― The Damp Is Rising (kate), Monday, 21 November 2005 11:42 (eighteen years ago) link
― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 21 November 2005 11:44 (eighteen years ago) link
― THIS IS THE SOUND OF ALTERN 8 !!! (noodle vague), Monday, 21 November 2005 11:45 (eighteen years ago) link
― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 21 November 2005 11:49 (eighteen years ago) link
― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Monday, 21 November 2005 11:54 (eighteen years ago) link
― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 21 November 2005 11:56 (eighteen years ago) link
I think that Statutory rape - rape in cases where the ability to give consent is diminished (such as through age or incapacity) - it may be more about sex or sexuality. But it just seems to be that it's more about predation. I don't know.
― The Damp Is Rising (kate), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:00 (eighteen years ago) link
― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:01 (eighteen years ago) link
― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:03 (eighteen years ago) link
yes, but it is *consensual*. "I allow you to have power and control over me in this limited situation"
Like most people on this thread have said, it's complicated. I have this "friend" who likes kinky sex - rough sex and B&D games and the like. She was raped when she was 13, and her early sexual experiences were non-consensual. Are the two things linked? Chicken and egg when you're talking about sexuality.
― The Damp Is Rising (kate), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:05 (eighteen years ago) link
The prosecution made the very sensible point that , even though the victim may not have actually said "no" because she was so drunk she could not speak, this did not meet the required test for informed consent.
In other words "she was hammered" is not an excuse.
A footballer was on trial for rape recently, and his defence was that she had consented to sex. He also happily admitted that she was paralytic, couldn't stand up and had been throwing up in the taxi home from the nightclub. Yet he still thought she was in a position to weigh up whether she wanted to have sex with him.
― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:39 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 12:48 (eighteen years ago) link
an interesting moral dilemma: perhaps the police have traumatised someone who otherwise would have lived in happy ignorance?
― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:49 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 12:51 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 12:57 (eighteen years ago) link
clearly have a degree of ambiguity for lawyers, prosecutors, etc. the issue here is not whether the woman 'asked to be raped', but of establishing what actually happened, what there was by way of explicit consent. in relationships you don't always have 'explicit consent' -- and there is such a thing as rape within relationships.
― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:57 (eighteen years ago) link
Which means that ultimate responsibilty lies with the man doing the raping.
I'm also somehow able to not steal a bike if it's left unlocked outside a shop, and not nick someone's wallet if I see it poking out of their pocket on the Tube. People do silly things, but the blame if a crime is committed lies with the criminal.
S'not rocket science.
― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 21 November 2005 12:58 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 12:58 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 12:59 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 13:00 (eighteen years ago) link
not analogous, though. iraqis killing US soldiers are not criminals, they aren't breaking any generally agreed laws. whereas the US troops using chem weapons and torturing iraqis are.
― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 21 November 2005 13:00 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 13:02 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 13:04 (eighteen years ago) link
(OK, perhaps technically the US are not "at war" with Iraq any more, but it's still an illegal occupation.)
― The Damp Is Rising (kate), Monday, 21 November 2005 13:06 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 13:07 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 13:09 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 13:10 (eighteen years ago) link
If two 14-year-olds have sex, the boy can be prosecuted for rape but not the girl. Which is odd, especially as a 14-year-old girl is emotionally much more grown-up than her male counterpart.
So there's some room for improvement in the law there, but I'd guess that women having sex with a man against his will is pretty rare compared to the other way around — the man has the more 'active' role in proceedings, and if he's really, really drunk any would-be female rapists will find themselves trying to play snooker with a length of rope, if you know what I mean.
― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 21 November 2005 13:11 (eighteen years ago) link
i certainly think that a women, not matter what state shes in or what shes wearing, is neither to blame nor responsible in any way if she is raped. but i think that there are certain conditions whihc might contribute to a rape occuring. its when a moral aspect comes in that i think judgements of this kind get twisted. there is a chance that if you control your drinking, cover up etc, you might be able to reduce the risk of rape, but this doesnt mean that there is moral force compelling you to do so, i think.
xpost i agree with trife that the idea that the woman should have to say no for sex to be declared non-consensual is freaky, given the power dynamic involved with sex why shouldnt there be a burden of proof that either partner said "yes", rather than "no"?
i dont expect to have to refuse everything that i dont want, i prefer to be asked if i do want them in most cases. why shouldnt this be the same in sex?
― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 21 November 2005 13:12 (eighteen years ago) link
Don't bank with NatWest, then.
― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 21 November 2005 13:14 (eighteen years ago) link
XXXXpost.
― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 21 November 2005 13:14 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 13:15 (eighteen years ago) link
Whew, that one almost got away from me there!
― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Monday, 21 November 2005 13:16 (eighteen years ago) link
― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 21 November 2005 13:16 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 13:17 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 13:19 (eighteen years ago) link
That's not what anyone's saying though. What I'm saying is that if you impair your senses through intake of chemicals to a point when you cannot avoid certain situations, then you have to take responsibility for getting yourself in a fucking mess where something bad can happen. Yes, the rapist is 100% to blame for the rape itself, which is an entirely reprehensible and disgusting act and not the behaviour of a normal, moral human being; but if you are blind drunk and are raped in a situation where you would not have been raped were you not blind drunk, well, you got yourself drunk. Same if you get beaten up. It's awful and horrendous and no one should be beaten up or raped, drunk or not, but there are assholes out there and if you've half a brain you should know that and take steps to avoid them.
Henry's made some very cogent points about different kinds of rape too, obviously.
XXXpost.
really nick? what if you werent paying total attention and were rear-ended by another vehicle, which seems much closer to rape than driving your car into a tree or something, does that person deserve to be shamed as well? what about if youve been in a car wreck of your own making, lost both your legs, and then i kick your crutches out from under you and rob you? hey maybe "responsibility" isnt as important as your tory ass thinks it is
If you're not paying attention and someone rear-ends your car then yes, pay fucking attention. Take responsibility for your own actions and be aware of the potential asshole actions of others. How this makes me a tory I'm not quite sure, except that accusing someone of being a tory when they extole not 100% sassy "not my fault" uber-liberal bullshit opinions is a common ILX habit. As is anonymity.
― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 21 November 2005 13:26 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 14:12 (eighteen years ago) link
drunkenness and immodesty are almost universally considered moral issues.
― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 21 November 2005 14:15 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 14:16 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 14:18 (eighteen years ago) link
― _, Monday, 21 November 2005 14:19 (eighteen years ago) link
― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 21 November 2005 14:21 (eighteen years ago) link
― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 21 November 2005 14:21 (eighteen years ago) link
― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 21 November 2005 14:22 (eighteen years ago) link
it's so normal pregnant women and toddlers do it.
― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 21 November 2005 14:24 (eighteen years ago) link
― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Monday, 21 November 2005 14:24 (eighteen years ago) link
― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 21 November 2005 14:25 (eighteen years ago) link
i understand that it adds a new dimension and appreciate that; it just feels like a slap in the face from men my own age.
in my personal opinion, a better way to discuss it is in terms of a very clear cut example of rape culture, where the dad defends his son's unconscionable behavior by railing on alcohol consumption and promiscuity instead of the violent act that his son committed. the judge gave a light sentence because he is part of rape culture too.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 19:04 (seven years ago) link
college, after college, high school -- it happened
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 19:05 (seven years ago) link
Oh definitely. H and I were talking about how this case is such a clear demonstration of "rape culture" being a real thing.
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 19:08 (seven years ago) link
I think it's the best framework to use when discussing this because it clearly demonstrates the structures that support rape culture.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 19:17 (seven years ago) link
same person had spoken up passionately about the UVA case during its time, being adamant that "we all have known some woman who faked a rape claim to get attention..."
Statistically, we all likely know more than one person who has been raped, and it's very unlikely most of us know anyone who faked a rape claim.
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 19:21 (seven years ago) link
From a facebook post of a (female, fwiw) friend of a friend:
when I was a dorm security guard at the front desk of a large dorm at our alma mater, I was told to not "bother" signing in the female guests of the athlete residents...so that there wouldn't be a written record of them having been there
seems there are always new ways to realize it really is that bad
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 19:36 (seven years ago) link
people who "know" people who "faked" a rape claim are often very loud about their garbage opinions on rape and tend to extrapolate their own "experience" out as an indicator of something more widespread or even conspiratorial, like my great grandmother's opinions on people of a certain race bc she was mugged by someone in the 1930s.
― nomar, Wednesday, 8 June 2016 19:38 (seven years ago) link
I sort of hope the collective outrage I'm seeing represents some kind of zeitgeist shift
I'd like to think so, but on more than one comment thread on this, I have honestly seen men make comments along the lines of "it wasnt rape, he only fingerbanged her". And they werent trolling, they seemed to genuinely think that made a difference.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 9 June 2016 05:44 (seven years ago) link
http://jezebel.com/prospective-jurors-refuse-to-serve-under-aaron-persky-1781618871
― a 47-year-old chainsaw artist from South Carolina (Phil D.), Thursday, 9 June 2016 21:47 (seven years ago) link
I didn't know you're allowed to do that as a juror, bow out because you don't like the judge. Or does the judge simply have discretion to allow that?
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 9 June 2016 22:18 (seven years ago) link
I think the judge probably has discretion to allow that, but I don't know the state rules. Usually there's a portion of voir dire where they ask you if there's any reason you think you wouldn't be able to serve objectively, and if you said "I have a problem with the judge" the lawyers doing the selecting would almost certainly dismiss you anyway.
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Thursday, 9 June 2016 22:21 (seven years ago) link
I didn't know you're allowed to do that
lol this was my first thought too
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 9 June 2016 22:28 (seven years ago) link
When I've gone in for jury duty the first thing the judge asks everyone is whether they have some kind of bias in regards to the justice system--either if you're related to DA or you're predisposed to not trust a cop. I'm sure telling the judge that you don't respect him personally will probably get you dropped like that.
― Blowout Coombes (President Keyes), Thursday, 9 June 2016 22:35 (seven years ago) link
I've always been hesitant to just up and say "I have a deeply rooted distrust of all cops" in a courtroom even though it's m/l true
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 9 June 2016 22:44 (seven years ago) link
https://frinkiac.com/meme/S04E06/714096.jpg?b64lines=IFRIRSBUUklDSyBJUyBUTyBTQVkKIFlPVSdSRSBQUkVKVURJQ0VEIEFHQUlOU1QKIEFMTCBSQUNFUy4=
― a 47-year-old chainsaw artist from South Carolina (Phil D.), Thursday, 9 June 2016 23:32 (seven years ago) link
Wow that Jez article indicates that the judge has form in this area, which makes it even more disgusting.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 10 June 2016 00:22 (seven years ago) link
got into really aggravating fb arguments with friends over sentencing leniency and how this is really not the case to hang your hat on when it comes to the whole harsh-prison-sentences-are-bad thing.
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Friday, 10 June 2016 06:26 (seven years ago) link
there's this inherent grossness in how sex as a depersonalized act is both incentivized and demonized depending on context and who is involved
I have been disconnecting from so many media sources this week, made easier because I've been on vacation, but it's been gnawing away at the back of my mind.
sex isn't inherently good or bad. sex requires mutual consent and interest. the phrase "getting some action" or some variation thereof, which the rapist's father in this current case in the media used, is an indicator that there's some inherent value in one individual pursuing a sex act regardless of whether the other party can give consent, because it's somehow still an inherent good to that mindset even if you're perpetrating the act on someone who can't give consent, or has expressly denied consent.
there's something at the root to many of these cases that fall between what people see as pure acts of violence (which rape, at its root, is) and the supposed murkiness of drunken actions or mixed signals or whatever is used to brush a lack of communication under the rug
honestly, these things make me question my own past actions and those of people I know, as far as whether I had sex when I didn't necessarily want to because it's "what you do" when drunk and hooking up or w/e. and whether I misread cues or was the stereotypical man pushing and testing boundaries in some situations instead of backing off when it was clear I should have
I don't think we can continue to be lenient. but there needs to be some serious reflection in society when a number of people think that an act between two people where one person is praised and the other told they should be ashamed is normalized. we're still at the point where "got some action" and "shouldn't have let him" are the viewpoints of perpetrators and some of their authority figures are reinforcing that view
― μpright mammal (mh), Friday, 10 June 2016 21:25 (seven years ago) link
On the same day, on the same site:
http://wonkette.com/605534/teen-tennis-player-who-sexually-assaulted-autistic-girl-will-not-have-future-ruined-by-prisonIt’s so weird how this keeps happening, right? You know, like it just happened with Brock Turner, and his beautiful future that no one wanted to dare ruin! Jeez, it is almost like if you are a white teen athlete, and you sexually assault someone, people are really concerned about how that might affect your future! Read more at http://wonkette.com/605534/teen-tennis-player-who-sexually-assaulted-autistic-girl-will-not-have-future-ruined-by-prison#VWG0vX911mfLCGtW.99
http://wonkette.com/605513/lets-talk-about-juanita-broaddrick
can absolutely see Bill Clinton doing this (then, not now) and not even thinking of it as rape, but thinking of it as dominant, alpha sex. I can see a LOT of men doing that during that time period, before we started telling them in the ’80s, “hey, that is rape, do not do that.” I can see YOUR NICE GRANDPA doing that, back then.***Rape is about power, not sex.” For those for whom it’s about power, those are the serial rapist guys, and they hate women and want to punish us. But I don’t think that’s in every case. I think good men can rape, and be sorry, and not do it again. This is very bad feminism.***To sum up, I think Bill Clinton could very well have raped Juanita Broaddrick; that it doesn’t make him an evil man, or irredeemable (I’m Catholic; we’re all forgiven, if we’re sorry, and Broaddrick says Bill Clinton personally called her up to apologize). It doesn’t even necessarily make him a bad feminist — you know, later, once he stops doing that.
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Wednesday, 17 August 2016 14:38 (seven years ago) link
Thought this revive was going to be about Kurt Metzger.
http://www.dailydot.com/irl/kurt-metzger-sexual-assault-amy-schumer-twitter-block/
― how's life, Wednesday, 17 August 2016 14:55 (seven years ago) link
xpost that last half of the last sentence is worthy of the site being taken down.
― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 17 August 2016 14:57 (seven years ago) link
Yeah I p much felt like wonkette should be deleted after I read that, especially coming from its publisher.
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Wednesday, 17 August 2016 15:05 (seven years ago) link
Also, as if it weren't enough "once he stops doing that," oh you mean other than the time he abused the oval office to have an affair with a young intern.
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Wednesday, 17 August 2016 15:06 (seven years ago) link
my alma mater, byu, finally getting into some hot water over this. way overdue. that place is a patriarchal cesspool.
― bagging area (map), Wednesday, 17 August 2016 15:08 (seven years ago) link
and institutionally vulnerable because it's so opaque re: its retrograde policies about student bodies. i can't lie i'll be more gratified the more they get punished for it, but also if it leads to change in de-fanging the honor code it would have a real effect on hundreds of students who get caught in that horrible whirlpool every year.
― bagging area (map), Wednesday, 17 August 2016 15:16 (seven years ago) link
This has to be fake, right?
https://twitter.com/realbrockturner
― the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Wednesday, 14 September 2016 16:25 (seven years ago) link
Brock Turner @realbrockturner June 29Loving the new #HeterosexualPrideDay hashtag! #Proud #Swimmer #Hetero
I'm pretty sure this is a troll account
― one way street, Wednesday, 14 September 2016 16:32 (seven years ago) link