the snorg girl looks crazy

well yeah

She is Jessica Simpson's retarded, chained-in-the-attic younger sister who is not Ashlee Simpson.

snorgsnorgsnorgsnorgsnorgsnorgsnorg aaaargh my day is ruined

born in '88! making me feel old

ok wtf lohan

so creepy that 19 year olds are 5 years younger than me.

next year ppl born in THE NINETIES can buy cigarettes

http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/4615/snorgvx8.jpg

THARES UR SNORG BABY!!1

"I'm kind of wearing a hideous dress"

so creepy that 19 year olds are 5 years younger than me

deej, that makes you like 10 years younger than me.

http://img125.imageshack.us/img125/7552/snog2ab1.jpg

abnvfpa pru9agnwijha 8080808080

http://img503.imageshack.us/img503/135/snog3sg1.jpg

Well done.

somehow that isn't on schefter blog yet? wtf

all that, AND she believes in God. Hold me back.

http://www.snorgtees.com/images/CustomerPic_000101.jpg

ok I can actually deal with this.

http://www.snorgtees.com/images/LetsHugItOut_F_Fullpic_10.jpg
BRRRAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNSSSSSS

tyty

kenan, from that photo there appears to be absolutely nothing remarkable about that girl whatsoever.

I actually kind of like this one:

http://myspace-296.vo.llnwd.net/01246/69/26/1246146296_l.jpg

She keeps like she's trying to dislocate her jaw so she can swallow an alligator whole.

"alligator"

kenan, random girls in idiotic t-shirts are not the same thing as the snorg girl.

but she has a nice big nose.

ok, i guess i'm alone here.

http://a270.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00791/96/27/791747269_l.jpg
http://a497.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00987/69/44/987124496_l.jpg

ok now im afraid

My name is alice and i have brownish curly hair...when i wash it. I kind of want to grow dreadlocks but not sure that i could pull them off. My eyes are super big and 5 different colors. I go to Auburn and i'm obsessed with it!I don't really get bored easily because I'm pretty good at entertaining myself. As long as I'm in a room full of people I'm happy. My name is alice and i have brownish curly hair...when i wash it. I kind of want to grow dreadlocks but not sure that i could pull them off. My eyes are super big and 5 different colors. I go to Auburn and i'm obsessed with it!I don't really get bored easily because I'm pretty good at entertaining myself. As long as I'm in a room full of people I'm happy. My name is alice and i have brownish curly hair...when i wash it. I kind of want to grow dreadlocks but not sure that i could pull them off. My eyes are super big and 5 different colors. I go to Auburn and i'm obsessed with it!I don't really get bored easily because I'm pretty good at entertaining myself. As long as I'm in a room full of people I'm happy. My name is alice and i have brownish curly hair...when i wash it. I kind of want to grow dreadlocks but not sure that i could pull them off. My eyes are super big and 5 different colors. I go to Auburn and i'm obsessed with it!I don't really get bored easily because I'm pretty good at entertaining myself. As long as I'm in a room full of people I'm happy. My name is alice and i have brownish curly hair...when i wash it. I kind of want to grow dreadlocks but not sure that i could pull them off. My eyes are super big and 5 different colors. I go to Auburn and i'm obsessed with it!I don't really get bored easily because I'm pretty good at entertaining myself. As long as I'm in a room full of people I'm happy. My name is alice and i have brownish curly hair...when i wash it. I kind of want to grow dreadlocks but not sure that i could pull them off. My eyes are super big and 5 different colors. I go to Auburn and i'm obsessed with it!I don't really get bored easily because I'm pretty good at entertaining myself. As long as I'm in a room full of people I'm happy. My name is alice and i have brownish curly hair...when i wash it. I kind of want to grow dreadlocks but not sure that i could pull them off. My eyes are super big and 5 different colors. I go to Auburn and i'm obsessed with it!I don't really get bored easily because I'm pretty good at entertaining myself. As long as I'm in a room full of people I'm happy.

http://a255.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01530/45/27/1530457254_l.jpg
WATCH OUT! SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU, BRO!

pron intro up there. ^^

She's cheerful on the outside because she's dying on the inside.

Can't you see it? The barely contained emotional agony?

the snorg girl is a tragic figure, indeed.

i sympathize with her

tho i still think she's going to eat my soul

imagine for a moment if the snorg girl was a coworker.

She has Corey Haim Chronic Open-Mouth Syndrome.

she'd be an improvement over many of them, admittedly

imagine for a moment if the snorg girl was a coworker.

i'd probably eat the barrel of a pistol for lunch.

Or else she would.

jesus christ those shirts are aggravating

I GO TO AUBURN AND IM OBSESSED WITH IT

ok i shouldn't be making fun of the snorg girl when <a href="http://www.ringo.com/photos/photo.html?photoId=93442899&quot;>pictures like this</a> exist of me on the internets huh.

lololol i suck

I REGRET GOING TO MICHIGAN

Or else she would.

yeah, she would grin and say something WAY creepy about Satan and then kill herself in front of you

ally, you don't look deeply troubled, you just look like you're faking it a bit

http://www.snorgtees.com/images/LetsHugItOut_F_Fullpic_10.jpg

IM WATCHING U ALLY AND IM OBSESSED WITH IT

Not sure so much "kill herself" as much as "tear chest apart w/ her fingernails to reveal the rotted, malevolent thing inside, wearing the physical form like a cheap suit".

that is why i don't have pictures of myself on teh internets.

kenan, i don't ever trust your opinion of deeply troubled, you know this

I reversed-image searched those wedding pix, and we're the only ones on the internet who has them.

What if Snorg Girl starts stalking me? Then what?

fair's fair

She gave birth to The Chive.

https://theconcourse.deadspin.com/one-sketchy-photo-shoot-landed-this-womans-face-on-ever-1825216879

https://tpc.googlesyndication.com/daca_images/simgad/13492724772986564059

^I think Herman's Hermits are playing at a nearby Indian casino this week, too. They may not all be the original members, tho.

Taken as a whole, Indian Reservation gambling produces more revenue than Atlantic City and Las Vegas combined

The best part about that deadspin article was the rabbit hole that led me to this piece

http://thenervousbreakdown.com/jdelsignore/2014/02/is-standing-a-crime/

Thx. This part was good:

In those days the turnstiles still accepted tokens, and you could sometimes glimpse the now-lost art of “token sucking.” To pull off the scam, a particularly desperate grifter clogs a turnstile token slot with debris and waits. Soon an unsuspecting mark drops in his token and painfully slams his thighs into a mysteriously unyielding turnstile. The token has not gone through, but is seemingly impossible to retrieve! After some general cursing and banging about, the victim gives up, plunks another token into a functioning turnstile, and moves on with his life. Here our villain swoops back into frame and, lowering his lips to the little token slit, sucks out the precious prize straight into his mouth. He spits it back out into his hand with a piratical grin, and then the token, dried off and rehabilitated, is ready for resale at a slight discount. The decidedly unromantic MetroCard put an end to all that.

And there's more good stuff than just that.

Getting snorg vibes from Mahogany Lox, star of the MasterCard ad on Twitter that has been shitting up my feed for the last couple of weeks

Glad I'm not the only one haunted by her, she's taken over my IG feed with promoted posts too. She seems inescapable.

Of course the latter might be my fault because I made the terrible decision to google who tf she was after she got plastered all over Twitter.

If you google her she kills you in your dreams, I heard.

Or at least chase you through and endless hallway, mugging all the way.

"Mahogany Lox" has to be a Pynchon character.

hahaha

snorg vibes despite only half a head being visible

https://i.ibb.co/RcSZP8K/snorg-vibes.jpg

the snorg girl tattooed "hakuna matata" on her foot, got married, had kids, went normcore
https://www.instagram.com/alicekipling

what a wonderful phrase

It means “no worries”

i got an ad for "snorgtees" on fb.

snorgnftees

Did we ever discuss this https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna22689315

Or indeed this https://www.primermagazine.com/2008/love/40-semi-interesting-facts-about-alice-the-snorgtees-girl

literally everyone 35 yo and younger gets all of their t-shirts from the internet now

Counterpoint: my teenager buys all his T-shirts at H&M at the mall

and that H&M is constantly full of people and I am the only one over 35