OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (8401 of them)

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (ten years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (ten years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (ten years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (ten years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (ten years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (ten years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (ten years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (ten years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (ten years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (ten years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (ten years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (ten years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (ten years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (ten years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (ten years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (ten years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (ten years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (ten years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (ten years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (ten years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (ten years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (ten years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (ten years ago) Permalink

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

-- lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://downloadsimpsons.com/files/malibu_stacy.jpg

"Thinking too much gives you wrinkles"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:31 (ten years ago) Permalink

haaaaaa

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

come on everyone, geir gives himself away in the final parentheses.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

ha. not sure i care as such! a while back i had a job gathering information on universities, i found it kind of funny that you can go anywhere in the country and every student newspapers seems to be written by the same person. it sort of interests me to know who, if anyone, they are imitating. if my current job was more interesting this issue would, i think, seem rather less pressing.

xp

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

i love the line about nirvana: nirvana's main block to future gold albums was kurt cobain's inability to accept the "popular culture lifestyle he was made to live", nothing about JUNKIE SUICIDE.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:37 (ten years ago) Permalink

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:39 (ten years ago) Permalink

keep in mind this kid was like 8 when Kurdt committed suicide and has probably been bombarded by Nirvana mythologies since he started showing an interest in altrock

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:40 (ten years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Heh, this is a great idea. Yeah gotta say though, opinion pieces like this are ten a penny in this strange little further education world

DJ Mencap, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:41 (ten years ago) Permalink

there is thou a difference between "analyse and discuss" and "attack and dismiss"

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:42 (ten years ago) Permalink

Maybe in the real world, but on ILM?

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:43 (ten years ago) Permalink

I'm still not sure when Cobain was adopted as an indie icon, tbh. When I was a teen, Melody Maker was still all "lol miserable junkie loved by them Kerrang oafs" about him.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:44 (ten years ago) Permalink

I disagree that student writing is exempt from criticism. One's worldview may not be fully formed by the age of 20, but a journalistic voice should be.

Plus, this is just too awful to leave it alone. A phrase like "There has been a movement against corporate music, labels and magazines, which is thankfully disappearing, probably ever since Bob Dylan's move from acoustic to electric" is a jaw-dropper in any context.

Erroneous Botch, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:46 (ten years ago) Permalink

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

This, totally; what kind of culture are we propagating where these attitudes develop? Why does this guy think this? He's in a band, he's at university, he'd self-identify as 'loving music', he obviously has journalistic ambitions at the same time, and he writes this? Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:46 (ten years ago) Permalink

young aspiring music journalists should go to ILM training camp

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:48 (ten years ago) Permalink

more liek:

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B0001Y9YAW.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:52 (ten years ago) Permalink

Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

most of them are, most of them always have, some of them get better as they, you know, grow up - i'm not denying that it's awful writing but i guess the question for me is, do you not feel your life ebbing away from you with every second you spend contemplating this rote and in no way unusual piece of student hackery? do you have this much spare time?? at this point i'mma take my own advice and exit thread stage left.

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:53 (ten years ago) Permalink

Our dominant myths about Art are still Romantic ones: the Artwork is a self-sufficient object, expressing universal truths and the personality of the artist, and has to be grounded in sincere, authentic feelings. Those ideas are still so fundamental (amongst people who think about aesthetics) that most critics have to unlearn them or react against them before they can think about other ways of apprehending music/literature/TV comedy. This isn't exactly a mystery, it's been going on for 200 years.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:54 (ten years ago) Permalink

(b/c you know, if dude ever actually finds this thread, he's just gonna go HURRAH 100-POST THREAD TALKING ABOUT MEEEEE, I HAVE SUCCEEDED)

(ok that's it)

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:54 (ten years ago) Permalink

in a weird way though i almost have to hear this album now so job done i guess?

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 12 October 2017 20:59 (two months ago) Permalink

“Bodies” begins with a So-Cal intro

It says so much.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:06 (two months ago) Permalink

progressive rock clot

dinnerboat, Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:22 (two months ago) Permalink

At least this person is trying to describe what the music sounds like!!

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:31 (two months ago) Permalink

sounds, looks, AND smells

Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:31 (two months ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkDLsq9lzsk

getting hints of oak, barnyard and overzealous press release

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:38 (two months ago) Permalink

"the lambent bass discharged sleek tunnels of fatty overdrive - and it was everything!"

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 12 October 2017 21:44 (two months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

"Deconstructed" is such a giveaway new media word that means "a lot of content about a thing that says absolutely nothing new or interesting"

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 30 October 2017 13:40 (one month ago) Permalink

new derrida description

we could poll decoded vs. deconstructed (in worst music writing)

niels, Monday, 30 October 2017 13:44 (one month ago) Permalink

ts: "deconstructed" (food) vs. "deconstructed" (literature)

what if a much of a which of a wind (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 1 November 2017 02:25 (one month ago) Permalink

Still thinking about that NYT Mag piece. I got breakfast at the diner this morning and they played Eurhythmics, Lady Gaga, Heart, Rihanna, Ace of Base, Kim Wide and Katy Perry.

Of course I sat shivering and confused, these songs hitting me like Esperanto.

Finally a song with a man's voice came on. I stood on the table, kicked all the food off and screamed all the words like a normal person

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 14:50 (one month ago) Permalink

anecdotal experience truther up in here

President Keyes, Wednesday, 8 November 2017 14:56 (one month ago) Permalink

Have a hoagie: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 8 November 2017 14:57 (one month ago) Permalink

there are no commercial stations in the entire country that would play that many female-led songs in a row

dyl, Wednesday, 8 November 2017 23:48 (one month ago) Permalink

I think it was 106.7 Lite FM, but keep trying!

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 9 November 2017 00:16 (one month ago) Permalink

There was two songs from men in there too iirc

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 9 November 2017 00:17 (one month ago) Permalink

Both of which I saluted like a flag

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 9 November 2017 00:17 (one month ago) Permalink

Of course bodega hoagie radio is just Mentors, Meatmen, XXXManik and the Eminem songs about killing his ex-wife

"the fgti incident?" (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 9 November 2017 00:19 (one month ago) Permalink

Looking like a lab experiment for Eurocentric beauty, toting a bank account full of platinum records and a panoply of celebrity friends, if Swift couldn’t seem to find love, and she wrote about this problem often, rooting for Taylor Swift the Cultural Question to find happiness was a bit like rooting for the house in blackjack.

Frozen CD, Sunday, 12 November 2017 15:57 (one month ago) Permalink

"And how many celebrity friends would you like from your account today Ms Swift"

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Monday, 13 November 2017 02:25 (one month ago) Permalink

"Taylor Swift the Cultural Question" clap clap clap.. "Taylor Swift the Cultural Question" clap clap clap..

Mark G, Monday, 13 November 2017 15:06 (one month ago) Permalink

idk I like that sentence

Simon H., Monday, 13 November 2017 15:17 (one month ago) Permalink

yeah it's a bit overstuffed but I prefer that to bland

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Monday, 13 November 2017 15:51 (one month ago) Permalink

Bloody Nora, the radio guy just mentioned Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale 'Der er forskel' to express the difference in quality between these two teams. This isn't supposed to be educational ffs

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:18 (one month ago) Permalink

sry rong thraed

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:19 (one month ago) Permalink

bump

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 22:54 (one month ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.