the bizarre poetry of spam emails

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http://twitter.com/WIZARDSPAM

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"It's like an afterburner for your penis!"

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Why is this spam/nonspam?:) the to secgin
show details Jan 11 (12 days ago) Reply

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"wirepuller governor gudgeon headrace gremlin"

/oh for the days of changeable usernames

Got this today:

I posterior thesis holmdel due glycerol fried cobblestone clutch agate clarence lonesome scarborough astigmatism lux .
He do ambrose glorify indivisible cochlea sulfurous hurst base adolph delta sough merle concierge anent catsup sharecrop trihedral confident otis drophead spaniard hove domenico goldenrod tunis attribution bedstraw encapsulate tectonic escritoire momentum waspish .
Qbetatron hollister kirby whereas damp conjuncture mars tape began snazzy sturbridge .
Shypocycloid carthaginian impassive billfold unity bloodstain port monmouth copeland genus maintain plus apotheosis antiquity fairway furbish tipperary shipwreck backboard further bacterium joanna croydon diary .
Texamine mastodon booklet absent cream aeolus clash design babysitting amos k's idolatry jr anglophobia proteolysis indelible antisemitic tallahassee sauce dictate automatic pentagon septate drawback intend biddy tortoiseshell anti potential omniscient antioch astronaut transplant continuation .


You angles diego dialectic epistolatory downwind acclimate lake edging adler crosswise mediterranean connally panacea voltaire .
If keypunch adventure hammond mute inductance jeopard bangle liable alliterate rio rape racetrack angstrom cough dachshund hayward bunsen credit pennyroyal desert kink castor churchwomen corbett quad business rainy paunchy lorelei urinal avert driveway reeve agatha conduct mescal seedling composition .
While crete antiquated decade sienna defensive tunis arctan hom anatole collegial emmett exquisite bindle abdicate caricature virginal chambers elsevier tyrannicide anybody echoes expertise ease lazybones liquidus breezy abject mescaline eucalyptus enamel absinthe tyson dunham lang comprehensible infuse megohm death tete halfback .
When celerity virginal shoreline cervantes malabar ashland havana reveal foley delouse plantation chasm beetle citroen holocaust lemming chess perverse andersen awoke afterglow convert ow mere woodbury .

That's rather like this:
I'm bored, so let's tell a story posting one word at a time.

Got this today:

"envelope bureaucrat boastful estate greer"

roughen transit montmartre? lawgiver, venusian kissing.
aerosol statewide epstein aerosol swat smutty, estate
estate militarist militarist yamaha global.

agriculture militarist death

irrevocable ecole tommy? estate, spay pus.
gaslight virtual dispersion jurisdiction statewide sorrel, ecole
ecole gaslight pad statewide pus.

pus death diorama

transit boastful verbal? eratosthenes, sweet smutty.

pad sweet.

If Gertrude Stein were still with us...

er, WAS still with us.

When you are young and stressed up
When you are aged and never give up
Cialis gives you confidence in any chance, every time.

That should totally be a Paul Anka-stylee jingle.

haunches, sheepsnouts bloodypapered snivelling nosejam on sawdust. Top and
Long's. Slaking his drouth.

From: avoid [lytonisyw8✧✧✧@a-lo✧✧✧.c✧✧]
Sent: Tuesday, September 21, 2010 8:11 AM
To: gr8080
Subject: their i from reforms

Armenia also has many football venues such as the Hrazdan Stadium and Hanrapetakan Stadium.
Settlements are classified as either towns (kaghakner, singular kaghak) or villages (gyugher, singular gyugh).

"Snow white loved one particular drwarf, the one with a huge wang."

and traditional Gangsta coins II are

Water was scarce, but they installed a windmill -driven water pump and concrete cisterns for irrigating their fields. PETA also goes undercover into circuses.

My favourite spam ever had the beautiful subject line 'Mind-Wrecking Pearl Hen'

I've named several songs after favorite pharma-spams, including such hits as "Ammbjen," "Pills Botx," and who could forget "Xananan"

Rebroadcasts of member
became anti
to me

Sub-regions like Iceland, Britain and Ireland are special cases.
The current president of the NAE is Dr.

xp A few years ago I wrote a song whose lyrics were all subject headings of spam e-mails.

Group dating monorail infomercial Free forex charts doraphobia Calibration
Buy blackjack Quest impalpability Life Insurance Frizz Confabulate

*I am sorry to encroach
*into your privacy in this
*manner,
*I found you listed in
*the Trade Centre Chambers
*of Commerce
*directory here in Japan,
*I find it pleasurable to
*offer you
*my partnership in business,
*I only pray at this time that
*your address is still valid.
*I want to solicit your
*attention to receive money on
*my behalf. The purpose of
*my contacting you is because
*my status would not permit
*me to do this alone.
*If interested, please reply,
*In replying kindly state
*the following: Your full
*names, Age, and Location :
*Regards,Okauchi

What the thread title refers to as "bizarre poetry" would more accurately be called "word salad".

how about the computer generated poetry of google translate?

L’entrée en matière se fait d’autorité sur l’air somnambulique du Sleepwalker - stroboscopie et autohypnose, mode d’emploi. Voix dedans, filtrées à la Alan «Collision Drive» Vega, rythmique rock medium de la même farine zonzonnante à plaisir, tonalités laminées au bain de guitares synthétisées, circumnavigation en stase bouclée, l’horizon est : la danse de l’ours psychédélique. Circles est lancé. Le thème-et-variations statique qui suit varie peu ou prou cette matrice comitiale au chant planant robotisé, aux arrangements en pilotage automatique atonal plus ou moins gourd, ébloui de flashs (Sparks), sur tempo medium.

Translates to

The entrance is in authority over the somnambulistic air Sleepwalker - stroboscopy and self-hypnosis manual. Voice in, the filtered Alan "Collision Drive" Vega, rhythmic rock medium flour zonzonnante the same at pleasure, tone rolled bath synthesized guitars, looped circumnavigation in stasis, the horizon: the psychedelic dancing bear. Circles is launched. The theme-and-variations static varies more or less follows this matrix epileptic vocals hovering robotic arrangements on autopilot atonal more or less tough, dazzling flashes (Sparks), on medium tempo.

From: Mrs Judith Williams.

My name is Mrs Judith Williams am 75yrs old of age, i stay in new york

city, USA.I am a good merchant, I have several industrial companies

and good share in various banks in the world.I spend all my life on

investment and coporate business. all the way i lost my husband and two

beautiful kids in fatal accident that occur in November 5th 2003.

I am a very greedy woman with all cost i dont know much and care about

people, since when I have an experience of my it difficult to sleep

and give rest.

Subject: hi

How are the things.

and also:

Subject: HI

hi asshole! How are your children?

tone rolled bath synthesized guitars, looped circumnavigation in stasis, the horizon: the psychedelic dancing bear.

dooh dah getting the same spam email as me!!!!

hi asshole! How are your children?

lmao

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bangladeshi reps sugar solution continuous sonal connected stadtpark inspections
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provides savings credit ykbzlsal coxstate extensive regression
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nearby disbursing characters coordinates imudon hookes manifest kusha

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The balls have been thoroughly mixed and you should assume that all balls are equally likely to be drawn.
Andrew Woolfolk to the band.
Note that the lower half of the XMM register is unaffected by this operation. Smith's long and distinguished tenure, the institution moves to its permanent site on Murchison Road in 1907.
On 7 November 1980, Frank Duff died at the age of 91. Name was wrong when I created the page. It was followed by a second spacecraft on 7 November 1995.
Upon their arrival the inhabitants fled the city and locked themselves inside the citadel. Crop damage caused by bharal has also been seen.
New York Times, August 25, 2008.
And then they came for the Jews. Centre Le Cavalier, Place Lasalle was one of the first indoor malls of LaSalle. Margulis was a contributing editor at Mothering magazine and wrote a blog on the Mothering. Gardens in the Modern Landscape.
It has seasonal camping available, both serviced and unserviced. A study to convert U.
These heavyweight dragons have interbred in a manner that has increased their intelligence. Israeli leadership condemns the act and the organizers of the larger group of worshippers agree to pay for damages.
Lieutenant Michelle LaCroix is another officer in the NSA.

o_o

my spam scam emails have moved into some kind of paradoxical ultrarealist phase, the scam of the month is now addressed

dear scam victim

and offers to help me recover up to $500000 from the WORLD BANK/UNITED NATIONS for past victimization of an unspecified nature

Message: So many things in particular: Advisor productivity, improving distribution margins by better managing expenses and profit goals and thus, the act of speaking japaneseese., casino online, http://theonlinecasinosverige.com/"">casino online, egynsk,

him a job at an oil rig, like the one he had for 13 years. He also expects the new government to compensate him for the years he spent unemployed after Qaddafii regime officials fired him in 1990."I hope I can go back to my old job, but they have to count those years of experience... or give me a raise," he said.Although the application process was not scheduled to begin until January, several local councils began distributing the applications over the past day.Mohammed al-Shatewi, a member of one of Tripoli's military councils, said ex-rebels can apply to join the army, the Interior Ministry, a civil institution or to continue their education and study abroad.The applications ask former rebels what brigade they belong to, what their rank was during the uprising and the serial numbers of the weapons they possess. It also asks them for personal information regarding their education, marital status and if they were wounded in the uprising.Rabie al-Aib, 31, a fo e the MEK is held responsible for the killing of six Americans in the 1970s,Bloomfield cited claims that those responsible actually represented a "splinter" group no longer tied to the current MEK group.Whether or not the U.S. changes the terror designation, the U.N.-Iraq plan for resettling the residents of Camp Ashraf ultimately aims to find a permanent home for the refugees.Martin Kobler, special representative for the U.N. secretary-general, said in a letter Wednesday that the temporary relocation at Camp Liberty is "a necessary and indispensable first step towards a long-term solution." He noted that individual countries will have to decide whether they will accept the refugees, but assured that the United Nations will conduct "24/7 monitoring" of the new camp until all residents leave Iraq. The letter also said the U.S. would visit Camp Liberty "regularly and frequently."Rajavi called for "maximum vigilance" in protecting Ashraf residents.Even after the de

Observed gary getting married so excited. Cried maggie and gave his own home.
Every day the back seat. Answered adam checking her feet.

Hi recruitment.advertising,

I got your voicemail yesterday about the stock tip you want, sorry I couldnt pick up the phone I was on with the wife you know how she is but please next time don't call the house line, I would prefer if you come in to my office instead. In person is always better. Anyway your timing is impeccable you are very lucky. There's this insane little company (confederation minerals) that was exchanging hands for like a dollar and a half last year and now you can grab it for around 10 cents. These guys are sitting on gold, literaly. They have proven reserves worth a few hundred mill and theyre about to begin digging out the stuff in a few months.

You better bet the stokc is gonna go nuts in the coming weeks when they make the drilling announcement. Take care and if you need anything else give me a shout. The stokc is CNRMF and if I were you id grab as many shares as I can, everyone at the office thinks this one is gonna go up at least 5x soon.

Gertrude Schwartz

I like the idea that in 2014 we have female stockbrokers who say stuff like "I was on with the wife you know how she is"

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Love and dad was something that.
Matty and still be there. Whenever she smiled when helen had time.
Maybe we should get over his breath.
Taking care for so they.
Nothing to play with his eyes.
Something nice to make things.

From: Miranda <nickebaw @ hudsonsfamilybarbers.com>
Subject: GWU into Gloucester station

This line closed in 1978. He had disguised himself as a commoner so that he could search for a humble, virtuous wife without revealing his true rank. The metropolitan region is the largest shared between the two states. I like the shorter hook. Solomon Kol, a friend of Jack.

i think i got one from the same people - similar length email, similar flat declarative, dissociated style:

From: "Janice" <elisha✧✧✧@dstcentralreg✧✧✧.o✧✧>
Subject: Although KMT legislators accused that the apology was written on behalf for Chuang, Ma accepted the apology.

Pluggy Love in the 2008 Beano annual. SMES units was deployed to enhance stability of a transmission loop. The treaty did not achieve the intended goals. CTRL renewal and maintenance operations. However, after the police experience a confrontation from Becky, they are set free.

so fascinating

Say Anything blog post on Myspace.
In the fourth issue, he was killed.
She announced her retirement from skiing in October 2005.
Warwickshire Second XI between 1959 and 1998.
Linguistic Atlas of New England, Vol.

The poor start saw fans accuse Gadsby and the board of failing to invest properly in players for the club.

Let me implore Your Majesty to choose the former. One of them eventually took it to a local church, but it was discovered back at the original spot it was found.
Margo Montgomery in 1983. And the winner of the election for FSFE's Fellowship GA seat is .
A year later she took on the coroner's position to earn extra money so she could buy him out when he retired. They brought the people from D.
Taylor plays two roles. As of September 21, 2010. President Roosevelt and members of topmost governmental levels.

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Greetings!

I have got two not really pleasant news for you.
I have been monitoring your internet activities for some time by now.

The only person to blame in this situation is you, since you are a big fan of adult websites and also have got an uncontrollable desire to indulge yourself with another orgasm.
Simply speaking, all your porn websites search requests have become a key to access your device.
The thing is that I word in a company that provides services related to security and performance of email providers, including hotmail.com as well.

During the pandemic outbreak a lot of providers have faced difficulties in maintaining a huge number of staff in their offices and so they have decided to use outsourcing instead.
While working remotely from home, I have got unlimited abilities to access the user databases.

I can easily decrypt passwords of users, access their chat history and online traffic with help of cookie-files.
I have decided to analyse users traffic related to adult websites and adult content.
I was truly shocked to discover that nearly 75% of users regularly access porn websites or participates in sex chats.

I have filtered out the worst perverts from the list. Yeah, you are one of them. Not everyone chooses to watch such hardcore videos…
Basically, I have infected your device with one of the best Trojan viruses in the market. It was relatively easy, since I have access to your email address.
It was sufficient to prepare one of your routine emails asking you to click the harmful link…

My spyware functions as a driver. Hence, I can fully control your device and have access to your microphone, camera, cursor and set of symbols.
Generally speaking, your device is some sort of my remote PC.
Since this spyware is driver-based, then I can constantly update its signatures, so that no antivirus can detect it.
While digging through your hard drive, I have saved your entire contact list, social media access, chat history and media files.

One week ago, I have montaged a videoclip, which shows you masturbating on one side of the screen and on the other side a porn video
that you were watching at that moment of time – recently this type of exotic stuff is really popular on the internet!
Don’t worry, I will need just a few mouse clicks in order to share this video with your entire contact list and upload it to some porn website, like Bigle.
I believe that you would not like this to happen, since a long holiday season is just about to start soon –
just imagine the number of silly jokes and loud laughter that would get provoked by your video all over the neighbourhood bars and pubs…

I am offering a simple and reasonable solution:
All you need to do is transfer an amount equivalent to $1150 (USA Dollars) to my bitcoin wallet and we both forget about this silly story forever.
All your data and this video will be deleted by me once and for all. You have my honest word!
You’ve got to agree, this amount is really insignificant. Just imagine how much time and resources I have spent to get this done…
If you don’t know how to operate the cryptocurrency – you can always search for assistance online. It is that simple.

Here is my bitcoin wallet (BTC): bc1qfnx5388zl4c4hpcdsjxj0tgcn2gd8pyrljg6s6

You have exactly 2 days (48 hours) from the moment of opening this email.
I can easily track when you have opened this email (my software will notify me about it). Once you complete the transaction – I will be able to see and confirm that.
Please, do not try replying me via this email – there is no point in that (as you can see the email is sent from your address).

Remember that there is no point to complain anywhere, since I cannot be found (Bitcoin system is anonymous and I am also using I2P network in order to access your device).
I have considered all the small details.
In case, if 48 hours after you have opened this email,
I still don’t receive the required amount of money, then your videoclip will be automatically sent to all your contact list and uploaded to public websites.

Good luck and please don’t hate me too much!

This is life! You are merely out of luck this time.
Who knows, maybe next time you will get lucky at something else…

I responded with my own Tommy Wiseau-like message:

Oh hi! I cannot believe you betray me like this. You know what they say, shame on me, now shame on you. I will not pay you this money. Life is beautiful! Good luck!

-N

Good idea to get out in front of the story imo

Me say day!
Sumerian mother goddess.
Then deport her.
Gold or garbage?
Flowery design which sprung from such crucifixion.
Forbidden fear is amusing.
Ugh hair dye.
Phone Numbers Trenton engine plant at sometime soon.
Into my quote good for?

Yea thats right.
Evelyn is a transpose of matrix data.
With potentially some cap space.
Assuming there is justice.
A spirit armed in gold.
Anyone learning to both real sorry that an addict as an infinitive.
Discuss early childhood today!

Beautiful outfit and cool personality.
Emergence in mind.
Southeastern this summer.
Garden spider in web.
Jesus walking on boardwalk.
Ghost tour absolutely awesome.
Busy holistic medical doctor and nurse to registered name.
Everybody involved is your assignment on companionship.

Erect and dismantle the old rainbow apple.
Long crossover cable?
Taking high style wearing caiman boots!
Can ground flaxseed onto salad.
Anton works mainly within the mirror.

(Strange search results i don't want to click on)

Some kind of ML generated SEO text?

More tactical than strategic.
Boycott everybody who applied!
How sour it is!
Stop politics as usual?
Everybody brace for ease of riding hood.

German experimental rocketry group.
Express delivery available!
Each zinnia is unique.
External chamber is cool buy a parrot.
Bach on harmonica!
Understand who may run away laughing.

New screen name fodder.

As time wore on, simple dog commands turned into full paragraphs explaining why the dog couldn’t do something.
I hear that Nancy is very pretty.
So long and thanks for the fish.
I am my aunt's sister's daughter.
To the surprise of everyone, the Rapture happened yesterday but it didn't quite go as expected.
A song can make or ruin a person’s day if they let it get to them.
The gruff old man sat in the back of the bait shop grumbling to himself as he scooped out a handful of worms.
His confidence would have bee admirable if it wasn't for his stupidity.
We need to rent a room for our party.
There's a reason that roses have thorns.
He looked behind the door and didn't like what he saw.
While all her friends were positive that Mary had a sixth sense, she knew she actually had a seventh sense.
Her scream silenced the rowdy teenagers.
Chocolate covered crickets were his favorite snack.
There was coal in his stocking and he was thrilled.
The memory we used to share is no longer coherent.
I am my aunt's sister's daughter.
Jason lived his life by the motto, "Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.
All she wanted was the answer, but she had no idea how much she would hate it.Today arrived with a crash of my car through the garage door.
Nobody loves a pig wearing lipstick.
She had a difficult time owning up to her own crazy self.
I checked to make sure that he was still alive.
A glittering gem is not enough.
For the 216th time, he said he would quit drinking soda after this last Coke.
Yeah, I think it's a good environment for learning English.
Smoky the Bear secretly started the fires.
The beauty of the sunset was obscured by the industrial cranes.
We have never been to Asia, nor have we visited Africa.
The group quickly understood that toxic waste was the most effective barrier to use against the zombies.
It's not possible to convince a monkey to give you a banana by promising it infinite bananas when they die.
He was the type of guy who liked Christmas lights on his house in the middle of July.
The wake behind the boat told of the past while the open sea for told life in the unknown future.
The ants enjoyed the barbecue more than the family.
She hadn't had her cup of coffee, and that made things all the worse.
There was no telling what thoughts would come from the machine.
He stepped gingerly onto the bridge knowing that enchantment awaited on the other side.
He decided that the time had come to be stronger than any of the excuses he'd used until then.
Truth in advertising and dinosaurs with skateboards have much in common.
He found the chocolate covered roaches quite tasty.
Their argument could be heard across the parking lot.
People generally approve of dogs eating cat food but not cats eating dog food.
The irony of the situation wasn't lost on anyone in the room.

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This one got past the spam filter:

Buddy, u just slay me with ur affection for onanism.
It seems u’re a grown man, but u do something like this.
How often during a day you may pamper your knob? U are a kind of Olympic winner)
What is the matter with u? A psychotrauma?
If I was walking in ur shoes, I’d certainly turn to specialists for help.
When u go about something like this, u would better stick up ur web camera.
I have downloaded all your contacts from ur electronic-mail and I’m going to present your habit to your loved ones.
Who knows, what if somebody gained access to your device and is looking at you.
1050usd, BTC 1mwjqhECgY7Z3HRWgCY7CdNCJtANngpr1, within forty-eight hours as soon as you read this notice u transfer my remuneration and I’ll eliminate the dirt I have on you.
In case u flout me, within 96 h your homemade video is going to be posted on the Internet.
Do not attempt to negotiate with me, on sending this text I will delete the present address.

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From: info@*******.co.uk
To: Webmaster

You need to lose some weight and invest in your wardrobe you ugly fucker.

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flew in do man to only said is shaggy in his thing The the tone
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shore him to the and dragged dripping day Dorothy at couldn't
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riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.

otm

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genuinely want to respond to this because wtf is the scam here? subject line is "Gift Piano"

Hello,

I'm giving out my late husband's Yamaha Baby Grand Piano to any passionate instrument lover. Let me know if you are interested or have someone who would like to have the instrument.

Thanks,
Castillo M. Carmen

Pig butchering?

xp Here's the scam. They want you to pay for "shipping." You'll never get the instrument. It's a low-dollar, high-volume grift.

I encountered this in reverse when I tried to sell a piano. They sent me a certified check for the instrument plus shipping. I was supposed to pay the shipping company. The check was fake, of course.

Selling a baby grand piano is not easy.

This one made it past google's spam filters into my inbox.

"The rhythms of classical music can be so relaxing. Do you have a go-to composer or piece?"

"hello krakow
During the day, I operate as a non-verbal communication specialist and communication mentor. Indeed, that appears sophisticated but it‘s mostly about observing and decoding. Have you know that over 50% of our dialogue is unspoken? On the weekend, I‘m either deciphering ancient puzzles or entangled in an puzzle chamber.
Your turn? What you fill your days?"

spambots have been really getting into escape rooms I've noticed

hello ledge
I‘m a nurse who revels in mountaineering. Have you ever confronted a peak, be it actual or symbolic?
Warmly