Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

one of the ladies here (not piss vag) just came in my office chomping as loud as she possibly could on a carrot. Grr.

okay I had to search through the thread for the genesis of that reference and thank you for the new display name

OMG SHE IS TALKING IN BABY TALK

WHOMEVER JUST LEFT THE OPEN SMOKED SALMON SITTING ON THE FUCKING TABLE IN THE BREAKROOM! SERIOUSLY? Next week you'll complain about the mouse problem again. You'll thank me i threw it out when there is a black bear in the breakroom rather than a couple of mouse turds.

Why's it have to be a "black" bear, Chris?

what do u have against black bears, San Te

Lol I get an instant message intended for the dude with the extremely similar name to mine. I politely ask if dude meant to contact the other guy and spelled out the name, and he says "oh, right".

Three seconds later he sends me the same cut/pasted instant message again.

IM needs a death ray

good afternoon piss vag, can you please remove your shit encrusted fingernails off my desk.

Ugh, dear boss: don't message me saying "why did I nto know about this issue, can you come see me and go over it?" when I have BEEN CC'ING YOU ON EVERY MAIL BETWEEN ME, CUSTOMER AND THE TELCO SINCE DECEMBER >:|

If you dont bother reading your email then I cant be bothered chasing it up.

y'know I miss contributing to this thread but like the last two weeks have been Heaven so alas I can't!

Well, what sort of attitude is that?

it's my backhanded way of saying "thank you dear GOD for letting me change departments!"

Dear quasi-boss who isn't really my boss: stop trying to show off to our bigwig visitor by referring to the 'waterfront' ahead. The accepted metaphor is 'horizon' and it doesn't need replacing, and watching you doing so makes me cringe. Or say 'outlook'. Or 'future'.

what.

My boss who isn't really my boss repeated the phrase "all very positive signs" more than 5 times in her presentation of last year's numbers. The thing is, if you were to look at the data in a fair and balanced way, there were no positive signs at all. However, to say so would really hurt the feelings of those people in my organization who didn't actually want to do any work, so we had to provide her with numbers that she could spin. God, it's such an empty charade.

Ha is he confusing with "watershed" or something maybe Ljub?

I'd forgive him that. But I bet some twat in London has started using it and he's just straight out copying.

Sure, my new position here is a little overwhelming, but I'll get the hang of it. I can even tolerate the desperately sad "Kid Rock says that there ain't no party like a Detroit party 'cause a Detroit party don't stop!" during an online/conference call presentation (if for other reason than that it's a good story to tell people about how this company has eaten peoples' souls). And I appreciate the fact that you're mentoring me. You've been very helpful. But when you whisper to a co-worker whose cube is adjacent to mine about how they should assist me, that tells me two things: 1) you think I can't hear you when I'm one foot away, and 2) wouldn't sending an e-mail to said co-worker be a more effective means of surreptitious communication than whispering?

Woohoo, I accepted a new job and put in my two weeks' notice today! The problem wasn't with my co-workers (who all said "Good for you. I wish I could find a new job") but the higher-ups in other cities who I've never met. Like my ineffective boss. And whoever it was above him who decided that the person who takes over my overwhelming, underpaid, full-time position shouldn't have health insurance. Oh man, this company can suck it.

lol

What's their reasoning for not giving him/her health insurance?

I'm interested to hear that too. Assuming this is a U.S. Company that provides pre-tax benefits (and please tell me is either are not the case), an employer cannot legally just arbitrarily choose who to give insurance to.

The IRS requires that the company's official " plan document" house plan eligibility rules, and they must amend them going forward.

So unless this person was in a class already deemed ineligible or they're changing the plan, it sounds like they are breaking the law, and the IRS could disqualify the plan if they found out.

Of course that is all heavily based on multiple assumptions on my part!

They may be doing what Wal-Mart does--keeping this person's hours just under the full-time mark so that they don't have to give benefits.

Yea, that's how most companies get around it, cuz all that is is keeping someone from meeting the minimum eligibility requirements.

That's why places like Best Buy hire mostly part-timers.

supervisor: oh so I heard from VH that you were late to a meeting with her?
me: What?! No, I wasn't. I called and asked her if we could push back a meeting we had by 1/2 an hour because I was running a bit late. She agreed and I was there a few minutes before the newly agreed upon time.
supervisor: oh well she's sorta . . . yeah . . . *makes crazy face*

DEAR VH: FUCK YOU. YOU ARE WITHOUT A DOUBT THE MOST OBNOXIOUSLY TYPE A PERSON I'VE EVER MET AND I HATE YOU. YOU REALLY HAD TO SAY SOMETHING TO MY SUPERVISOR ABOUT THAT? I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG SO BASICALLY WHAT YOU SAID WAS A LIE. I HATE YOU YOU ANAL RETENTIVE ANNOYING LIAR.

I stab VH with my brain!

I just started a new job and it is unnervingly slow. I am used to being overworked and underappreciated! My old company would have considered this workload a part-time job. I rejoice!

They're calling it a "full-time contract position." The job listing is up on the site now (I work for a well-known media company) and commenters have already noticed the lack of benefits and compared us to WalMart. Nice. Of course, in this economic climate, I'm sure there will be no shortage of applicants anyway.

im currently teaching english in mexico to high schoolers. stuck with another girl (we dont like each other basically) where we have to teach a few classes together and she is constantly trying to undermine me while im trying out games and activities ive got prepared for the class (calling out answers and being an arsehole). had words with her already but she often tries to push me with this shite from time to time. grrrrr.

That is so ridiculously unprofessional, wth!?

Okay, so we get a fruit basket delivered every week to the office. Instead of taking an apple when the want to eat it, some people are taking loads and putting it in their draws, presumably to eat during the week. This REALLY winds me up. What's the best way of dealing without ending up on the passive-aggressive notes thread, or do I just need to get over myself and go and buy some fruit?

What's the best way of dealing without ending up on the passive-aggressive notes thread

get there before them :)

happened here just today. dude took 1/4 of the grapes (meant for an office of of 30+ people) and a banana and something else to eat with his 11ses...

The thing is, you can steal all the fruit yourself, but then you're just doing onto others what's been done to you, which is the epitome of NAGL.

Next week, I might make a show of taking ALL the fruit from the bowl and putting it in my draws. But that makes me look even more of a cock. Gaaaaah!

The worst thing is that IT DOESN'T MATTER!

ARGH. Dude you have headphones, I see you using them every day. But every day around noon while you eat your lunch and watch stupid golf clips on your computer they disappear and you force the rest of the office to listen to the clips. ARGH. Also, no one uses AOL anymore, I don't need to hear the "You've Got Mail" at deafening volume either.

haha. jon you seem to work in the most annoying office of all time.

I have now gotten about ten emails and two instant messages for the dude with the similar name to mine in the last week.  I'd be sympathetic if A. the emails didn't display our locations next to him, and I clearly do not work in Texas, and B. if I hadn't already asked them politely to please double check before sending emails that they had the right one.

It's not just an innocuous thing either, there's a few times where something got delayed or done late because they were emailing the wrong person and that person was out of the office or didn't know what they were talking about.

haha. jon you seem to work in the most annoying office of all time.

Honestly no, the golf clips guy is the same guy who scrapes his plastic bowl and is also the same one that asks everyone mundane stuff. So if he and popcorn girl would clean up their acts, it would be mostly fine.

actually have a real one now, tho this is not from within my new dept, but someone in another dept.

Anyway, to simplify the scenario, I build tools that service reps use on calls. You get a stock template to work from, and anything you add or remove gets tracked so they can see where you differed from the template.

Generally then, you give it to the people who own the technology and they give the marked up template an editorial review, make final tweaks, and that's that. If your client wants to view the tool, then you do the editorial review first, then send them a 'clean' copy to look at.

This last time, the guy in charge was too busy and agreed that I'd just give the template to the client to review without an editorial review first. Not the best way to do things, but it saved him time, so whatever. Because of this, I had to clean up the document first before I sent it to our client.

The client made their own suggested revisions, which I then looked at, incorporated, and posted a final clean copy for the editorial team.

They are mad that I didn't give them a 'marked up' copy to look at, which is the norm. I fired back that because they didn't do an editorial review first, the only way I would have been able to do that is if I took the document that the client marked up, then copied everything over to the original document I marked up (which is over 100 documents). It would have been such an arduous and lengthy process, not to mention one with the potential for error, that it would have taken me an extra week.

I mean...I saved YOU time by foregoing the editorial review earlier. Did you not anticipate a tradeoff? You can't implement a compromise that benefits only you the first time, and then expect me to do it again a second time. It isn't a 'compromise' if it benefits just you and nobody else.

anywho, he's gonna get in some crap for this.

"Hey there young lady, I see you've got your boots on. Ready for the snow?"
"Hello sir, you've got your tea, huh?"
"Why hello, looks like you've got yourself a box there."
"You've got a coat on, don't you?"

best ilx thing of the month!

Next week, I might make a show of taking ALL the fruit from the bowl and putting it in my draws.

I only endorse this if you meant your underwear.

http://img.youtube.com/vi/jukZ10-hHJk/0.jpg

Hahah I was gonna make a similar comment earlier and forgot to. xpost

Oh man, for the past two days a guy near me has been rocking out to whatever he is listening to on his headphones. His extremely loud and off-key whistling and desktop drum solos are super annoying.

I've been known to do that by accident momentarily. The tapping on desk at least. Then I remember where I am and stop, sheepishly. I also play air-keyboards on the edge of my desk along to Telefon Tel Aviv albums.

I'd have a much higher tolerance for it if it were an accidental "whoops where am I" thing, but this is like every 30-45 seconds with the whistling and every 8-10 minutes with the desk drumming.

so re: my issue hte other day, basically my project lead and I nailed the group on screwing up royally, and their lead has been apologetic, so I'm kinda happy none of it fell back on me.

:-)

One month in, new department gets a solid A.