I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (1396 of them)

A while back I went through security at the state courthouse while filing something for work and the deputy sheriff saw something fishy in my messenger bag. He made me pull out the questionable object which, to my horror, was a urethral sound (a friend gave it to me weeks before and I forgot to take it out of the bag). I claimed ignorance ad to what it was and how it got in my bag. The deputy just looked was dubious, but he let me go with it, though not before commenting on the price tag and saying "have fun."

"have fun"?? I wonder if he knew why it was??

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Monday, 20 December 2010 20:41 (ten years ago) link

What, not why.

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Monday, 20 December 2010 20:41 (ten years ago) link

he knew not wherefore

=(^ • ‿‿ • ^)= (corey), Monday, 20 December 2010 20:42 (ten years ago) link

i learned something today!

buzzoff (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 20 December 2010 20:57 (ten years ago) link

was it what a urethral sound is

because i didnt know either

the boobfinder general (Princess TamTam), Monday, 20 December 2010 21:01 (ten years ago) link

someone pls tell me what one is here because I don't want to google that at work

does it have to do with measuring the urethra or something?

ENBB, Monday, 20 December 2010 21:03 (ten years ago) link

urethral sound is, in fact, the name of my darkwave band

dashboard dolly (donna rouge), Monday, 20 December 2010 21:08 (ten years ago) link

was it what a urethral sound is

because i didnt know either

― the boobfinder general (Princess TamTam), Monday, December 20, 2010 3:01 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

yeah i haven't googled it yet but it seems pretty straightforward

ok i actually did just now GIS it and a)nsfw duh and b)there's no way i'd ever be able to guess the use of such a thing if i stumbled upon it in someone's bag, unless i'd seen one before (whereas other sex toys look pretty....sex toy-ish). either the dude has used one for fun, or had a medical procedure that involved one or something, i dunno.

kanellos (gbx), Monday, 20 December 2010 21:10 (ten years ago) link

yeah it looks like one of those things you measure your tire's air pressure with

the boobfinder general (Princess TamTam), Monday, 20 December 2010 21:13 (ten years ago) link

It is a slender metal rod whose medical use was originally opening a urethra that was gummed up (by STDs). My doctor told me that they are sometimes still used to stretch the urethra if it is too constricted to allow proper bladder drainage (I thought I had a prostrate problem, and my doc was telling me about possible treatments).

Sexually, they are used to stick in your urethra. V. invigorating....

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Monday, 20 December 2010 21:47 (ten years ago) link

ha, i had a somewhat similar experience at the Cleveland airport a few years ago.

i forgot i had poppers in my bag, and the security guy was just like, "what is this?" and i said, "poppers." and he was like, "what?" and i was like, "it's amyl nitrate, it's used to stimulate the blood." and he looked at me, then looked at the bottle, and was like, "well, i'm confiscating whatever it is."

he also took my jew-harp because it could be used as a weapon.

a no-fault dick to suck. (the table is the table), Monday, 20 December 2010 22:08 (ten years ago) link

tbh, i'm surprised i didn't get TONS of shit for that incident.

a no-fault dick to suck. (the table is the table), Monday, 20 December 2010 22:08 (ten years ago) link

it's used to stimulate the blood

Haha - that makes it sound like it's some kind of early 20th century quack tonic.

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Monday, 20 December 2010 22:23 (ten years ago) link

he also took my jew-harp because it could be used as a weapon.

anti-semites!

=(^ • ‿‿ • ^)= (corey), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 00:49 (ten years ago) link

urethra that was gummed up (by STDs)

my new least favorite phrase aaagggghhhh

dayo, Tuesday, 21 December 2010 00:56 (ten years ago) link

i participated in my first impromptu orgy last night

i've been seeing this boy, and he had a coldwave/minimal synth party at his place, and eventually, 12 females and (mostly) males were naked and getting super nasty.

it was called the D4RKP4RTY.

i don't feel dark cuz it was amazing, but man. i am tired.

a no-fault dick to suck. (the table is the table), Thursday, 23 December 2010 06:33 (ten years ago) link

Tabes, do you have sex with women?

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Thursday, 23 December 2010 14:39 (ten years ago) link

(Note to self: Crash Table's parties if ever in the area. Consider 'area' to be a 100-mile radius.)

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 24 December 2010 16:25 (ten years ago) link

(Next note to self: Add another zero onto the 100.)

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 24 December 2010 16:31 (ten years ago) link

ahaha.

um, i kissed a girl that night. but no, i don't do ladies.

a no-fault dick to suck. (the table is the table), Friday, 24 December 2010 23:03 (ten years ago) link

kinda like Katy Perry?

sarahel, Friday, 24 December 2010 23:18 (ten years ago) link

Always thought that song had piano-bar potential.

would like a calmer set (Eazy), Saturday, 25 December 2010 02:36 (ten years ago) link

I'm sad that her version eclipsed Jill Sobule's.

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Saturday, 25 December 2010 02:49 (ten years ago) link

Not "version," rather song of the same title.

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Saturday, 25 December 2010 02:52 (ten years ago) link

eeyup

a no-fault dick to suck. (the table is the table), Sunday, 26 December 2010 22:18 (ten years ago) link

tabes, I liked that punkboy porn clip on your blog!

(didnt get off tho)

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Monday, 27 December 2010 19:01 (ten years ago) link

URL?

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Monday, 27 December 2010 19:06 (ten years ago) link

oh and by the way, morbz, glad you liked that one. it's pretty hot, especially the kind of janky lighting during the plowing sequence.

a no-fault dick to suck. (the table is the table), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 01:33 (ten years ago) link

lmao @ "the plowing sequence"

Past Fellini Kroger but before Senor Taco (crüt), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 01:34 (ten years ago) link

is it cowpunk?

sarahel, Tuesday, 28 December 2010 01:37 (ten years ago) link

i knew that would get a lol from someone after i typed it. think i might have a display name.. no, it's 80s 'punks' fucking and sucking.

a no-fault dick to suck. (the table is the table), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 02:25 (ten years ago) link

^^i read that as "it's eighty punks fucking and sucking" and was like daaaaamn i gotta see THIS

gr8080, Tuesday, 28 December 2010 02:32 (ten years ago) link

hahaha

I thought it was going to be a clip of Table's porn.

ENBB, Tuesday, 28 December 2010 02:35 (ten years ago) link

oh hell no. i will post that when it is up tho, or at least the preview clip

a no-fault dick to suck. (the table is the table), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 02:38 (ten years ago) link

^^^ I am not sure how I feel about this.

-hot-johnny-fever- (crüt), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 02:44 (ten years ago) link

stoked for the madness

gr8080, Tuesday, 28 December 2010 02:45 (ten years ago) link

little weird, will totally watch

ENBB, Tuesday, 28 December 2010 02:45 (ten years ago) link

i'll post the preview. i mean, everyone on the gay thread already knows the site name. so.

a no-fault dick to suck. (the table is the table), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 02:47 (ten years ago) link

We will give it a thorough Pitchfork evaluation.

would like a calmer set (Eazy), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 05:37 (ten years ago) link

WDYLLTMI?

about bloody time someone stepped up

acoleuthic, Tuesday, 28 December 2010 05:39 (ten years ago) link

i dunno, that thread is history in a weird way i wouldn't post pics there.

a no-fault dick to suck. (the table is the table), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 08:16 (ten years ago) link

as always, closeups of butt penetration ew ew ew

"An industrial film covered in fur" - Robin Williams

(well, he wasn't talking about hairless twinks)

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 16:17 (ten years ago) link

so...i really hate when i can't get it up when i'm with a guy i like >:(

where they douthat at (donna rouge), Wednesday, 29 December 2010 15:42 (ten years ago) link

:(

=(^ • ‿‿ • ^)= (corey), Wednesday, 29 December 2010 16:42 (ten years ago) link

yeah that isn't fun.

um, i think i'm meeting a guy tonight. he's paying me.

a no-fault dick to suck. (the table is the table), Thursday, 30 December 2010 00:00 (ten years ago) link

How did you get this gig?

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Thursday, 30 December 2010 01:47 (ten years ago) link

Paxil makes erections fickle for me, though mostly when emotions are at play - with a totally meaningless hook-up it's never a problem, but sometimes when I start to like a guy it can be. Lol intimacy issues, I guess.

also, that Christmas tree has a dildo on its head (Jesse), Thursday, 30 December 2010 15:28 (ten years ago) link

yeah it has pretty much never happened when it's understood that it's a one-night thing, but it's happened a couple of times with guys that i'd like to see again. idk, he was very sweet when i told him i was embarrassed about it.

where they douthat at (donna rouge), Thursday, 30 December 2010 16:08 (ten years ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.