Blue Saturday

i forgot the old fake irish bar appendage to the mainbrace in my list of much loved pubs, and the mainbrace itself, spent a glorious new years eve in there one time off my swede on mushrooms thinking i'd got a glowing sign on my head saying "this dude's on mushrooms"

i miss hallucinogens

booze is a ready, loving, companiable buddy for ALL TIME tho

it was all-encompassing dismissal of discussion of all higher modes of though tbh

For drinking purposes, that is. Time and a place, time and a place

exackly

sport and giant animatronic goat-fucker tableaux are ideal pub convos tbh

don't even take my "oh pity poor me i is so sad" face to the boozer, it is NOT THE PLACE

i wouldnt trust booze with my money or missus but i'll go drinking with him alright.

not that i is so sad, i am kinda focused and edgy and probly not real level-headed but sadness is sort of not there except an impending "i like where this relationship is going" gif sadness and wondering hmmm can i keep up a veneer of not-great for another 10 years or so until the kids are all safely launched

goat fucker convo def has icebreaker value

he is an hull legend. shd definitely feature in the publicity blurb imo, also he is one of those dudes where everybody you meet knows somebody who knows him

but this is like the biggest village in the world so

six degrees of separation in hull = about 3

fond memories of P4ul H34ton allegedly fending off Poll Tax bailiffs with an air rifle from his Grafton Street mansion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sNffR-yTA4

our civic anthem

reckon a goatfucker or similar on the sound bridge would put achill on the map

Ok, on phone, in body lotion section of an actual irl fancy dept store, and my full attn is required. Continue at yr own pace will check validity of the remainder of thread later

suddenly I have Depeche Mode's "Just Can't Get Enough" with the lyric changed to "Just Can't Get It Up" stuck in my head as a good idea for a Weird Al song

am not even dressed yet but gotta admit the water on the windows did inspire a bit of "oh sweet (not)..." earlier. mostly just glad to be the not at work though evne if this afternoon fails in my quest to do anything productive 4th week running.

lucky I have the new Radiohead album to listen to, high spirits ahead!

"body lotion section" is boggling and lol

dude are you stuck in Dublin now I forget?

i am inspired by people's not liking of the new Radionhead, and people saying it is all low key and tune-light, those are excellent qualities in a Radionhead rekkid to my mind

toothpaste aisle? I kind of love and hate Big Tesco

Big Tesco has some great shit in it but I hardly go in any more, also it feels like a chore to trek all the way to the back of it, also the bastards took the pork and pickle pies off the deli counter

conventional pork pies don't do it for me any more, i need pickle in there or i need to be at home where i can smother that shit in mustard

something 50 Cent-ish about that last line

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQR0JgJO74s

This, btw gentlemen, is a FUCKING TUNE

is there much C&W on the Queen's jukebox, i don't remember and i feel a need? also lol my wife is gonna kill me hooray

jesus no not in dublin ffs

Tho i have days, god help me, it almost tempts as a final surrender

Pringles don't seem to do Wasabi flavour or Lime and Chilli flavour any more, I am a bit heartbroken, bastards

Marty Robbins fucking rules

wot big city u exiled in then D?

and why have we got no ice cube bags in the house bollocks

so tempted to text my eldest boy for a sesh but ah hell i'm gonna fuck this

i'm gonna. full stop. fuck this

nearest big city is an hour south, not sure galway is as big as hull tho?

not been to galway. i wd guess not, seeing as how Letterkenny is a teeming metropolis and it's about the size of the pit village i grew up in

it's what saturday is for! x-post...boozing i meant.

am about to get up and cook an omelette with some pancetta. might hold off boozing till this evening. have a lovely bottle of wine in the fridge tho...

dammit my eldest has gone to his mother's for the weekend the twat

the boy, not his mum. we get along fine

just made a Snowball, feels mad decadent in February.

think it's Merle Haggard time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XeBn3AXeUc

suspect that having a drink is gonna be took for being drunk, may need to flee the scene when i've done this snowball, badly need somebody to txt and give me an excuse

the fact that there doesn't seem to be a Youtube of Merle's version of "Wishing All These Old Things Were New" is sort of a national disgrace.

it's funny, in my head i'm 20 but in the mirror i'm a fat old cunt

OH THE IRONY OF MORTALITY

there's something out there that's not in here, but i don't think anybody knows what it is, for two gross of broken statues, for a few thousand battered books. it's a poor do really. don't think we've made the best of the situation as a species

Hi Noodle. John Terry tried to do a stepover in the corner a minute ago, kicked the ball onto his standing leg and out for a goal kick. Blue Saturday nothing.

:D

there mayn't be a god, but karma has a sharp sense of humour sometimes

thx for inspiring me to start my day with some non-alignment pact

i used to have a thing about how people from hull should fuck off our philip larkin but i have recently begun to wonder if hull needs him more than cov does. yr thoughts?

i think cov probly needs him a little more, i've never found it an inspirational place whereas hull wd be hull with or without big Phil Silvers. they put a statue of him up in the train station now. to be fair he did all his useful work here and he seems to have felt at home in the place whilst still feeling not at home. only Cov poem I can remember is based on the train station platform i think? could be wrong.

Hull already has a decent claim to Douglas Dunn, Peter Didsbury, maybe Seaon O'Brien and now David Wheatley. Think Cov needs Larkin more tbh.

thing is, as i say, he's obviously a Hull poet in a way that he totally isn't about Cov

yeah, tbh he was rid of cov as soon as he could be and never looked back.

triggered a memory of some 'celebrating coventry' bullshit that the city put on, the main element of which seemed to be putting up lots of those lampost banner things in town with pictures of famous coventrians. the highlight of the whole thing was an oversized poster with an artist's rending of sir frank whittle with one arm around pip larkin and the other pointing to the skies. i loved my city that day.

ah, we sure do love us some engineering in the midlands

lol

it's only recently I've discovered that sometimes talking about desperately unpalatable shit that is going on in your life in a semi formal kind of manner with a mh worker can actually help. But now after 6 months of it they've closed my file for now because there are other similar basket-cases like me who are needing help and they have to ration it out. I don't know what point I'm trying to make here, but I think sometimes it does help to get things in the open - even if it isn't good stuff.

i've had to sit thru 4 zoom lectures about CBT just to earn the right to get a counsellor. irony is i've been making solid progress since the start of the year, this weekend has been a wobble but i'll get thru. the internal suicide mantra, been a week or more, idk i think it might be my inner demon shouting louder for want of attention

problem with self-loathing is how can you be sure you're not right?

i think i wish i could unstick my gears, but i'm not sure if i don't revel in being stuck, else why would i stick like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pOe92skrBg

I have started to say
"A quarter of a century"
Or "thirty years back"
About my own life.

It makes me breathless
It's like falling and recovering
In huge gesturing loops
Through an empty sky.

All that's left to happen
Is some deaths (my own included).
Their order, and their manner,
Remain to be learnt

Huge passages of time have the capability to really mess with your mind and sense of self.

I still have things on my mental 'to do' list that I added in the early 2000s and haven't got round to yet - and that seems like just a few years ago. I alternate between despair/regret at 30 -40 years gone, and the thought that it's meaningless to think about now those years have vanished into the past. The only thing that matters - if anything matters about those years - is whether they contained beautiful or interesting moments that I appreciated at the time. Hopefully more interesting and beautiful moments to come.

Sometimes when I’m half awake I think of a pleasant memory from 20 years ago and it puts me in a nice relaxed state and I fall back asleep

i think mostly i don't "regret" because time's an unstoppable movement and as you say Bob it's kind of meaningless. the loops and whooshes in that Larkin poem tho - i remember reading it at 18 and understanding what was said but not having any sense of that feeling. now that feeling and that poem spend days hanging around

I have more problems with the present I think: eg often instead of enjoying this present moment, I’m so often cranky and irritable from the indignities of life and unable to relax despite my best intentions and the knowledge that I’m just sabotaging myself.

well yeah, that's one of the reasons it seemed best to mostly abandon this thread

i'm weirded out sometimes now by what feels almost like performing my age. it probably doesn't belong on the pile of things that are actually bad and make me sad tho

akshully maybe the majority of things that are making me sad now are things that people in their mid-fifties don't have to deal with if they made better life choices than me

Sometimes when I’m half awake I think of a pleasant memory from 20 years ago and it puts me in a nice relaxed state and I fall back asleep

i wonder if we can all do this but forget that we can do it when we're too focused on the downers

Houellebecq wrote in one of his worst novels when ruminating on nostalgia that the present is like an "abscess of suffering" we have to drag about with us, caught between the infinities of happiness and peace that are the past and the future. It was one of them beautifully concise lines of writing that rung a bell with me at the time and stuck with me, wasn't so sure about him including the future in this though!