Game Dev Story: how to succeed on the App Store without even bothering to resize the graphics

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Hahahah =)

Frank Lloyd Webber (Trayce), Thursday, 2 December 2010 06:03 (thirteen years ago) link

how exactly do you market a poncho game is the real mystery of this game. how can you put those ponchos in the perfect gameplay environment to really maximize the pleasure poncho fans can take in them?

antexit, Thursday, 2 December 2010 06:06 (thirteen years ago) link

So I rush-developed Minge Wars and Super Sperm and got average reviews, then chucked a load of money at Paul Hogan II and also got average reviews. Nothing I do or change influences anything, and now my funds are dwindling. Not sure how much longer I want to keep at this.

Interests: eating my cookie (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 2 December 2010 06:23 (thirteen years ago) link

Paul Hogan! I was just thinking about him while playing World's Shortest Lists. (it's lonesome at the top on the Funny Australians list)

antexit, Thursday, 2 December 2010 06:29 (thirteen years ago) link

Boring Shit and Get Fucked got 4s and Suck My Nuts got 3s. This game is not fun.

Interests: eating my cookie (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 2 December 2010 06:43 (thirteen years ago) link

maybe there's something about the way you're branding your IPs that makes people wary?

antexit, Thursday, 2 December 2010 06:44 (thirteen years ago) link

oh god its daytime in australia

BIG MUFFIN (gbx), Thursday, 2 December 2010 07:34 (thirteen years ago) link

When I was still playing the game, I released the "Cuntkicker!" series to great acclaim, even crossing over thru multiple consoles. Unmatched success until I brought out the dating sim "A Child Sharts"

Crazed Mister Handy (kingfish), Thursday, 2 December 2010 07:52 (thirteen years ago) link

Got well into my second concerted effort tonight, and things are going much better. I made it my mission to have a hardware engineer on staff asap, and to advertise more, and to fire more people rather than training people up so much. All are working well as strategies.

macaroni rascal (polyphonic), Thursday, 2 December 2010 08:46 (thirteen years ago) link

shasta games?!

mo loko (cozen), Thursday, 2 December 2010 08:51 (thirteen years ago) link

OT (only on iphone these days dawgggggg

i grabbed Driver yesterday, that was legendary on my ps1, along with GT1 and HotShots1)

i love you but i have chosen snarkness (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 2 December 2010 09:04 (thirteen years ago) link

if u have any doubt make an animal action game

i dunno, i'm '9 years in' and i've had like 8 hall-of-famers, this game is kinda easy no?

how do i get a hardware engineer?

shirley summistake (s1ocki), Thursday, 2 December 2010 14:44 (thirteen years ago) link

you fuckers are making me want an ipad now

old LOKO heads (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 2 December 2010 15:22 (thirteen years ago) link

as soon as you get the first hall of fame game you pretty much have to try to fuck up. hardware engineer gets unlocked as when you have one employee who's levelled up in all the regular jobs... which i think is dumb. I guess being able to compose a top-notch soundtrack for a golf game on Game Gear wouldn't hurt as a console developer but it's hard to see it being necessary

antexit, Thursday, 2 December 2010 15:28 (thirteen years ago) link

wait, you have to level them up, then switch them to the other jobs, then level them up again?

shirley summistake (s1ocki), Thursday, 2 December 2010 15:38 (thirteen years ago) link

i just keep firing dudes and hiring fancy new ones

shirley summistake (s1ocki), Thursday, 2 December 2010 15:38 (thirteen years ago) link

that sounds like classic shortsighted management strategy! a common mistake companies make who get early success and a cash infusion!

antexit, Thursday, 2 December 2010 15:41 (thirteen years ago) link

how exactly do you market a poncho game is the real mystery of this game

Poncho lovers go for Action RPGs. Herpes Enclave worked on this a little, but decided not to pursue the Poncho Action RPG past a single research title: Poncho only has a 'C' popularity rating, HE is built on the Pubic Stroker cutie simulator franchise and Violated Fox virtual pet online sims.

Thx ilx. hate this game. 4am last night. But I think yeah I'll be bored of it by this evening.

portrait of velleity (woof), Thursday, 2 December 2010 15:46 (thirteen years ago) link

wait, you have to level them up, then switch them to the other jobs, then level them up again?

Yeah, but imo it's prob best to do it with the fancy sorts you get later – they're often a little closer to the goal thanks to filled out job histories, and they'll end up with mad stats as they get levelled. (Though Mr X, who doesn't look that impressive, is apparently a common choice for Hardware Engineer training.)

I don't really get it, though. If I've got say a L.5 designer with 246 graphic skill, and a L.3 hacker with 260 (+ he/she used to be a L.5 designer), is it better to set the designer or the hacker on the post-alpha character design, ie do job titles matter or is it just stats?

portrait of velleity (woof), Thursday, 2 December 2010 15:55 (thirteen years ago) link

because you see, mark, it's easy to throw money at your staff pool and stack your workforce with a lot of young hotshots, but where does that get you? You've got a staff of young hotshots all earning top dollar with no dynamic between them, on salary so you're paying them for their off days rather than just contracting them in--all of whom are used to calling the shots creatively because they're accustomed to the deference that comes with being the best in their field! how do you expect to manage those people effectively as a team?

Now if you take a loyal workforce and train them up to that level, you get to where you want to be professionally a little slower, but when you get there you know how to work together!

i predict one shiny overdesigned gears of war type of game that wows everyone for a second and then nothing but a big fizzle and a bunch of overpaid whizkids draining your working capital dry.

antexit, Thursday, 2 December 2010 16:01 (thirteen years ago) link

not playing this but u guys are killing me w/the lols on this thread so thx

O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Thursday, 2 December 2010 16:18 (thirteen years ago) link

ok guys, i haven't looked at this since i played through it once a few weeks ago but you're making me want to play again and livepost all of our companies updates

Mordy, Thursday, 2 December 2010 16:32 (thirteen years ago) link

i just booted it up and founded Bloody Stool Studios and then immediately upon zeroeing in and aiming for one of the tiny little buttons to start hiring it jut seemed like a huge drag

antexit, Thursday, 2 December 2010 17:00 (thirteen years ago) link

livepost all of our companies updates

ILXors who don't own iPhones could just post scatological studio/game names?

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Thursday, 2 December 2010 17:08 (thirteen years ago) link

Just what we needed on ilx, a place you can go to spout vulgar nonsequiturs!

antexit, Thursday, 2 December 2010 17:32 (thirteen years ago) link

Hot Carl XTreme

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Thursday, 2 December 2010 17:36 (thirteen years ago) link

That sounds fun! What popped into my mind was a 16-bit bobsled kart racer

antexit, Thursday, 2 December 2010 17:38 (thirteen years ago) link

I thought more like a crappy mid 90's snowboarding sim.

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Thursday, 2 December 2010 17:58 (thirteen years ago) link

Did a sequel to my poncho action RPG after all. Skiddy Wool2 won game of the year! Architecture online sim Built of Shit was a succes d'estime, now back to $$$ cutie simulation w/ Penis Liaison2.

portrait of velleity (woof), Thursday, 2 December 2010 19:53 (thirteen years ago) link

Skiddy Wool sounds more like a longjohns simulator

antexit, Thursday, 2 December 2010 20:54 (thirteen years ago) link

Orrite your tips have convinced me to try again. Started from scratch with Perineophiliac Studios.

Interests: eating my cookie (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 2 December 2010 21:13 (thirteen years ago) link

Nope. Up Hilary Duff didn't make enough money, HI DERE was pulled off the market before I was ready to stop selling it, and now I have an Exodus licence and no cash to develop a game for it. Baleeted.

Interests: eating my cookie (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 2 December 2010 21:31 (thirteen years ago) link

Now that's more like it!!

Top Sellers:
Greek Ladyboy 4: 24.48 million units
Cow Farts 2: 16 million
Artery Ninja 2: 16 million
Booty Quest: 14.7 million
Flyin' Dragboy 2: 13.7 million

Codeo Labs' "Coccyx" is a revolutionary 64-bit BD-ROM.

Codeo has 27 hall of fame games and a 18% market share. 180 million units total

macaroni rascal (polyphonic), Friday, 3 December 2010 09:59 (thirteen years ago) link

Monkey Island creator Ron Gilbert talks about Game Dev Story

zappi, Friday, 3 December 2010 20:49 (thirteen years ago) link

"And of course, it's unrealistic to think that a company would release a game without fixing all of its bugs," Gilbert added. "That would never happen."
har har Doesn't FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS deserve its own thread? har

old LOKO heads (forksclovetofu), Friday, 3 December 2010 22:27 (thirteen years ago) link

this game plateaus so hard. once you do okay once, it's easy peasy street and there's nothing new for you to do or new challenges to face. kinda lame.

shirley summistake (s1ocki), Monday, 6 December 2010 22:43 (thirteen years ago) link

I am definitely finished with it but I still enjoyed the journey.

macaroni rascal (polyphonic), Monday, 6 December 2010 23:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah, for a game that cost about as much as a pint of beer, I got my money's worth.

Crazed Mister Handy (kingfish), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 04:20 (thirteen years ago) link

me too, i just wish it went somewhere and got different u know?

shirley summistake (s1ocki), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 04:27 (thirteen years ago) link

otm about the plateuing, the only replay valu I got was I realised I'd been doing it rong a lot the first go-round so when I hit 20 years I started again (you bring over your levelled up genres) and this time round it is a lot easier.

manic pixie dream girl phenomenon (Trayce), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 04:28 (thirteen years ago) link

Still, it idles time at the train station and whatnot.

manic pixie dream girl phenomenon (Trayce), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 04:28 (thirteen years ago) link

dont miss your train!!

shirley summistake (s1ocki), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 04:32 (thirteen years ago) link

I hear rumours about NEW SECRET CONSOLES if you play past 50 or 75 years or something, is it true?

JimD, Tuesday, 7 December 2010 05:01 (thirteen years ago) link

If nothing else, I am looking for whatever next Kairosoft put out. Also, I really dig the 16-bit pixel art design.

Crazed Mister Handy (kingfish), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 07:59 (thirteen years ago) link

Dunno about secret consoles, but you get extra console design options if you have 4 Hardware Engs in your team (and another with 6). And there are a few hidden characters - Kairobot joined Herpes Enclave for the home stretch (still had to go through his agent & pay him to appear at GameDex, swiz).

everyone otm about plateauing - there's no risk after one or two hall-of-famers. There's stuff to do - 40/40, a 60+ million seller, levelling characters, multiple game of the years - but you likely won't go out of business.

portrait of velleity (woof), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 14:31 (thirteen years ago) link

lol android

tickle me imo (s1ocki), Sunday, 12 December 2010 22:21 (thirteen years ago) link

:( truth bomb

smoke on this^ one (cozen), Sunday, 12 December 2010 22:29 (thirteen years ago) link

just don't think the public were ready for sexy golf 2

cozen, Monday, 13 December 2010 18:17 (thirteen years ago) link

cunt puncher studios resumé to date

quim story 35,335
quim-to-mania 55,724
finger fantasy 118,945
killathon 95,240 (innovative "marathon"/shooter crossover again not sure the public were ready for my vision)
sexy golf 69,308
sexy golf 2 50,998

cozen, Monday, 13 December 2010 18:27 (thirteen years ago) link


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