I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

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tru

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:25 (thirteen years ago) link

god, IMPE guys who do that feel inexperienced/inadequte and think sex means acting like u are in a crappy porno

dark link (roxymuzak), Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:53 (thirteen years ago) link

"YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT?? YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YA."

dark link (roxymuzak), Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:54 (thirteen years ago) link

professional?

sarahel, Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:55 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah, the one guy I had in mind basically acts like it's a porno every time we fuck, like "Yeah, you like that?" and all that shit. God, it's so dull. Also he refuses to take his shirt off and he keeps trying to have phone/chat sex with me.

vienn?tta (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:55 (thirteen years ago) link

if anything coming out of yr mouth is not some variation on i feel awesome / you are awesome then u are doing it wrong

bouquet brigade (electricsound), Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:56 (thirteen years ago) link

^

i guess you are the fattest and the ugliest (Matt P), Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:57 (thirteen years ago) link

This thread is worth it for straight dudes just to see that some things are the same across sexes, and guys are just as ridiculous with other guys as they are with women.

w/no hesitation (mh), Thursday, 3 February 2011 01:00 (thirteen years ago) link

roxy otm

ENBB, Thursday, 3 February 2011 01:06 (thirteen years ago) link

roxy otm, when I am pretending I am in a crappy porno I yell all kinds of bullshit

w/no hesitation (mh), Thursday, 3 February 2011 01:12 (thirteen years ago) link

I hooked up with a guy a couple of times who I thought was saying either "oh yeh, son of a bitch" or "oh you son of a bitch." I finally figured out it was the latter.

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Thursday, 3 February 2011 01:16 (thirteen years ago) link

professional?

― sarahel, Wednesday, February 2, 2011 2:55 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

i loled

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:05 (thirteen years ago) link

if anything coming out of yr mouth is not some variation on i feel awesome / you are awesome then u are doing it wrong

as with most sweeping generalizations, presumptive and not true for all situations.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:25 (thirteen years ago) link

so lick my balls.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:26 (thirteen years ago) link

I really want to make a joke based on 'if anything coming out of your mouth is not jizz you're doing it wrong' but that would just be wrong (in more ways than one).

emil.y, Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:46 (thirteen years ago) link

when I first read that post I 1/2 expected it to say something to that effect

morbius otm about that not always being true

ENBB, Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:47 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah look whatever. was not intended to be gospel. for christ's sake.

bouquet brigade (electricsound), Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:49 (thirteen years ago) link

yes, sometimes "so, lick my balls" is the right thing to say

sarahel, Thursday, 3 February 2011 03:13 (thirteen years ago) link

This thread makes me think of that situation guys sometimes run into, the one where a girl is giving you head but not going down to suck on your nuts even though you'd really like her to. So you sheepishly ask, "could you suck my balls?" hoping she will, and then she does, but all you can think about is the sound of your own voice asking "could you suck my balls?".

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, December 1, 2004 10:05 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 03:31 (thirteen years ago) link

lol I was looking for that post. Bryan sounds like he was getting head from girls who were doing it wrong. He's otm though. That or any variation thereof is maybe the worst sounding question ever. Best to make sure that it never has to be asked imo.

ENBB, Thursday, 3 February 2011 03:33 (thirteen years ago) link

using your mouth like a hand is the key to good head. massage, don't eat.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 February 2011 03:36 (thirteen years ago) link

Wait, doing it right always involves sucking on nuts? I am missing out, here.

w/no hesitation (mh), Thursday, 3 February 2011 04:03 (thirteen years ago) link

haha, i was looking for that post too

dark link (roxymuzak), Thursday, 3 February 2011 05:09 (thirteen years ago) link

buzza's on vacation, i'm filling in.

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 05:29 (thirteen years ago) link

maybe you need to do it in a fake voice, like darth vader or something

sarahel, Thursday, 3 February 2011 08:51 (thirteen years ago) link

this is the biggest lol from The House Bunny imo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWYsekCJdac

*suck my balls* [exorcist voice]

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 08:56 (thirteen years ago) link

are you drunk too grady?

sarahel, Thursday, 3 February 2011 08:57 (thirteen years ago) link

lol no

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 08:59 (thirteen years ago) link

are u a tranny chaser?

sarahel, Thursday, 3 February 2011 09:00 (thirteen years ago) link

i did have a cocktail about half an hour ago but i try and steer clear of the ILTMI gays thread when i'm intoxicated

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 09:00 (thirteen years ago) link

sarahel "tranny chaser" is KBP's tired old meme for me

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 09:00 (thirteen years ago) link

it's different for girls iirc

sarahel, Thursday, 3 February 2011 09:01 (thirteen years ago) link

She's a man, baby!

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 09:02 (thirteen years ago) link

My one concession to dirty talk: when someone's on the brink, direct eye contact, "DO IT. FUCKING DO IT." That tends to work quite well!

mike t-diva, Thursday, 3 February 2011 10:42 (thirteen years ago) link

i try and steer clear of the ILTMI gays thread when i'm intoxicated

oooooooooooh

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 February 2011 13:07 (thirteen years ago) link

haha

acid druthers temple (crüt), Thursday, 3 February 2011 13:10 (thirteen years ago) link

See also: Louie episode "Old."

A double shot of Sesame Street (Eazy), Thursday, 3 February 2011 15:43 (thirteen years ago) link

lol I was looking for that post. Bryan sounds like he was getting head from girls who were doing it wrong. He's otm though. That or any variation thereof is maybe the worst sounding question ever. Best to make sure that it never has to be asked imo.

― ENBB, Wednesday, February 2, 2011 9:33 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Strongly disagree.

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Thursday, 3 February 2011 18:40 (thirteen years ago) link

fwiw ever since table's shit-eater story i have read this thread title as "I Lost An Ass-Drop In His Cough Hole"

tangelo amour (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 3 February 2011 20:49 (thirteen years ago) link

loooooool

The Reverend, Thursday, 3 February 2011 21:18 (thirteen years ago) link

Jesse - which which part? That it's an awful sounding question?

ENBB, Thursday, 3 February 2011 21:38 (thirteen years ago) link

I just think "could you suck my balls" IN CONTEXT is totally acceptable and maybe sexy if said the right way. Though I would put it "will you suck my balls" or, in certain situations, "suck my balls." Also maybe disagree that it sounds like Bryan's girl was doing it wrong.

But I also totally see the comedy intended in the post quoted above.

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Thursday, 3 February 2011 21:45 (thirteen years ago) link

Some occasions call for "Willst du meinen Balls gehrsucken?"

A double shot of Sesame Street (Eazy), Thursday, 3 February 2011 21:53 (thirteen years ago) link

Idk to me it just sounds so ridiculous. Balls. It's a silly word for a fairly ridiculous body part. I only meant that it sounded like she was doing it wrong because generally I think it's better approach to . . . errr . . . at least incorporate them into the whole deal in some way than not to. I mean everyone's diff, of course, but I'm just saying that generally speaking I think including them is better than excluding when it comes to this sorta thing.

ENBB, Thursday, 3 February 2011 21:55 (thirteen years ago) link

x-post If they were asking in German they'd probably say Eier because iirc eggs is the common colloquialism.

ENBB, Thursday, 3 February 2011 21:57 (thirteen years ago) link

A request that echoed distractingly in my head included the qualifying phrase "for a second." That was a big mistake.

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Thursday, 3 February 2011 22:01 (thirteen years ago) link

I keep thinking of the Louis C.K. sketch where he's talking about trying to ask his wife to lick her palm during a handjob, and how his inability to communicate this is misinterpreted.

w/no hesitation (mh), Thursday, 3 February 2011 22:17 (thirteen years ago) link

slap my sack

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 4 February 2011 01:59 (thirteen years ago) link

lol at correcting him on "Balls" but apparently gesucken is the correct verb. :D

totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 05:35 (thirteen years ago) link

sorry, gehrsucken

totally small truffles (Abbbottt), Friday, 4 February 2011 05:36 (thirteen years ago) link


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