bill simmons IS bill simmons IN the book of BASKETBALL

i mean he implies he did it in secret?

but like... did she not notice he wasnt using a condom?

also isnt that essentially rape

right, it's a bullshit anecdote imo

true dat, and even though i tend to think it *feels* a little nastier coming from the dudes, either way it's just weird but still totally common. xxxxp

pretty much

i'm assuming that the birth control thing is just a really terrible joke

he just wanted to "coin" "pulling the goalie"

horribly formed joeks

it's kind of a fucked up mind that would think that joke is a good one to tell imo

it's all part of being the broiest bro

yup. he and his buds are getting immortalized in his columns as just the funniest, rowdiest, best buds ever. i mean, "the hangover" was basically a simmons column taken to its logical conclusions, with simmons' character spending the night on the roof

h8 this guys compulsive need to validate his worldview more than his worldview tbh, funny how bro culture is all abt being on the same page at all times, not exactly traditional masculinity

i think the 'segregated world view' is a red herring, idk - i dont think it means anything if u only wanna be friends w/dudes, i know plenty of people like that who manage to not publish a hardcover book containing a joke about raping your wife and then giving it a nickname like it's a wrestling move

his columns have always been littered with his pet neologisms and Rules and Theories and w/e. i know plenty of ppl that fucking LOVE coming up with shit like that, making up yr own in-crowd funny-guy cant that, in simmons' case, he seems to eagerly hope will enter the popular lexicon.

i mean i don't follow sports, and haven't read a sports guy column in years, but the Ewing Theory is permanently etched into my brain as 'conventional wisdom' now

xps

funny how bro culture is all abt being on the same page at all times, not exactly traditional masculinity

― ice cr?m, Friday, December 17, 2010 1:11 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

word

and it's not just about only wanting to be friends with dudes, its that being friends with women is impossible and sort of unthinkable. that blog that was just linked made an excellent point, that i think is totally fundamental to how he operates: he just assumes that women could never in a million years be a part of his sports-y world. like women can be sports fans, but they can't be Sports Fans. his wife being the Sports Gal is just an honorific---she's married to the Sports Guy! who else could she be!

funny how bro culture is all abt being on the same page at all times, not exactly traditional masculinity

― ice cr?m, Friday, December 17, 2010 2:11 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

this is kinda bullshit, i mean its 'bro' culture not rugged individualist culture - its about celebrating bonds w/likeminded dudes, there's no deception there

yeah i mean i've got friends w/segregated world views and they're not particularly mean about it. iirc some of them have even been to wnba games so w/e

xp well it's not that bullshit, in that these guys seem to couch their conceptions of masculinity almost entirely in broing down. if yr just going off simmons' worldview, 'rugged individualism' is something for the greats in the Pantheon, not regular men.

funny how bro culture is all abt being on the same page at all times, not exactly traditional masculinity

― ice cr?m, Friday, December 17, 2010 2:11 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

this is kinda bullshit, i mean its 'bro' culture not rugged individualist culture - its about celebrating bonds w/likeminded dudes, there's no deception there

― Pussy v. Sperguson (Princess TamTam), Friday, December 17, 2010 2:19 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permal

i wasnt saying hes trying to represent something other than bro culture just that i dont vibe it

btw i love the term 'bro culture'

ugggh that executive decision anecdote

loooool is simmons really against the idea of playing fantasy sports with a female

also lol at bill simmons employing "some of my best friends are black" argument

Sometimes I like just hanging out with my guy friends. My wife likes hanging out with her friends.

it was too bad, feel like I could have been tricked into reading this book, no longer

he really should carve out the pyramid and sell an aggressively edited 100 pg novella size version of it every other year after the finals- like how sedaris sells those same three stories as holidays on ice every effing xmas-- would read and would cut out nearly all the unnecessary "cool story bro" trash

should build a pyramid, blog from inside

"i also found his life advice to tiger woods pretty dbaggy though i don't recall the specifics at the moment."

I mostly recall his insane bit comparing Woods comeback to Ali's comeback.

his understanding of gender and women and possibly life rises to the level of a bud light ad

replicate? bud light?

HERE WE GO!

sportsguy33 Bill Simmons
Come on, UConn women! One half to go! #espnforcedmetotypethistheyareholdingaguntomyheadrightnowhelppleasesendhelp
1 minute ago

he has a daughter, right?

good luck 2 her

is that your comedy hash tag or did he really write that - if the latter that's pretty O_o

no he really wrote that

man, are there any non-shitty sportswriters at all? like who write intersting and are not douche bags?

i like brian philips but i'm guessing you mean someone from the MSM

joe posnanski

i'll take any1 at this point

roger angell is still alive

bob ryan seems like a decent guy from what I've heard of him on PTI, never read his stuff tho

In May 2003, Ryan appeared on Sports Final, a local sports talk show airing on WBZ-TV. At that time, Ryan said that Joumana Kidd, then-wife of then-New Jersey Nets guard Jason Kidd needed someone to "smack" her for taking her son T.J., then 4 years old, to NBA play-off night games where they could be taunted.[22] He accused Joumana of being an exhibitionist and using the child as a prop to get television time.

was gonna say, old ass writer gonna have some baggage

O_o thought he was a dece liberal new england dude

well he is but he said something dumb on tv, whatcha gonna do

i will h8 him 4 eternity, dont know bout u

I dunno, I see the UConn thing as more along the lines of a story that ESPN has overhyped beyond its own importance (i.e. his previous "I wish ESPN.com users could block any beaten into the ground stories. I'd block "Sterger," "concussions," "lockout" + "cell phone dongs.", or "FYI: NOBODY cares how Minny's roof collapse affects Favre's streak. We care about fantasy/gambling/playoffs + if game will be shown on TV.").

I have been reading Simmons for so long that his schticky stuff rolls right off me now, though, so maybe I don't even notice the more "women be shoppin'/bad at sports" stuff anymore. The only time I really got annoyed was after the 2007 Patriots-Colts game when he wrote some insane diatribe about how the officiating was so clearly biased and that the world was out to get the Patriots. I guess I like him when he is calling out non-story stories, and dislike him when he is making his own non-story stories.

guarantee w/zero doubt that if it was a men's team and the hype was high, simmons would either be breaking down whatever team it was with references to the nicolas colasanto seasons of 'cheers' or saying nothing negative at all.

Oh no doubt, but I honestly think if a modern men's team was about to win 89 straight, it would really be a MUCH bigger achievement. Women's basketball is super top-heavy (right now #11 Kentucky is beating Arkansas-Pine Bluff 85-21, and #7 West Virginia already beat UNC-Charlotte 71-39), and three straight undefeated seasons while presumably multiple players would be bailing to the NBA every year would be a coaching miracle. UConn's streak really is just having much better players than almost everyone they play.

yeah but it's fucking 89 games

its like saying, well wilt scoring 100 pts and averaging like 20 re wasnt as big a deal because competition back then was shit but then you have to think...fuck thats 100 goddamn points, how is there even time for that

yeah for real, and let's not pretend simmons' inevitable clowning of this achievement comes from his rather shall we say interesting views on women.