Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

i cannot even imagine doing this but i guess i should maybe?

like, even if there were some magical woman who wanted to be my slave was interested, i don't know what i'd do with that. other than feel flattered. i don't want to message people or wink at people. i'd kind of like some extended hugging tho

No! Resist the urge.

Yeh OKC is a tiny bit demoralising tbh :(

Fuck I'd kill for some cuddles now as well. Bleh.

hard to get cuddles via killing ime

Unless u r Gacey or some shit.

mooks, I thought you were married???

i was

still am technically

aw jeez

hey guys so maybe i'm not KING OF OKCUPID since i haven't exactly ~~found a girlfriend~~ on here or whatever, but i'm maybe doin ok on it in the sense of quantity of ppl i'm conversating with & meeting irl, and i have been asked to share my methodology and so here is my pamphlet

01:12:41 PM) HOOS: i mean its a task man i'll be real
(01:13:00 PM) HOOS: like i haven't honestly run my numbers but rough estimate if i send 20 messages i'll get 3 responses
(01:13:11 PM) homo ii: i never see even 20 people i want to message
(01:13:20 PM) HOOS: haha see thats the thing too like
(01:13:31 PM) HOOS: i set my search parameters
(01:13:57 PM) HOOS: '21-30' 'under 5'6' 'single' 'girls who like guys'
(01:14:28 PM) HOOS: and then look at percentages & the first profie pic
(01:14:55 PM) HOOS: if the percentage is above 60 and the pic is cute/ws/intriguing in some way, i'll open the profile in a new tab for further investigation
(01:15:19 PM) HOOS: which usually consists of 'skimming the profile til i find something i can be witty/interesting about'
(01:15:53 PM) homo ii: i pretty much do that too but most of the dudes look pretty dopey and/or have horrible grammar
(01:16:14 PM) HOOS: and my standard msg is subject line 'essential questions' and 3-4 cutesy/lol/'deep' questions
(01:16:34 PM) homo ii: ooh what are your essential questions?

(01:16:45 PM) HOOS: oh they're diff based on the contents of the profile
(01:17:30 PM) HOOS: but like lets say the girl mentions buffy and working for a nonprofit and liking some punk band
(01:17:38 PM) HOOS: i'd be like
(01:17:45 PM) HOOS: -which buffy character are you?
(01:18:05 PM) HOOS: -what is it about your job that you really love?
(01:18:43 PM) HOOS: -punk band XYZ is pretty rad, i love album 123, but have you heard ABC? check out this youtube video
(01:19:55 PM) HOOS: so yeah i'll send about 15 variations on that in a week
(01:20:04 PM) HOOS: and part of it is that like
(01:20:14 PM) HOOS: i'm in a new city with new people coming into it all the time
(01:20:19 PM) HOOS: so constant new pool
(01:22:19 PM) HOOS: but i mean i feel like just being genuine, curious & grammatically correct takes me light years

All good rules to work on but Mand is right, I never FIND that many ppl who fit my criteria and jesus, you sort by HEIGHT!? If I did that I'd never find anyone. My age bracket is huge - but skewed downward, and I suspect the younger guys ignore me cos of my age tbh? (I am talking 28-30yos not babies)

Also I kind of wont go below about 70% on matches. And if there is any bad grammar/spelling that is an instant bum-bowww.

So, for some reason, are people who are all "I am so outdoorsy and I go hiking in the mountains and I travel overseas at least twice a year". Cos that isnt the guy for me. But so many guys feel the need to be braggin' bout their travels idgi?

maybe its a australia thing

everybody in dc brags about their jobs on their profiles

not gonna lie, slightly creeped out by that hoos post

I'd be more attracted to some girl who brags about making mixtapes and watching Pawn Stars. a) admitting that is a big plus re: laid-backness and b) I'd never feel guilty for essentially wanting to do the same thing.

hahaha sorry everybody

everyone in Denver brags about their awesome outdoorsy-ness, too

dude no way HOOS i thought it was enlightening

i mean don't let the fact that i have a 'system' make it sound like i'm anything less than genuine in trying to get to know ppl & make new friends

i've just figured out a way to get the most out of the time i spend on the site so that i'm not hitting 'random' or quickmatch or pointlessly browsing til the cows come ome

Naw what hoos said was cool! At least something a bit engaging and different, I'd think baot it if I got such a message, it shows they've paid attention, for one thing.

Also mixtapes = <3

haha i have "[[mixtape]]" as a bracketed thing on my profile too

iirc it is "life is a [[mixtape]]"

i've kinda got my own 'system' in place for initial msgs (first rule above all: keep it brief)

Another good rule would be "dont msg anyone when you're drunk". Sayin'.

plz share imo!! XP

when you're going thru somebody's profile and they literally make the claim "i'm very unique" - like, i don't even know.

FOund an interesting guy just now til my eyes ran over the phrase "Ayn Rand"... NEXT.

you sort by HEIGHT!?

hoos is roughly 4'2 give or take a few inches, remember

lol

I have some really annoying dealbreakers. I dont want kids, and I smoke. I am sure I'm losing a large base from those 2 things alone.

xpost hahaha :) I like short guys!

yo i'm just sayin i met this girl today who was 4'7, like eyes-at-my-ribcage and i think ppl were mistaking her for my daughter or something, i felt v v weird and would not wanna subject somebody else to that lol

"fun loving guy" = NEXT

wow a guy who loves fun holy shit!!!

"HOW DO I SUM MYSELF UP IN THIS LITTLE BOX"

"i like to go out but i don't get too crazy"

wow a guy who loves fun holy shit!!!

― based god fillets with olive oil, cook for an additional 6 minutes (donna rouge), Monday, January 31, 2011 6:20 AM (28 seconds ago) Bookmark

hahaha this is an instant classic post imo

omg my account still works

I think a part of people's odd self-descriptions on these things is a tendency to list your hobbies as things you would like to be doing or see yourself doing if you were in a couple (camping and hiking) instead of the things you actually do (sleep 16 hours, icee and chex mix for dinner).

yeah i remember this girl's profile saying something like 'if all yall love to be kayaking all the damn time why is the lake always so empty?'

she is now a v good friend lol

Although I will admit that hooking up with some cute internet girl and discovering together that hiking sucks is an advanced level of dating failure I would probably enjoy.

genuine, curious & grammatically correct

This'll get you a long way in life, and I guess OKC is no different.

Right, I'm gonna work on my profile tonight. I'll have to put a time limit on it so I don't overwork it and get flustered.

http://i.imgur.com/Hz34O.jpg

funniest part of that is user 'fartparticle' listed under similar users

HA!

I hope its a shop. If it isnt I feel sorry for the other guys who's profiles have been listed there haha oops.

More than anything I hope it is the realest thing ever

Oh go mh, just send him a message I'm sure he'll reply ;D

h2 I heard something about you and a slave thing? You still available?

lol

:o