Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

i don't think my 59 year-old, ex-army, woman-ignoring, chain-smoking boss with a limp and a gammy eye would be impressed by a "innocent veg-pot".

what does impress him

^i would also like to know

innocent veg pot buyers must be basically evil tho

I've bought the veg pots when they've been on offer in Tescos, the best thing about them is that they lack the preservatives required to stop them fermenting and will politely let you know that their best before date is approaching by occasionally exploding in your fridge.

Anyway, Lush are the worst at this stuff. They've just been hacked (and by "just" I mean 3 and a half months ago, but they noticed it today). A few of my friends have had their (non-encrypted) credit card details stolen from the site and have rung up the companies and found out they're the victims of credit card fraud now. This is Lush's site:

http://www.lush.co.uk/

The moralising on there's bad enough, if I was a successful bubble bath company I like to think I'd have the morals to shell out for basic security measures like encrypting people's credit card details or some sort of warning system that lets me know my site's been hacked, but someone really needs to tell them this probably isn't the time to "share a smile" with the cutesy puppet videos.

http://www.youtube.com/lushcosmetics#p/a/u/0/tmPgKe0E7-k

We Believe hacking is a serious crime which steals large amounts of money and disrupts the lives of cardholders.

We Believe that hacking erodes the trust between businesses and their customers and creates a climate of fear around online ordering.

We Believe in working with police and banks to do all we can to bring this branch of organised crime to justice.

"We Believe in shutting the barn door waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay after the horse has bolted because we are fucking cheapskate fucks who won't pay for basic website security the way that every other fucking online store does."

TO THE HACKER
If you are reading this, our web team would like to say that your talents are formidable. We would like to offer you a job - were it not for the fact that your morals are clearly not compatible with ours or our customers'.

YEAH...psych! That shows him!

Yeah, hacker was going "Yay! oh,..."

I've bought the veg pots when they've been on offer in Tescos, the best thing about them is that they lack the preservatives required to stop them fermenting and will politely let you know that their best before date is approaching by occasionally exploding in your fridge.

Anyway, Lush are the worst at this stuff. They've just been hacked (and by "just" I mean 3 and a half months ago, but they noticed it today). A few of my friends have had their (non-encrypted) credit card details stolen from the site and have rung up the companies and found out they're the victims of credit card fraud now. This is Lush's site:

http://www.lush.co.uk/

The moralising on there's bad enough, if I was a successful bubble bath company I like to think I'd have the morals to shell out for basic security measures like encrypting people's credit card details or some sort of warning system that lets me know my site's been hacked, but someone really needs to tell them this probably isn't the time to "share a smile" with the cutesy puppet video.

I concur with this completely random anonymous poster who I have never engaged with before but have no reason to believe is a company shill.

what does impress him

― Nigie Dempstah (nakhchivan), Thursday, January 20, 2011 11:40 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^i would also like to know

― saturday nose fever (electricsound), Thursday, January 20, 2011 11:41 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark

getting all our work done on time and accurately without asking any questions that might distract him from his dick francis novels or fag breaks. i suppose he likes pasties as well, tho.

so this isn't about pubic-hair-free nudists?

it is now...

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2009/1/29/1233235978770/Serious-Foods-Sunjuice-001.jpg

Here's a photo of the excitingly twee facility where all the yummy Innocent drinks are mass manufactured by shiny machines in a lovely village in Wales called Llantrisant.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_bN9se-ul_aE/SPAHFjy63HI/AAAAAAAABSU/vtv4I5dHwV8/s1600/sunshine+desserts.jpg

Also home to Gu, Pieminister (or it will be shortly) and the Royal Mint - the place is a fucking goldmine.

Actually it seems Sunjuice has bitten the dust and is now owned by Fruitapeel.
http://www.foodmanufacture.co.uk/Sectors/Beverages/Fruitapeel-md-announces-potential-new-jobs
Fascinating...

Fruitapeel md Terry Haigh says his firm could potentially create up to 15 more new jobs at its newly acquired fresh juice extraction facility in Wales.

Looks like the recession's over then.

How and where are your drinks made?

We want to make the best quality drinks with the lowest possible carbon impact. To do so, we buy the best ingredients there are and then find the most carbon-efficient way of getting them to our drinkers. We have a policy of moving our ingredients by land or sea only; we will not air freight them.

Our ingredients come from three main geographical areas - the UK, continental Europe and the Tropics. The tropical fruit arrives in Holland via Rotterdam, Europe's main fruit port, and is blended in Holland with the European fruit on a daily basis. We then put the blended fruit into tankers (the same as used for transporting fresh milk) and bring it by boat or rail from Holland to the UK. The tankers come to the UK ports that are closest to our bottling sites (our main sites are in Wales and Somerset) to minimise transporting by road in the UK. We then blend these ingredients with the locally squeezed fruits (eg our lemons and limes) and other local ingredients at our UK co-packing plants and then deliver the smoothies to our customers. All of this happens six days a week, as we don't squeeze and blend on Sundays in the UK. This way of blending part of our smoothies in Europe with the European fruit and then in the UK with the other fruit and ingredients means that we minimise the amount of energy used in transporting our ingredients, ensuring we get the best drinks for the least carbon.

The tropical fruit arrives in Holland via Rotterdam, Europe's main fruit port

feel like they may've missed a bit of the journey here

xxp - Also explains why the jobs page on Innocent's site only has room for wanky marketing-type jobs at 'Innocent Towers' in London's trendy London if all the actual manufacturing is outsourced to 15 blokes on an industrial estate in Wales.

tbf it's probably easier than mining.

Also home to Gu, Pieminister (or it will be shortly) and the Royal Mint - the place is a fucking goldmine.

― Ned Trifle (Notinmyname), Wednesday, 11 May 2011 08:19 (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thinking about if the aesthetic of those other thrre starts to rub off on the Royal Mint

50p coins with the queen's picture replced by an owl drawn in MS Paint

something Jonty's mate said at Bestival translated into Latin and inscribed round the edge of a quid

"CARUS FRUCTUS ET AQUA"

http://www.innocentdrinks.co.uk/AGM/qa-2010/transcripts/

I don’t know if you guys have seen sometimes but not always we put jokes actually in the ingredients panel, which is really a bit naughty. You’re not supposed to do that, but we thought it was quite funny. And we once wrote a strawberry and banana smoothie label that said on the ingredients panel “Six strawberries, two bananas, half an orange and two plump nuns.”

Quite funny.

What were you guys doing before you started the business? What did you resign from?
I used to work in an advertising agency.
I used to work for a management consultancy.
I was at Virgin, a Virgin company.

"I was a railway man, betweeen thuhuh warrrz"

"i was a violent drug abuser, one morning after killing a man i thought his blood ressembled a thickened strawberry mush and knew i had to start innocent smoothies"

When will you pay me? Say the bells of Old Bailey.

The Guardian article at http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/may/26/innocent-smoothies-charity-cash stated that the Charity passed charitable funds into the bank accounts of the Company and that the Trustees of the Charity are also the Directors of the Company. This is no different from the kind of "money laundering" that Robert Maxwell did and even he didn't use charities.

I can't believe that your response made no mention of this extremely serious governance failure and possible breach of charity financial regulations.

The money was just resting in my account!
was what was running my head reading that article

Sounds like all the Jemimas and Conrads in London's trendy west London are getting less wuicy juicy for their penny whennies:

Thanks for your comments guys.

We’re always trying to work out the best carton size for our drinkers, and over the years we’ve had quite a few requests to make smaller or larger cartons.

In terms of pricing for our new cartons, we want to be absolutely transparent.

Ultimately, it’s up to individual stores what they choose to charge for our drinks, but the RRP* for our new 750ml carton is £2.79, and for our 1.25L carton it is £3.69. This means our 750ml cartons are cheaper per pack, but cost a bit more per ml than our old 1L cartons. Our 1.25L cartons are a higher price per pack, but are the same price per ml as our 1L cartons.

Since we launched our 1L carton in 2004 we have not increased our prices. In that time lots of things have happened** which mean it now costs more to make our drinks than it used to (namely, fruit prices have gone up, and we use quite a bit of fruit).

We know that some people will be disappointed by this change, but we felt that introducing two new carton sizes at two different prices was the best way to react to the fact that, put simply, fruit is more expensive these days.

* recommended retail price
** some of us have grown a beard

http://www.sabotagetimes.com/life/f-you-talking-smoothies/

Glacéau vitaminwater is also announcing that British pop sensation and style icon Jessie J, has been brought onboard as a brand ambassador. Glacéau vitaminwater will be inviting and inspiring people to get involved in a series of exciting projects and events, in which Jessie J will be bringing to life the colour, personality and fun of Glacéau vitaminwater.

The first of these projects will be Flavour Creator, an exciting and inspiring competiton that will be inviting the public to co-create, with Glacéau vitaminwater, the flavour of the Olympic Games. Jessie J will be encouraging Britain to co-create this new limited edition flavour of the Olympic Games via a unique Facebook application [SNIP]

saw a new Innocent advert on TV the other day, could be wrong but i thought i detected a slight move away from twee-ism towards a more Graunianista wholefood seriousness in the language. maybe they've been reading their critics.

still horrible, obv.

Manchester council's 'corporate voice guide' uses innocent as a positive case study. Obv all v reassuring when they're writing to evict ppl, etc.

jesus

The more campaigns they punt, the bigger they're cunts

"too hungry to tweet"

wish this had comments so i could say i was living in darfur.

bu-bu-but where would you plug your computer in?

really dont get the fascination with this nonsense

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15014748

don't ask me, had a big fight with somebody v. close to me when i gently pointed out to them that the BNP were rocking that shit

i just ate one of those veg pots. it wasn't very nice.

on the other hand, the prospect of a possible four free lunches is appealing

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hm.

history mayne's in on this? shit, it goes all the way up to the top

i just ate one of those veg pots. it wasn't very nice.

― thomp, Thursday, 22 September 2011 14:20 (29 minutes ago) Bookmark

Me too. They're half price in Tesco and still waaaay over priced for what is essentially a couple of vegetables in curry sauce and a handful of rice.

but they're in a big heavy disposable plastic container

big fat bollocks more like.

The single-issue Tumblr we've all been waiting for

http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/10724607622/1/tumblr_ls6jcnawrm1qfbr3h

OMG @ this one.