your terrible ideas

http://www.innovativeenterprise.co.uk/images/next-level-logo.jpg

http://www.okaygreat.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/beard7.jpg

You could then centre part the hair on top of your head, and use hair gel to make it into a giant Head 'Tasche.

``THE MESSAGEBOARD MURDERS``:

a guy posts to an internet messageboard, gets hounded off for making racist statements about football players. he decides to start his own internet forum, with only himself participating, but in different voices...as different made-up posters. he devotes all of his spare time to starting threads and crafting intricate drama and conflict, flamewars, banning controversies, etc... he finds himself more involved in his creation than he ever was on the "real" messageboard that he formerly posted on, or even in any of his past real-life social interactions. it's his obsession, it consumes his whole life, blah blah blah.

during a several day bout with the flu, he is too sick to keep up with his board. when he returns to it, the board has mysteriously taken on a life of its own. all of the fictitious posters have continued posting in character, as if he had never taken a break from the thing. as well there are a gaggle of new posters participating. he decides to follow along silently for a couple of days and wracks his brain trying to find a logical explanation for what he is witnessing (the forum is pretty much ungoogleable and new posters are only allowed with the approval of him in the role of the board administrator...furthermore, his pc was powered off during the duration of his illness, and he has always maintained a scrupulously secure setup, with no room for someone else to be able to keep tabs on what he has been doing online or on his machine)

after a particularly heated online argument one evening, a long-time poster is summarily banned. the next day, while scanning the front page of his local morning newspaper, our hero is shocked to learn that of the brutal murder of a young person in town sharing the same name as the banned poster from his fake messageboard. at this point he is losing it, but he continues to haunt his board for the next week or so, as meanwhile the same horrifying pattern continues, bannings and then murders, with the victims sharing the banned fake posters' names. he finally decides to have a go at participating in his creation once again, and begins to post under the name of his favorite character, the first poster he ever invented for the game. ...and omg, you won't even believe what happens after that!!

A hint of Sombrero Fallout, there?

I work in a bookstore, and I see the things that are published as if they are a "take a memo, ""Racist Zombie Book"", I want a draft by Monday".

I want to make a book that is full of racist zombie comedy. "Black people are all "I like to eat ribs", Zombies be all "RIBBZZZZ" , White people are all like brainy, Zombies be all BRAINZZZ; with funny pictures. I'm not trying to hurt people with racism, I'm positing a terrible idea that is full of racism.

kinda thinking that such a book already exists, you caught a glimpse of the spine of it in the store where you work, and then it got lodged in your subconscious before coming out the other end in the guise of a terrible, original idea

there is a sequel to that 'stuff white people like' book ffs. and i'm sure they sell like, zombie plush dolls and all kinds of crap like that. it's just a mushing of those two ideas along with a tribute to shitty standup comedy tropes

del that's at swim, two birds

or mulligan stew

same thing tho

http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172261764l/156192.jpg

i had to google that brautigan one, hmmm...

actually, i was thinking it was more reminiscent of some early stephen king short story or something!

wow, have you read that coover book?

yeah it's good, a lot more readable than his other stuff. recommended.

ok, thanks! the amazon reviews are intriguing me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9fc-crEFDw&feature=player_embedded

Lancing the Boyle - Documentary in which Scottish Youtube sensation spends a week teaching music at public school

have been thrashed @ football on the hallowed fields of lancing on >1 occasion iirc

xp I was thinking 'huh? Frankie Boyle?' but realised that you probably meant Susan.

Lancing the Boyles - Followup in which school pageant is organized by unlikely showbiz 'couple', comedy ensues from mixture of cloying sentiment, misanthropy and privilege

i can only hope u don't sign up for some terrible spurlockesque documentary where u live your life according to the teachings of yahoo answers

― Ectothiorhodospira shaposhnikovii (nakhchivan), Thursday, December 2, 2010 10:07 PM (32 seconds ago) Bookmark

a ringtone which is the exact sound a phone makes when vibrating on a table

is this a request? i think i can do this one. (the ringtone, not the boyle lancing)

inflatable furniture you say?

http://gizmodo.com/5705388/dont-worry-the-balloon-bench-wont-float-out-of-your-house

But it's not really floating! The balloon 'strings' are cables!

starting a consulting firm whose motto is NO CEILINGS

it was a disaster when HOOS's consulting firm moved to vietnam during the monsoon season

vietNAM - a vietnam war themed vietnamese restaurant

your spaghetti with marinara sauce actually explodes, splattering red sauce everywhere

Pho Chi Minh's

to target the lucrative market of young people with extreme lifestyles,

a brand of hand sanitizer called HAND INSANETIZER!!!!!!

vietNOMNOMNOM

Pho Chi Minh's

― It's Ong Like Donkey Kong (latebloomer), Sunday, 5 December 2010 08:15 (4 hours ago)

guessing that already exists somewhere in the world

Trumbull in the Jungle - SFX auteur's vituperative documentary about the destruction of Congo's highland rainforest

it's gotta be a motion simulator ride, because IIRC trumbull basically left hollywood to focus on stuff like that

Mikki Vainilli - No way! Yes, Vanilla are teaming up with Tampere's finest this Christmas, all proceeds to RNLI

Geirbox - Limited edition collection of Geir Hongro posts recorded by Veggard Heggem onto a vintage wax cylinder, encased in Norwegian wood

The Lee of Trife - Controversial 16mm documentary in which Lee Renaldo's gambling debts entail period of enforced serfdom in Wu affiliate's Poughkeepsie diploma mill, the University of Trife

that's a great idea actually

well done me

a beer called Fractional Reserve where each bottle is only like 1/7 full.

To be served in a glass half empty?

A form of music combining Jungle and 'musique concrete', called 'Concrete Jungle'.

Stable of magazines for people who think they're alright, but nothing special. 'Fairly Attractive Woman', 'OK at Cooking', 'Relatively Competent Man' the launch titles? cld be realistic, aspirational titles for ppl with self-esteem issues. 'Happy Enough' mag profiling people who are doing ok, feeling alright about things? Dunno, haven't thought it through.
Anyway, SWOT analysis:
S: Brand is honest, realistic, reassuring, values appealing to many in these tough economic times.
W: Possibly subconsciously stolen from somewhere? Brand displays offputting lack of ambition.
O: A lot of people who are like this, probably
T: All other magazines are basically like this already with less explicit titles?

i love swot analysis we should apply it to all these (your) terrible ideas

S: no-one's done it before
W: ...because it's a terrible idea
O: go down in history as a spectacular failure
T: from the lawyers of those affected by your scheme

haha - whenever I hear/think about SWOT analysis, I think about feeling like a hostage in board/staff retreats where this is often done, and dreaming about being rescued by a SWAT team.

"You are surrounded. Put down the flip chart markers. Do not think that you can use that whiteboard for cover. Our bullets will pierce that shit and penetrate your vital organs."

terrible lack of concision in yr SWAT instructions

brevity or gtfo in a live fire situation please

"Drop that copy of 'Peopleware', asshole!"

someone else's terrible idea; the term 'peopleware'

It makes me think of those restaurants where you can eat food off of people.

S: You have flipchart markers.
W: You cannot use that whiteboard for cover.
O: You can surrender.
T: Our bullets will pierce that shit and penetrate your vital organs.