thread to get over a breakup

That all happened about six years ago, but we're best friends now (or, more accurately, like Jerry and Elaine from Seinfeld).

Hahah oh shit that sounds like me and Nick.

yeah :( and i know a very very good example of that

intervention from friends is imminent

Hm, curious, anyone i kno?

not really, an ex of mine from maaaany years ago. needs a huge kickstart to get over her cunt recent ex

ex texted me AGAIN yesterday. flat out ignored it. not gonna be your scratching post when YOU dumped ME!

Good for you *nods*.

Good luck Mooks.

Breaking up sounds awful. It's been soooo long since I've had to endure it that sometimes I forget how tough it is.

Yeah not something I care to go thru again in a hurry, esp the "oh god you mean I have to start again!?" kind where its been years. Ugh.

Doesnt make me feel any less lonely mind u.

I'm worried about dating again when I lose Lloyd. (He's old enough that even if he does die a natural death, I'm still going to outlive him by 20-30 years.) I'll get to make all of the relationship mistakes that you all made in your late teens or early twenties, but I'll get to make them with people in their forties, fifties, or sixties--people (I'm assuming will be) less tolerant of that kind of thing.

people in their 40s, 50s and 60s are probably a lot less nitpicky and bullshitty i would hope

I'm worried that I'll look less like Woman With Very Little Relationship Experience and more like Crazy Girlfriend to them.

why are you even thinking about this? there's really nothing can be done about that pesky process called "aging" w/r/t looks, but you're in control of how you approach life
just live well now, it will make you feel better when you're old
sorry to get all self helpy but it's true

watch a lot of golden girls and study their behavior. you'll have it made.

Good advice in any situation, actually.

Dear T*** (my ex-ex),

It is unfair that even though it's now been 1 year and 3 months since we broke up, I still miss you a lot, and that you seem to get more attractive as time goes on. Also it sucks that today is the two year anniversary of our Valentine's Day dinner at C@rmela's, the first of many Italian restaurants we visited together.

So pathetic is it that I think of you more now than my most recent ex, and can't find excuses to hate you anymore like I used to be able to.

*sigh*

Yours truly,

R0b

you're posting that here instead of actually sending it to her, right?

Lol of course

sure hope so

I don't send pathetic emails to people, ffs!

aw

five years ago this moment, i was getting married

:(

*hugs* mookie x

aw

<3

*comforts MP*

oh mookie...

<3 <3

aw mookie :(

We're here for ya, pal

mookie, five years from this (that) moment there will be wonderful people/things in your life you don't know anything about yet because they are a surprise <3

^^^^^^^^

in my phone i have made an entry for feb. 18, 2016 that says "bitch at estela"

i'll be long gone by then.

noooo

just a bit of magical thinking, so let's be cool.

<3

thinking of making this thread into a self-help book, anyone object?

Fwiw & apropos of nothing, my first (and hopefully last) serious ex got married a fortnight ago. Spent almost a whole day in a navelgaze funk before remembering that it's six years since we broke up and i've spent five of them with the current ms mac and we're stupidly happy. Exes and breakups, though. Strange.

I look forward to several more serious exes

oh dear. Personally, i hope not!

so...things have not been great with the wife for some time...not quite done yet, but seems like we are heading in that direction. We've had our "talks" and done marriage counseling in the past (about two years ago) and things rebounded. Then I lost my job and things went progressively downhill from there. I started a new job last September and it just seems to get worse and worse. She never seems to be happy about anything anymore and neither am I. The joy we get is our son. She consistently gets on me to spend "family time" all the time, I don't think she understands that I sometimes want to be alone or not always want to spend "family time"...sometimes I want to go be a guy and have a beer and watch a sporting event with my friends. I ask for once a month.

Im not perfect by any means and have my flaws that she is not happy about, but blah blah blah she's not the same person I fell in love with 15 years ago. She's turned into her mother. I know she wants structure and stability but she is never happy with anything i do anymore and is putting me down repeatedly over my failures at acquiring a college degree...which in my mind is not the fucking be all end all of life. Im just fed up.

She also is worried at all times at how she is perceived by her parents....she's 35 and is still seeking constant approval from them.

I probably sound like a selfish cunt. Im just exhausted.

Who's got advice?

You're trying to get over a breakup that hasn't even happened yet?

What's the status as of right now. Are you def splitting?

Also, :( I am sorry to hear this. I know how much it sucks.

chris, what's she doing? I mean, is she working, does she spend time with friends or with other moms, does she have things she does in spare time?

I have friends in this boat and it really sounds like she's either genuinely down on the relationship, or she just isn't getting any validation from her life so she's searching for it from her parents or by constantly having you engage in "family" stuff.

yup, because im actually more sad at the thought of not seeing my son daily at this point then not seeing her. Sometimes I feel that if we did seperate it would help me realize that i still do care about her but im terribly worried that i'll realize i don't...and that scares me. SHe's all i've know for a long time, we've been through hell and back together (fertilty issues, her post partum psychosis etc..) and we made it through. How can we not get through this baffles me.

we are up in the air at this point, we go from lets seperate to lets wait it out. Which i don't know if we are holding on to something purely for our boy or because we still care for one another? I do still love her...just seems not as much as I used to.

Sometimes I feel that if we did seperate it would help me realize that i still do care about her but im terribly worried that i'll realize i don't...and that scares me

that's heartbreaking stuff chris. all the best.

if couples counseling helped you guys rebound once maybe it would help again?

yes, she works constantly. she has a great job, which stresses her out and she travels a lot for it..she just got back from a 5 day trip. and she does spend time with friends and other mothers...she tells me she wants the best for me and just feels disappointed. I'm not a very ambitious guy.

She was brought up in a house where "appearance to others is everything"....social stats etc....education...she always follows up things with "what are my parents going to say"...WHO CARES, its your life now...not your parents. When i got tattooed a month ago it was "my parents are going to think your a bum". FUCK OFF.

honest to god, the only response to that is "if you care more about what they think than what I think, then it's obvious who you need to be living with."

I'm really sorry about your troubles & situation, btw. Not trying to be flippant.

she also used to make me cover up my tattoos when visiting her parents and not smoke cigarettes at their house (outside and away from the house) until last year I said fuck it and took my shirt off and lit up a camel wide right on the front lawn.

i think we will probably give the counseling another shot, its worth it. I guess.

pixel, thats actually something I need to say to her and i didn't take it as flippant at all.

and granted my upper body looks like a russian prisoner but it doesn't make me any less of a person because im tattooed and not a college graduate.