Who Wants to Marry A Totally Broke Dude?

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http://gayjourney.com/maps/canada.jpg

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:49 (twenty years ago) link

My mom was married when she was 19, but I'm not worried about living up to that. Plus, she's divorced now.

Are you miserable single? Do you really need to get married or just get a nice steady?

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:49 (twenty years ago) link

Marriage ain't all its cracked up to be. ;)

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:50 (twenty years ago) link

Oh, don't. Please.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:51 (twenty years ago) link

Chris, did you have a bachelor party/stag night/whatever you call it over there?

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:51 (twenty years ago) link

Do you really need to get married or just get a nice steady?

Okay, then rephrase the question. Who wants to blow a totally broke dude?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:52 (twenty years ago) link

yes, but it didn't involve any strippers or anything like that. I don't go for that. We BBQ'd in the afternoon, drank beer and played baseball. Then we went to Mohegan Sun Casino for a night out gambling, drinking and eating.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:54 (twenty years ago) link

I live in fear of my friends playing a horrible "joke" on me at mine. I don't like surprises. Yours sounds good.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:55 (twenty years ago) link

no surprises. just a bunch of assholes imitating the movie "Swingers" all night.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:56 (twenty years ago) link

I'm hoping we'll imitate "Lost Boys". That would be cool. "Very Bad Things", however...

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:58 (twenty years ago) link

better yet would be a Goonies-themed bachelor party.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:59 (twenty years ago) link

But without the scary guy whose name escapes me for now.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:02 (twenty years ago) link

http://fms.komkon.org/fMSX/snaps/Goonies.gif

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:03 (twenty years ago) link

Corey Feldman?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:03 (twenty years ago) link

*rimshot*

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:05 (twenty years ago) link

We must bring this back to the top of the list as it's very important.

Mr. Mann, What are you looking for in your life mate?

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:31 (twenty years ago) link

I know a very nice girl who'd like to have a date with you, Horace!

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:33 (twenty years ago) link

If you can dance, I know a girl who might be interested.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:34 (twenty years ago) link

I too know of even a couple girls who would be interested, but I'm not gonna introduce you, cuz I called dibs!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:47 (twenty years ago) link

I can dance, but not well (or in a dignified manner).

What are you looking for in your life mate?

Here it would be funny (although probably not at all uncommon) for me to--having pointed out my many shortcomings--have unrealistic expectations as to the standars a woman must live up to in order for me to be satisfied.

Alas, I am no hypocrite (in that dept. at least). My ideal woman must posess:
1. Sense of humour
2. Patience
3. Independence (because sometimes I just like to be alone, and someone who doesn't understand that, well, they wouldn't understand)
4. At the very least an interest in artistic/cultural things.
5. Patience
6. whatever the opposite of gullibility is, because sometimes I say outrageous things with no basis in fact
7. A tender heart

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:49 (twenty years ago) link

Hey, I'm all that. How far are you from Winnipeg?

― Jodi (Celerina), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:53 (twenty years ago) link

You two could meet for coffee in Virden!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:56 (twenty years ago) link

And a bag of chips, Jodi?

― Sarah MCLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:56 (twenty years ago) link

back off, Jodi, I saw him first!

(a popular technique learned from the auction house)

― Helouise Manfredd (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:58 (twenty years ago) link

And they lived happily ever after...

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 18:59 (twenty years ago) link

You really should add "has money" to your list, Horace.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:01 (twenty years ago) link

Of course there are chips, too! Snack foods are important.

― Jodi (Celerina), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:02 (twenty years ago) link

Seriously, look at all the fine places to eat in Virden! The Elegant Moose! The Bump and Pit! And while you're there you can gaze in awe at Bill Murray Motors and wonder what the hell a hollywood star would be doing running an auto dealership in Virden.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:02 (twenty years ago) link

How could a relationship that starts at the Bump and Pit go wrong?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:03 (twenty years ago) link

hey I'll die lonely but do I care?! do I?! pfft!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:03 (twenty years ago) link

I have some money, but I don't know if it's enough for me to afford a kept man. Horace might have to get a part-time job, just for some walking-around money.

― Jodi (Celerina), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:05 (twenty years ago) link

The CREEMEE drive-in is my favourite. I say it over and over again everytime I drive past it...CREEMEE CREEMEE CREEMEE CREEMEE...

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:05 (twenty years ago) link

I've been there! I had a milkshake. It was very reasonably priced.

― Jodi (Celerina), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:06 (twenty years ago) link

just for some
walking-around money.
oh, that reminds me. I also don't drive. Is that a deal-breaker, Jodi? I hope not, cuz I already told my mom.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:07 (twenty years ago) link

It's fine if you don't drive, as long as you can read a map, and navigate while I drive.

― Jodi (Celerina), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:15 (twenty years ago) link

There's just something satisfying about eating a meal or some ice cream treat with the smell of crude oil wafting around. It's just so special that it can barely be beaten.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:20 (twenty years ago) link

Seriously though, Horace. You should date Jodi. I have dated her (not for a really long time, though, but she hasn't changed much except for the better - she's no longer with me!). She's very cool.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:50 (twenty years ago) link

I'm not sure where I stand on 'recommending one's exes to others' testimonials.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:53 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah. I was just gonna say...

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:54 (twenty years ago) link

I KNEW IT MIGHT BE A MISTAKE!!!

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:55 (twenty years ago) link

Just thought I'd give it a try. DAMMIT! Sorry, Jod!

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:55 (twenty years ago) link

Not to objectify Jodi (or any women for that matter), but it's sorta like saying, "you should eat this sandwich, I've already eaten it, but I'm not eating it now'

okay, it's actually nothing like that at all, but I thought it would be a funny analogy.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:55 (twenty years ago) link

also, who's going to recommend me to Jodi?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:56 (twenty years ago) link

FUCK NO!!!!!! We were just kids! We're great friends now!!! Do you think I would recommend a friend for such a thing if it wasn't truly a good idea? COME ON!

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:57 (twenty years ago) link

Sh can make up her own mind, Horace!

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 19:58 (twenty years ago) link

Maybe now is the time for me to bow out gracefully, and go back to my regularly scheduled spinster librarian life.

― Jodi (Celerina), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:01 (twenty years ago) link

I like the way you pass her around like a box of Altoids, then assert that she can make up own mind. ;-)

If you don't drive, H, how are you going to get ot the Bump 'n Pit?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:02 (twenty years ago) link

chickenshit.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:02 (twenty years ago) link

CRAP! This will be my last post to ILX... FAREWELL!

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:02 (twenty years ago) link

(oh yeah, name-calling, that's how to smoove the ladies, Horace, kicking it old skool, kicking it pre-skool, even)

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 20:03 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 38 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

no, I got (a shitty little) one from my brother, quite unexpectedly.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 8 May 2003 17:53 (twenty years ago) link

That picture is from a google for "Hawaiian crap", btw.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 8 May 2003 18:01 (twenty years ago) link

all things considered, that's nowhere near as bad as it could have been.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 8 May 2003 18:03 (twenty years ago) link

Also, Jodi, you should be aware, as I became during my morning bath, that I have very large feet, and large toes, even in proportion to my big-fat feet.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 9 May 2003 13:48 (twenty years ago) link

Are you very unsubtly trying to tell her that you are extremely well-hung???

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 9 May 2003 14:01 (twenty years ago) link

no, I think I already mentioned that upthread. I'm serious, my feet are honkers.
I guess I never really noticed before, but my new apt. has no shower, so I've been taking baths lately, and my feet are ragers. You could park a pimped-out Esplanade on each of my dogs.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 9 May 2003 14:05 (twenty years ago) link

Baths rock though, don't they?

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 9 May 2003 14:36 (twenty years ago) link

http://images.tvnz.co.nz/tvnzenterprises/common/brands_logo_big_dogs.gif

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 9 May 2003 14:37 (twenty years ago) link

they take so damn long, though. And you have to be all careful to get the temperature right.
But, you can't drink coffee and smoke in the shower.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 9 May 2003 14:37 (twenty years ago) link

What's an Esplanade? Is that anything like that new SUV, the Escarole?

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 9 May 2003 14:40 (twenty years ago) link

isn't the Esplanade the Cadillac SUV?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 9 May 2003 14:42 (twenty years ago) link

That's an EsCalade, no?

I only know that from watching Cribs, btw!

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 9 May 2003 14:46 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.limobuses.com/vehicles/escalade.gif

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 9 May 2003 14:48 (twenty years ago) link

yes. you are sooo right. I thought Esplanade was it, because doesn't that mean a walkway? And isn't that ironic?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 9 May 2003 15:04 (twenty years ago) link

es·pla·nade ( P ) Pronunciation Key (spl-näd, -nd)
n.

A flat open stretch of pavement or grass, especially one designed as a promenade along a shore.

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Friday, 9 May 2003 15:06 (twenty years ago) link

thank you

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 9 May 2003 15:09 (twenty years ago) link

yeah we gots an esplanade is Boston.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 9 May 2003 15:10 (twenty years ago) link

and you walk on it.
which is why it would be funny if an anti-pedestrian machine was named that.

it would be like naming a pick-up truck the Crosswalk.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 9 May 2003 15:11 (twenty years ago) link

So, had any luck, Horace?

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Monday, 12 May 2003 16:12 (twenty years ago) link

can't talk, on honeymoon

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 May 2003 16:59 (twenty years ago) link

You went without me?

― Jodi (Celerina), Monday, 12 May 2003 17:26 (twenty years ago) link

uh...
Oh my God! Who is this woman in bed with me? I was sure it was you! At least she reminded me of you. In that she's a women. Oh crap.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 May 2003 17:27 (twenty years ago) link

How do you plan to sweet talk your way out of this one, lover boy?

― Jodi (Celerina), Monday, 12 May 2003 17:39 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.creativecyberspace.com/greetingcards/thumbs/candyheart.gif

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 May 2003 17:43 (twenty years ago) link

Awwww, how can you resist?

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Monday, 12 May 2003 17:50 (twenty years ago) link

Aw, smoochypants, all is forgiven. Come on home. Rest your giant feet on the coffee table and watch the clay-mation Conan O'Brien with me.

― Jodi (Celerina), Monday, 12 May 2003 17:55 (twenty years ago) link

(sigh) I do love you.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 12 May 2003 17:57 (twenty years ago) link

SUCCESS!!!

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 12 May 2003 18:15 (twenty years ago) link

seven months pass...

http://personals.fark.com/profile.aspx?bookmark=nfAKIIpg8s4%3d

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 5 January 2004 22:07 (twenty years ago) link

Now With 40% Less Money!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 14:55 (twenty years ago) link

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