the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJXU7EVXs2A

It never really even occurred to me whether Greedo or Han shot first, as it was obv they were never going to kill of Han moments after introducing him. With essential characters the statistics never apply... they always get out by sheer will or magic coincidence/last moment saving, but nonetheless survive. But I guess it really is more of a triviality that nerds like to obsess over just out of nerd-joi, less than any actual theories that had greedo shot first that star wars would have been radically changed as a story.

― The previous message has been brought to you by (kelpolaris), Friday, 28 January 2011 19:35 (1 hour ago)

it's not just that it horribly alters and largely ruins the Han character, it's that the scene now looks awkward as fuck. As does Han stepping over Jabba's tail and all the other bullshit that's in the "special editions."

oh my
http://www.nme.com/filmandtv/news/george-lucas-has-50-hours-of-star-wars-tv-series/217089

someone stop him - its the wookie xmas special gone mad

"waiting for the technology to catch up"

4-D reverse time implants.

Eco-friendly solar powered digital hi-def turd polisher

"waiting for the technology to bring the world an even more annoying JAR JAR character. You're welcome world"

I wouldn't be surprised if he's waiting for some kind of full actor replacement technology

Almost -- full audience replacement technology is probably the real dream.

waiting for the technology that will be able to create software which is able to generate a 50 hour script up to the high standards expected from star wars

shouldn't take too long

I wonder if he ever releases all the Star Wars pr0n he has in his vault at Gringolds

You know what? I finally have forgiven Lucas for Jar Jar Binks - as I sold the lego figure of him for £7. Damn, people pay a lot for Star Wars lego figures.

http://www.warpbreach.com/8/jarjarsuck.jpg

Plus, I do really like "Revenge of the Sith" or the "Perils of Emo" as it should be called.

Those Jar Jar things, what are they? That's the stuff of nightmares.

ugh - unpost that!

one thing we can all thank Lucas for is the wonderfull "Backstroke of the West"

That's a Jar-Jar fleshlight, isn't it

Yes, I just typed that

Meantime, io9 has things to say about this TV series story.

Those are Jar Jar Binks lollipops, aka the worst marketing idea ever conceived. It's a plastic Jar Jar head with a CANDY TONGUE.

I am not mad at the person who suggested making a candy that would have kids making out with an alien to eat it; that person is hilarious and deserves a medal. I am mad at the person who greenlighted this as a good licensing idea and even went so far as to get engineers to build an assembly line machine that could create candy Jar Jar tongues.

50 hours mapped out = 4 characters designed, pilot and second episode written in his head, happy ending planned

please do not ever use the phrase "happy ending" in conjunction with George Lucas

for all we know that's jar jars genital genital

jar jars genital genital whut whut

jar jar genital genital whut whut cheese cheese

http://www.filmdailies.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/01/jarhead.jpg

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I wish the part of jar jar had been played by Grover

I can't even imagine

Lucas claimed that while TV budgets are one-tenth of those in cinema, the ability to make a credible TV show at such lower costs does not yet exist.

george lucas knows credibility

as long as youcan make light sabers and blaster blasts, if you can write a good story and dialog, its a go. of course I like the terrible BBC doctor who effects too

if you can write a good story and dialog

ahhhh

there's the rub i guess

the dialog in the second prequel made me want to bash anakin with a jar jar pop

lucas should be tonguing one of those jar jar pops at every press conference and just wipe his hands and face off with hundred dollar bills when he's done

the fact that he doesn't dress like Mr. Monopoly is offensive to me

http://i154.photobucket.com/albums/s255/gallery1988sf/Olly/IMG_1338.jpg

my 5 year old was finally exposted to the Phantom Menace this week, he did not appear to enjoy any of it

we started watching attack of the clones and he was grossed out by the kissing. However, I thought it was pretty good, having skipped it in the theaters at the time. The scenes with the clones in little bottles was neat, anyway.

the prequels improve in quality as they go along IMO

"he killed younglings"

Maybe it was due to my radically decreasing enthusiasm as the series went on, but I thought phantom menace was the best (though still terrible). The "action" and "romance" in the other two was terrifyingly inept.

Oh, and Yoda leaping around and kicking ass is 1000000x more of a problem than greedo shooting first.

Yoda leaping around and kicking ass was great in exactly the same way that the dancing zombies in the "Thriller" video were great

Thriller was meant to be funny, Attack of the Clones wasn't

the po-faced seriousness of a Yoda/Dooku lightsaber battle

he looked like a frog on cocaine

the po-faced seriousness of a Yoda/Dooku lightsaber battle

Well, yeah

I mean there's nothing in any of the prequels to suggest Lucas had any sense of humour about what he was doing. I refer you to the Darth Vader "NOOOOOOO" scene in the third film (which is definitely the worst, although it's a fairly pointless distinction when they're all so terrible.)

"DO NOT WANT!!"