your terrible ideas

cuckoo four loko puffs

http://www.foodcomm.org.uk/parentsjury/Awards%20Feb03/coco_pops.jpg
"My name's Loko
and I live in a tree
I drink alcohol for breakfast
regularly
I sleep in a
cardboard box
But I'd rather have a bowl of
Loko Pops, oh yeah...

<voiceover> Loko Pops are so alcoholic, they even turn your piss brown."

So... I'd rather have a bowl
of Loko Pops. <disco synth tom sound>"

Terrible idea for an elaborate joke involving dropping a pachyderm on top of someone like a comedy piano routine. This will be called "The Elephant Of Surprise".

could be a good name for a magic trick

or an elephant

Trying hard not to read Snoball's lyrics to the tune of Luka.

Calling your child something like Coughboughtoughroughthoughthrough to teach it many of the idiosyncrasies of the English language by the time it's learnt to spell its name.

That child might be the offspring of Frank Bough?
http://hub.tv-ark.org.uk/images/presenters/images/presenters_b/frankboughnw74-01.jpg

Oh and re: helium filled furniture, a van passed by me today with 'BUOYANT FURNITURE' written on the side. It was going over a humped-back bridge at the time, and there was a noticeable 'lift' as it went over the top.

Do you live inside a Richard Scarry book.

Well now you mention it, the van was being driven by a raccoon wearing lederhosen.

Richard Scarry Moving Company: Specialists in buoyant furniture, anthropomorphism and labeling things with their proper noun names

A W-bend to replace U-bends in plumbing so you can store twice as much crud in there before you need to clean it out.

a plumbing school in Bend, Oregon, called U-Bend. the name would have trifold significance, viz.:

• University of Bend
• "u bend over, u show a little crack, u learn how to unclog those pipes" (school motto)
• the u-shaped plumbing device that traps crud and keeps out sewage fumes

Pacqyderm - Filipino skincare clinic franchise

footboxing - five minutes of football followed by both teams pairing up and beating the shit out of each other for a round, winner determined by goals or knockout, whichever reaches 4 first

I thought they were the same thing?

.....

Today's terrible idea: invent an all "American" casserole called "Sister Golden Hair Surprise"

Sligohasu - Irish version of same

would it be categorized as a 'hotdish' abbott?

I don't know where the ______ surprise/hotdish worlds overlap tbh.

Today's terrible idea: invent an all "American" casserole called "Sister Golden Hair Surprise"

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 02:13 (5 minutes ago)

Ok, yes, having a casserole with the word "hair" in its name is a terrible idea, especially if that word is followed by "surprise."

I was thinking it could be angel hair pasta.

Maybe both people eat it, starting at opposite sides, until they meet in the middle.

Or maybe there's a surprise in the middle, and you serve it with a little placard saying "would you eat me in the middle?"

Mersebox - Limited edition diamante encrusted cigar box filled with vials of Paul Merson's pancreatic/seminal/cerebrospinal/septic fluids

no. i mean, yes. in a 'no' way.

change your facebook name to 'You' and then like everything in your newsfeed. so that when people see items that you've liked, all they see is "You likes this"

I can't tell if the bad grammar helps or hinders your terrible idea.

or the fact that it would say, for example, "You Robinson likes this"

"Your self likes this"

How about an account called "Your mother", so teenagers will see "Your mother likes this" and be instantly put off fro liking whatever it is themselves.

orange scented surgical masks from Airborne to wear on flights that give you high doses of Vitamin C while protecting you from germs on the plane
3 cents to make, sell for 6 bucks

That's not a terrible idea, as long as you're the one making the money from the masks.

a mask that delivers vitamin c would be expensive and impossible to make

that Facebook account should be called 'Nobody'

he who talks loud, saying nothing

"nobody robinson likes this"

"nobody but robinson likes this"

xp the mask delivers vitamin c because you eat it.

a t.v. show hosted by Patti LaBelle where she counsels trouble teens and sets them on the right path called SAVED BY LABELLE

SO it's like edible underwear?

if we were talking for real, let's say it's an orange scented surgical mask that comes with a little pouch of granulated Vitamin C dust. Chug the dust, doff the mask, it'll keep you safe and well on your flight

That's a great advertising slogan:

'Chug the DUST - Wear the MASK'

I can imagine a plan full of guys in foil print tattoo t-shirts wearing orange masks shouting (a bit muffled) "fuck yeah!"

Beeps has taken to asking for Orange Dust instead of orange juice. We weren't sure if she had been given some Tang somewhere, so we asked what she was talking about. She said orange juice tastes like orange dust to her, ergo…

But it made me think about this mask thing. How hard would it be to have inside the mask a pouch filled with dry orange pulp? Surely that pulp they take out of pulpless orange juice has to go somewhere, right? I'm thinking we get with Tropicana and offer them a solution to disposing of their waste byproducts.

Or since the dust is orange coloured, maybe we could use vitamin C enriched Cheeto/Wotsits dust?

My terrible idea was enacted last night:

"Nuclear Winterval" - where we all get together to watch The War Game and Threads and public information films about what to do in the event of the bomb dropping. And also eat mince pies.

awes

I had this terrible idea today while travelling by bus. It follows on from the 'book of pictures of things written in the dirt on white vans' idea, and is this: a book of Zen koans and other BRANE ASPLODE type slogans written in the dust on the back of a bus. Seems that the backs of buses are especially dusty. Anyway, today I saw the phrase 'I AM CLEAN' written in the dust on the back of a bus. It is the exact opposite property (the bus is dirty not clean) that enables the message to be written in the first place.