I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

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did you stomp that guy yet or

gr8080, Tuesday, 25 January 2011 05:56 (thirteen years ago) link

stomping guy started tecting me 10 times a day and getting weird and i was like, "if you're acting possessive and not like a client and we haven't even met yet, then we're not meeting, sorry bloke"

tbf explicitly gay albums aren't quite as cultural (the table is the table), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 06:02 (thirteen years ago) link

would def text w/ a guy 10 times a day for $3,000

gr8080, Tuesday, 25 January 2011 06:05 (thirteen years ago) link

if you saw these texts and the frequency, you would've been like "no" too, just trust me. i could really use the money (like really use the money) and i decided no. it was when he said he was 'worried' about me after we hadn't talked for two days that i was like, "you're not my friend, you're a fuckin guy who wants me to stomp on him and fuck him for money, get it straight." and he kept on with his weirdness. i can't stand that in lovers, much less in clients.

anyway.

tbf explicitly gay albums aren't quite as cultural (the table is the table), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 06:17 (thirteen years ago) link

Ha. "Bloke." Was your stomper persona British?

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 06:21 (thirteen years ago) link

xpost

tbh i was worried when you went a weekend w/o posting to this thread!!

like that you were locked in a dungeon somewhere in LA

gr8080, Tuesday, 25 January 2011 06:23 (thirteen years ago) link

Glad I'm not having to choose between bursting a feller's nuts and receiving his texts tbh.

Balls is significantly to the left of Brown (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 06:34 (thirteen years ago) link

i watched a lot of british tv this past weekend, i was ill. (for some reason, only reading and watching movies appeal to me anymore when i'm sick, ILX is too much).

tbf explicitly gay albums aren't quite as cultural (the table is the table), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 06:38 (thirteen years ago) link

it really is

dark link (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 25 January 2011 17:10 (thirteen years ago) link

the preview is totally teal & orange.xls

Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Thursday, 27 January 2011 23:11 (thirteen years ago) link

didn't travel with my enema bulb because going out was spur of the moment, and despite my best efforts to clean....

i ruined this guy's sheets.

that said, he was a bit...passionless. like, robotic. so in a way, i'm glad.

tbf explicitly gay albums aren't quite as cultural (the table is the table), Wednesday, 2 February 2011 18:36 (thirteen years ago) link

Oh no! Santorum!

The Reverend, Wednesday, 2 February 2011 18:50 (thirteen years ago) link

RIP ;_;

The Reverend, Wednesday, 2 February 2011 18:50 (thirteen years ago) link

he was one of those types who was like "yeah, you gonna cum? you gonna cum?" and i was like "dude, maybe if you stopped talking i would be able to"

tbf explicitly gay albums aren't quite as cultural (the table is the table), Wednesday, 2 February 2011 19:06 (thirteen years ago) link

I CANNOT STAND people who do that.

vienn?tta (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 2 February 2011 21:02 (thirteen years ago) link

ugh! yes

Jomanda Hugankiss (donna rouge), Wednesday, 2 February 2011 21:55 (thirteen years ago) link

some ppl get off on that -- it's sort of a dom thing no?

J0rdan S., Wednesday, 2 February 2011 21:56 (thirteen years ago) link

i can never tell if it's a dom thing or just desperation (or exasperation)

Jomanda Hugankiss (donna rouge), Wednesday, 2 February 2011 22:51 (thirteen years ago) link

or bad communication skills

sarahel, Wednesday, 2 February 2011 22:57 (thirteen years ago) link

w/ str8 dudes its usually fear of inadequacy fwiw

gr8080, Wednesday, 2 February 2011 23:45 (thirteen years ago) link

indeed

bouquet brigade (electricsound), Wednesday, 2 February 2011 23:52 (thirteen years ago) link

tru

Johnny Fever, Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:25 (thirteen years ago) link

god, IMPE guys who do that feel inexperienced/inadequte and think sex means acting like u are in a crappy porno

dark link (roxymuzak), Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:53 (thirteen years ago) link

"YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT?? YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YA."

dark link (roxymuzak), Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:54 (thirteen years ago) link

professional?

sarahel, Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:55 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah, the one guy I had in mind basically acts like it's a porno every time we fuck, like "Yeah, you like that?" and all that shit. God, it's so dull. Also he refuses to take his shirt off and he keeps trying to have phone/chat sex with me.

vienn?tta (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:55 (thirteen years ago) link

if anything coming out of yr mouth is not some variation on i feel awesome / you are awesome then u are doing it wrong

bouquet brigade (electricsound), Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:56 (thirteen years ago) link

^

i guess you are the fattest and the ugliest (Matt P), Thursday, 3 February 2011 00:57 (thirteen years ago) link

This thread is worth it for straight dudes just to see that some things are the same across sexes, and guys are just as ridiculous with other guys as they are with women.

w/no hesitation (mh), Thursday, 3 February 2011 01:00 (thirteen years ago) link

roxy otm

ENBB, Thursday, 3 February 2011 01:06 (thirteen years ago) link

roxy otm, when I am pretending I am in a crappy porno I yell all kinds of bullshit

w/no hesitation (mh), Thursday, 3 February 2011 01:12 (thirteen years ago) link

I hooked up with a guy a couple of times who I thought was saying either "oh yeh, son of a bitch" or "oh you son of a bitch." I finally figured out it was the latter.

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Thursday, 3 February 2011 01:16 (thirteen years ago) link

professional?

― sarahel, Wednesday, February 2, 2011 2:55 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

i loled

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:05 (thirteen years ago) link

if anything coming out of yr mouth is not some variation on i feel awesome / you are awesome then u are doing it wrong

as with most sweeping generalizations, presumptive and not true for all situations.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:25 (thirteen years ago) link

so lick my balls.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:26 (thirteen years ago) link

I really want to make a joke based on 'if anything coming out of your mouth is not jizz you're doing it wrong' but that would just be wrong (in more ways than one).

emil.y, Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:46 (thirteen years ago) link

when I first read that post I 1/2 expected it to say something to that effect

morbius otm about that not always being true

ENBB, Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:47 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah look whatever. was not intended to be gospel. for christ's sake.

bouquet brigade (electricsound), Thursday, 3 February 2011 02:49 (thirteen years ago) link

yes, sometimes "so, lick my balls" is the right thing to say

sarahel, Thursday, 3 February 2011 03:13 (thirteen years ago) link

This thread makes me think of that situation guys sometimes run into, the one where a girl is giving you head but not going down to suck on your nuts even though you'd really like her to. So you sheepishly ask, "could you suck my balls?" hoping she will, and then she does, but all you can think about is the sound of your own voice asking "could you suck my balls?".

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, December 1, 2004 10:05 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 03:31 (thirteen years ago) link

lol I was looking for that post. Bryan sounds like he was getting head from girls who were doing it wrong. He's otm though. That or any variation thereof is maybe the worst sounding question ever. Best to make sure that it never has to be asked imo.

ENBB, Thursday, 3 February 2011 03:33 (thirteen years ago) link

using your mouth like a hand is the key to good head. massage, don't eat.

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 February 2011 03:36 (thirteen years ago) link

Wait, doing it right always involves sucking on nuts? I am missing out, here.

w/no hesitation (mh), Thursday, 3 February 2011 04:03 (thirteen years ago) link

haha, i was looking for that post too

dark link (roxymuzak), Thursday, 3 February 2011 05:09 (thirteen years ago) link

buzza's on vacation, i'm filling in.

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 05:29 (thirteen years ago) link

maybe you need to do it in a fake voice, like darth vader or something

sarahel, Thursday, 3 February 2011 08:51 (thirteen years ago) link

this is the biggest lol from The House Bunny imo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWYsekCJdac

*suck my balls* [exorcist voice]

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 08:56 (thirteen years ago) link

are you drunk too grady?

sarahel, Thursday, 3 February 2011 08:57 (thirteen years ago) link

lol no

gr8080, Thursday, 3 February 2011 08:59 (thirteen years ago) link


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