Jesus christ there's a lot of my crazy non-chinese mother in that article including but not limited to parents feeling their kids owe them something and the instrument stuff. I played both violin and piano and the practice time thing otm. This is a really great way to make your kids great at something but suck all enjoyment out of it for them.
― ENBB, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:04 (thirteen years ago) link
man if my parents were like that about getting As in school I'd have been called "garbage" more than 30 times a month in high school
― mavisbeacon666 (San Te), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:05 (thirteen years ago) link
My mom hit me once because I got a C in shop. Anything less than As were "unacceptable".
― ENBB, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:07 (thirteen years ago) link
Which is just to say that there are parents like this and def not only Asian ones.
― ENBB, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:08 (thirteen years ago) link
o_O. geez
― mavisbeacon666 (San Te), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:08 (thirteen years ago) link
oh for sure there are. I've had friends who had such overbearing parents and see what it turned em into. it's no wonder the suicide rate is so high among teens, everything feels like life or death until you get the proper perspective as an adult.
― mavisbeacon666 (San Te), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:09 (thirteen years ago) link
whats the logic in prioritizing music over sports, sports id think correlate better to 'success in life'
― ice cr?m, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:20 (thirteen years ago) link
sports is for poor people
― Princess TamTam, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:22 (thirteen years ago) link
in sports someone else gets the satisfaction of the routine mental abuse of your child
― J0rdan S., Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:23 (thirteen years ago) link
^^^^ lol
― mavisbeacon666 (San Te), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:23 (thirteen years ago) link
lol jordan otm
― ENBB, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:24 (thirteen years ago) link
one of my favorite memories as a young teen was my brother playing in a soccer game and this anonymous parent, for whatever reason, kept riding him the whole game, and finally he said it again and my mother turned around and SHRIEKED at him to shut the hell up and leave him alone, and the sideline was silent for like a half hour.
― mavisbeacon666 (San Te), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:24 (thirteen years ago) link
haha jordan
― ice cr?m, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:26 (thirteen years ago) link
http://i35.tinypic.com/d798m.jpg
― J0rdan S., Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:29 (thirteen years ago) link
― mavisbeacon666 (San Te), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:05 (18 minutes ago)
haha god yes. i almost didn't graduate from high school. if she were my mother that woman would have had seizures.
i participated in various sports through most of my school days and i don't think i ever witnessed more parent-->child verbal abuse than when i was in wrestling during elementary school. bothered the hell out of me and made me so appreciative of my nice, supportive parents.
― arby's, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:33 (thirteen years ago) link
my parents were uber supportive. they probably went to every sporting event, recital, theatrical performance I was ever a part of up until they moved out of state 1.5 years ago.
― mavisbeacon666 (San Te), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:35 (thirteen years ago) link
sports seen as lowbrow; music seen as highbrow.
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:36 (thirteen years ago) link
haha, dude, this happened to me when i was maybe thirteen or something, and my friend/teammate's dad kept yelling from the sidelines at me during a game (he wasn't even a coach at the time) and then finally i stopped running and looked at him and just yelled "okay, okay... SHUT. UP!!". I just couldn't help myself any longer. after the game my mom was like "oh i can understand why you were frustrated but there was probably a better way of dealing with that situation..."
fucking adults amirite (btw i am 38 as i write this :/)
― dell (del), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:37 (thirteen years ago) link
keep thinking this says crazy chinese motherfuckers
― plax (ico), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:38 (thirteen years ago) link
fine motor skills vs gross motor skills xp
― tangelo amour (elmo argonaut), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:38 (thirteen years ago) link
oh i can understand why you were frustrated but there was probably a better way of dealing with that situation
probably not honestly
― difficult listening hour, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:40 (thirteen years ago) link
lol many adults need to be screamed at like kids, serves em the fuck right
― mavisbeacon666 (San Te), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:42 (thirteen years ago) link
the people above adults are even worse, though
― dell (del), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:43 (thirteen years ago) link
this thread title reminds me of rem
crazy chinese mother swallowing the oceanSeven thousand years to sleep away the painShe will return, she will return
― fat sheets of rage (buzza), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:46 (thirteen years ago) link
i just damn refused to do shit i didn't want to do like play piano etc
― deejeuner sur l'herb (nakhchivan), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:48 (thirteen years ago) link
r u chinese, if no plz shut it
― ice cr?m, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:50 (thirteen years ago) link
^^^^^Shaggy lyric
― mavisbeacon666 (San Te), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:51 (thirteen years ago) link
ice cr?m is crazn board lawyer
ain't gonna listen to u
....................../´¯/)....................,/¯../.................../..../............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...').........\.................'...../..........''...\.......... _.·´............\..............(..............\.............\...
― deejeuner sur l'herb (nakhchivan), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:53 (thirteen years ago) link
I'm using the term "Chinese mother" loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too.
reminds me of that 'azns are the new jews' model minority pos article from last year
― deejeuner sur l'herb (nakhchivan), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:54 (thirteen years ago) link
i was talking with someone a couple of wks back about family stuff and she was saying how she felt really lucky b/c her parents were so sweet and supportive... but, almost too supportive. the nature of her complaint was that she said she could tell her parents that she was up to anything in life and they would be unswervingly supportive of her. i don't think she was lamenting a permissiveness, but more almost half-heartedly wishing that they would push her more at times? she also mentioned that she had an older sibling who was ridiculously successful, so i guess maybe that figures into the picture somehow
― dell (del), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:55 (thirteen years ago) link
they've already settled imo
― all i gotta do is akh nachivly (darraghmac), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:57 (thirteen years ago) link
idk my parents have always been *pretty much* "its ur life to fuck up", this is fine w/ me
― plax (ico), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:58 (thirteen years ago) link
what is this thread about anyway
― all i gotta do is akh nachivly (darraghmac), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:58 (thirteen years ago) link
thread is about what u want it to be [via liberal caucazn parenting]
― deejeuner sur l'herb (nakhchivan), Sunday, 9 January 2011 23:00 (thirteen years ago) link
lol imo they recognize that she is cool and pretty set with good shoulders up there, and she was just being a tad neurotic. IMO
― dell (del), Sunday, 9 January 2011 23:00 (thirteen years ago) link
this thread will be more fun as it begins to reek of virtuosity
― dell (del), Sunday, 9 January 2011 23:01 (thirteen years ago) link
a good set with good shoulders is half the battle imo
― all i gotta do is akh nachivly (darraghmac), Sunday, 9 January 2011 23:01 (thirteen years ago) link
yeah, with earlobes like hers, there's nowhere to go but up towards the crown of her gaul head
but anyway, yeah, parenting, i hate it just as much as phil donahue does.
― dell (del), Sunday, 9 January 2011 23:07 (thirteen years ago) link
speaking of parenting, have you guys seen the morton downey, jr. documentary?
― dell (del), Sunday, 9 January 2011 23:20 (thirteen years ago) link
when these kids grow up they're gonna find out that their mom used their life experiences to troll for hits on the internet
― dayo, Sunday, 9 January 2011 23:54 (thirteen years ago) link
not as bad as
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/18/television-talent-children-alice-douglas/print
― deejeuner sur l'herb (nakhchivan), Sunday, 9 January 2011 23:59 (thirteen years ago) link
Love these sports stories. Reminds me of this starting at about 7 minutes in:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntisjBTiX6I
― Pete Scholtes, Monday, 10 January 2011 00:49 (thirteen years ago) link
My Dad told my Mum that she probably shouldnt come watch me play sports. Every time she did she would end up reaming me out on the car ride home about not taking sport seriously enough or w/e and I would walk back into the house in tears. Dad was a "just have fun" guy and Mum was "Fight first! Fight hard! No mercy served!" Cobra-Kai crazy woman when it came to sports. She was like town sports superstar so I don't think she really understood about not being competitive and not caring about sport (ie, my mindset as a kid)
― VegemiteGrrrl, Monday, 10 January 2011 00:57 (thirteen years ago) link
i want to apologize to sandra tsing loh for suspecting she had anything to do with this article.
― Philip Nunez, Monday, 10 January 2011 01:43 (thirteen years ago) link
I'm kind of amazed that she would publicly admit to this:
Lulu couldn't [learn a difficult piano piece]. We worked on it nonstop for a week, drilling each of her hands separately, over and over. But whenever we tried putting the hands together, one always morphed into the other, and everything fell apart. Finally, the day before her lesson, Lulu announced in exasperation that she was giving up and stomped off.
"Get back to the piano now," I ordered.
"You can't make me."
"Oh yes, I can."
Back at the piano, Lulu made me pay. She punched, thrashed and kicked. She grabbed the music score and tore it to shreds. I taped the score back together and encased it in a plastic shield so that it could never be destroyed again. Then I hauled Lulu's dollhouse to the car and told her I'd donate it to the Salvation Army piece by piece if she didn't have "The Little White Donkey" perfect by the next day. When Lulu said, "I thought you were going to the Salvation Army, why are you still here?" I threatened her with no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, no birthday parties for two, three, four years. When she still kept playing it wrong, I told her she was purposely working herself into a frenzy because she was secretly afraid she couldn't do it. I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic.
...I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts...
Lulu learned the piece but I mean, still.
― EveningStar (Sund4r), Monday, 10 January 2011 05:18 (thirteen years ago) link
Yeah if the article isnt hyperbole (and I hope it is) thats abusive.
― Ex Loin Tamer (Trayce), Monday, 10 January 2011 10:00 (thirteen years ago) link
the best part about all this is that she's a yale law professor
― dayo, Monday, 10 January 2011 10:13 (thirteen years ago) link
and never goes home.
― Mark G, Monday, 10 January 2011 10:23 (thirteen years ago) link
Funny thread, but as pointed out many times upthread, this behavior is not exclusive to Chinese parents, wtf.
Anyways, I was watching The Biggest Loser last night and there was a local (Bay Area) gal of Chinese descent on the program.
They interviewed her mother and the subtitles showed the Mom was saying something like "I am glad to have my daughter back"; however, in Cantonese I recognized her saying something like "She was so fat!" (wa ho fei wor ahhh*)
*please feel free to correct if I'm wrong.
― i love you but i have chosen snarkness (Steve Shasta), Monday, 10 January 2011 20:20 (thirteen years ago) link
Now I want to see the results of parenting by this mother and the guy who wrote this: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/how-to-be-a-father-a-guide-to-unhappiness/Content?oid=5960877
― clotpoll, Monday, 10 January 2011 20:28 (thirteen years ago) link
Guess Amy Chua’s high praise of Kavanaugh finally paid off. Her daughter, Sophia Chua, is now his intern at the Supreme Court. You don’t need to be a Tiger Mom to have successful kids, you just need to sell your soul and shit on women. pic.twitter.com/bWaSN4qFLu— Talent (@Talentiest) June 10, 2019
― Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Monday, 10 June 2019 18:44 (four years ago) link