your terrible ideas

actually if you threw in stuff like spinach and arugula and mushrooms and dried cranberries and chopped walnuts, I could probably appreciate the salad without any dressing. iceberg lettuce is a definite deal breaker & it's probably the reason why I have an irrational knee-jerk reaction against the word salad.

http://i52.tinypic.com/2u9mr1v.jpg

http://i51.tinypic.com/119vuk8.jpg

my idea tonight is a talking plastic figurine like Homer up there. it features a crabby old lady (possibly Maxine: see above) who sits in a recliner while her dog lies asleep in a little bed in front of the chair. the dog is wearing a cone-shaped elizabethan collar, and one of its hind legs is bandaged. when you press a button, the lady sits upright, stares her dog down, and screams, "DON'T PICK AT IT!" in an earsplitting crabby old lady voice. the dog opens one eye and whines meekly, as if to say, "b-b-but I wasn't picking at it, mommy." the sequence repeats until the batteries run out, with roughly a 2-second interval between "DON'T PICK AT IT!"s.

alternate idea: same as above, but instead of a crabby old lady, it's a balding middle-aged man who mumbles "don't scootch" at the dog in a barely audible monotone. in this case the dog is actually scooting its butt across the carpet, and it doesn't acknowledge its owner's command.

salad + toast = caesar salad

am srsly wondering whether the bleep in The Boredoms' TV Ramones comes at a proportionally similar point in the track. going to the bother of finding out would be a terrible idea but I am going to do it anyway

― schlomo replay (acoleuthic), Wednesday, December 15, 2010 11:15 PM (2 weeks ago)

I'm still waiting with 'bated breath for the results of this study.

Porno version of The King's Speech called The King's Sex, where the King works with a hot female therapist to get over his fear of sex.

YOU MUST LEAVE AN HEIR TO THE THRONE

Glad we're on the same page here when are you free to work on this with me

hip-hop album trilogy called "Rapper Run"/"Rapper is Rich"/"Rapper at Rest"

― I can take a youtube that's seldom seen, flip it, now it's a meme (Hurting 2), Tuesday, December 21, 2010 5:32 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

would read lyric booklet

The Golden Gears - a car mechanic shop that is run by four old ladies.

The Golden Grills?

A strip club called the Office: you can call home and literally say you're staying late at the Office

seems like every college town in america has a bar called "The Library" for that reason.

Results 1 - 10 of about 2,590,000 for "the office" strip club. (0.14 seconds)

still prob a terrible idea.

bonus terrible idea #1: a strip club called the Office, where all the dancers are dressed like character's from tv's "The Office"

bonus terrible idea #2: a strip club-themed strip club where all the dancers are dressed like bouncers and the bouncers dance

the champagne room is the restroom

lapdances in the parking lot

salad + toast = caesar salad

― predeep natsvitika (forksclovetofu), Thursday, December 30, 2010 10:48 PM (1 week ago)

no caesar salad will be served at salad&toast

that's my girl

a bold marketing choice

a series of bobble heads that are famous folks with parkinson's diseae

disease obv

lol

start a food company called Red Sea. the only product will be salt. on the packaging, it'll say "Red Sea Salt." people will buy it and think it's sea salt, but it's actually just table salt.

Salt that is Red

a German-American S&M club called "I Whip My Herr"

employing table as nazi-themed stomper

that's gold imo

A sequel series to Quantum Leap where Sam can travel to ANY point in time - not just dates within his own lifetime. Also maybe he can jump into other species. So maybe he travels back to the Triassic Period and he's a Plateosaurus...or 10 million years in the future and everyone is hooked up to comptuers and masturbating constantly and he has to stop them from masturbating so much. It would be called Big Quantum Leap.

Quantum (Fan) Wank

http://pighuntah.com/images/alae%20salt.jpg

an exhibition of my photography, accompanied by me playing my juno 106, called photosynthesis

and also a searing commentary on the lack of any plants in yr urban dystopias

a version of Anna Karenina starring Anna Karina

I had an idea last night for an internet service for guys where instead of finding dates, you find other guys to go with you to the bar as mutual wingmen. Something like bromatch.com

Superchunk/Shakur mashup called 2pac-y For Kitty

BAN VALENTINES DAY.

That's my idea

not terrible

BAN HALLOWEEN

and replace it with "Mandatory Worship the Christian Lord Day"

terrible!

transmit a secret message by changing your display name to the next word in the message every time you post. when the person wants ur secret message they search for posts by you, there it is.

not a terrible idea.

Doesn't actually seem so terrible when compared to Bulletstorm, but anyway... A driving videogame where all your opponent have explosive diarrhoea, and you get bonus points for making them crap themselves. Like for example you overtake one of them, then suddenly brake sharply. The bonuses could have really tasteless names, like the bonus for making an opponent crap themselves while you're both airborne would be called 'Brown Wings!'. Also the handling of the cars would gradually change during a race, as the amount of liquid sloshing around inside them increases.

oh and the game would be called 'Skid Marks'

a talking wristwatch that tells you what color stoats are.

just press the crown for a few seconds, and if it's summer, it will say, "stoats are brown, right now." if it's winter, it will say, "ermines are white, right now."

turning into an almond. I heard it is kinda nice but I think I'd regret it later.

my step dad calls my mom his precious stoat as a term of endearment.

Posting to ilx while driving down I 75 sleepy cruise control.

Diy labotomy.