Kids say the darndest things

Uh oh...

veronica otm

hahahahaha

: D

Ad on TV: ".. and eight out of ten people agree this (whatever) performed the best"

Alice (now 10): "hmm. I wanna know what the other two said"

i was at office xmas party and people brought their kids. a lot of the kids already knew each other from hanging out before. one little girl walked into the room:

boy: lily's here! [walks up to her, pauses] did she shrink?

lol

Me and the Beeps in my car parked at a strip mall waiting for my mom to pick up the pizzas we'd ordered.
Me: "Ooooh I want to look inside that thrift store."
Beeps: "Me too! Let's go!"
Me: "Sorry, Babydoll. Its closed right now."
Beeps: "No its not."
Me: "uhhh yes it is.
Beeps: "NO its NOT"
Me: "YES it IS"
Beeps: "NO ITS NOT!!"
Me: "YES IT IS!!!"
Beeps:" YES ITS NOT!!!"
Me: ***silence***
Beeps: "Mommy, I said 'YES ITS NOT!'"
Me: "Look, lady, don't be trying that game on me. I INVENTED that game!'
Beeps: "Yeah? Well I HATED that game!!!!"

LOL.

Veronica: the horse has to get a tattoo to prove himself!
Me: wtf

Real life lols right here

Seems like everyday they have a conversation based around their endless play-adventures which cracks us up. Yesterday, Ava was conducting a chat between two reindeers...

R1: "Why are you sitting down, we have so much to do!"
R2: "Haven't you heard? Christmas is cancelled because all the children have been turned into SKELETONS!"

Right now, they're dangling their Lego Bionicles over the banister on the stairs (on string/ribbon which Ava appears to have knotted herself) and are talking to each other in robot voices. They've been doing this for HALF AN HOUR. Oh, and now it's a robot sea shanty.

:) My boys call them Bahnicles.

Wtf is a Bionicle? We're still on Lego Duplo...

i thought it was like steve austin and jamie somers???

apparently Veronica has now named several of her Legos people after the members of Schwantz's family ("does Tracy want to ride the bus? wait for Ben and Owen!" lol)

:)

Beeps and I were at McDonald's on Saturday where an employee (who was young and, as I would reluctantly point out, a bit dimwitted) came by our table. He asked how old she was and I told him almost four. Then he asked if I was her grandfather.

Now, I had gone out and stayed past curfew for the first time in awhile the night before. I was unshaven, wearing my glasses and a checkered flannel shirt. But man, even from someone who appeared to not be all there, it kind of hit hard. Even after the guy moseyed on, Beeps picked up on it right away.

B: "That man said you were my grandfather."
PP: "Yes, I heard him."

OLD WOMAN IN BOOTH BEHIND US: "It's okay! You don't look that old!"

Anyway. I think Beeps thinks she's found something useful to use in conversation. Like yesterday, as we were getting ready for me to take her and her little brother over to my dad's house.

B: "Where are we going?"
PP: "You're going to spend the afternoon with your grandparents."
B: "I'm going to spend the afternoon with you?"
PP: "I'm not your grandfather!"
B: "Well, everyone says you are."

From upstairs, I could hear Sunny exploding with laughter. She's the one who transcribed the above conversation.

Hah.

Not quite as bad, but from Howie who'd drawn a picture of his family the other day: "That one is Daddy, that one is Howie and that one is Archie. And that one (points at short stumpy one) is you, Mummy, because you are very short."

"I'm not a snack, I'm a person!"

omg

That was too all of the recent updates btw.

On rainforest fauna:

'Is the rainforest where reindeer live?'
'Is it called an aye-aye because it has two eyes?'

Ben (looking at a picture on my shirt): "That's a barrel."

Owen: "Keep your paws to yourself is a bear-rule."

clver!

During a conversation about where babies come from:

Howie: "When me and Archie were in your tummy we played lots of games together."
Me: "I don't think you were in my tummy at the same time as Archie. You came out two years earlier."
Howie (brightly): "That means I won!"

Ah, but ...

I was explaining the whole "eggs in mummy's tummy" business.

Alice: "But how did the eggs get there?"
Me: "They were all there when Mummy was born"
Alice: "hmm. So, that means My egg and Amber's egg are exactly the same age"
Me: ".... yeah!"
Alice: (saying nothing, but now has decided Amber doesn't have 2 years superiority anymore)

― Mark G, Friday, 13 February 2009 11:10 (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

So, Howie and Archie were definitely in, at the same time!

Proven by science!

Lulu made a sort of dog today, from crepe paper and plastic. "Daddy, he's very strong and if you try to break him, he will set you on fire." "Wow, what's his name?" (pause) "His name is If You Try To Break Him He Will Set You On Fire."

And They Will Know Him By the Trail of People Who Tried to Break Him and Were Subsequently et on Fire

No, you see, Daddy He's Very Strong and If You Try To Break Him He Will Set You On Fire is the name of my dog.

"Mummy, you are good at telling off, and opening."

Me: Cole can you pick up that (unused) diaper on the floor please?
Cole: Daddy, that is NOT a diaper, THAT is a pull-up.
Me: Ok pal.

I have that exact same conversation once a week.

this is not as exciting as many of these updates, but my 18-month old exclaims "OHHHH DUDE!" whenever she sees an airplane.

hahahahaha

i guess it is an appropriate response to seeing an airplane.

totally

whenever cole see an airplane he yells out "BUZZ LIGHTYEAR TO FINITEE AND BEYON"

"daddy i washed my WEINER"

where the f did he learn that one.

not a sentence, but this morning my son did a gigantic poo in his potty (he is potty training) and disappeared behind the door on his way to empty it out in the toilet - he came back a second later kind of grinning and held up his hand for a high-five

(and then went and emptied it)

haha. i am scared of potty training, but i guess we'll have to get going on it soon. our friends with a slightly older kid did this potty training "boot camp" kind of thing where it was like an intense weekend of not leaving the house ... which sounded terrible, but it seems to have worked?
anyhoo, my daughter's main verbal thing now is "book-a-book-a-book-a!" repeated over and over when she wants to read a book. or read another book.

From last Friday: "I hope Godzilla's okay."

: |

Oh, and he's got the chorus to Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" stuck in his head too.

"WWGD?"

> "I hope Godzilla's okay."

don't let him watch the very first godzilla film - they explode all the oxygen in the water where he is and the last thing you see is his ribcage settling on the bottom.

luckily for the franchise this is followed by a scientist saying that further nuclear testing could easily produce more godzillas.

Yeah, he thinks black and white is boring anyways. : )