your terrible ideas

a t.v. show hosted by Patti LaBelle where she counsels trouble teens and sets them on the right path called SAVED BY LABELLE

SO it's like edible underwear?

if we were talking for real, let's say it's an orange scented surgical mask that comes with a little pouch of granulated Vitamin C dust. Chug the dust, doff the mask, it'll keep you safe and well on your flight

That's a great advertising slogan:

'Chug the DUST - Wear the MASK'

I can imagine a plan full of guys in foil print tattoo t-shirts wearing orange masks shouting (a bit muffled) "fuck yeah!"

Beeps has taken to asking for Orange Dust instead of orange juice. We weren't sure if she had been given some Tang somewhere, so we asked what she was talking about. She said orange juice tastes like orange dust to her, ergo…

But it made me think about this mask thing. How hard would it be to have inside the mask a pouch filled with dry orange pulp? Surely that pulp they take out of pulpless orange juice has to go somewhere, right? I'm thinking we get with Tropicana and offer them a solution to disposing of their waste byproducts.

Or since the dust is orange coloured, maybe we could use vitamin C enriched Cheeto/Wotsits dust?

My terrible idea was enacted last night:

"Nuclear Winterval" - where we all get together to watch The War Game and Threads and public information films about what to do in the event of the bomb dropping. And also eat mince pies.

awes

I had this terrible idea today while travelling by bus. It follows on from the 'book of pictures of things written in the dirt on white vans' idea, and is this: a book of Zen koans and other BRANE ASPLODE type slogans written in the dust on the back of a bus. Seems that the backs of buses are especially dusty. Anyway, today I saw the phrase 'I AM CLEAN' written in the dust on the back of a bus. It is the exact opposite property (the bus is dirty not clean) that enables the message to be written in the first place.

tumblr to book deal imo

hoxton bro-scene energy drink called 'fuselage' that contains 4x the recommended daily limit of viagra

Jaar .jar binks - Limited edition archive of novelty fileformat videoblogs from Chilean techno wunderkind

Illegal drug called "Time Machine" that puts you in a coma for a year

book idea: "Zombies Be All..." goofus and gallant style race-based comedy LOL zombie mash.

Tonight's terrible idea - this post. My previous post is a serious terrible idea that I've been coming back to in my head for several days. I work in a bookstore, and I see the things that are published as if they are a "take a memo, ""Racist Zombie Book"", I want a draft by Monday".

I want to make a book that is full of racist zombie comedy. "Black people are all "I like to eat ribs", Zombies be all "RIBBZZZZ" , White people are all like brainy, Zombies be all BRAINZZZ; with funny pictures. I'm not trying to hurt people with racism, I'm positing a terrible idea that is full of racism.

I'm also sorry I posted on this sub-forum and disrupted the flow of an exchange I've enjoyed lurking. I regret everything I post on the Internet these days. I hope this is the last post under this identity. I can't even get into the gmail account linked to it. It would be okay to make these posts go away.

in conclusion, I suck and my posts suck, and my terrible ideas suck, but they are terrible.

I'm quite a clever fellow in real life, my friends are often terribly amused. I don't mean friends exactly. Some people I know. at my job. I'm all like "RACIST ZOMBIE HUMOUR BOOK!!!" and they're all like "okey doke"

I could just keep typing. I may be sick, I've had a strange taste in my mouth all evening.

sorry.

You may want to ease off the cherries and ice cream, Zachary Taylor.

Illegal drug called "Time Machine" that puts you in a coma for a year

― old LOKO heads (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 30 November 2010 02:47 (Yesterday)

aka Light Speed

aka Flight of the Navagator

Zachary Taylor have you spent any time on Cape of Good Hope?

A moustache that is underneath the bottom lip, called an 'Under 'Tache'.

Zeedonk - Donk microgenre from Frisian Islands, 160 bpm see shanties with electro stabs and sick lyrics about fishing, drunken violence in depressed fishing towns

Put a donk on Brel's 'Amsterdam'.

otm

undertache is a soul patch, no?

I was thinking that by careful combing/training it could be made to resemble an upside-down 'tache.

need to see this to make an informed comment

Even terrible-r idea - the Triple 'Tache. Comprised of:

• a regular 'tache,
• an under 'tasche as descripbed above,
• a Tuomas style chipstrap with the sideburns and most of the jawline removed and the remainder shaped to look like a regularly oriented 'tache, just on the point of your chin.

I'm worried that 'taches 2 and 3 might look too much like lips, prompting comments like, "trying to grow a new mouth, eh?" don't get me wrong, it's a perfectly good terrible idea — I just wouldn't want to be the pioneer, that's all.

google search for understache suggests the web equates it with soul patch

Waxing the soul patch to look like a Dali-esque 'tasche?

I mean, that would totally out-do Dali in the facial hair stakes. Even more so if you grew a Chin 'Tasche and waxed that as well.

http://www.innovativeenterprise.co.uk/images/next-level-logo.jpg

http://www.okaygreat.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/beard7.jpg

You could then centre part the hair on top of your head, and use hair gel to make it into a giant Head 'Tasche.

``THE MESSAGEBOARD MURDERS``:

a guy posts to an internet messageboard, gets hounded off for making racist statements about football players. he decides to start his own internet forum, with only himself participating, but in different voices...as different made-up posters. he devotes all of his spare time to starting threads and crafting intricate drama and conflict, flamewars, banning controversies, etc... he finds himself more involved in his creation than he ever was on the "real" messageboard that he formerly posted on, or even in any of his past real-life social interactions. it's his obsession, it consumes his whole life, blah blah blah.

during a several day bout with the flu, he is too sick to keep up with his board. when he returns to it, the board has mysteriously taken on a life of its own. all of the fictitious posters have continued posting in character, as if he had never taken a break from the thing. as well there are a gaggle of new posters participating. he decides to follow along silently for a couple of days and wracks his brain trying to find a logical explanation for what he is witnessing (the forum is pretty much ungoogleable and new posters are only allowed with the approval of him in the role of the board administrator...furthermore, his pc was powered off during the duration of his illness, and he has always maintained a scrupulously secure setup, with no room for someone else to be able to keep tabs on what he has been doing online or on his machine)

after a particularly heated online argument one evening, a long-time poster is summarily banned. the next day, while scanning the front page of his local morning newspaper, our hero is shocked to learn that of the brutal murder of a young person in town sharing the same name as the banned poster from his fake messageboard. at this point he is losing it, but he continues to haunt his board for the next week or so, as meanwhile the same horrifying pattern continues, bannings and then murders, with the victims sharing the banned fake posters' names. he finally decides to have a go at participating in his creation once again, and begins to post under the name of his favorite character, the first poster he ever invented for the game. ...and omg, you won't even believe what happens after that!!

A hint of Sombrero Fallout, there?

I work in a bookstore, and I see the things that are published as if they are a "take a memo, ""Racist Zombie Book"", I want a draft by Monday".

I want to make a book that is full of racist zombie comedy. "Black people are all "I like to eat ribs", Zombies be all "RIBBZZZZ" , White people are all like brainy, Zombies be all BRAINZZZ; with funny pictures. I'm not trying to hurt people with racism, I'm positing a terrible idea that is full of racism.

kinda thinking that such a book already exists, you caught a glimpse of the spine of it in the store where you work, and then it got lodged in your subconscious before coming out the other end in the guise of a terrible, original idea

there is a sequel to that 'stuff white people like' book ffs. and i'm sure they sell like, zombie plush dolls and all kinds of crap like that. it's just a mushing of those two ideas along with a tribute to shitty standup comedy tropes

del that's at swim, two birds

or mulligan stew

same thing tho

http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172261764l/156192.jpg

i had to google that brautigan one, hmmm...

actually, i was thinking it was more reminiscent of some early stephen king short story or something!

wow, have you read that coover book?

yeah it's good, a lot more readable than his other stuff. recommended.

ok, thanks! the amazon reviews are intriguing me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9fc-crEFDw&feature=player_embedded

Lancing the Boyle - Documentary in which Scottish Youtube sensation spends a week teaching music at public school

have been thrashed @ football on the hallowed fields of lancing on >1 occasion iirc

xp I was thinking 'huh? Frankie Boyle?' but realised that you probably meant Susan.

Lancing the Boyles - Followup in which school pageant is organized by unlikely showbiz 'couple', comedy ensues from mixture of cloying sentiment, misanthropy and privilege