it was terrible. never again.)

the polka-dot jersey shore (haitch), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 05:11 (thirteen years ago) link

Hmmn. Well I might able to get a good pioneer one for as little as $400 on craigslist, but even still, $400 doesn't just come out of nowhere.

Where Time Becomes A Loop, Where Time Becomes Aloof (EDB), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 12:55 (thirteen years ago) link

i guess if you already have enough cds with enough music unavailable to you on vinyl then it is definitely worth it

i think once you've made the leap though, it might be difficult to resist the temptation of buying mp3s and burning them to cd-r, and in that case you'd probably be better off with a copy of serato or whatever

不合作的方式 (r1o natsume), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 13:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah, I'm kind of afraid of that, but I'm kind of weird in my resistance to burning mp3's (see: "lol teenage guilt over stealing music"), most notably in the fact that a week ago I deleted all the mp3's off my computer (backed up of course) to focus on listening to my acquired music more.

It seems like there's all sorts of pressures to move away from vinyl, and I hope this wouldn't be a push in the wrong direction (though having only one would prevent that).

Where Time Becomes A Loop, Where Time Becomes Aloof (EDB), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 13:17 (thirteen years ago) link

i think once you've made the leap though, it might be difficult to resist the temptation of buying mp3s and burning them to cd-r, and in that case you'd probably be better off with a copy of serato or whatever

This is exactly where I am at right now.

my opinionation (Hamildan), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 14:50 (thirteen years ago) link

Hmmmn. I see a pioneer CDJ 800 mk1 for $400. The inadvertently nice thing about the mk1 is that it can't play Mp3's (I guess you have to convert tracks to wav's first), which would be an extra barrier against the potential temptation to play mp3's.

Where Time Becomes A Loop, Where Time Becomes Aloof (EDB), Tuesday, 20 July 2010 18:11 (thirteen years ago) link

two years pass...

To those out there who DJ...do you enjoy having a sparring partner in the booth? Is it a hindrance?

the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Friday, 10 May 2013 15:23 (ten years ago) link

i'm playing at the italian club tomorrow, on the big dancefloor. there's a sit-down dinner that's happening first so the evening will basically be a social hour, followed by dinner, followed by dancing, and the whole evening is a charity fundraiser for an animal rights org. i'm pretty excited about it all, buuuuut...

the host of the party gave me some ideas of things he'd like me to play that i'm feeling a bit stymied by, tbh - like a lot of things he suggested i'm happy to play (madonna, gaga, blondie, etc) but he also mentioned this one current-day italian rock band, i listened to some of their songs and i think they're awful. he also mentioned neil diamond and asked if i could play "murder on the dance floor" as the last song of the night (tbh i'm at a point now where i just never need to hear that song ever again, and i like the damn thing). idk, just feeling vaguely annoyed by his requests - but also maybe i'm just being a brat, and it'll probably all be fine.

had my usual happy hour gig a couple days ago, not as well-attended as the last few i did but still fun. had a few ppl ask for song IDs, and the guy who runs the bar's kitchen (who also occasionally DJs) proposed we play out together sometime, which was cool - don't know him super well but he always says really kind things about my sets. maybe i'll take him up on it! feeling very "seize the day" about things in my life lately.

donna rouge, Sunday, 7 April 2024 04:33 (four weeks ago) link

you're not a brat, i'd be more than vaguely annoyed

karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 7 April 2024 06:47 (four weeks ago) link

yeah I am done with Murder On The Dancefloor as well. Can you play all the Neil Diamond/Italian rock stuff at the start of the night so it's out of the way? Or save it til the end, and tell him you're leaving it until everyone is drunk and ready to sing and dance along? That way you don't have to think about this stuff as part of your set in the same way

boxedjoy, Sunday, 7 April 2024 07:07 (four weeks ago) link

there's always Neil's synthpop phase:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b9bWNA1dKs

Bernard Quidbins (NickB), Sunday, 7 April 2024 07:37 (four weeks ago) link

ok glad it's not just me lol

yeah i'm def gonna start out the night on the more rock end of things, and the dinner may start out as quieter ballad-y stuff that slowly builds into a groove by dessert time or so, leading into the disco bombs portion of the evening

i believe i have found a way to breach the neil diamond impasse at the very least:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msWuL-g_KA4

donna rouge, Sunday, 7 April 2024 08:09 (four weeks ago) link

(i would rather eat glass than ever, ever play "sweet caroline" in any of my sets, for the record)

donna rouge, Sunday, 7 April 2024 08:14 (four weeks ago) link

oh there's an italo disco version of that one too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUA2rVQ-feE

Bernard Quidbins (NickB), Sunday, 7 April 2024 09:00 (four weeks ago) link

ha! nice find

donna rouge, Sunday, 7 April 2024 18:45 (four weeks ago) link

so my bar closed in march and forfeited their liquor license (weird utah alcohol laws).

i've tried two other gay bars. one basically shooed me away. the other expressed some interest but now they're ghosting me.

i'm tired of dead ends. fuck this city into the ground. can't wait to ghost this place after it's ghosted me so many times. i don't vibe with anyone here at all. such a lame scene, juvenile and not for me anymore, i never fit in with those douchebags anyway. ready to hang up my hat for a while. i've been mostly listening to metal and rock lately anyway. time to drop all the frustration and move on with my life.

he/him hoo-hah (map), Sunday, 7 April 2024 19:07 (four weeks ago) link

xp to NickB - I thought you meant an italo cover of 'Sweet Caroline'. That would have made my day!

ArchCarrier, Monday, 8 April 2024 08:23 (three weeks ago) link

Ewww lol no! There is a Fun Fun version of I'm A Believer though. It's... not great

Bernard Quidbins (NickB), Monday, 8 April 2024 09:48 (three weeks ago) link

sorry things are so dispiriting map <3

tho tbh your post flashed through my mind at my gig yesterday after a woman not once, but TWICE, requested that i "play music that people know"

and someone did, in fact, request "sweet caroline." i told him i didn't have it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

donna rouge, Tuesday, 9 April 2024 05:18 (three weeks ago) link

DJ Ötzi version is the only one you need:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFq2v5MC4YA

ArchCarrier, Tuesday, 9 April 2024 08:52 (three weeks ago) link

SO GOOD
SO GOOD
SO GOOD

ArchCarrier, Tuesday, 9 April 2024 08:54 (three weeks ago) link

haha ty dr. i'm ok with it tbh. sort of just want to be a fan and not feel like i have to 'keep up on electronic music' all the time. i'm thinking seriously about a pretty radical career change too. if i ever want to dance i'll probably try to find an amateur modern dance troupe or something. no pressure no social scene bs just move around emotionally to music some time before 9 pm lol.

he/him hoo-hah (map), Tuesday, 9 April 2024 17:54 (three weeks ago) link

and hmm yeah i can see that gig resulting in some dispiriting requester situations. good luck and godspeed.

he/him hoo-hah (map), Tuesday, 9 April 2024 17:57 (three weeks ago) link

two weeks pass...

got another one tomorrow, all I know is I'm gonna start with Cups by Underworld and at the end blam Rydeen

frogbs, Thursday, 25 April 2024 03:31 (one week ago) link

ok this one was kind of sweet, basically my deal is if you bring in vinyl I'll play it almost no matter what it is. I'm the "professional DJ" so I'll figure out how to make it work (or not). anyway this one guy came who was mentally handicapped and maybe looking for an excuse to get out, so he came out for this because he had exactly one thing on vinyl - a boxset of Bitches Brew by Miles Davis. he won it in some raffle. he was pretty excited we were playing "his" record, apparently unaware he'd brought in one of the greatest jazz recordings of all time lol

frogbs, Friday, 26 April 2024 16:55 (one week ago) link

my pal's hairdresser had a 40th last night, and her DJ cancelled with only three weeks notice, so my pal suggested that I play it. Doing "mobile discos" really isn't what I want to be doing, but the birthday girl offered decent money and I felt bad for her having to scramble to find someone, so I took the gig. We had a chat when we first made contact and I explained that I'm not really someone who is going to play Brown Eyed Girl and Build Me Up Buttercup and Sweet Caroline, so if she was looking for something like that then I wouldn't be suitable. She said she didn't want something as traditional, and she was basically wanting a warm-up party for before her trip to Ibiza this weekend. So I thought, this is something I could manage - some cheesy stuff, some disco and lots of pop-house.

So to make sure I was prepared I asked her if she had any specific requests for songs, and times to play certain songs (eg last song of the night etc). She said she didn't want too much house music, but then sent me a playlist of 30 tracks that her and the people she works with love. It was all hard trance and techy stuff - think Billy Gillies and Hannah Laing, who are huge names in the world of crossover dance music in 2024 despite being pretty terrible.

But, it's not my night, so I decided to go with it. I planned to play an hour of disco, an hour of r&b, and then two hours of clubby pop-house and planned to keep the hard trance stuff to the end, so that when everyone was a bit drunk and lively they would dance to it. I don't think there's anything worse than seeing someone playing fast and hard to an empty room.

My night was a disaster.

First, the venue was a nightmare. She had hired it before it made the news a few months ago for an event that went massively viral for its awfulness. That event was blamed on the organiser, but having now spent a night at the venue I can see they weren't solely to blame. The staff were useless last night. They were more interested in pouring their own drinks than serving anyone. The "low lighting" was still like having the main light on in your living room. The speakers were terrible - really murky, and even with the volume cranked up it felt very quiet.

The birthday girl had hired a saxophonist to come play for an hour. This seemed a bit strange to me but I'm open-minded. The woman turned up and she was lovely, really nice, great chat. She was due to start about an hour into the party and play for an hour, and while she was setting up we were chatting and we were in agreement that it was a tough crowd. The dancefloor space had been reduced for a photobooth which didn't help, but you could tell that people were out for a nice subdued drink rather than a big night out. As we were working out when she would take over, she asked if I could skip a few things I had planned to play because she was going to play them as she played her sax over them.

She then played what I can only describe as "Scottish Floorfillers: The Megamix." In Glasgow we have a local radio show that's really popular called "The GBX" which is basically donk versions of pop hits and club classics. In an hour she played all the biggest anthems, the stuff you would rely on: "You're A Superstar", "Boom Boom Boom Boom", and Scotland's other national anthem "Bits & Pieces." She also played all the big 80s stuff "Sweet Dreams", "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" and "Young Hearts Run Free." Every time she started a new song my heart sank because it was a song I was expecting to play and get a decent reaction. Even then, people were still in their seats, not really feeling it.

She finished at 10pm. That left me two hours to play. But when someone has come in and played all the biggest crowdpleasers before you, where do you go from there? I get that if you're only playing for an hour and you want to be booked again by other guests you have to show you are the most fun and great entertainment. But it really fucked me over.

I started with some chart dance-pop. It was going OK. Then, just to really knock me off, my laptop froze and Rekordbox crashed. I could have just crawled under the table and died at that moment and it would have probably went down better. A minute to reset and it was fine again, but nobody dancing. I was playing stuff from the playlist the birthday girl sent me, which I wasn't even enjoying myself and nobody else was. I did a pivot to 80s pop. Still no dancing. I tried some 90s pop. Still no dancing. I went full cheese - "9-5", "Don't Leave Me This Way", "A Little Respect." Still no dancing. Taylor Swift, Harry Styles, The Weeknd. Still no dancing.

At the end of a Scottish party it's traditional to play Runrig's "Loch Lomond." Everyone gathers in a massive circle, holds hands, and sings along to the slow bit, then do a weird running/mosh dance to the fast bit, while the person whose birthday/wedding/etc it is stands in the middle. It's standard procedure and it would be odd to go to this type of event and have that not happen. When the time came to play that? Still no dancing.

It is fair to say that I completely bombed last night. I know logically that a lot of it isn't my fault - a lacklustre crowd, someone else stealing my energy, a venue that didn't offer anything conducive, and a tech glitch - but I genuinely felt embarassed going home with cash given how underwhelming the whole thing felt. At the same time: this isn't the type of thing I want to be doing, and I don't feel sad that I didn't flourish when attempting to do something that I don't really want to try again.

My phone fell out my pocket on the taxi home and I won't get it back until this afternoon, and that somehow feels like a metaphor for my evening.

boxedjoy, Saturday, 4 May 2024 09:29 (yesterday) link

Wow! I can't imagine anyone is ever going to have a worse DJ gig than this to beat such an incredible story. I'm so sorry you went through that, but what a tale! The saxophonist part absolutely blew my mind.

I do think this will be an outlier in just how awful a gig can be and I hope one day you can appreciate it for what a great story it gave you. But yes, i think I'd be fairly traumatised after that experience!

It did teach me what a crap Scottish person I am though as I never knew that about Runrig's "Loch Lomond." I asked my wife if she knew that and she just burst out laughing saying how can you not know that!!?. Oops!

Anyway, super sorry but thanks for sharing!

stirmonster, Saturday, 4 May 2024 09:57 (yesterday) link

I am now trying to picture you playing "Loch Lomond" in Queens Park tomorrow and it is cracking me up

boxedjoy, Saturday, 4 May 2024 10:56 (yesterday) link

Yeah, that sucks. A Little Respect is a bit of a litmus test for me: if they won't dance to that, they won't dance to anything, and there's nothing that I can do to fix it. I had a saxophonist with me for a party earlier this year; she sent me a playlist of half a dozen tunes, and I put them into a mix at the start of my set. It was... fine. And then everybody disappeared upstairs, and almost nobody danced for the rest of the night (I did the A Little Respect litmus test, after which I just relaxed into the situation.) The person whose party it was felt bad about it, and gave me a bottle of wine the next day to compensate!

I didn't know that Bits & Pieces was a Scottish anthem!

My Friday nights are still going well BTW. I have an optional extra half hour which depends on how busy the bar is, and for the last couple of months I've been playing it in full - we always get a late surge of punters, even if it's been quiet earlier. The renewed interest in country has become very apparent: Wagon Wheel is massive (US readers: feel free to roll your eyes, but it was never a hit over here, and it seems to be having a moment), and I get a good reaction to Tebey's recent cover of Blinding Lights, which TBH I prefer to the original.

My most loyal regular - at least 70 years old, less than 5 feet tall, zero dress sense and an amazing dancer, Nothern Soul spins, the lot - has become something of a mascot; everybody wants to dance with him, nobody takes the piss, and something about his gentle enthusiasm helps to set the mood in the room. He drives about 35 miles to get there, and books a room for the night in a local pub. I'm honoured!

mike t-diva, Saturday, 4 May 2024 10:59 (yesterday) link

I am now trying to picture you playing "Loch Lomond" in Queens Park tomorrow and it is cracking me up

ha ha! i shoud do it to see what happens.

stirmonster, Saturday, 4 May 2024 11:09 (yesterday) link

mike, your most loyal regular sounds amazing. what a hero.

stirmonster, Saturday, 4 May 2024 11:11 (yesterday) link

oh, and yes - I didn't know that Bits & Pieces was a Scottish anthem!

i honestly think if this was designated Scotland's official national anthem a good % of the population would be all for it.

stirmonster, Saturday, 4 May 2024 11:19 (yesterday) link

Another great thing about my regular is that he loves the deep cuts - Azymuth: Jazz Carnival is one of his favourites, and more recently he's been loving Warriors: Destination (a brilliant Britfunk/jazz-funk track which is all about the lengthy instrumental middle section). As he's always there at the start and is the first one to dance, I programme my first half hour especially for him, before wheeling out the more obvious stuff.

mike t-diva, Saturday, 4 May 2024 11:27 (yesterday) link

Omg what an absolute nightmare boxedjoy. Hope you can look back on it and laugh someday

I did another members night in the Italian club bocce court last night - I have so much fun playing there, it’s not really conducive to dancing but I did see a few people bopping here and there. Tried my hand at a cosmic-style set (lots of leftfield 80s synth and jazz-funk peppered with some African and Brazilian tunes, never went above 112 bpm), ppl responded well to it and I am ruinously hungover today oof

donna rouge, Saturday, 4 May 2024 15:52 (yesterday) link


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