vadge horror stories

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A little splash on wifey's gash
when she drives commando, the car won't crash
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:57 (nineteen years ago) link

just hose out that pita, rita

xpost

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:58 (nineteen years ago) link

whaaaaaat?

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:58 (nineteen years ago) link

'Well, looks like I'm never having tzatziki sauce ever again'

Taramasalata, anyone?

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:59 (nineteen years ago) link

Who knew that a vagina that smells like antiseptic was so integral to car safety!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:59 (nineteen years ago) link

"Remember kids, buckle up... AND DOUCHE!"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Thanks, Officer Overly Friendly!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:01 (nineteen years ago) link

A thoroughly neutralised vaginal passage is the key to success in every sphere of life, I find.

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:02 (nineteen years ago) link

It's definitely U&K if you wanna get with these SPHERES OF LIFE, right here! ayy oh!

― diceman (Oops), Friday, 18 June 2004 22:05 (nineteen years ago) link

cunnilingus
may be wanting
if your "thing" is
something daunting

LYSOL DOUCHE

― antexit (antexit), Friday, 18 June 2004 23:36 (nineteen years ago) link

The "germs" Lysol allegedly would kill were sperm. "Protect your married happiness" = prevent a pregnancy.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Now we've gotta start over!

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:11 (nineteen years ago) link

If you want
To keep your fun,
Rid your oven
Of tha bun!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:40 (nineteen years ago) link

pH balance
"right" today?
wash those buggers
clean away!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:45 (nineteen years ago) link

Anytime
You need to throw a
Curve ball
At spermatozoa:
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh dear oh dear, what's going on?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Stand-up guy,
terrific feller -
sense of timing
less than stellar?
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Rhythm method
out of synch?
wash those peskies
down the sink!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:52 (nineteen years ago) link

me and my ex-catholic posse will probably be harping at this particular angle for DAYS

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:53 (nineteen years ago) link

So you are all recording these, right?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:53 (nineteen years ago) link

No lovin'
from Jim?
Nourish
your quim!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Hello to last week me. Fair enough.

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:55 (nineteen years ago) link

*hysterics*

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:57 (nineteen years ago) link

ok for those who object to "perfect" rhymes:

Guesswork's good
for Roman types.
Who here needs
these Handi-Wipes?
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:58 (nineteen years ago) link

OMG ALBUM WAITING TO HAPPEN: "Ned Raggett Reads Slogans For Lysol Douche Written In The Burma-Shave Style"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 03:59 (nineteen years ago) link

Husband'd rather
have a beer?
Get some Lysol
Up yer labia
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:01 (nineteen years ago) link

28 days
Through the thrush;
Time to clean
That uterus!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:05 (nineteen years ago) link

After Mass,
things got real hot -
said he'd pull out,
then forgot?
LYSOL DOUCHE

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Men all think
you're just a strumpet?
Sterilise
thy facking crumpet
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Halt that odour
sweet and true
emanating
from your smoo
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:10 (nineteen years ago) link

"smoo"!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:11 (nineteen years ago) link

http://img71.photobucket.com/albums/v216/sexymollusk/red_vadge_copy.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Lovin' at an
all-time low?
Whack some up
your camel toe
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:16 (nineteen years ago) link

couldn't say no
to sailor boy?
lather up
and smiles ahoy!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:21 (nineteen years ago) link

hide your shame
from prying eyes--
stop their stares
and sterilize!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:23 (nineteen years ago) link

works on counters
works on grout
works to flush
the fetus out
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:23 (nineteen years ago) link

OMG ALBUM WAITING TO HAPPEN: "Ned Raggett Reads Slogans For Lysol Douche Written In The Burma-Shave Style"

This COULD occur...

Dan and I, it should be noted, are currently creating the world's worst Lysol Douche TV commercials in chat.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:24 (nineteen years ago) link

I am very ashamed of myself.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:24 (nineteen years ago) link

(oh wait Ned, you mean
that somewhere there are the BEST
Lysol Douche ads. EW)

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Husband always
cleaning his teeth?
Prolly 'cause of
your stinking queefs
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:25 (nineteen years ago) link

bubble bubble
toil and trouble?
clean that coochie
on the double!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Got a zygote
In your midst?
Give you bearded clam
A rinse!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:30 (nineteen years ago) link

someone extra
on the ride?
subtract that pest
with pesticide
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:31 (nineteen years ago) link

LYSOL DOUCHE
to rid the whelp--
three lips? clit hole?
well, we can't help.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:34 (nineteen years ago) link

[okay, I cannot in good conscience post the one I just came up with but it used the word "plunger"]

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:34 (nineteen years ago) link

if we had that thing
called "good conscience" we would not
have come near this thread

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:36 (nineteen years ago) link

if you're good
just drive on by--
but naughty girls
had better try
LYSOL DOUCHE*

*In this "humor" piece, the author alleges that he was trying to parody the Mittelamerican fear of sexual activity so prevalent in the earlier part of the century, a fear which continues to come through in popular culture and attitudes to this very day. However, it is clear that he himself is some kind of anti-sex freak with a standard run of the mill virgin/whore-complex, and that his attempts at joking merely serve as camouflage to try to steer people away from the psychic turmoil raging beneath his surface...much, indeed, as LYSOL DOUCHE rages beneath the surface, its scrubbing bubbles doing the work so you don't have to.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 04:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Cleanse your crease of sperm and grease
Swishy-swoosh! With LYSOL DOUCHE!

Vadge horror story: my friend went to Brazil and whilst she was there she had her labia trimmed and her snatch tightened, but it got infected. Eeeowrgh.

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Saturday, 19 June 2004 08:10 (nineteen years ago) link

Badger Kitten, in its own small way that is the saddest story ever.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Saturday, 19 June 2004 12:03 (nineteen years ago) link

'small' is not the word
for a story that gives me
THE PH34R REALLY BAD

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 19 June 2004 12:06 (nineteen years ago) link

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