the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

my memory is Greedo shooting first, albeit with a very faint blaster beam, and even back in '97 I was wondering why people were complaining about it. Dunno what's wrong with my head tbh.

depending on how dorky you are, this can be a really fascinating read, especially since most of what i'd read previously about the making of all these movies, going all the way back to the first one, had basically been propaganda. george lucas is a weird, weird guy.

i'm repeating myself at this point (we all are) but i think for the prequels, lucas didn't or for some reason just couldn't understand the story he himself was telling.

the original trilogy of movies are mythic adventure stories. you can be kind of disconnected from real people with real concerns and still tell an exciting story in that mode (in any case, lucas was still "tethered" by other people who had some control over what happened in those productions)

the prequel trilogy is about politics and love, ie human desire on a mass and individual level. the objective of the prequels is to tell how the stark good-vs-evil conflict of the original movies is the result of an earlier world of competing desires. and it's p clear that lucas doesn't have much understanding of that kind of thing at all, least of all the desires of audiences, who he feels will be awed by frame after frame that is at once totally static and crammed to the gills with useless details.

It never really even occurred to me whether Greedo or Han shot first, as it was obv they were never going to kill of Han moments after introducing him. With essential characters the statistics never apply... they always get out by sheer will or magic coincidence/last moment saving, but nonetheless survive. But I guess it really is more of a triviality that nerds like to obsess over just out of nerd-joi, less than any actual theories that had greedo shot first that star wars would have been radically changed as a story.

What if JFK had shot first.

xp -- i think the idea is that having greedo shoot first neuters the content of the scene--that han is a slightly dark character, a rogue, who distracts someone and then casually shoots him dead. greedo shooting makes explicit that han is acting in self-defense. it's ridiculous for two reasons: one, it undermines han's arc in the movie, which is from self-serving rogue to revolutionary soldier; two, it makes "self-defense" absurdly literal, since even in the original version greedo is clearly about to shoot han in the face and it's not like han is gunning someone down in cold blood; three, it makes absolutely no sense that a professional bounty hunter would miss a totally static target from two feet away.

it's ridiculous for two reasons, and a special bonus reason if you act now.

a triviality that nerds like to obsess over just out of nerd-joi, less than any actual theories that had greedo shot first that star wars would have been radically changed as a story.

― The previous message has been brought to you by (kelpolaris), Friday, January 28, 2011 1:35 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

i think the complaint is that in 1977 lucas was ok with the idea of one of his heroes being sort of dangerous and adult and morally questionable. but, given the chance to do it over again, he made sure there was no chance the most childish good-guy sensibility isn't threatened at all. it's about lucas withdrawal from an adult world of thinking persons.

xp :)

"YOU try simply imagining a universe as unique and in-depth as the star wars one"
this is easy, especially given star wars' mashup origins.
kurosawa movie + scifi trappings + new age mysticism
so:
Rashomon + robots & lasers + astrology:

Gemini Jaxon is accused in robocourt of murdering and roboraping Pisces Piscariot, and their memories have been subpoenaed for evidence,
but a mysterious syzygy scrambles the data producing a multi-layered and contradictory testimony. The Libra Liberation Front disrupts the trial
using lasers, resuces Gemini Jaxon and they are off to have adventures as seven magnificent cyber samurai.

imagining is easy. selling it is hard. lucas is a good salesman. even for the prequels, I mean we all ended up watching them.

well, Rashomon isnt exactly the Kurosawa movie that comes to mind! maybe The Hidden Fortress.

oh i see what you were doing, ha!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJXU7EVXs2A

It never really even occurred to me whether Greedo or Han shot first, as it was obv they were never going to kill of Han moments after introducing him. With essential characters the statistics never apply... they always get out by sheer will or magic coincidence/last moment saving, but nonetheless survive. But I guess it really is more of a triviality that nerds like to obsess over just out of nerd-joi, less than any actual theories that had greedo shot first that star wars would have been radically changed as a story.

― The previous message has been brought to you by (kelpolaris), Friday, 28 January 2011 19:35 (1 hour ago)

it's not just that it horribly alters and largely ruins the Han character, it's that the scene now looks awkward as fuck. As does Han stepping over Jabba's tail and all the other bullshit that's in the "special editions."

oh my
http://www.nme.com/filmandtv/news/george-lucas-has-50-hours-of-star-wars-tv-series/217089

someone stop him - its the wookie xmas special gone mad

"waiting for the technology to catch up"

4-D reverse time implants.

Eco-friendly solar powered digital hi-def turd polisher

"waiting for the technology to bring the world an even more annoying JAR JAR character. You're welcome world"

I wouldn't be surprised if he's waiting for some kind of full actor replacement technology

Almost -- full audience replacement technology is probably the real dream.

waiting for the technology that will be able to create software which is able to generate a 50 hour script up to the high standards expected from star wars

shouldn't take too long

I wonder if he ever releases all the Star Wars pr0n he has in his vault at Gringolds

You know what? I finally have forgiven Lucas for Jar Jar Binks - as I sold the lego figure of him for £7. Damn, people pay a lot for Star Wars lego figures.

http://www.warpbreach.com/8/jarjarsuck.jpg

Plus, I do really like "Revenge of the Sith" or the "Perils of Emo" as it should be called.

Those Jar Jar things, what are they? That's the stuff of nightmares.

ugh - unpost that!

one thing we can all thank Lucas for is the wonderfull "Backstroke of the West"

That's a Jar-Jar fleshlight, isn't it

Yes, I just typed that

Meantime, io9 has things to say about this TV series story.

Those are Jar Jar Binks lollipops, aka the worst marketing idea ever conceived. It's a plastic Jar Jar head with a CANDY TONGUE.

I am not mad at the person who suggested making a candy that would have kids making out with an alien to eat it; that person is hilarious and deserves a medal. I am mad at the person who greenlighted this as a good licensing idea and even went so far as to get engineers to build an assembly line machine that could create candy Jar Jar tongues.

50 hours mapped out = 4 characters designed, pilot and second episode written in his head, happy ending planned

please do not ever use the phrase "happy ending" in conjunction with George Lucas

for all we know that's jar jars genital genital

jar jars genital genital whut whut

jar jar genital genital whut whut cheese cheese

http://www.filmdailies.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/01/jarhead.jpg

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I wish the part of jar jar had been played by Grover

I can't even imagine

Lucas claimed that while TV budgets are one-tenth of those in cinema, the ability to make a credible TV show at such lower costs does not yet exist.

george lucas knows credibility

as long as youcan make light sabers and blaster blasts, if you can write a good story and dialog, its a go. of course I like the terrible BBC doctor who effects too

if you can write a good story and dialog

ahhhh

there's the rub i guess

the dialog in the second prequel made me want to bash anakin with a jar jar pop

lucas should be tonguing one of those jar jar pops at every press conference and just wipe his hands and face off with hundred dollar bills when he's done

the fact that he doesn't dress like Mr. Monopoly is offensive to me

http://i154.photobucket.com/albums/s255/gallery1988sf/Olly/IMG_1338.jpg