your most important local news story the world must know about

http://www.nbc15.com/state/headlines/Wis_Postal_Worker_Delivers_Mail_in_the_Buff_111856389.html

two scummy guys are friends; make a hobby of get celebrities to sign their bodies and then turning the autographs into tattoos; have falling out:

http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/articles/2010/12/21/for_years_they_called_themselves_the_signature_boys_but_not_anymore/?page=1

www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/howard/bs-md-ho-pot-arrest-20101223,0,243824.story

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/howard/bs-md-ho-pot-arrest-20101223,0,243824.story

Ok, I thought that story was awesome way back when it was just the guy crashing his BMW into the house and setting it on fire.

So this tinfoilism started in Beebe AR which is 50 miles south o' me

Dead birds falling from sky still mystify experts

just in beebe ar

:D

bs-md-ho-pot-arrest

Authorities in Calvert Co. warn residents about emu on loose

HUNTINGTOWN — Authorities say an emu is on the loose in Southern Maryland.

The Calvert County Sheriff's Office Animal Control Unit said the bird has been spotted in the Huntingtown area. Authorities have been fielding calls about the bird since November, when it was spotted in Dunkirk.

The owner of the emu has not been identified.

Emus can stand up more than 6 feet tall and run at up to 30 miles per hour. Authorities said residents should not approach the bird because it uses its legs to defend itself, and it has knife-like toenails.

HUNTINGTOWN, Md. - A bizarre story about an emu running loose in Calvert County has a sad ending.
A farmer shot and killed the emu after finding the bird off Chaneyville Road in the northern part of the county on Thursday.

"The farmer believed this animal was a threat to his safety and to the safety of his own animals, so he shot and killed the animal," Calvert County Sheriff's Office Lt. Dave McDowell says.

The farmer will not face charges since he did not violate any environmental or wild animal gaming laws, McDowell says.

It's still unknown where the emu came from and how it ended up loose in the county.

"We really don't know. It's a mystery," McDowell says.

Police had been fielding calls about the bird since November, when it was spotted in Dunkirk.

Police has warned people against approaching the bird because emus use their knife-like toenails and powerful legs to defend themselves.

An emu is similar to an ostrich, standing over six feet tall and having the ability to run at speeds up to 30 mph.

: (

was gonna say, how long before someone shoots it

A 19-year-old Hawaii woman who served as the model for the bare-breasted mermaids in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie got more exposure than she bargained for when a national gossip magazine linked her with film star Johnny Depp.

Baltimore police are seeking a man who they say dressed as a woman and pretended to be an officer.

Detective Jeremy Silbert, a police spokesman, said a man driving a blue or green Oldsmobile Alero with a blue light on the dash pulled over a female driver just after 5 p.m. Sunday in North Baltimore and asked for her identification.

She handed it to him and he left with it. Police said the woman was not harmed.

Get the new Baltimore Football app for complete Ravens coverage -- iPhone and Android versions available now!

The suspect is described as white, in his 40s, 5 feet 8 inches tall, with blue eyes and a thin build. He was last seen wearing a shoulder-length black wig, a dark jacket with a brown patch on the shoulder and knee-high boots with heels.

The man also had an identification card hanging from a lanyard with the words "Baltimore Police" on it, and Silbert said he had on dark makeup and "a lot of wrinkles."

oh oops delete that thing about the app, the world does not need to know

Get the new Baltimore Football app for complete Ravens coverage -- iPhone and Android versions available now!

xp lol

Defense: woman who killed peacock with baseball bat planned to eat it for dinner

that headline got a guffaw outta me

The Trentonian (NJ) once ran a cover about a 'murdered' pet goose with the headline (of course) "Murder Most Fowl." I mean this was the full cover, NY Post style.

800 block Key Hwy., Monday, Jan. 10, 9:45 a.m.: Two men stole two bronze sculptures from the front of the American Visionary Art Museum. Witnesses chased them, and the suspects dropped the sculptures and ran.

omg at the Peacock beating/eating lady

http://planetwebdesign.com/americacries1agc.jpg

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/bs-md-bald-eagle-killed-20110204,0,4720897.story

James Fogle, whose book "'Drugstore Cowboy" told the story of drug users who robbed pharmacies to feed their addiction, pleaded guilty in Seattle on Wednesday to a familiar crime: a pharmacy robbery.

Prosecutors will seek a 16-year prison term for Fogle, now in his 70s.

Fogle became famous beyond police lineups by writing a novel about longtime drug users who robbed pharmacies. Filmmaker Gus Van Sant turned the unpublished novel into a movie by the same name, "Drugstore Cowboy," in 1989, and Fogle's book hit shelves the following year.

Fogle also has spent significant stretches of his adult life in prison, sometimes for committing the sort of crimes he described in his novel.

Police say on May 25, 2010, Fogle and another man were trying to steal prescription drugs from Pharmaca Integrative Pharmacy, at 15840 Redmond Way. It's about a half mile from the Redmond police headquarters.

Police say minutes after the pharmacy's 9 p.m. closing Tuesday, Fogle and his alleged accomplice -- who in 1986 was convicted of a sex crime -- pushed their way into the pharmacy through a back exit door after Fogle flashed a gun in his waistband.

In addition to a pink bandanna, Fogle had a hood over his head and yellow latex gloves, according to court documents. Police say the accomplice wore a dark ski mask and a dark hooded sweatshirt.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8343172/Police-called-to-settle-extraordinary-village-tank-row.html

The huge green tanklike crane, designed to carry out battlefield repairs, has been sitting in a lay-by since new owner Nicholas Kravchenko drove it there last week.

Residents living in the normally tranquil area of Wolvercote, near Oxford, Oxon, have branded the machine an ''eyesore''.

Police have now been called in to settle the "neighbourhood dispute" amid claims the £10,000 tank was intimidating locals.

The enthusiast bought the former Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers (REME) armoured vehicle second-hand to drive it for his own pleasure to display it at shows and charity events.

Mr Kravchenko, a retired army engineer, is now refusing to move the four-tonne camouflaged vehicle, which came complete with caterpillar tracks and take up three-and-a-half normal parking spaces.

"I can go out and drive it any time I like. There's no law to stop anyone having 10 tanks," he said.

CHESTER, Md. (AP) — A deer spent 90 minutes inside an Eastern Shore home before it was herded out the front door.

Maryland Natural Resources Police Officer Robert Ford asked everyone to stay away from the open front door, and after a few minutes the deer found its way out of the Chester home Saturday afternoon. The male deer was one of three seen in the area earlier in the day by Audrey Thomas, who later noticed her neighbor's kitchen window was broken.

Inside, the deer overturned kitchen chairs and a cabinet before becoming entangled in drapes near glass doors in an adjoining office. The buck then went into a bedroom, where a hole was found in the wall, and into a bathroom, where bloody nose marks were found on a mirror.

Cops find naked man 'growling like dog' and claiming to be devil

By SCOTT SUNDE
SEATTLEPI.COM STAFF

Police officers never know what they're going to get when they respond to a call.

This week, North Precinct officers got a naked man, growling like a dog and claiming to be the devil.

He was high on drugs.

hahaha

DURGS

claiming to be devil

http://www.bridgwatermercury.co.uk/news/8953181.Crowd_gather_at_town_bridge/

Most Read

UPDATED: Mystery object brings town to standstill
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Council 'taking the pee' after bus station toilets closed
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Woman, 33, death not suspicious, say police
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Dead cow spotted in river

Over thirty people have commented on the story – with some even claiming the object is a ‘turd.’

feel like ronan and other elite comment-bombers would bring something to that page

http://www.tbd.com/articles/2011/04/md-man-glued-to-walmart-toilet-seat-58014.html

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/04/20/BAD21J40G9.DTL

They're more dangerous than they look. Take the stairs, if available.

sheeesh. my subway stop at work (like six flights of steps down) has closed the down escalator and now they're down to one up escalator and stairs so the stairs on the way home are CRAZY jammed and for the past two weeks I've been going six flights down the up escalator
kinda afraid i'm going to die an amazingly stupid death now.

"We don't know if he suffered a medical emergency."

I think dying generally falls under the medical emergency classification.

Woman cries over arrival of In-N-Out Burger to Dallas; ws anyway

(watch video)
http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/cityofate/2011/05/in-n-out_burger_is_so_good_you.php

Council members Kwame Brown

???

ws anyway

LATEBLOOMER, CONTROL YOUR DAM SWIMMERS

Can you identify this bank robber?

Cops are lucky when they have a face to put to a bank robber. But Baltimore County police are asking a lot if they expect to make a bust based on this surveillance picture.

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/news/crime/blog/bankrob1.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYh31FMicMw

http://www.hometownannapolis.com/news/for/2011/07/07-22/Peeping-Tom-sentenced-to-10-years.html

An obsession

During a police interview shortly after his arrest, Novak said he had a sickness that had gotten worse, Rogers said.

He said his obsession started with looking into windows of homes as he walked down the street. It progressed to walking up to the homes and getting a close look through the blinds, and eventually to filming women in their homes. In at least two cases, Novak broke into homes to film women undressing.

Over five weeks, three detectives investigated Novak's apparent obsession.

They searched Novak's home and seized several minicameras the size of a thumb, binocular cameras, lock-picking equipment and a computer, Rogers said.

They also found more than 2,280 video clips of women undressing - amounting to hours of filming - and a baggie of 27 ladies' undergarments stolen from homes.

Prosecutors said Novak had filmed more than 240 women since 2005. In at least three incidents, which he pleaded guilty to, Novak broke into the women's homes.

In February 2008, Novak went into a neighbor's home and stood over a 17-year-old girl as she slept in bed.

AAAAAAHHHH!!

He also filmed more than an hour of footage of the teen undressing and stole some of her underwear, Rogers said.

In one video clip, Novak's reflection could be seen in the teen's mirror as he filmed her.

GAHHHHHH!

Changed her life
Last September, Novak filmed 10 clips of a woman in her home on Crofton Parkway. One clip was filmed from a sun room adjacent to the kitchen. The woman told police Novak must have been in her home to film at that angle.

AAAAAAAHHH!

In court yesterday, the pregnant woman told Circuit Court Judge Paul A. Hackner that the invasion of privacy has changed her life.

"He has turned my home into a prison," she said.

She now keeps blinds and curtains closed at all times and doors locked. She doesn't allow her husband to attend work meetings after dark.

She said she was newly pregnant with her second child when police notified her of the footage. She has been angry, embarrassed and fearful at a time when she should have been filled with joy and excitement, she said.

Novak "knew my routine, he knew when my husband wasn't home," she said.

In the third break-in, Novak broke through the deadbolt of a front door on Fallowfield Court in Crofton, Rogers said.

At first, it appeared nothing had been stolen. But after police left, Novak showed up at the doorway. Police later linked two bras and a pair of underwear found in Novak's home to the house on Fallowfield Court.

The undergarments had been in a dirty clothes pile in the laundry room next to the front door.

Rogers called the crimes "mind-boggling" and said the hours of videotape were only the tip of the iceberg.

The amount of videotape doesn't reflect the many hours Novak spent standing outside the homes learning the women's routines, she said.

In one case, Rogers said, Novak stood on a roof to film a woman undressing in a second-floor bedroom.

A PERVERT ON YOUR FUCKING ROOF!

In court yesterday, that woman told Hackner she felt violated and powerless.

"I kept the blinds down … but it wasn't good enough," she said, explaining how Novak filmed her through the tiniest crack.

She told The Capital she has trouble sleeping and feels sick when she hears Novak's name.

Other cameras
Novak didn't just film women through windows.

Rogers said Novak, who worked as a butcher at the Giant Food supermarket in Crofton, had a camera attached to his uniform at work and would film customers' chests as they bent over to pick up meat.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

He set up a camera at a party and filmed people as they used the bathroom, Rogers said. He also hid a video camera in his mother's bathroom and filmed her on the toilet.

GUH! OH GOD.

Novak apologized to the court and to the victims. He said he hopes the victims can "get over this" and promised to never film women again without their permission.

He was sentenced to 47 years in prison - the maximum - with all but 10 years suspended.

not local to me but EGADS!

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/local/orange_county&id=8245890

"not gonna fuck it all up like that bobbit girl did."

http://i.imgur.com/eIPG6.jpg
In this Saturday, July 9, 2011 photo provided and shot by Rocco Piganelli, Piper Piganelli, Marley Meyer, and Maddie Meyer, lower left, pose for a photo Piganelli says was taken moments before a man, in the spray at right, fell to his apparent death in a blow hole at Nakalele Point in Maui, Hawaii. Piganelli, of La Jolla, Calif., told The Associated Press that he watched the man spiral down the blowhole, pop up briefly before disappearing when the next wave hit. The 44-year-old man, identified as David Potts of San Anselmo, Calif., has not been found since Saturday afternoon. (AP Photo/Rocco Piganelli)

http://www.argus-press.com/news/national/image_ecf9a7e0-8af9-59f7-b15d-3699e0eb6994.html

Do we have a thread for this, yet?