Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

At this point I would just say to her "you are a walking science experiment to me. Do you take a multivitamin? Is this a diet or just OCD behavior? Tell me about your life" and hope that the attention rattles her enough to quit eating that shit at work.

I thought about having some popcorn the other night, thought about this thread and had some ice cream instead.

ha ha!

ain't gonna lie, went to microwave my food at lunch and saw a chick with just a bag of popcorn (which is forbidden to be popped on this floor) and I thought maybe yer employee got fired and got a job here....

i am feeling much better from earlier. management had my back on something when I needed them to and it really turned the day around

You guys she had soup for lunch!

popcorn soup?

that's like methadone for popcorn eaters

was it corn chowder

Not sure what kind it was, wasn't close enough to determine that. It did not have any distinct smell, that I can tell you.

what do popcorn farts smell like btw

orville redenbackers asshole.

am i at work, or in a playground ?

WHO THE FCK KNOWS ANYMORE!

jon I recommend u get an mp3 of the song "popcorn" and play it on repeat, til she gets it.

PS this may never happen so be prepared to go mental.

stick with chiptunes. there is an infinite variety of popcorn chiptunes for some reason.

Guys she ate J1mmy J0hn's yesterday. And zero bags of popcorn that I saw. Breakthrough? Temporary diversion? Stay tuned.

Either stop sucking your fucking teeth and making stupid clicky noises, or visit the fucking dentist, for fuck's fucking sake.

― James Mitchell, Monday, 11 October 2010 09:11 (1 week ago) Bookmark

Still doing this. Every 30 seconds for eight hours a day. Cunt.

get a power washer and blast her mouth.

hey boss how the fuck am i supposed to calculate how much coffee we waste?

Hahaha, and she's back. Third bag so far today!

she's got a popcorn fetish.

why do some people insist on having extremely personal conversations at their desk, and not the courtesy phones in private areas...and while they're doing so, not even make an attempt to do so quietly or soften their voice.

it's distracting, it's uncomfortable, it's rude, and yet my boss, when I mentioned it to him, basically said that if it were him he'd just ignore it and that he didn't think it was a big deal.

well, when I hear someone either sobbing, yelling, or telling someone to "go to Hell and burn", it tends to draw my attention away from what I'm doing!

document them, end to end and word by word, and forward copies to both your boss and the offenders

at least it wasnt a conversation about butt sex

I didn't transcribe them as that would bring on claims of eavesdropping, but I definitely documented and complained to my manager. Other people on the team have complained to me but just didn't feel like doing anything about it.

My manager basically said he didn't think it was a big deal, and that he could bring it up with her, but then she'd figure out who reported it, insinuating that he'd be willingly setting me up for retaliation.

I need a manager who doesn't have such a myopic view on things.

you need to get everyone else who complained on board and documented with going to the manager, and if he still won't do anything go to his manager

document them, end to end and word by word, and forward copies to both your boss and the offenders

I can understand how you wouldn't want to have to overhear such a conversation, but honestly this would pretty much be a dick move to pull on someone that is obviously already going through a painful situation (at least, I'd assume so given that language).

my old co-worker used to do that all the time. Except scream at his mother in Polish. Not cool. It was funny once.

I envision San Te's office environment like those old monster.com commercials that depicted the entire office staff other than the job seeker as poo flinging monkeys.

Lol it's not quite that bad. Not QUITE

I'm surprised your boss isnt concerned she's having personal calls on work time?

Heh there's that, too. She's on the phone with personal calls for hours a day

Uuugh dude if you're so sick you can't string a sentence together because you are violently coughing up phlegm into a tissue and dramatically puffing like you're dying, why the fuck are you at work. You work on phones ffs.

Related to that, you've been coughing non-stop for the past three weeks. Perhaps its time to go see a doctor, no?

is this popcorn girl? she's coughing up kernels.

popcorn lung!!

No no, a different lady. Popcorn girl is out of the office this week.

Would it be possible to shut your mouth while you chomp on potato chips?

people you work with like snacks.

i swear i am the only person in this office who knows how to unjam the copier. WTF PEOPLE THE DIRECTIONS ARE ON THE SCREEN IN FRONT OF YOU!

Unjamming in my job, too. Perhaps you have particularly lithe and nimble fingers, like me.

WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM

i should never hear the slapping of skin while you are performing 'the shake'

I hate hate hate this American work ethic that drives people to believe that, even if they are severely contagious and coughing up a lung, they can NEVER NEVER NEVER miss a day of work. It sounds like a damned hospital ward in here this afternoon.

In another episode of Eating Habits of ILX's Coworkers, I can still smell the extremely garlicky thing my officemate ate 5+ hours ago.

(Who eats garlic at 10am anyway? Oh right, a white guy who eats 3 meals during office hours every day, two of which are always large tupperware tubs of white rice and curry. I like both garlic and curry, but other people's garlic and curry get a bit oppressive in an unventilated office. Though really I mainly mind him making it so spicy he sniffs constantly for the next hour after eating it, but that's not really his problem, more that I am a socially incompetent aspie who likes to live in a bubble of pretending nobody else exists - and I do realise I have my own annoying habits, and that as a fattey who still eats crisps and Coke my own diet is pretty disgusting too, etc)

This thread had made me hyper-aware of my eating sounds.

WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM

― hælvæticæ (diamonddave85), Tuesday, October 26, 2010 12:29 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i should never hear the slapping of skin while you are performing 'the shake'

― hælvæticæ (diamonddave85), Tuesday, October 26, 2010 12:33 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

This person is clearly polishing the pickle.

^^ two diff people at diff times

The bathroom habits of my coworkers could merit their own thread, but in summary:

- Talking on the phone while pooping.
- Talking on the phone about pooping while pooping.
- Praying.
- Praying about pooping.
- Singing hymns.
- Singing popular songs.
- Disposing of food wrappers in the sanitary napkin disposal bins, leading me to suspect people are eating in there.
- The multiple coworkers who grab piles of paper towels from the dispenser on the way in and use them to guard their hands against touching anything, and then leave the excess paper towels in a pile on the toilet paper holder until someone comes in and knocks the towels on the floor, causing the floor to be littered with paper towels by the end of the day.
- Using toilet paper to make little privacy curtains over the small cracks between the stall doors and the stall door frames.
- The lady who washes the outside of the bags of chips she buys from the vending machine.
- This same lady who takes piles of paper towels into the bathroom with her and although I (thankfully) cannot see her, I subsequently hear her scrubbing those dry paper towels all over... something... and I don't even want to speculate any further.
- Forgetting to or just choosing not to flush.
- Peeing on the seat.
- Bleeding on the seat.
- Pooping on the seat.
- Peeing on the floor.
- Bleeding on the floor.
- Pooping on the floor.
- Someone or someones or maybe a lack of cleaning or a defect in the bathroom itself, but one of these things causes the entire bathroom to smell like cross between a dumpster behind a fishmarket in the summer and that guy on the train who has years ago given up gainful employment to dedicate his full time to soiling his own pants.
- Tooth brushing in there, despite all of the above.

hey people who are shredding documents, please pick up the little shreds that fall out of the bucket and onto the floor. I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING MAID!