OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (8703 of them)

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (eleven years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (eleven years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (eleven years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (eleven years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (eleven years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (eleven years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (eleven years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (eleven years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (eleven years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (eleven years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (eleven years ago) Permalink

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

-- lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://downloadsimpsons.com/files/malibu_stacy.jpg

"Thinking too much gives you wrinkles"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:31 (eleven years ago) Permalink

haaaaaa

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

come on everyone, geir gives himself away in the final parentheses.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:34 (eleven years ago) Permalink

ha. not sure i care as such! a while back i had a job gathering information on universities, i found it kind of funny that you can go anywhere in the country and every student newspapers seems to be written by the same person. it sort of interests me to know who, if anyone, they are imitating. if my current job was more interesting this issue would, i think, seem rather less pressing.

xp

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:35 (eleven years ago) Permalink

i love the line about nirvana: nirvana's main block to future gold albums was kurt cobain's inability to accept the "popular culture lifestyle he was made to live", nothing about JUNKIE SUICIDE.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:37 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:39 (eleven years ago) Permalink

keep in mind this kid was like 8 when Kurdt committed suicide and has probably been bombarded by Nirvana mythologies since he started showing an interest in altrock

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:40 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Heh, this is a great idea. Yeah gotta say though, opinion pieces like this are ten a penny in this strange little further education world

DJ Mencap, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:41 (eleven years ago) Permalink

there is thou a difference between "analyse and discuss" and "attack and dismiss"

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Maybe in the real world, but on ILM?

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I'm still not sure when Cobain was adopted as an indie icon, tbh. When I was a teen, Melody Maker was still all "lol miserable junkie loved by them Kerrang oafs" about him.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:44 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I disagree that student writing is exempt from criticism. One's worldview may not be fully formed by the age of 20, but a journalistic voice should be.

Plus, this is just too awful to leave it alone. A phrase like "There has been a movement against corporate music, labels and magazines, which is thankfully disappearing, probably ever since Bob Dylan's move from acoustic to electric" is a jaw-dropper in any context.

Erroneous Botch, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:46 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

This, totally; what kind of culture are we propagating where these attitudes develop? Why does this guy think this? He's in a band, he's at university, he'd self-identify as 'loving music', he obviously has journalistic ambitions at the same time, and he writes this? Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:46 (eleven years ago) Permalink

young aspiring music journalists should go to ILM training camp

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:48 (eleven years ago) Permalink

more liek:

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B0001Y9YAW.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:52 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

most of them are, most of them always have, some of them get better as they, you know, grow up - i'm not denying that it's awful writing but i guess the question for me is, do you not feel your life ebbing away from you with every second you spend contemplating this rote and in no way unusual piece of student hackery? do you have this much spare time?? at this point i'mma take my own advice and exit thread stage left.

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:53 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Our dominant myths about Art are still Romantic ones: the Artwork is a self-sufficient object, expressing universal truths and the personality of the artist, and has to be grounded in sincere, authentic feelings. Those ideas are still so fundamental (amongst people who think about aesthetics) that most critics have to unlearn them or react against them before they can think about other ways of apprehending music/literature/TV comedy. This isn't exactly a mystery, it's been going on for 200 years.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:54 (eleven years ago) Permalink

(b/c you know, if dude ever actually finds this thread, he's just gonna go HURRAH 100-POST THREAD TALKING ABOUT MEEEEE, I HAVE SUCCEEDED)

(ok that's it)

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:54 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Oh man I remember that Edith Frost review, extremely shitty.

JoeStork, Saturday, 18 August 2018 20:15 (two months ago) Permalink

The story goes that Coltrane was using LSD after 1965. If so, then the overreach and incoherence of his final music, and his mingling with admiring but inferior talents like Alice Coltrane, the Yoko Ono of jazz, suggest that Coltrane might be the sixties’ first and foremost acid casualty, flailing out rather than flaming out, the peak of his late style already behind him.

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 17:40 (one month ago) Permalink

Coltrane’s late style began on the legendary Davis album Kind of Blue (1959), and jazz began to die there too.

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 17:40 (one month ago) Permalink

lol the yoko ono of jazz, great job

tylerw, Tuesday, 28 August 2018 17:46 (one month ago) Permalink

holy god

stan in the place where you work (morrisp), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 17:50 (one month ago) Permalink

I find the Yoko Ono of Jazz to be a kind of compelling and entertaining idea, but probably not for the reasons that writer intended

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 28 August 2018 18:02 (one month ago) Permalink

innovative, collaborative, deeply spiritual, great discography, underrated and unjustly maligned thx to misogyny = yup checks all those boxes

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 28 August 2018 18:04 (one month ago) Permalink

haha yeah. amazing that we're celebrating 50 years of yoko as a shitty sexist punchline this year! she must be doing something right.

tylerw, Tuesday, 28 August 2018 18:14 (one month ago) Permalink

https://www.xlr8r.com/reviews/review-houghton-festival-2018

do you think they regret any of the sets they missed?

boxedjoy, Tuesday, 28 August 2018 20:38 (one month ago) Permalink

That Yoko / Alice thing made the rounds on twitter, and while I get that it's tone deaf, I don't have a problem with it necessarily for two reasons: 1. like Οὖτις says above, it's actually a flattering and apt comparison in spite of itself, and 2. while it may be a bullshit and wrong opinion, people are allowed to have those

Paul Ponzi, Tuesday, 28 August 2018 22:05 (one month ago) Permalink

You do have a problem with, you think it's wrong and bullshit.

Scottish Country Twerking (Tom D.), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 22:10 (one month ago) Permalink

omg

The next morning, rumours abounded that Jane Fitz had played a mind-bending techno set at Houghton’s secret stage deep into the small hours; while access last year required a train journey, this year it was reachable by a short walk back through the campsite. Options inside the arena were so good that I never felt the need to work out the hidden spot’s exact location, but Fitz’ performance generated some envy-inducing hype

she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 22:17 (one month ago) Permalink

2. while it may be a bullshit and wrong opinion, people are allowed to have those

― Paul Ponzi, Tuesday, August 28, 2018 3:05 PM (forty-six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

referring you back to the thread title

princess of hell (BradNelson), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 22:52 (one month ago) Permalink

Who is the Yoko ono of acid house?

Or of crunk?

Runcibly spooning (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 23:33 (one month ago) Permalink

That article is chock full of shitty jazz opinions besides the Alice stuff!

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 00:51 (one month ago) Permalink

There are some aspects of it I agree with. If I had to pick just one John Coltrane album to listen to for the rest of my life, it would be Crescent, not A Love Supreme and certainly not Ascension or anything after. I also think Hank Mobley doesn't get nearly enough critical love, and was glad to see his name pop up.

grawlix (unperson), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 01:33 (one month ago) Permalink

one month passes...

John Coltrane really does bring out the worst in people (music writers):

Coltrane enters with a vortex of obsessively involuted streaks of chordal fragments that yield to furious, sound-shredded shrieks and bellows that suggest the will to break through the stuff of harmonic investigation to sheer expressive sound, the swinging patterns of pounding rhythm to shifting biocentric undulations.

From:
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/richard-brody/sun-ship-the-complete-session-john-coltranes-musical-documentary

dinnerboat, Monday, 22 October 2018 21:03 (two hours ago) Permalink

mmm I love a good medium rare streak, the chordal the better!

You like queer? I like queer. Still like queer. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 22 October 2018 21:06 (two hours ago) Permalink

I was on board until 'biocentric'.

pomenitul, Monday, 22 October 2018 21:09 (two hours ago) Permalink

yeah i stayed on a surprising long time, then - wipeout

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 22 October 2018 21:10 (two hours ago) Permalink

Should have left it at "the stuff of harmonic investigation," which sounds like a Leonard Cohen line.

dinnerboat, Monday, 22 October 2018 21:11 (two hours ago) Permalink

I wavered at 'pounding' but 'biocentric' did me in.

pomenitul, Monday, 22 October 2018 21:16 (two hours ago) Permalink

I was going to say it's like someone tried to write a review using only Robert Pollard song titles.

Evan, Monday, 22 October 2018 21:17 (two hours ago) Permalink

go the full lovecraft dude: biofugal undulations

mark s, Monday, 22 October 2018 21:27 (two hours ago) Permalink

lmao brody!!!!

princess of hell (BradNelson), Monday, 22 October 2018 21:30 (two hours ago) Permalink

stick to film crit i guess?

princess of hell (BradNelson), Monday, 22 October 2018 21:31 (two hours ago) Permalink

not that i necessarily want him to do that either

princess of hell (BradNelson), Monday, 22 October 2018 21:31 (two hours ago) Permalink

a vortex of obsessively hideous streaks of cosmic fragments that yield to furious, squamous shrieks and bellows that suggest the will to break through the stuff of unspeakable investigation to sheer blasphemous sound, the accursed patterns of nameless rhythm to shifting biofugal undulations

(he used primordial in another sentence, to qualify new orleans lol, dude it was like 100 years ago not 500 thousand)

mark s, Monday, 22 October 2018 21:36 (two hours ago) Permalink

(actually fungoid is better than squamous)

mark s, Monday, 22 October 2018 21:38 (two hours ago) Permalink

You guys are made of tougher stuff than I am... I bailed at involuted

jazz is tough to write about, what with no lyrics to analyse. But it sure does inspire a lot of writers to try to do 'word jazz'.

enochroot, Monday, 22 October 2018 23:05 (forty-four minutes ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.