Beeps and I were at McDonald's on Saturday where an employee (who was young and, as I would reluctantly point out, a bit dimwitted) came by our table. He asked how old she was and I told him almost four. Then he asked if I was her grandfather.
Now, I had gone out and stayed past curfew for the first time in awhile the night before. I was unshaven, wearing my glasses and a checkered flannel shirt. But man, even from someone who appeared to not be all there, it kind of hit hard. Even after the guy moseyed on, Beeps picked up on it right away.
B: "That man said you were my grandfather."PP: "Yes, I heard him."
OLD WOMAN IN BOOTH BEHIND US: "It's okay! You don't look that old!"
Anyway. I think Beeps thinks she's found something useful to use in conversation. Like yesterday, as we were getting ready for me to take her and her little brother over to my dad's house.
B: "Where are we going?"PP: "You're going to spend the afternoon with your grandparents."B: "I'm going to spend the afternoon with you?"PP: "I'm not your grandfather!"B: "Well, everyone says you are."
From upstairs, I could hear Sunny exploding with laughter. She's the one who transcribed the above conversation.
― http://tinyurl.com/lil-shits (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 14 February 2011 18:29 (thirteen years ago) link
Hah.
Not quite as bad, but from Howie who'd drawn a picture of his family the other day: "That one is Daddy, that one is Howie and that one is Archie. And that one (points at short stumpy one) is you, Mummy, because you are very short."
― Meg (Meg Busset), Monday, 14 February 2011 22:51 (thirteen years ago) link
"I'm not a snack, I'm a person!"
― never meant to heart anyone (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 17 February 2011 16:51 (thirteen years ago) link
omg
― ENBB, Thursday, 17 February 2011 16:51 (thirteen years ago) link
That was too all of the recent updates btw.
― ENBB, Thursday, 17 February 2011 16:52 (thirteen years ago) link
On rainforest fauna:
'Is the rainforest where reindeer live?''Is it called an aye-aye because it has two eyes?'
― Archel, Friday, 18 February 2011 12:14 (thirteen years ago) link
Ben (looking at a picture on my shirt): "That's a barrel."
Owen: "Keep your paws to yourself is a bear-rule."
― schwantz, Sunday, 20 February 2011 15:59 (thirteen years ago) link
clver!
― ullr saves (gbx), Sunday, 20 February 2011 19:46 (thirteen years ago) link
During a conversation about where babies come from:
Howie: "When me and Archie were in your tummy we played lots of games together."Me: "I don't think you were in my tummy at the same time as Archie. You came out two years earlier."Howie (brightly): "That means I won!"
― Meg (Meg Busset), Sunday, 20 February 2011 19:54 (thirteen years ago) link
Ah, but ...
I was explaining the whole "eggs in mummy's tummy" business.Alice: "But how did the eggs get there?"Me: "They were all there when Mummy was born"Alice: "hmm. So, that means My egg and Amber's egg are exactly the same age"Me: ".... yeah!"Alice: (saying nothing, but now has decided Amber doesn't have 2 years superiority anymore)― Mark G, Friday, 13 February 2009 11:10 (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Alice: "But how did the eggs get there?"Me: "They were all there when Mummy was born"Alice: "hmm. So, that means My egg and Amber's egg are exactly the same age"Me: ".... yeah!"Alice: (saying nothing, but now has decided Amber doesn't have 2 years superiority anymore)
― Mark G, Friday, 13 February 2009 11:10 (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
So, Howie and Archie were definitely in, at the same time!
― Mark G, Monday, 21 February 2011 10:11 (thirteen years ago) link
Proven by science!
― Archel, Monday, 21 February 2011 12:16 (thirteen years ago) link
Lulu made a sort of dog today, from crepe paper and plastic. "Daddy, he's very strong and if you try to break him, he will set you on fire." "Wow, what's his name?" (pause) "His name is If You Try To Break Him He Will Set You On Fire."
― Michael Jones, Friday, 4 March 2011 00:02 (thirteen years ago) link
And They Will Know Him By the Trail of People Who Tried to Break Him and Were Subsequently et on Fire
― You hurt me deeply. You hurt me deeply in my heart. (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 4 March 2011 00:46 (thirteen years ago) link
No, you see, Daddy He's Very Strong and If You Try To Break Him He Will Set You On Fire is the name of my dog.
― Pleasant Plains, Friday, 4 March 2011 01:20 (thirteen years ago) link
"Mummy, you are good at telling off, and opening."
― Meg (Meg Busset), Friday, 4 March 2011 18:08 (thirteen years ago) link
Me: Cole can you pick up that (unused) diaper on the floor please?Cole: Daddy, that is NOT a diaper, THAT is a pull-up.Me: Ok pal.
― OLD MAN YELLS AT SHOUT RAP (chrisv2010), Friday, 4 March 2011 18:47 (thirteen years ago) link
I have that exact same conversation once a week.
― Pleasant Plains, Friday, 4 March 2011 18:51 (thirteen years ago) link
this is not as exciting as many of these updates, but my 18-month old exclaims "OHHHH DUDE!" whenever she sees an airplane.
― tylerw, Sunday, 6 March 2011 20:59 (thirteen years ago) link
hahahahaha
― ENBB, Sunday, 6 March 2011 20:59 (thirteen years ago) link
i guess it is an appropriate response to seeing an airplane.
― tylerw, Sunday, 6 March 2011 21:10 (thirteen years ago) link
totally
― ENBB, Sunday, 6 March 2011 21:10 (thirteen years ago) link
whenever cole see an airplane he yells out "BUZZ LIGHTYEAR TO FINITEE AND BEYON"
― OLD MAN YELLS AT SHOUT RAP (chrisv2010), Monday, 7 March 2011 15:14 (thirteen years ago) link
"daddy i washed my WEINER"
where the f did he learn that one.
― The Scenario (chrisv2010), Wednesday, 16 March 2011 17:46 (thirteen years ago) link
not a sentence, but this morning my son did a gigantic poo in his potty (he is potty training) and disappeared behind the door on his way to empty it out in the toilet - he came back a second later kind of grinning and held up his hand for a high-five
― 40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 16 March 2011 17:49 (thirteen years ago) link
(and then went and emptied it)
― 40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 16 March 2011 17:50 (thirteen years ago) link
haha. i am scared of potty training, but i guess we'll have to get going on it soon. our friends with a slightly older kid did this potty training "boot camp" kind of thing where it was like an intense weekend of not leaving the house ... which sounded terrible, but it seems to have worked? anyhoo, my daughter's main verbal thing now is "book-a-book-a-book-a!" repeated over and over when she wants to read a book. or read another book.
― tylerw, Wednesday, 16 March 2011 17:56 (thirteen years ago) link
From last Friday: "I hope Godzilla's okay."
― kkvgz, Thursday, 17 March 2011 01:14 (thirteen years ago) link
: |
― kkvgz, Thursday, 17 March 2011 01:15 (thirteen years ago) link
Oh, and he's got the chorus to Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" stuck in his head too.
― kkvgz, Thursday, 17 March 2011 01:24 (thirteen years ago) link
"WWGD?"
― Mark G, Friday, 18 March 2011 09:35 (thirteen years ago) link
> "I hope Godzilla's okay."
don't let him watch the very first godzilla film - they explode all the oxygen in the water where he is and the last thing you see is his ribcage settling on the bottom.
luckily for the franchise this is followed by a scientist saying that further nuclear testing could easily produce more godzillas.
― koogs, Friday, 18 March 2011 09:39 (thirteen years ago) link
Yeah, he thinks black and white is boring anyways. : )
― Algae-Eating Bowlkeeper (kkvgz), Friday, 18 March 2011 09:49 (thirteen years ago) link
BEEPS: You should grow a mustache.
ME: You don't think you'd get just a little scared if I started walking around with a mustache?
BEEPS: Well. You don't have to grow a REALLY BIG mustache! [holds her hands out to imaginary cat whiskers.]
― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 31 March 2011 17:29 (thirteen years ago) link
Me personally, I find the smaller mustaches even scarier.
aw
― kkvgz, Thursday, 31 March 2011 17:30 (thirteen years ago) link
once very cheerfully yelled to my pal "see you later, asshole!" as our parents were taking us home from preschool. my mom was not, uh, thrilled
― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Tuesday, March 17, 2009 4:54 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
I am LOLing so hard here...
― phantoms from a world gone by speak again the immortal tale: (Jenny), Thursday, 31 March 2011 18:57 (thirteen years ago) link
Yesterday, at preschool:
Teacher: So when you breathe in (mimes breathing in, shows her chest puff out), where does the air go?Other Kid: Your stomach?Teacher: No...Ben: Oh! Your boobies!
― schwantz, Thursday, 31 March 2011 19:57 (thirteen years ago) link
It's a wonder more babies don't get the hiccups.
― Pleasant Plains, Thursday, 31 March 2011 20:00 (thirteen years ago) link
"I'm a sassy pooper!"
you sure are, kid
― The Everybody Buys 1000 Aerosmith Albums A Month Club (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 18:25 (thirteen years ago) link
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 18:31 (thirteen years ago) link
Old People Say The Darndest Things would of been a good show
― cold hands of monkeys on my heart (CaptainLorax), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 20:08 (thirteen years ago) link
Would be called "Kind of LOL But Mostly Sad"
― the wages of sin is about tree fiddy (WmC), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 20:10 (thirteen years ago) link
Ava has started to convene twice-daily meetings in her bedroom where she is the mayor and she tells us her opinions and summarises recent events. She reverses the big armchair, clambers in, leans on a cushion and delivers her speech. It lasts about 20min.
Last night I got the lowdown on how practically everyone in her class had dressed on World Book Day (of course, on WBD itself she was totally unforthcoming about this - we had to wait until she rolled out the info) and "things I like about my sister". This included "things she makes from Lego - you can see an example of her work over there" and "her love for hippos". I also learned that the plush hippos are called "Spotius" and "Big Fat" or, alternatively, "Surrey Hike" and "Plantar Boardby".
"The next mayor meeting is at ONE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING and I need both you and Mummy to be there." Thankfully we had it at 7:15am instead.
Lulu has also been invited to participate. She mostly talks about her bunny and pulls hilarious faces.
― Michael Jones, Thursday, 21 April 2011 09:56 (thirteen years ago) link
What band's EP would look like this?
1. Spotius2. Big Fat3. Surrey Hike4. Plantar Boardby
― Evil Eau (dog latin), Thursday, 21 April 2011 09:59 (thirteen years ago) link
Deerhunter
― The Everybody Buys 1000 Aerosmith Albums A Month Club (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 21 April 2011 15:44 (thirteen years ago) link
"things she makes from Lego - you can see an example of her work over there"
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 A V A <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
― Back up the lesbian canoe (Laurel), Thursday, 21 April 2011 15:52 (thirteen years ago) link
also
"things I like about my sister . . . her love for hippos"
hysterical
show Lulu this picture of a mama and baby hippo - I bet she'd love it: http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/216392_10150179343042147_28896772146_6800898_746566_n.jpg
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Thursday, 21 April 2011 16:02 (thirteen years ago) link
Haaa...Michael, that is fantastic.
― calling planet smurf (sunny successor), Friday, 22 April 2011 08:34 (thirteen years ago) link
Lulu was totally charmed by the hippo picture, btw!
― Michael Jones, Friday, 22 April 2011 14:27 (thirteen years ago) link
:D
― \(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Friday, 22 April 2011 15:23 (thirteen years ago) link