the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

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willing to bet MM movies would be improved w/ a bizarre "comedy" serial killer schtick.

nanoflymo (ledge), Thursday, 6 January 2011 00:26 (thirteen years ago) link

well, the rabbit lady was the highlight of roger & me...

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 6 January 2011 00:26 (thirteen years ago) link

I think the editing is the secret star of these videos. They do a good job of keeping your visual interest for TWO HOURS. Hard to do.

― I Am Kurious Assange (polyphonic), Wednesday, January 5, 2011 4:28 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

Gets v predictable tho, after you watch his Ep.1 review and go onwards - comparable to Family Guy, like you know the exact moment in which a joke isn't going to be made. They're sort on par as well, as far as that "I'm a fat serial killer" theme goes. All screaming is cut short, and the repetition shtick was never funny. But otherwise I love this guy to hell.

heh (kelpolaris), Thursday, 6 January 2011 01:01 (thirteen years ago) link

If they had to "go there", a simple pan in the basement showing just a glimpse of his prisoner would have been more than enough.

The repeating, like trying to explain Junga Gin's bet with Watto, or even the "what's wrong with your face?!?!" killed me.

Funnier than the hustage scenes at least.

http://tinyurl.com/MO-02011 (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 6 January 2011 01:17 (thirteen years ago) link

That's just the Ep.1 review tho, right? He does the same basement hostage thing in each and every review and it gets tired fast. But, again, this is me bitching because I am bored and in this democracy of ilxor feel the need to state an opinion. I love the guy.

heh (kelpolaris), Thursday, 6 January 2011 01:30 (thirteen years ago) link

at least in this third review, the majority of off-topic stuff happened at the end of the videos, so you could skip if you didn't care. although i like nadine and her betty-boop voice.

there is no turning back in an art game? (reddening), Thursday, 6 January 2011 01:32 (thirteen years ago) link

i've threatened to make a fan-edit with the horror-comedy stuff excised before but it would feel too much like i was making greedo shoot first.

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 6 January 2011 01:36 (thirteen years ago) link

I never watched the new Star Warses because they looked shit, so sadly I don't get to enjoy the blissful closure provided by these rapey videos telling me they are shit

Urban Coochie Collective (sic), Thursday, 6 January 2011 01:39 (thirteen years ago) link

Not sure how to react when I hear comments like this. I myself haven't seen mega-blockbusters like Transformers 2 just out of lack of interest but Star Wars, of anything, is a cultural stape. Plus it's just like 2/24 hours of your day. It's not like you're committing to the army here.

heh (kelpolaris), Thursday, 6 January 2011 01:49 (thirteen years ago) link

6 hrs iirc

also it is universally acknowledged to have turned out to be even shitter than it looked

also there are about 20 Hitchcock films and a year of Mad Men I haven't seen, would you argue that they should get in the queue behind Attack Of The Clones?

Urban Coochie Collective (sic), Thursday, 6 January 2011 02:04 (thirteen years ago) link

There's plenty of quality stuff everywhere, I'm more saying that there are certain things in pop culture that almost bear a definition of being an obligation, no matter how bad they are. Like, as in, it's impossible to carry on conversation with most people without having seen them - and unlike flunkers of movies like Watchmen or Wolverine or whatever, the Star Wars prequels still continue to be discussed (of course, negatively) years upon years upon years upon years after they hit theaters.

heh (kelpolaris), Thursday, 6 January 2011 02:17 (thirteen years ago) link

I've still only seen 1.5 of the prequels (totally lost interest midway through Clones), and don't plan on ever "correcting" that.

Simon H., Thursday, 6 January 2011 02:27 (thirteen years ago) link

It's like you guys are trying to make me defend the films. Your choice on not seeing them, I don't care; but you're missing out on luls.

heh (kelpolaris), Thursday, 6 January 2011 02:32 (thirteen years ago) link

Like, as in, it's impossible to carry on conversation with most people without having seen them

I guess I'm lucky in not having run into most people

Urban Coochie Collective (sic), Thursday, 6 January 2011 02:34 (thirteen years ago) link

to get the luls we have to watch 6 hours of horrible shitty movies and then another 8 hours of rapey comedy reviews of the horrible shitty movies? idk mayne there's a shitload of Wodehouse I haven't re-read since I was 14 that's guaranteed to have a massively higher lol/time invested ratio

Urban Coochie Collective (sic), Thursday, 6 January 2011 02:36 (thirteen years ago) link

this has been confirmed independently by many people: watch the movies with the english off, and it magically becomes a jodorowskian masterpiece. this alchemy will make you question if you can ever competently judge a movie with subtitles ever again.

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 6 January 2011 02:36 (thirteen years ago) link

xpost

If you had done it the right way, it would be 2 hours a year with intermissions of about 2-3 years between.

heh (kelpolaris), Thursday, 6 January 2011 02:39 (thirteen years ago) link

note: the turn english off trick also works with the matrix

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 6 January 2011 02:40 (thirteen years ago) link

i don't know that the prequels have really entered the culture with any depth, other than memes like "NOOOOOOOO!" and "Jar-Jar sucks" and maybe just the generic "the prequels were shit." if you told people you hadn't seen the prequels they'd probably congratulate you tbh.

there is no turning back in an art game? (reddening), Thursday, 6 January 2011 03:27 (thirteen years ago) link

also liked the point the last review made, that the emperor is the most likable character in episode III because he's the only one displaying any sort of passion or drive.

there is no turning back in an art game? (reddening), Thursday, 6 January 2011 03:28 (thirteen years ago) link

the review is excellent and thankfully the least rapey of the three. but it made me hate myself because towards the end he complains about hayden christensen's spliced appearance at the end of jedi not making sense because the ghosts look "the way luke remembers them", and i could not keep myself from thinking that this is actually wrong, cuz the difference between vader and the others in that shot is that anakin "died" back when he looked like christensen, as in like spiritually man, and his entire existence as darth vader was a living death from which he has only now released himself, and so luke sees him as he was before he fell: the Platonic Anakin. (this is also why sebastian shaw isn't all gross and scarred and crusty in ghost-form in the un-fucked-with version.)

the reviews are very smart and accurate and cinema-literate without being myopically film-school, and they can be really educational, but mostly they're cathartic, for those of us who sat through the movies: i wouldn't really ask anyone who escaped to go back into that particular pulverized building.

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 6 January 2011 03:37 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah that makes sense. but by that logic i'd rather platonic anakin appear as the annoying little boy version, since at least that was before he became a floppy-haired douche who whined all the time and killed sand children or w/e.

there is no turning back in an art game? (reddening), Thursday, 6 January 2011 03:48 (thirteen years ago) link

For those who haven't seen the sequels: wanna volunteer your reactions for watching just a 10min portion and seeing if it provokes any laffs/u get it? Please don't do this trying to prove me wrong, it's not an opinion I'll carry w/ me 2 tha grave.

heh (kelpolaris), Thursday, 6 January 2011 03:48 (thirteen years ago) link

I KILLED THEM ALL

those balls look like a butt (San Te), Thursday, 6 January 2011 03:50 (thirteen years ago) link

THEY'RE LIKE AN ANIMAL

those balls look like a butt (San Te), Thursday, 6 January 2011 03:50 (thirteen years ago) link

http://ragrobyn.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/animal-muppet.jpg

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 6 January 2011 03:52 (thirteen years ago) link

now that would have made the movie better

those balls look like a butt (San Te), Thursday, 6 January 2011 03:54 (thirteen years ago) link

For those who haven't seen the sequels: wanna volunteer your reactions for watching just a 10min portion and seeing if it provokes any laffs/u get it? Please don't do this trying to prove me wrong, it's not an opinion I'll carry w/ me 2 tha grave.

I watched the whole thing about TPM yesterday. I haven't seen 2 or 3, but just watched the first ten minutes of the 2 review. Even though I hadn't seen it, the examples he shows comparing it to -- what was that, the Last Starfighter or somthing? -- proves his point. Then again, I haven't seen the movies so I have to take his word for it.

Turned it off at the point where he was asking his hostage for coffee.

http://tinyurl.com/MO-02011 (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 6 January 2011 04:05 (thirteen years ago) link

Commander Nefarious, Captain I'm-a-Bad-Guy & Admiral Bone-to-Pick

trap goin hal jam (Pillbox), Thursday, 6 January 2011 04:56 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLTI3lejhGg

Crazed Mister Handy (kingfish), Thursday, 6 January 2011 07:01 (thirteen years ago) link

(this is also why sebastian shaw isn't all gross and scarred and crusty in ghost-form in the un-fucked-with version.)

Sebastian Shaw looks alot older than Hayden. I mean why isnt Ewan McGregor in place of Sir Alec Guiness now?

Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 6 January 2011 10:37 (thirteen years ago) link

Commander Nefarious, Captain I'm-a-Bad-Guy & Admiral Bone-to-Pick

― trap goin hal jam (Pillbox), Wednesday, January 5, 2011 11:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

http://i.imgur.com/YP4yK.png

Princess TamTam, Thursday, 6 January 2011 11:08 (thirteen years ago) link

also:

http://i.imgur.com/2PRHF.jpg

Princess TamTam, Thursday, 6 January 2011 11:09 (thirteen years ago) link

Futurama did the name thing better, when the characters participated a Sithal War re-enactment. They fought against Darth Stroyer, Darth Trocious, Darth Sploder, Darth Urderer, and Darth Ithead.

http://pool.theinfosphere.org/images/thumb/3/3d/Darths.png/225px-Darths.png

children with wasting diseases (Phil D.), Thursday, 6 January 2011 11:39 (thirteen years ago) link

btw sic dont let anyone talk you into seeing these movies, u made the right choice

Princess TamTam, Thursday, 6 January 2011 13:26 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah, and the reviews have a lot of interesting things to say about story structure etc, but there's no real point sitting through them if you haven't watched the prequels.

In a similar vein I watched about half of the Star Trek one last night, and it was good but there were too many references to old Trek stuff I know very little about for me to bother continuing.

A brownish area with points (chap), Thursday, 6 January 2011 13:39 (thirteen years ago) link

haha thats my fav thing about the trek reviews... he really 'gets' trek! i love when he spots props reused in completely different movies

Princess TamTam, Thursday, 6 January 2011 13:42 (thirteen years ago) link

"...it just goes to show the importance of... Hey, what's that doing there? No, really! How did that GET there?"

Doctor Casino, Thursday, 6 January 2011 14:43 (thirteen years ago) link

Like I said, I never saw the movie and know nothing about the attempted assassination of Queen Amaladyada, but I was able to be entertained by his observations of the lack of logic of Obi jumping out the window, letting Boba Fett get away, the SHAPESHIFTER wearing a MASK, etc.

http://tinyurl.com/MO-02011 (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 6 January 2011 14:52 (thirteen years ago) link

the funniest thing in the whole review is the shot of Sam L. Jackson with the tip of his lightsaber at the Emperor's throat, and we cut to ANAKIN, who is RUNNING into the room, but halfway across the screen he inexplicably slows to a very fast walk and kind of quick-waddles towards them

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 6 January 2011 15:29 (thirteen years ago) link

My favourite part of the Ep. 3 review is the clip of Lucas looking at photos of sets being built and saying "my god, they're building sets? I'd better start writing the script!"

nate woolls, Thursday, 6 January 2011 15:32 (thirteen years ago) link

I love how he points out the limitations of the tiny green screen sets vs. a massive soundstage, that the actors basically have 25 feet or so to work with as they walk and stop and talk. Reminds me of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, where the running through the woods stuff was basically shot by reusing the same 30 feet of woods over and over again because they only had a limited amount of dolly tracks.

My fave bit in the Star Trek review is when he tracks on the map the progress of the elevators or whatever through the ship, revealing that a) the old Trek creators cared about such a nerdy detail (that is, that it takes x seconds to move from point a to point b in the ship) and that the nu Trek folks couldn't give a shit, since their movie is not about nerdy details, per se, but about supercharging everything. Also, he's very OTM when he details the re-quel's pervasive case of the Not Gays.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 6 January 2011 15:33 (thirteen years ago) link

For those who haven't seen the sequels: wanna volunteer your reactions for watching just a 10min portion and seeing if it provokes any laffs/u get it? Please don't do this trying to prove me wrong, it's not an opinion I'll carry w/ me 2 tha grave.

I saw a little bit of the first prequel and that's it. Watched all of the first review and some of the second, and thought they were lolsome.

emil.y, Thursday, 6 January 2011 16:37 (thirteen years ago) link

'A little bit of the first prequel' totalling about two viewings of ten minutes or so apiece, I guess I should clarify. Really couldn't bring myself to watch any more.

emil.y, Thursday, 6 January 2011 16:38 (thirteen years ago) link

Also, he's very OTM when he details the re-quel's pervasive case of the Not Gays.

LOL, especially w/Scotty and Bones, since they don't have love interests in the movie.

children with wasting diseases (Phil D.), Thursday, 6 January 2011 16:39 (thirteen years ago) link

Sebastian Shaw looks alot older than Hayden. I mean why isnt Ewan McGregor in place of Sir Alec Guiness now?

cuz obi-wan remained in the light until his death and anakin strayed from it when he was younger. and yeah shaw was a lot older than christensen but back then we didn't know how old anakin was when he became vader or what he looked like or anything and a cleaned-up and smiling middle-aged guy worked fine.

like, this isn't some hugely important part of the movie and obv it is extremely dorky to argue about and it's probable george lucas has no idea what we're talking about and just shoved christensen in there in his mania to "link up" the two halves of his "vision" but this explanation makes more sense to me than "they look as luke remembers them", which if it were true would presumably require anakin to appear in a big scary suit.

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 6 January 2011 17:28 (thirteen years ago) link

They should've done the same thing in Godfather III with Fredo, the Don and Sonny.

http://tinyurl.com/MO-02011 (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 6 January 2011 17:33 (thirteen years ago) link

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Ned Raggett, Saturday, 8 January 2011 18:20 (thirteen years ago) link

Lucas shoulda done 'pocket prequels' and made em all like trailer length instead

mavisbeacon666 (San Te), Saturday, 8 January 2011 18:23 (thirteen years ago) link

http://www.movieline.com/2011/01/george-lucas-believes-in-2012-for-real-says-concerned-citizen-seth-rogen.php

In a new Toronto Sun article, Rogen explains that a meeting with Lucas and Spielberg soured once the subject turned to Mayan calendar drama.

“George Lucas sits down and seriously proceeds to talk for around 25 minutes about how he thinks the world is gonna end in the year 2012, like, for real. He thinks it.

“He’s going on about the tectonic plates and all the time Spielberg is, like, rolling his eyes, like, ‘My nerdy friend won’t shut up, I’m sorry…’

“I first thought he (Lucas) was joking… and then I totally realized he was serious and then I started thinking, ‘If you’re George Lucas and you actually think the world is gonna end in a year, there’s no way you haven’t built a spaceship for yourself… So I asked him… ‘Can I have a seat on it?’

“He claimed he didn’t have a spaceship, but there’s no doubt there’s a Millennium Falcon in a garage somewhere with a pilot just waiting to go… It’s gonna be him and Steven Spielberg and I’ll be blown up like the rest of us.”

Young Guns aside, the western is not my favorite genre. (latebloomer), Wednesday, 19 January 2011 04:54 (thirteen years ago) link


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