Weddings

Chris has hit the nail on the head, if you really want a traditional wedding, and you think you can get it and enjoy it, without loads of other shit getting in the way, then go for it. I knew that any wedding in the uk would create hassle with the relatives 'you got invited to ours, so we should get an invite you yours' etc. I don't see them from one year to the next, and am very happy with that, in general, so why should I pay for them to be there on the most important day of my life, stressing that one or more of them is going to ruin it? (sorry, rant over)

The best weddings aren't the big extravagant affairs, but the ones where the happy couple are just that, in fact ecstatically happy, and it doesn't matter what form the day takes.

I've DJ-ed at three friends weddings and trust me, having a mate who you know well to DJ is a good thing, trustworthy and not cheesy (and also able to play favourite records without worrying about bigging up the party vibe if its a mooching and chatting party vibe).

oh, no offence soon-come brides/grooms.

At one point during the planning, it even was suggested that I don't bother inviting my own friends for the meal to keep the numbers down, just have them along for the dancing afterwards - apparently people my mother-in-law used to live next door to 15 years ago and aunts and uncles that only appear at weddings and funerals are more important to the biggest day of my life that my own best friends.

Thankfully I got my way over that, but by and large it really wasn't worth it. My parents paid for a lot of it, and thought I was getting it organised, however a lot of decisions were made or changed behind my back, some of which I didn't realise until the actual day. However my entire family and friends (about 25% of the total attendance) stayed longer, drank more, danced more and still talk about it more than the snobs the day was tailored for. So I don't feel that bad about it - they made it a great day.

My husband's cousin is in more of our wedding photos than I am. There isn't a single photo of me and my bridesmaids together. (Mother-in-law's brother took the photos).

Anyway, this is not to put anyone off, just remember it is your day. Decide what you want, and don't let anyone tell you to do it any different.

Vicky, remember I said I wish I'd done it your way? I wasn't joking.

I've been invited to another in August - same kind of set-up, and again it's running into the thousands. All these traditional weddings make me feel rather sad, we've decided to do it small and quiet when the time comes - out of neccesity more than anything else, but deep in my heart I'd love the whole works.

Can a small ceremony in a beautiful highland location be more breathtaking than a traditional chapel, flowers, whole of the neighbourhood affair?

i don't like weddings

i want to, but i don't

Weddings just distract from the party imo.

Without weddings there would be a huge void of enormous, weekend-long parties involving tents and champagne and that would be a tragedy. I'm going to one this weekend and I can't wait. I'm not looking forward to the "wedding era" of my life being over.

i have a lot of parties with champagne and friends that i do not need to go broke or wear a monkey suit for

Dude the dressing up is maybe the best thing about it! Everybody just has permission to go hog wild.

invited to an old workmate's wedding in august, with an ominous plus one. i like weddings but thought of going with a friend or just going myself is really depressing.

nobody i know ever gets married. most of my friends are in relationships of 5 years or more and none of them have tied the knot yet, only a couple are engaged. i think i've been to 3 weddings ever. i think i would probably like them (excuse to drink, lots of single women hopped up on wedding vibes).

Yeah same here. My FB feed is covered with wedding pics because it seems all my friends' friends are getting married. I've been to ONE friend's wedding (a few more relatives' ones) and that was about 5 years ago.

Dude the dressing up is maybe the best thing about it! Everybody just has permission to go hog wild.

― 40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, June 28, 2011 11:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this is true for women, but i do not feel like i have as many options at all. it really upsets me. do you feel like you can get more creative than just pants and a blazer? in the summer, this is unacceptable to me. i cannot be wearing a blazer in august. it is really traumatizing.

http://thephoenix.com/boston/life/121181-look-at-this-fucking-hipster-wedding/

http://cache.thephoenix.com/secure/uploadedImages/The_Phoenix/Life/Lifestyle_Features/main_hipsterwedding480.jpg

Just the other day I was half-wishing we'd had a bit more money when we got married so we could've had more silly fun stuff, but actually after reading that... ours was awesome as it was.

Q

How much dyou put in the card in england

Going alone

First cousins son is the groom

Thx DMcX

ps three in a fucking month I'm meant to be past this shit

pps I may not have time but otoh I may, anyone in or around Milton Keynes maybe FAP over the weekend?

I am not of this world

i'm 37 and have only gone to 2 weddings in the last 20 years

Money in cards is less of a thing over here, tbh. £100 would be generous but any denomination between £50 and £100 looks awkward so i would go for the top end.

I went to a wedding in Laois last month where my future mother-in-law managed to accidentally set fire to six of the guests' cards, so as long as you don't do that, it can't be too bad.

Did they let her off

£100! Depends how close & how flush you are of course but I wouldn't expect that much from...well, anyone, certainly not my first cousin once removed.

Yeah I was aware that it's a different culture.

Also yer weddings aren't as good.

200 per couple is about the norm here.

Lucky if you get a couple of kisses pencilled in the card from me.

How many for a cousin

max(3, round(3 * 1/(degree*removals))

I meant min() obviously.

been to a few weddings recently where they expressly said not to give them a gift. it's fucking weird and awkward when you're treating your friends like it's 1952 and they need to buy some crockery they use once a year in the house where they'll die.

got two coming up soon, one is my brother so might actually make an effort and get something nice. the other, which comes first, is two friends. as discussed on ilx menswear thread brother won't countenance me wearing the same suit to both, to the point that he says he'll pay for a second suit - nonetheless i have to get two suits in the next 3/4 weeks.

i am delighted to be best man at bro's wedding and i'll have a great time at the other one, but i gotta say these big mandatory occasions can be kind of stressful.

I'm somewhat of a veteran these days

Early on, they're stressful (not helped by a somewhat awkward family history in case of relatives weddings)

Then you get used to them and can enjoy

Then you find yourself with a bloody role and it's stressful again

Then you're past that and hey! you're the auld fella who dgaf and they're a gas day out

i mostly just don't like having plans - i spend a lot of time with friends or whatever but i tend to prefer deciding what to do 15 minutes before leaving the house. partly cos my health isn't always reliable so big hanging obligations can be stressful.

i'm sure i'll enjoy both of these, though i do have a ton of stuff to organise for my brother's. when i say organise i mean he asks me to find some alternatives to an idea he has - "you'll know better than me" - then he decides to go with the original idea. now we've settled into this arrangement it's working well.