MOSS TO PATS! HOLY WOW!~

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“When he told [the players] that he was cutting Randy, it was like a double-shot of pure caffeine,” a team source said. “It was one of those moments where you’re just jolted up, like, ‘Whoa, what just happened? Did he really just say that?’

“Really, I thought he was joking, then I realized it was Chilly and he doesn’t joke. Well, he jokes, but it’s not funny.”

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 12:38 (thirteen years ago) link

why's his nickname "chilly"?

"creepy" fits better tbh.

Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 2 November 2010 12:39 (thirteen years ago) link

im wondering abt this too, i mean obvs it a diminutive of his last name but there has to be more

Years ago, Childress criticized veteran pro bowl center Matt Birk for attending the birth of his child, and he fined WR Troy Williamson for attending his grandmother's funeral. That's why Brad Childress earned the nickname, "Chilly". Well deserved.

\(O_O)/

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 12:46 (thirteen years ago) link

I always think of this lil fella when someone calls him that:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjRACCuh3vc

He just wants some pancakes ):

Princess TamTam, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 12:46 (thirteen years ago) link

i want some chilly pancakes, too.

and for evil intellectual liberal elites to stop eroding our freedoms and creating a socialist, neo-nazi state.

Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 2 November 2010 12:48 (thirteen years ago) link

wish list ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

chilly pancakes no. 1, btw.

Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 2 November 2010 12:48 (thirteen years ago) link

http://i53.tinypic.com/ac6h54.jpg

Princess TamTam, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 12:49 (thirteen years ago) link

could a kindly benefactor with access to ESPN premium articles post barnwell's list of how randy would fit by team?

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 16:38 (thirteen years ago) link

really want to know what that restaurant was

goole, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 16:44 (thirteen years ago) link

Randy Moss' second stint in Minnesota is over after four games in which he averaged about 44 yards receiving per contest, assuming he appears on the waiver wire today. While we wrote soon after he was dealt that Moss couldn't solve Minnesota's offensive problems, not even the most pessimistic expectation suggested Moss would be done with the Vikings by November. And yet, here we are.

The loss of a draft pick aside, from a tactical standpoint, it was easy to waive Moss because he really wasn't producing all that much. Our concern with the Vikings' offense was Brett http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG's struggles on intermediate-range passes, throws from 7-14 yards downfield (check the Green Bay tapes as a guide). His completion percentage on those throws had slipped from 71 percent in 2009 to 45 percent in 2010. Moss didn't help those issues out very much; during Moss's four-week tenure, http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG was 15-of-29 on those throws, for a completion percentage of 51 percent. Moss himself had a catch rate of 52 percent, well below the 61 percent figure he was at a year ago, but better than his 41 percent rate as a Patriots player.

Based on his form in New England and Minnesota, Moss just isn't playing like someone who can dominate at every level. He can still jump over defensive backs and make fantastic catches, but he has only two plays with more than 10 yards after the catch, and his success rate -- the percentage of the time he pushes his team toward a new set of downs -- has fallen from 57 percent in 2009 to 46 percent this year.

So, it looks like Moss is going to be best used as a complementary wideout that stretches defenses downfield, like a rich man's Chris Chambers. (Ouch.) And although the waiver process dictates that Moss doesn't have a choice over where he ends up, we can safely assume that he is going to want to play for a winner, and teams that are totally out of the playoff hunt won't bother to claim him and pay him the more than $3.4 million he's owed.

Let's go through the league by waiver priority (with thanks to AFC East blogger Tim Graham for compiling the list) and use context, scheme and this year's performance to see where Moss might be best suited. We'll give each team a score for fit, with zero representing a terrible situation for Moss and 10 an ideal one.

1. Buffalo: No hope of going to the playoffs and a similar player in the lineup in Lee Evans. Wouldn't spend the cash anyway. Fit: 0/10

2. Carolina: Promising performances from David Gettis and Brandon LaFell would be enough to justify avoiding Moss even if record was good. Fit: 0/10

3. Dallas: Money ain't a thang, but one of the few positions the Cowboys are deep at is wide receiver. Would be solely for PR distraction purposes. Fit: 2/10

4. San Francisco: Michael Crabtree has a better defense-adjusted value over average (DVOA) and catch rate than Moss, and the two are too similar to play across from each other. Fit: 1/10

5. Denver: A dark horse because of Moss' background with Josh McDaniels from their time in New England together, but Brandon Lloyd is second in the league in DYAR while playing the same downfield role Moss did in New England. No room for Moss here. Fit: 3/10

6. Detroit: Significant investments at both wide receiver spots in Calvin Johnson and Nate Burleson. Not a Jim Schwartz guy. Fit: 0/10

7. Minnesota: Moving on ...

8. Cincinnati: Moss, T.O. and Chad Ochocinco would be a legendary news conference trio, but the Bengals aren't about to shell out the $3.4 million Moss is owed to use him as a third wideout. Fit: 1/10

9. Cleveland: The Browns weren't interested in Moss a month ago. They're going nowhere and have a variety of young wide receivers to give reps to. Moss would be their best receiver, though. Fit: 3/10

10. San Diego: Despite the injuries at wide receiver, the Chargers have the best DVOA in the league on "deep" passes (passes thrown 15 or more yards downfield), at 141.8 percent. Moss would fit right into the offense, but they would only need him until Vincent Jackson and Malcom Floyd get back. Fit: 7/10

11. Arizona: He's not starting ahead of Steve Breaston, and the Cardinals don't have a quarterback to get him the ball. Fit: 0/10

12. Jacksonville: Quietly effective combination at wideout with Mike Sims-Walker and Mike Thomas and aversion to spending money make Moss a luxury Jags can't afford. Fit: 1/10

13. St. Louis: Every downfield target the Rams have used has gotten injured; at one point on Sunday, Sam Bradford was 12-of-15 for 58 yards. Moss would give the team an option they just don't have right now, and the Rams are right in the playoff hunt. An ideal place for Moss to land. Fit: 10/10

14. Oakland: Al Davis juggles grudges like you wouldn't believe. Fit: 1/10

15. Washington: While Dan Snyder will always be linked to these sort of nuclear options, Anthony Armstrong has a 12.0 percent DVOA, and Moss isn't the sort of player who goes well with Mike Shanahan. Unlikely. Fit: 4/10

16. Seattle: The Seahawks are reportedly interested in Moss, and it would make some sense: They rank 27th on deep passes, and Moss would be a good counter to the strength of Mike Williams. On the other hand, they rank 26th on all non-deep passes, and they have no left tackle. Moss won't solve their problems Fit: 5/10

17. Chicago: Moss in a Mike Martz offense in 2001 would have been terrifying; how can he make an impact as a deep receiver when Jay Cutler can't find Devin Hester now, though? Fit: 3/10

18. Miami: Another team rumored to be interested already, Miami ranks fourth in DVOA on short passes (fewer than 15 yards past the line of scrimmage) and just 25th on deep throws. Moss would give the Dolphins a deep threat and they have a prominent former Marshall teammate on the roster: Chad Pennington. Fit: 8/10

19. Philadelphia: The Eagles don't mind taking chances, but Moss isn't beating a healthy DeSean Jackson or Jeremy Maclin into the starting lineup. Fit: 2/10

20. Green Bay: The total lack of interest in Marshawn Lynch suggests that the Packers aren't prone to shopping for big-ticket items in midseason. If Donald Driver's injury is serious, they're more likely to give James Jones and Jordy Nelson time. Also: The mooning thing. Fit: 2/10

21. New Orleans: Sean Payton loves his deep threats, but he's already got too many of them to begin with. They do need a cornerback, though, and Moss had an interception on a Hail Mary pass last year … Fit: 3/10

22. Tennessee: The Titans have clearly established a trend of getting bad attitudes out of their locker room; the only reason they would consider Moss would be if Kenny Britt's injury is a season-ender. Fit: 3/10

23. Houston: With the seventh-best DVOA in the league on deep passes, the Texans are in the same boat as the Titans; unless Andre Johnson is suddenly done for the year, they don't need Moss. Fit: 3/10

24. Indianapolis: Hey, it would be fun. The Colts are the best short passing team in the league by DVOA, but are only 14th on deep throws, and they have depth issues at receiver with Austin Collie and Dallas Clark out. He could contribute with his knowledge of the Patriots, at least. Fit: 6/10

25. Kansas City: One of the best fits for Moss. Chambers has been a healthy scratch the past few weeks, and they don't have a great downfield receiver on the roster without him, ranking 22nd in DVOA on deep throws. His presence would help out the running game, but one problem: Matt Cassel. On bombs (25 yards or more downfield) to Moss in 2008, Cassel was just 4-of-22. And that was with a better Moss. Fit: 8/10

26. Tampa Bay: Mike Williams isn't a complete receiver yet, but he's a Moss starter kit, with a number of leaping catches over defenders for big plays. Tampa needs a possession receiver, not Moss. Fit: 3/10

27. New York Giants: What, you're going to bench Hakeem Nicks? Fit: 0/10

28. Baltimore: The Ravens hope that Donte' Stallworth will be the downfield receiver to play alongside their trio of veteran possession receivers, but Moss would be an upgrade on Stallworth. On the other hand, the Ravens already rank ninth in the league on deep throws, so they're doing OK without Moss or Stallworth. Fit: 4/10

29. Atlanta: Roddy White and Michael Jenkins play well off of each other, and the Falcons are sixth in the league on those rare times when they do throw deep. Perfectly content to use Harry Douglas as their home run threat. Fit: 2/10

30. New York Jets: Yes, they could stick it to the Patriots. On the other hand, they already have Santonio Holmes and Braylon Edwards for downfield passes. Signing Moss would just make one of those two unhappy. Fit: 3/10

31. Pittsburgh: After dealing Holmes away for a song? No. The Steelers also rank second in the league on deep passes, so there's no need. Fit: 0/10

32. New England: Moss knows the playbook. He appears to regret his decision to move away from the Patriots. But Bill Belichick isn't exactly fond of backsies, and Deion Branch and Brandon Tate have looked better than Moss since the latter's departure. It's a bad place for both parties. Fit: 3/10

After looking at each team's current situation, the Rams stand out as the best landing point for Moss at this point in time. NFC West blogger Mike Sando agrees. If Moss lasts until the Rams' spot at 13, they should take the risk and give Sam Bradford a downfield weapon.

Princess TamTam, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 16:45 (thirteen years ago) link

Has it been mentioned yet that http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG's oldest daughter went as Moss for halloween this year?

Princess TamTam, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 16:52 (thirteen years ago) link

^#4's

Princess TamTam, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 16:53 (thirteen years ago) link

Also:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmJcUlrkMNg

Princess TamTam, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 16:58 (thirteen years ago) link

thanks v much

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 16:59 (thirteen years ago) link

was just coming by to post one clap

a pun based on a popular ilx meme (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 2 November 2010 17:08 (thirteen years ago) link

http://www.twincities.com/sports/ci_16500542?nclick_check=1

Finally, the caterers are identified.

macaroni rascal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 2 November 2010 21:31 (thirteen years ago) link

Finally, some answers. Thank god!

That is the stench of tyranny (VegemiteGrrrl), Tuesday, 2 November 2010 21:47 (thirteen years ago) link

Randy Moss, for the crime of disrespecting Midwestern hospitality, I sentence you to free agency

Princess TamTam, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 21:48 (thirteen years ago) link

oh no Br'er Childress, please don't throw me in the Belichick Patch

Princess TamTam, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 21:51 (thirteen years ago) link

that behavior is abysmal. idk what the story was before that -- maybe moss was provoked terribly or maybe childress is a terrible coach -- but i think childress was right to waive him after that.

Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 2 November 2010 21:54 (thirteen years ago) link

childress seems like a pinhead, don't get me wrong.

Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 2 November 2010 21:55 (thirteen years ago) link

To be fair, there is no way I would eat that food.

macaroni rascal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 2 November 2010 22:04 (thirteen years ago) link

http://oi51.tinypic.com/rkyp7a.jpg

am0n, Tuesday, 2 November 2010 22:05 (thirteen years ago) link

ha!

Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 2 November 2010 22:05 (thirteen years ago) link

To be fair his dog does have expensive taste. Randy was just being real

That is the stench of tyranny (VegemiteGrrrl), Tuesday, 2 November 2010 22:14 (thirteen years ago) link

okay, if every mouthy person got fired because they said some bullshit about catered food, no one would ever work with mouthy people

wait that sounds like heaven tho, I may be undermining my argument which is FUCK YOU, CHIDLRESS

lol tea partiers and their fat fingers (HI DERE), Tuesday, 2 November 2010 22:57 (thirteen years ago) link

Buncha crybabies

That is the stench of tyranny (VegemiteGrrrl), Tuesday, 2 November 2010 23:36 (thirteen years ago) link

lol!

Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 2 November 2010 23:50 (thirteen years ago) link

i can't stop laughing at that yelp review tho ;_; poor restaurant is being voted down on yelp by jokesters!

THIS GUY (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 01:50 (thirteen years ago) link

dude it's toochi benooch

don't sweat it

BIG MUFFIN (gbx), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 01:59 (thirteen years ago) link

I wonder if Matt Birk is the mayor of Tinucci's Restaurant and Catering on Foursquare.

macaroni rascal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 03:15 (thirteen years ago) link

lol

That is the stench of tyranny (VegemiteGrrrl), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 03:53 (thirteen years ago) link

Q: How do you compensate for Moss' loss on the field?
Childress: We've got Hank Baskett, who has been inactive. We'll elevate his turns and get him in the mix. He'll help us there and he'll help us on special teams.

You can't make this up!

Princess TamTam, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 18:31 (thirteen years ago) link

Someone should start a twitter account called @shitmycoachsays

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 18:34 (thirteen years ago) link

"He'll help us there and he'll help us on special teams."

Just dont expect him to recover onside kicks for you. But then again, i dont think the Vikings will find themselves in that situation often.

So it seems for peace we can thank the bomb (Bill Magill), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 19:03 (thirteen years ago) link

I'm sure this drama will all be explained on a very special episode of Kendra.

macaroni rascal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 19:14 (thirteen years ago) link

Hank Baskett. Maybe they can bring back Matt Jones from retirement.

http://tinyurl.com/koalalala (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 19:25 (thirteen years ago) link

Hell, might as well go for Ashley Lelie while they're at it.

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 19:38 (thirteen years ago) link

HOT DAMN HE'S A TENNESSEE TITAN!

I <3 this!

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 20:17 (thirteen years ago) link

!!!

omar little, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 20:18 (thirteen years ago) link

very weird

J0rdan S., Wednesday, 3 November 2010 20:18 (thirteen years ago) link

it is weird but I am glad he landed on a team that is neither bad nor hated.

powerpoint coordination specialist, chicago bears (daria-g), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 20:19 (thirteen years ago) link

I definitely like that move. Strong coach, good players around him.

macaroni rascal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 20:20 (thirteen years ago) link

RANDY GOIN HOME

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 20:22 (thirteen years ago) link

maybe prognosis on britt injury not so good.

not so surprised that mia passed on him but thought the arguments in favour of stl were persuasive.

will randy report? he only wants to go somewhere he can get a ring. tits in the super bowl? maybe.

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 20:25 (thirteen years ago) link

Reportedly, Tennessee is where he was hoping to go.

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 20:27 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah, britt is on my fantasy team so this is terrible for society as a whole and must be stopped

browns zero loss (brownie), Wednesday, 3 November 2010 20:27 (thirteen years ago) link

Were he and Collins in Oakland at the same time? I can't remember. If so, there's already a connection.

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 20:27 (thirteen years ago) link


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