Tragic Football Stories - Let us Kick Around the misshapen Jabulani that is English football right here

Jon Miquel Toral Harper, the attacking midfielder who will join Arsenal this summer due to a loophole from Barcelona is half English.

An attacking playmaker from Barcelona is half English.

He only left Barc-e-fucking-lona because he wanted to go back to England. Barca wanted him to stay and supposedly be fast-tracked into Barca B.

If England let this guy slide and become a Spanish international, then this national team deserves to lose everything.

(I have no idea whether he is any good or not.)

Little Johnny Harper, you mean?

Jonathan Michael Tony 'arper, yes.

EBJMTH actually.

http://www.cleansheetsallround.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Jon-Miquel-Toral-Harper-Arsenal.jpg

Like Robert Johnson, only one photo of the kid appears to exist. He hasn't even got his eyes open in it.

It's Johann Cruyff!!

probably safest to call up every Spanish teenager with English eligibility for the Wales game just in case.

i know, right?

this 'capello handled the terry captaincy thing badly' *thing* is a load of bollocks isn't it? first thing that was reported was that he was meeting with the fa to discuss the possibility of reinstating terry wasn't it? he didn't actually say to the press 'JT's skipper, bad luck rio' did he?

Ideally I'd say he's made an arse of it by making it an issue at all - just give it to the guy with most caps and neutralise the issue. But it clearly does matter to England in a way it doesn't for other countries (why is that, exactly?) so that wouldn't've worked either. He's probably done as best he can - Terry pretty clearly has the strongest personality/most stamina here so is the right choice I guess. If there was a mistake it was ditching him in the first place, but then what choice was there at the time?

I wish it didn't matter though, it's only one more thing to go wrong/give primadonnas an excuse to do something other than their jobs.

last sentence otm

The media has blown this up in order to undermind Capello, it's so obvious. Simmering resentment between Rio and EBJT might be a problem at international level but I'd be surprised if they play that many more games together. I can see Rio retiring from international football before long to concentrate on avoiding injuries/prolonging his domestic game.

Agree with Ismael. Don't understand why it's such a thing. Just give it to the guy most sure of his place and who doesn't mind having to front up to the press every game. So really Rooney (who I doubt wants it) Ashley Cole, or (my choice) Joe Hart. On that Sky sports journalist show the other day they were all horrified at the idea of a goalie being captain - too far away from the other players, can't communicate with the forwards etc etc. Just bollocks. Spain seem to muddle through with Casillas just about.

god knows what the press are gonna moan about when their mate 'arry gets the job.

apart from the players obviously. i'm sure they'll still be providing the lols.

Just give it to the guy most sure of his place and who doesn't mind having to front up to the press every game

Haha thing is that's probably Terry.

What about a rolling captaincy where everybody gets a turn except Terry?

god knows what the press are gonna moan about when their mate 'arry gets the job.

― territory of the magic wand (Chris), Tuesday, March 22, 2011 5:11 PM

hopefully he performs as well for england as he's done for us, then he won't have to. media relations are only really a big deal when you're fucking things up in your actual primary job as a football manager.

it is gonna be redknapp btw innit?

will he get hired if his legal issues aren't cleared up?

Well since he's totally innocent of the charge the Inland Revenue has brought against him and has never been involved in any dodgy deals in his life and lives in a hermitage with his Mrs and his dog I'm sure he'll be acquitted in court and free to take up the post, yeah.

yeah

He'll need to do better for England than he's so far done for us. As it is he's a quarter-finals kinda manager and that's not been enough to save England managers in the past. England playing decent football would help though.

lol at the idea that anyone stays a media darling when they become england manager

^^^

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/mar/31/football-association-david-conn-gareth-southgate

We played so many teams who could keep the ball better, their technique was better. Other players in the teams I played in acknowledged that; everybody recognised it.

I know that, you know that, everybody knows that - but I'm still surprised that the players know it. No wonder they lose against every decent side they play, if mentally they're half-beaten before they make it onto the pitch (and can't keep the ball, obviously).

"English type of player" is shorthand for "big, aggressive, shit", right?

that sort of sentiment is common enough from the likes of brooking, yet 'big, aggressive shit' has an inertial force like none other

£35m for the world's best championship centre forward

HE'S GOT AN INTERNATIONAL GOAL HE IS INTERNATIONAL CLASS OBV

you missed 'end of'

I like Gareth Southgate, but he has the kind of refreshingly honest approach that will probably see him torn to pieces by fans and the media.

Damn I am gonna incorporate more "end of" from now on

Ohjoeyjoey
Kopite


Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 221
Ohjoeyjoey is a splendid one to beholdOhjoeyjoey is a splendid one to beholdOhjoeyjoey is a splendid one to beholdOhjoeyjoey is a splendid one to beholdOhjoeyjoey is a splendid one to beholdOhjoeyjoey is a splendid one to behold
Crest Big Andy Carroll
(to the tune of "Roll Out The Barrell)

Big Andy Carroll,
He's gonna score in the red
Big Andy Carroll,
Scores with his feet or his head
Who is Fernando?
That's what the Kopites will sing
All stand up for big Andy Carroll
Andy is our King.

anthony stoked for the madness of carroll's lfc career, dude is gonna pwn hard umo

umo will be devastated to lose his 'hard' soubriquet

uruguays mickey owen?

oic

Amazing - just walked past Andy Gray on hungerford bridge, talking into his mobile, and I promise you, absolutely no word of a lie, the only word I caught was 'sexist'.

I know it's not the right thread but it was too fun not to post and it did seem pretty tragic.

superb

tho I am now worried I saw him and projected onto some "elephant shoe" formation.

no comment, but wow

what a hit son, what a hit.

I love this miserable bastard

Newcastle United's Joey Barton has said England will "never win" the World Cup, and dismissed Gareth Barry's role in the midfield as evidence of a lack of talent.

"France killed us at Wembley," Barton said. "We English will play the next 50 World Cups and we'll never win one. The people in charge at the FA played football maybe 50 or 60 years ago and still think that we can win a World Cup in the same way we did in 1966.

"We're too focused on tradition in England, like always having to play 4-4-2. Sometimes you need to experiment, drop a bit deeper so you have more space to move into. France, Italy and Germany have done it. We've been doing the same thing for 20 years," he added in an interview with the French So Foot magazine.

Barton won just one England cap, in 2007 against Spain, but still believes he has a role to play in Fabio Capello's team: "Honestly, I think I'm the best (English midfielder). Luka Modric and Samir Nasri are very good, but in terms of English players ... Well, Jack Wilshere isn't bad, but Frank Lampard's on the way down and Steven Gerrard's been injured a lot."

He backed this argument, with criticism of Gareth Barry: "Did you see the game against Germany at the World Cup? If you watch the fourth goal, when (Mesut) Ozil was up against Barry, it was like the hare and the tortoise.

"Barry's got a very good agent. He's also discreet and always agrees with the manager. He's like the guy who sits in the front row and listens
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/apr/07/joey-barton-england-world-cup

"it was like the hare and the tortoise."

I don't think he read the end of this book.

loving Joey Barton doesn't even feel wrong any more

nonxp ha!

Barry really got the best of Ozil when they swapped shirts at the end tho.

He's also discreet and always agrees with the manager.

Little known fact: Barton's house is strewn with really lovely lace doilies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzXqf_YNyd4

every time some article about english teams needing to learn how to keep the ball like barca crops up (as with lacey on the graun blog today) i think of this goal

some good fundamentals there