to what extent does your life revolve around alcohol?

"The harmful effects of heavy drinking were buffered when partners drank together vs. apart. Also, when both partners drank either heavy or light amounts, as long as they were similar amounts compared to their partner, it was better for the relationship than when one drank heavily and the other lightly."

Drink To Save Your Relationship

not wholly effective ime

better to both be alcoholic than just one of ye. What kind of finding is that? Codependant dependants

Not much of a surprise.

any tips on cutting back a bit?

i'm not too problematic in my behaviour or drinking, more just my existing health probs increasingly can't sustain regular boozing, and i have other stuff to do in my free time.

i don't really drink midweek but fridays and saturdays i get a major urge to do so. some sundays too.

I'm the same. I decided this year to make a concerted effort to stop alcohol being a necessary part of my life. I rarely ever drink in the week, but I decided I was sick of spending half my weekend either sozzled or hungover. I think my mindset has been that on Friday I can't wait to let loose, and this usually involves stopping by a shop and buying beers or vodkas, or going down the pub. I'm bored of waking up at 11am on a Saturday and spending the rest of the day feeling crappy, eating bad food, not having the motivation to get things done or get some exercise because I was smoking and drinking the night before. Actually, my main motive to not drink is to stop smoking (the two go hand in hand) and then feel more inclined to get more exercise.

Drinking on a Friday night has been a regular habit for me and my peer group since our late teens, however, and breaking the cycle is kind of tricky. It's finding something else to do on a Friday that everyone can get involved with and have fun doing, but doesn't involve being drunk. None of us want to turn into the kind of people who just stay in and watch TV on the weekends - I see that as just as dull and unimaginative (not to mention unhealthy and unsociable) as drinking in the pubs. Going to the cinema is okay, but not terribly sociable and fairly expensive. Board games? Card games? They're usually drinky activities on the whole - I don't see anyone not being tempted to break out a few tinnies in a poker game.

When the whistle goes at 5pm it's very hard to resist meeting up for a drink. The dilemma I find is whether to go out and drink soft drinks or whether to stay in (kinda depressing and boring, but a lot less likely to just cave and drink.)

Like you I don't intend quitting booze, and a few drunken nights a month would be fine, but I can't really physically take regular heavy sessions, and I sort of think it's keeping me in stasis as a person a bit too.

I tend to get up early regardless of drinking, and go running etc, I am going to the theatre a lot lately, so it should be feasible.

But still, as you say, solutions aren't easy in terms of reshaping your entire peer group.

Curious if anyone has had any success... ever.

The trick is to plan stuff during the day on Saturdays and Sundays - art, football, walks, some kind of course if there's something you're interested in, anything that takes a day. That's the incentive to go home there and then, or if you're going out the night before it tends to be to something more manageable like to see a film.

Being in a relationship means I increasingly yearn for the sort of big group drinking sessions that would go on three or four years ago but the range of non-alcohol based socialising that suddenly becomes more feasible is huge.

My problem is I can do that stuff with a hangover, I sort of force myself through everything as my having to cope with chronic illness has given me that ability. So I go running etc at 9am even if out till 3am. I tend to cram in stuff as well as big drinking sessions. It'd be the evenings where I'd need to plan more effectively. I sort of think to truly cut down on alcohol I'd have to be open to spending a lot more time on my own. Which is possibly fine, I like being alone, but tricky at first.

xpost I think being in a relationship would make it easier yes, but of course I see your side of it too.

I stay in and do things around the house on week-nights. It's the last thing I want to do on a weekend, even if I have stuff to do the next day (I usually do) - although yeah, having a plan for a Saturday morning is a good idea. I'm in a relationship, but that's never been a reason not to drink and see friends, for us. I'd go out and drink soft drinks if I didn't have to put up with drunk people. I find pubs to be really rather unpleasant (not to mention threatening) places to be if I'm not drinking, somehow. I feel like I'm missing out on not being like the loud stupid people around me if I'm sober and the whole experience is alienating, depressing - I'd rather stay in than go out and stay sober.

Alcohol is such an intrinsic thing for my friends and me - our relationships are largely founded on it, but it's only recently that I've started to take stock of that fact.

The other reason I want to stop drinking every weekend is down to cost; so finding activities to do in the evenings that don't cost too much is another thing.

I was drinking too much last year and I haven't been drunk since about Dec 20th. Going out and not getting drunk is actually pretty cool, I'd recommend it

I'm slowly drinking less as I get older. Now I'm in my late 30s I only get properly drunk a few times a year. This is a good thing for me as I am prone to acting like a wanker and/or having long blackout periods (during which I frequently get lost on nightbuses etc) when I'm drunk. It's still basically impossible for me to stop drinking when I get past tipsy so I try to either pace myself or just leave a bit earlier.

The only downside of this is my tolerance is going down which means I get to the dangerzone more quickly.

lg it sounds like your goal should be to slow down within your sessions? like alternating a pint with a pint of water and stuff so you can hang out for the duration without getting completely loaded.

that actually might make sense. i think cos i am into beer i tend to drink v high abv beers, cos i like the taste i guess. probably would make a big diff to avoid this.

i'm quite good at changing my lifestyle lately but i think realism has to come into it. maybe gonna start off with one weekend booze-free a month, i haven't had a weekend off alcohol in years, genuinely.

having long blackout periods (during which I frequently get lost on nightbuses etc)

You don't say? Hangovers and after-effects are getting worse as I get older, which is annoying.

The funny thing is hangovers have got better as I've got older. When I was a teenager I got really nasty hangovers even if I wasn't that drunk. Now the only way I get a proper hangover is if I go out midweek and have to get up and go to work. As long as I get some sleep I'm basically fine unless I get totally smashed.

movie nights or meals at friends' houses have replaced the pub for me this past year or so. easier not to drink if you're of a mind not to, cheap, sociable. i still sleep in on saturdays mind.

in the last 9 months i have been hitting the red wine hard.
for 6 months it was a bottle a night (plus more if i'm honest), but despite the fact that i discovered i really really like red wine, i have decided i seriously need to cut back.
main reason = the fact i am back at work, so having to face early mornings post booze is not a welcome start to the day.
also, the waistline was expanding a little too much for comfort.
so, going to try and see how life without the emo numbing effects of booze for a few nights a week is bearable.

xpost : re age/hangover : used to suffer dreadfully in my late 20s/30s, but now they are nowhere near as bad.

The funny thing is hangovers have got better as I've got older.

I actually think it's because I'm not drinking as much or as regularly as I used to

... that the hangovers are worse that is

'my life revolves because of alochol'

There's probably some element of denial in my "a few times a year" above. At least "a few" is doing a lot of work. But it is a smaller few than it used to be.

Going to the cinema is okay, but not terribly sociable and fairly expensive.

price of a couple of pints

I'd rather watch a film at home than go to the cinema, at least in the evenings.

Yes, you can get totally bladdered at home and you can't in a cinema

cinema is essentially like watching a big TV with a rubbish movie on

my answer to the original question is "rehab" but i accept i'm an outlier

Seems to be a big part of my life because beer is one of my hobbies. I go to a lot of events, special tappings, buy a lot of limited releases. I probably only drink maybe 3 times a week though? Some weeks it is more. Unfortunately beer is often not compatible with my other major hobby, running. Have to find a balance.

same prob for me, it's why it's so hard to cut down. love trying new beers and going out to do that.

beer isn't a "hobby" of mine, but being in places where drinking is a big part of it - music venues etc - is. I think I'm just going to have to get used to going out and not drinking.

Seems like still going out but just drinking less is such an obvious answer that it must have been suggested by more than one person on this revive, c'mon.

An obvious answer that doesn't really work for a lot of people (myself included). If we had healthy attitudes to drinking we wouldn't be on this thread :)

yeah, it works on paper, but i just end up drinking the same amount anyway. I wish they'd invent a flavoured non-alcoholic drink that wasn't full of sugar. A savoury drink that you could sip like a beer would be nice (but not 0% beer cos that's ricockulous).

sometimes i think i drink when i'm out because it's the only way to make drunk people bearable.

Yeah of course. Sorry. Prob thought it because gawker wrote up a website from Scotland that tries to dissuade women from drinking by aging their faces and showing "what alcohol will do to you." Which was followed by a long discussion about how Americans don't understand the level of excessive drink culture blah blah blah.

xp tomato juice!

drink expensive whisky, neat. learn to sip it, it's looks the business, nobody wants you in a round.

tried it, it's amazing how quick you unlearn to sip it

tomato juice is good, but you can drink enough of it very easily.

whisky is a good call. it's still drinking though.

oui mais lentement et doucement sm

My friends and I homebrew/are beer geeky and I crack a beer while making dinner every night (and inevitably have a couple more after). In addition, every social occasion in my group of friends is accompanied by alcohol. I don't think it's had a detrimental effect on my day-to-day necessarily. Although over December, I basically went on a bender due to having lots of time off of work, and old friends being 'back in town', then leading up to NYE and a trip to Denver where an old friend and I got tanked every night.

It was fun, but been cutting back a lot lately. Started running/eating better, and I sleep better and have better days. And I feel like I earn the drinking on the weekends a bit more. I recall some NYT editorial about drinking wherein the columnist said sobriety after a period of heavy bingeing was like a 'subtle new drug', and I would definitely echo that.

Still weird that even the most innocuous social situations seem to need to be joined with alcohol. And that none of my peers can resist the pressure. Living in a house with 3 other guys, it seems that when one of us crack a brew, the rest follow. (we're all 24ish, so I think we'll outgrow this?)

Alcohol is an integral part of my life. A couple glasses of red wine with dinner are essential; once a week I'll mix a martini or have a scotch before dinner. On the other hand, I don't go out to get drunk anymore for two reasons: I simply don't stay out as late anymore (age); and I drive myself more than I used to. It's usually a couple of cocktails or beers.

Also, upon reflection, I was mired in the expat circle of alcoholism when I lived in China post-college. We would go out and drink heavily 4-5 nights a week. Minimal professional responsibilities, and ease of access/cheap cost reinforced this tendency and I'd say the drinking was even more embedded into socializing than it is here in the US.

Glad I'm not going to turn into a ruddy-faced, pocked-up, balding, jaded old goon like the manny career alcoholics I met there. I shudder to think about what effect all the (probably) formaldehyde-laden beer I drank will eventually have on me.

Whisky i think i will drink for the rest of my life. My great-grandparents were bourbon drinkers 'til the day they died, which was over a century after they were born. Plus it's lighter than beer, and if i stick to whisky i will never throw up no matter how much i drink.

I can't remember the last time i've had anything to drink tho, which is part of a New Years resolution where i also severely cut back on smoking. When i was 22 or whatever i would drink every day, cos when you are 22 you can do that and it won't kill you the day after.

I really don't like going to bars, I'm pretty anti-social alot of times and I'm cheap, so my idea of partying down is buying a bottle and hanging out at home.

Drinking is a huge part of American culture and it's kind of sad and the older i get the sadder it seems. I think alot of the value comes from using it as a social signifier, proclaiming to the world that you are cool and like to party and are some rad Dionysian poet in some way. In think in some weird way it has the same function that keeping your lawn mowed when you are a 40-something suburban dad does. Only it's also bad for your body. And it may get you laid.

I bar-tended for a while a couple years ago and it was alot of fun and i had more luck picking up girls than in 10 years of playing music.

I think alot of the value comes from using it as a social signifier, proclaiming to the world that you are cool and like to party and are some rad Dionysian poet in some way.

so so otm, and every way of drinking and engaging in drink is over-coded with meaning, from the status of grown-up drinks and Mad Men atavism thru the student party ethos to the beer buddies scene to the two-fingers at society thru barflyism right down to the public excess of the street-drinker writing their nihilism and despair super-large thru public degradation

alcohol in the west is irremovably wrapped around our social existence, to the point where not drinking is in itself a huge statement

think my ideal drinking would be three drinks per night--a beer or glass of wine w/dinner, a stronger beer or cocktail after dinner cleanup, and a whiskey leading up to bedtime. most nights i'm slightly over that :/

My drinking was curtailed by (a) working in a bar where I saw more than one regular customer degenerate from teetotal to shambling, foul smelling jakie to dead person, which really took the shine off the boozing and, later by (b) having kids, which made hangovers a million times harder to handle. If you have not kids, but do have relentlessly energetic friends, arrange for them to drag you out of the house for physical exercise at 8 on a Saturday morning. It isn't so much having something planned, it's having somethig planned that other people are expecting you to be and and which will, if you are hungover, make you feel horrible. This is what kids do.

still doesn't work for me. i get up at 8 anyway and then the exercise makes me feel good and by 4pm i'm ready for a pint.

By the time i was 30 i had realized that most of my friends were highly functioning alcoholics.

still doesn't work for me. i get up at 8 anyway and then the exercise makes me feel good and by 4pm i'm ready for a pint.

― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 16 January 2013 16:47 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Aw bloody hell, I could kill a nice Leffe about now.