Jesus Fucking Christ: evangelical bigwig opposed gay marriage "because it takes the dirt and danger out of clandestine sex with rent-a-men"

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Pastor Ted did preach the holy glory of American corporate supremacy, so it's obvious Satan needs to bring Wal-Mart down with him.

Hi,

I am one of those people who is no longer shopping at Wal-Mart, but as I talk with other Christians I often get the response that they're going to continue shopping at Wal-Mart because probably all of the other stores we would shop at in place of Wal-Mart are also doing sinful things and/or supporting gay and lesbian groups etc. What is your response to this? Do you know if Kmart supports gays and lesbians? Do you have a list of businesses which Christians can support in good conscience?

I believe if I can address this issue I could be more effective in encouraging people not to support Wal-Mart.

Thank you,

Eileen K.

Hi Eileen,

Why Wal-Mart? It's very true that many other stores have also been bullied into supporting gay issues and have engaged in other evils, but Wal-Mart is special. It is the single largest private employer in America with 1.3 million employees. It is the largest retailer and the largest privately-owned retailer in America , with 127 million weekly customers. It boasts a $300 BILLION a year business . Wal-Mart is the biggest in everything! And it started out under Sam Walton as a godly, family-friendly operation. If we can fight and win at Wal-Mart, we'll be sending a strong message to other companies that they too need the support of American families to succeed and they won't get it by stomping on our values and encouraging and promoting those things that God abhors.

I hope this helps!

God bless your efforts for His kingdom.

Brenda/OSA

Mike Dixn (Mike Dixon), Sunday, 5 November 2006 20:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Some odd details:

But in a news conference after the service, the head of the oversight board, Pastor Larry Stockstill of Baton Rouge, La., told reporters that Haggard denied engaging in homosexual acts or being gay. Stockstill said Haggard's admission that he received a massage from a gay man was enough grounds for the board to remove him.

At the same time, Stockstill said the board found discrepancies in Haggard's account. He did not go into detail.

"(Haggard) is not in touch with truth and reality, and he readily admitted that," Stockstill said.

A separate pastoral board, still being formed, will work further with Haggard to explore his sexual issues in more depth, Stockstill said.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 5 November 2006 23:25 (seventeen years ago) link

So much for my "gay messiah" theory.

researching ur life (grady), Sunday, 5 November 2006 23:36 (seventeen years ago) link

A separate pastoral board, still being formed, will work further with Haggard to explore his sexual issues in more depth

well, off to rehab w/ mark foley for him, then

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Sunday, 5 November 2006 23:37 (seventeen years ago) link

The kookiest thing about Save Wal-Mart is that it genders Wal-Mart as female:

After being lambasted for years by the anti-family, pro-abortion, pro-homosexual, radical environmental left, Wal-Mart has finally succumbed to this constant harassment and blackmail. She has now chosen a policy of appeasement to assuage all of the false accusations leveled against her in hopes that the devil will somehow stop being so mean.

Party Time Country Female (pullapartgirl), Monday, 6 November 2006 00:21 (seventeen years ago) link

I just get this image of H. Lee Scott with a smug look on his face, condescendingly patting a quarterly earnings graph and saying, "She's a good little largest retailer and second largest corporation in the world, isn't she?"

Party Time Country Female (pullapartgirl), Monday, 6 November 2006 00:25 (seventeen years ago) link

"(Haggard) is not in touch with truth and reality, and he readily admitted that,"

"is it backwards day?"

"yes. no. i mean, yes. i mean--"

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Monday, 6 November 2006 04:17 (seventeen years ago) link

To me, it seems like an even bigger deal than people are making it out to be, after all, this guy is the President's top spiritual advisor. I mean, it's obvious that Bush doesn't really believe in the tennants of Christianity and is just using it for political gain. But for the people who belive that George Bush is a God-fearing man and is sincere about his faith, this has got to be a major blow to that way of thinking. I mean, you can't just brush this off, Pastor Ted was living a total lie and he admitted it, and Bush met with him once a week and was 100% in agreement with him, like he said the only thing they dissagreed about was Ford vs. Chevy. So, what is Bush's position now? I mean if he's a Christian and he's at all sincere about his faith, when his top spiritual advisor goes down in flames so dramatically, he's got to be devistated, right? He was either lying in the first place about his relationship with Pastor Ted to get the evangelical vote, or he is lying now by distancing himself from it. He can't win, and they have to draw a line between religion and politics to even discuss it, and that is a big crack in the veneer of this whole republican theocracy movement.

BrianB (BrianB), Monday, 6 November 2006 17:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Haggard's admission that he received a massage from a gay man was enough grounds for the board to remove him.

Phrase it like that, and you'd have to remove half of anyone who's ever been to a day spa.

nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 6 November 2006 17:40 (seventeen years ago) link

My cousins used to sing "Devil Inside" by INXS as "Jesus inside, Jesus inside, every single one of us" etc etc.

Additional weirdness: surely acknowledging the sin, evil, and temptation in the heart of man is appropriately religious already? INXS are good Calvinists, no reason to edit their work.

nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 6 November 2006 17:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Seriously, where the fuck is the press on this? Yes, it's on the front page of every newspaper, but why are they not HAMMERING it home that this guy was IN THE WHITE HOUSE REGULARLY!! This guy met with Tony Blair for fuck's sake!

Tiki Theater Xymposium (Bent Over at the Arclight), Monday, 6 November 2006 17:46 (seventeen years ago) link

"Regular Bush Contact Found to Have Shameful Secret; Count Now Reaches 23,341; Base Blames Liberal Media; Rove Takes Credit."

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 6 November 2006 17:50 (seventeen years ago) link

cuz the GOP immediately tried to head off that angle, and fairly successfully from all appearances (see Falwell's denials, Snow's assertions that he "only participated in occasional conference calls", denials that the President knows him a la Abramoff and other unsavory characters etc.)

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 November 2006 17:51 (seventeen years ago) link

surely acknowledging the sin, evil, and temptation in the heart of man is appropriately religious already?

yeah, but remember how these guys work; acknowledging something they don't approve of without condemning it is identical to zealously advocating it, which is why talking about gay people or having a gay character on your tv show is akin to promoting the radical homosexual agenda.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 6 November 2006 17:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Good brimstone Calvinists don't have to condemn the wickedness of mankind! It goes without saying! Though obviously they would want to sing "Devil Inside" in more of a solemn, repentful voice.

nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:06 (seventeen years ago) link

Now I want Haggard to go to the same rehab place as Foley and then for them to fall in love.

Maria :D (Maria D.), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:08 (seventeen years ago) link

and then get jobs at Walmart as greeters

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:18 (seventeen years ago) link

Then I want both of them to appear in a movie together with Jim Carrey. They both kind of remind me of him.

Maria :D (Maria D.), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Holy shit, you guys gotta read this one: Mark Driscoll explains that Pastorin' ain't easy, complains how bitchez are on his jock alla time, and advises that if your wife has gone fugly and won't do A2M anymore, you apparently have license to hit up the craigslist for some rough trade.

Oh yeah, and that you should hire "heterosexual male assistants" to defend your priestly body from temptations of the world.

and all this is best described by Jon Swift, in an essay entitled "Ted Haggard Shows the Virtue of Hypocrisy"

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Brian and Tiki- You're slightly off-the-mark.

He sat in on a conference call w/ Bush and other Evangelical leaders every Monday. He was in no way Bush's "top spiritual advisor," and despite the calls and meeting him in person, hardly influential at all in the Whilte House's policy making. He was more or less used in turning out the Evangelical vote. Its not like he was hooking Cheney up with meth and giving Bush BJ's.

I saw Jesus Camp this weekend and CAN NOT BELIEVE it isn't getting name-checked in every story about Haggard seing as though he's seen preaching a sermon on homosexuality in it.

researching ur life (grady), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Its not like he was hooking Cheney up with meth and giving Bush BJ's.

not on a weekly basis, at least

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:38 (seventeen years ago) link

And KF-

That Driscoll entry gets pretty nuts in places, but for a man of the cloth to impose ragulations on himself such as "dont be alone with women" isn't any different from rules about High School teachers not giving rides home to students.

Not hysteria so much as being smart about the position you're in, and the potential for something fucked up to go down.

researching ur life (grady), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:44 (seventeen years ago) link

for a man of the cloth to impose ragulations on himself such as "dont be alone with women" isn't any different from rules about High School teachers not giving rides home to students.

oh i know & understand that bit. It's the same doctrine that Billy Graham follows. There's just something about the guy specifying "male heterosexual assistants" that makes him sound like he need to be tailed by two strong, young bucks at all times.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:47 (seventeen years ago) link

omg that Driscoll thin is teh awesome

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:49 (seventeen years ago) link

for a man of the cloth to impose ragulations on himself such as "dont be alone with women" isn't any different from rules about High School teachers not giving rides home to students

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. High school teachers aren't supposed to give rides home to students mostly because they have no good reason to fraternize with students outside of their work. (Also because the students are minors over whom teachers have extensive power.) For a man of the cloth to impose regulations on himself such as "don't be alone with women" would be more like ... a male teacher who tutors boys after school, but refuses to meet with a girl during study hall to discuss her grade.

nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:50 (seventeen years ago) link

XPOST:

agreed.

fwiw, my father has been a (much more moderate) Evangelical minister for 25 years and has never been alone with a woman who wasn't his secretary or someone in his family. I've never asked him, but I think he imposed that after the Swaggert thing.

(Please spare me the jokes about if my mom puts out.)

Nabisco, i suppose "alone" would be defined as "no one else is present, on the premesis, or witnessing our engaging with eachother." My father meets in private with female members of his congregation to discuss things, but someone always knows about it and sees the visitor come and go. Its not OMG MUST CONTROLL PENIS so much as realizing that you're somewhat vulnerable in a position like that.

researching ur life (grady), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:55 (seventeen years ago) link

The thing that most disturbs me about the driscoll thing is his (implied?) assertion that it was Ted's wife wot caused him to seek the company of meth-heads and strong, middle-aged, body-building male whores. It's all her fault for turning him into a crank-snorting sodomite.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 6 November 2006 18:56 (seventeen years ago) link

I used to be conscripted to accompany my parents to things so that they wouldn't be alone with colleagues of the op sex outside of work hours -- for instance, the office on a Saturday -- and neither of them are even clergy, just mildly obsessed with the "appearance of impropriety". It was mostly boring.

Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 6 November 2006 19:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, Grady, but like you say, that's an issue of deniability and ass-covering -- protecting yourself against accusation and slander -- rather than an issue of avoiding temptation. It's avoiding the appearance of impropriety, not avoiding impropriety itself. And that's not what this guy's talking about: his take suggests that you shouldn't allow yourself to have any sort of equitable relationship with a woman, because your wife's probably a porker and you're totally gonna hump your secretary.

nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 6 November 2006 19:04 (seventeen years ago) link

i think the fact that bush had regular talks with a rabid YOUNG EARTH CREATIONIST is a lot more disturbing than any of this shit

(just a general comment, not following any discussion here)

a.b. (alanbanana), Monday, 6 November 2006 19:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Ha, "impropriety" xpost.

P.S. You know what else helps with avoiding that kind of impropriety is if women can't leave the house at all unless accompanied by a male relative! Also if they wear veils and loose-fitting robes you won't be tempted by noticing that they look better than your old fat wife, who's really "let herself go."

nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 6 November 2006 19:06 (seventeen years ago) link

he also met with Michael Crichton for updates about climate science

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 6 November 2006 19:08 (seventeen years ago) link

As we know, middle aged men NEVER let themselves go, no sir.

Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Monday, 6 November 2006 19:08 (seventeen years ago) link

You mean other women are allowed to LEAVE the HOUSE? And here I've been posting from the balcony behind a carved wooden screen this whole time....

Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 6 November 2006 19:13 (seventeen years ago) link

My favorite favorite thing about every time one of these super religious dudes fall apart is that try as they must of tried (and I am sure that no one tried harder than Haggard) that their bodies' wants/needs are so much more powerful than their God and their faith. It's pretty awesome that the human drive for pleasure is stronger than the power of any deity.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 6 November 2006 19:21 (seventeen years ago) link

If Haggard's unblinking congregation could sit and listen to such a liturgical Liberace week after week and not realize they were in the presence of someone who makes Barry Manilow in a full-length mink look butch, they really need to recalibrate their ability to detect prescription-strength doses of flamboyance.

- Betty Bowers, "America's Best Christian."

http://www.bettybowers.com/nl_nov2006.html


Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 6 November 2006 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

haha. Yeah, Stephanie Miller was reading from that Bowers piece on the air today.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 6 November 2006 20:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm not sure the hypocrisy charge is really the important part here: people in Haggard's position actually tend to stick to their professed principles, admit wrongdoing, and try to make amends. It's not even essential that this sort of thing brings shame or suspicion upon hardcore evangelicals, either, though that's usually how it plays for most people. I think the important part is for those Americans who are neither evangelicals nor happy secular leftists to see a choice between two possibilities for the country. In one, where we accept that homosexuality is a part of a person's identity that's harmless and entirely their business, a man who's interested in having sex with other men will presumably be free to work that out on his own, in a way that's honest and fair to everyone involved. In the other, where we insist that homosexuality is a problem and insane disproportionate energy into discouraging it, it becomes very, very likely that people will wind up doing what Haggard did -- secret lives of prostitution and infidelity that harm everyone around them. And I'd like to think (or at least hope) that if you could get the average middle-of-the-road American to see things in those terms, they'd opt for the first one -- because no matter how uncomfortable they may be with homosexuality, I think most of them would prefer a world of people innocently minding their own business than a world of this.

(The problem with things like "this" and Foley, though, is that it just cements the link in people's mind between homosexuality and secret sordid activity like drug use, soliciting minors, and prostitution; it doesn't seem to register that suppression of homosexuality might be a major part of how people end up in those situations.)

nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 6 November 2006 20:17 (seventeen years ago) link

(also misses out the sidebar that drugs are k-awesome)

The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 November 2006 20:18 (seventeen years ago) link

Love the rewriting of history already at http://newlifechurch.org/ --

NEW LIFE NOW
1. A New Page in the New Life Story
2. Wonderland
3. Thou Shalt Laugh Comedy Night

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 6 November 2006 20:19 (seventeen years ago) link

(at least, drugs are k-awesome until your teeth fall out; then they begin to lose their pall)

The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 November 2006 20:21 (seventeen years ago) link

it just cements the link in people's mind between homosexuality and secret sordid activity

yeah, that's the bit that other folks have talked about, and i might have even mentioned. That the hilariosly negative view these folks have about gay people, w/ all the pathological stereotypes & whatnot, is that the only gay people they ever come in contact with are those w/in their own midst who have had to repress so much for so long. Eventually they crack, and thus are evidence in some people's minds that gayes = teh evil.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 6 November 2006 20:22 (seventeen years ago) link

(Also Carson from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy)

The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 November 2006 20:23 (seventeen years ago) link

roffle

The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 November 2006 20:27 (seventeen years ago) link

hahahah. such shiney teeth, such vacant expressions.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 6 November 2006 20:28 (seventeen years ago) link

The thing that most disturbs me about the driscoll thing is his (implied?) assertion that it was Ted's wife wot caused him to seek the company of meth-heads and strong, middle-aged, body-building male whores. It's all her fault for turning him into a crank-snorting sodomite.

Agreed.

i think the fact that bush had regular talks with a rabid YOUNG EARTH CREATIONIST is a lot more disturbing than any of this shit

Agreed!

Yeah, Grady, but like you say, that's an issue of deniability and ass-covering -- protecting yourself against accusation and slander -- rather than an issue of avoiding temptation.

You're half right. The other half is the fact that there are people who are drawn to those in a leadership position, be it a priest, minister, CEO, president, whatevs. People who actually wish to engage in some kind of behavior innapropriate of someone in that kind of role, NOT just make false accuations that are impossible to disprove. And when you're in that position, it can catch you off guard and you can fuck up. Again, we agree on Driscoll going way too far in this direction and placing blame on spouses who "let themselves go." My initial point was just that being aware of the potential for both slander AND tempation (not the kind of OMG I HOPE THAT HOT LADY IN THE 2nd PEW STOPS IN TODAY temptation, more the kind that can catch someone off-guard) is very real. I was just getting a little bothered that the sentiment was "hahaha xians r afraid sexx lolz."

If Haggard's unblinking congregation could sit and listen to such a liturgical Liberace week after week and not realize they were in the presence of someone who makes Barry Manilow in a full-length mink look butch, they really need to recalibrate their ability to detect prescription-strength doses of flamboyance.

OTM x100,000,000,000. In Jesus Camp he speaks of a life in Christ being FABULOUS. I swear I'm not making that up.

it just cements the link in people's mind between homosexuality and secret sordid activity

This is why i was unrealistically hoping Haggard could be a key person/symbol in changing the shape of homosexuality and religion in this country. Sadly, it will only reinforce cuurent views.

researching ur life (grady), Monday, 6 November 2006 21:04 (seventeen years ago) link

my first "Agreed." was with KF, not Driscoll.

researching ur life (grady), Monday, 6 November 2006 21:05 (seventeen years ago) link

This is why i was unrealistically hoping Haggard could be a key person/symbol in changing the shape of homosexuality and religion in this country.

Well, the really unfortunate thing is that this country is full of well-adjusted gay couples who are Christians, and yet the evangelicals' rhetoric ensures that they'll never come into contact with them. (This would seem to be by design, actually: I assume the fear is that sharing anything with gay people -- trying to acknowledge common values at all -- will lead to GOD FORBID noticing that they tend to be decent human beings like anyone else.) The only way you can get that kind of example you're talking about would be ... well, the fairly unrealistic scenario of an unmarried clergyman being discovered as having a secret committed gay partner and raising adopted children in blissful good-citizen happiness?

nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 6 November 2006 21:20 (seventeen years ago) link

yet the evangelicals' rhetoric ensures that they'll never come into contact with them.

ding ding ding.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 6 November 2006 21:21 (seventeen years ago) link


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