OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

Matt DC, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:39 (eleven years ago) Permalink

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:40 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:41 (eleven years ago) Permalink

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

sanskrit, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:54 (eleven years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:59 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:03 (eleven years ago) Permalink

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

m coleman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:04 (eleven years ago) Permalink

that really is quite incredible.

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:07 (eleven years ago) Permalink

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:08 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:10 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:11 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (eleven years ago) Permalink

BOO HTML

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:14 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:15 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:16 (eleven years ago) Permalink

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

jed_, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:17 (eleven years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:19 (eleven years ago) Permalink

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

NickB, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:21 (eleven years ago) Permalink

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

blueski, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:24 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

StanM, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:26 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:27 (eleven years ago) Permalink

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:28 (eleven years ago) Permalink

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (eleven years ago) Permalink

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

-- lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:29 (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

http://downloadsimpsons.com/files/malibu_stacy.jpg

"Thinking too much gives you wrinkles"

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:31 (eleven years ago) Permalink

haaaaaa

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:33 (eleven years ago) Permalink

come on everyone, geir gives himself away in the final parentheses.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:34 (eleven years ago) Permalink

ha. not sure i care as such! a while back i had a job gathering information on universities, i found it kind of funny that you can go anywhere in the country and every student newspapers seems to be written by the same person. it sort of interests me to know who, if anyone, they are imitating. if my current job was more interesting this issue would, i think, seem rather less pressing.

xp

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:35 (eleven years ago) Permalink

i love the line about nirvana: nirvana's main block to future gold albums was kurt cobain's inability to accept the "popular culture lifestyle he was made to live", nothing about JUNKIE SUICIDE.

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:37 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:39 (eleven years ago) Permalink

keep in mind this kid was like 8 when Kurdt committed suicide and has probably been bombarded by Nirvana mythologies since he started showing an interest in altrock

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:40 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Heh, this is a great idea. Yeah gotta say though, opinion pieces like this are ten a penny in this strange little further education world

DJ Mencap, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:41 (eleven years ago) Permalink

there is thou a difference between "analyse and discuss" and "attack and dismiss"

acrobat, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:42 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Maybe in the real world, but on ILM?

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:43 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I'm still not sure when Cobain was adopted as an indie icon, tbh. When I was a teen, Melody Maker was still all "lol miserable junkie loved by them Kerrang oafs" about him.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:44 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I disagree that student writing is exempt from criticism. One's worldview may not be fully formed by the age of 20, but a journalistic voice should be.

Plus, this is just too awful to leave it alone. A phrase like "There has been a movement against corporate music, labels and magazines, which is thankfully disappearing, probably ever since Bob Dylan's move from acoustic to electric" is a jaw-dropper in any context.

Erroneous Botch, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:46 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I think it's a lot more interesting to analyse and discuss the views of someone like Jonny Garrett than it is, I dunno, Petridish or Reynolds or Chuck Eddy or whoever. ILX falls into a trap of ivory towering itself, qf whoever it was on the purchase of music thread who was all "two and a half CDs a year? Everyone I know buys much more than that!". We gotta embrace the layman here guys.

This, totally; what kind of culture are we propagating where these attitudes develop? Why does this guy think this? He's in a band, he's at university, he'd self-identify as 'loving music', he obviously has journalistic ambitions at the same time, and he writes this? Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

Scik Mouthy, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:46 (eleven years ago) Permalink

young aspiring music journalists should go to ILM training camp

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:48 (eleven years ago) Permalink

more liek:

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B0001Y9YAW.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Frogman Henry, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:52 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Yes, he's young, but not all young people are writing stuff like this, are they?

most of them are, most of them always have, some of them get better as they, you know, grow up - i'm not denying that it's awful writing but i guess the question for me is, do you not feel your life ebbing away from you with every second you spend contemplating this rote and in no way unusual piece of student hackery? do you have this much spare time?? at this point i'mma take my own advice and exit thread stage left.

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:53 (eleven years ago) Permalink

Our dominant myths about Art are still Romantic ones: the Artwork is a self-sufficient object, expressing universal truths and the personality of the artist, and has to be grounded in sincere, authentic feelings. Those ideas are still so fundamental (amongst people who think about aesthetics) that most critics have to unlearn them or react against them before they can think about other ways of apprehending music/literature/TV comedy. This isn't exactly a mystery, it's been going on for 200 years.

Noodle Vague, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:54 (eleven years ago) Permalink

(b/c you know, if dude ever actually finds this thread, he's just gonna go HURRAH 100-POST THREAD TALKING ABOUT MEEEEE, I HAVE SUCCEEDED)

(ok that's it)

lex pretend, Monday, 18 June 2007 13:54 (eleven years ago) Permalink

I imagine Brian Bee Cum is about to have a slaughter in his menchies

like æ duce says, smell my anvil vapre (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:20 (three months ago) Permalink

High and low culture? Who is right when you recall Bob Dylan’s Nobel Prize for Literature last year, which caused a stooshie. “Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed,” may have acutely summed up man’s sexual imaginations but doesn’t quite compare with Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath.

This is something of a self-own, considering that lyric could literally be a line of Steinbeck dialogue...

absorbed carol channing's powers & psyche (morrisp), Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:10 (three months ago) Permalink

I'd ask if anyone had any bets on how many previous music Pulitzer winners Beacom has listened to but you can't really bet on a certainty.

No purposes. Sounds. (Sund4r), Thursday, 19 April 2018 18:04 (three months ago) Permalink

https://www.savingcountrymusic.com/album-review-jason-aldeans-rearview-town/

should be easy to see why this review is both poorly written and reprehensible (i don't buy his excuses in the comments.)

omar little, Friday, 20 April 2018 18:55 (three months ago) Permalink

this dude

lowercase (eric), Friday, 20 April 2018 18:58 (three months ago) Permalink

including in some songs these strange feminine (or synthesized) sighs and calls like something you would hear in the soundtrack of a 90’s-era war strategy RPG or 1st-person shooter game

what, like warcraft? is jason aldean going zug-zug

aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Friday, 20 April 2018 19:02 (three months ago) Permalink

the zerg queen doing background vocals

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 19:15 (three months ago) Permalink

best phrase...

Among other fair criticisms...

...in which he critiques his own critique, and judges it to be a good, fair critique.

fact checking cuz, Friday, 20 April 2018 19:26 (three months ago) Permalink

new jason aldean single right here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwWh1xy6gvU

aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Friday, 20 April 2018 19:27 (three months ago) Permalink

There are a lot of provocative statements in here:
http://www.vulture.com/2018/05/rock-and-roll-hall-of-fame-artists-ranked-from-best-to-worst.html

aphoristical, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 22:31 (two months ago) Permalink

lots of discussion about that on the Pitchfork thread but it belongs here in the HOF

omar little, Wednesday, 2 May 2018 22:33 (two months ago) Permalink

ctrl f trump

lowercase (eric), Wednesday, 2 May 2018 22:39 (two months ago) Permalink

she really tried it

https://uproxx.com/music/taylor-swift-reputation-tour-legacy/amp/

maura, Wednesday, 9 May 2018 21:49 (two months ago) Permalink

Taylor Swift is my culture. Surely, I already knew that to some degree, but I never realized it more than when Reputation dropped late last fall. Unexpectedly in Norway that weekend, I was covering a small European music festival — or, I was supposed to be covering it. Friday morning, attendees kept attempting to communicate with me while I sat ensconced in puffy, pink Beats headphones I couldn’t bring myself to remove, wrapped up in the world of Reptuation.


wow

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 9 May 2018 22:16 (two months ago) Permalink

"Waaahhh! I wrote a piece of sponsored content disguised as a personal essay and people called me an asshole for it - I'm just like Taylor Swift!"

grawlix (unperson), Wednesday, 9 May 2018 23:47 (two months ago) Permalink

That piece is better if you approach it as a satire of Taylor Swift's writing. i.e., making huge melodramatic emotional narratives out of small personal events that no one else should really give a shit about.

triggercut, Thursday, 10 May 2018 01:33 (two months ago) Permalink

i feel like writing about "small personal events that no one else should really give a shit about" describes a lot of good songwriting, but i'm not sure what that even means really so

lowercase (eric), Thursday, 10 May 2018 01:51 (two months ago) Permalink

@triggercut the author is not that self aware, trust

maura, Thursday, 10 May 2018 02:37 (two months ago) Permalink

eric: cf. Annie Dillard: "Write not about what you love most, but about what you alone love at all."

moresoupial (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 10 May 2018 13:44 (two months ago) Permalink

in fact just keep a private journal because nobody else is going to seek out your opinions on the new tram cops record

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 10 May 2018 14:23 (two months ago) Permalink

otm

but i guess they have to submit some type of work to get paid

F# A# (∞), Thursday, 10 May 2018 17:15 (two months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

what's so bad about that?

alpine static, Thursday, 31 May 2018 04:05 (one month ago) Permalink

"My favorite way to listen to music is out in the world — walking to the grocery store or uphill to class, one earbud in and the other free to hear birds calling and insects buzzing."

Frozen CD, Sunday, 3 June 2018 17:27 (one month ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

Ooph

triggercut, Tuesday, 26 June 2018 22:17 (three weeks ago) Permalink

woof

we æt so many shimripl (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 27 June 2018 22:54 (three weeks ago) Permalink

idgi

(V) (°,,,,°) (V) (Austin), Wednesday, 27 June 2018 22:58 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I would say "Noisey should stick to covering Genre X or Genre Y," but literally 99% of what they publish is hot, wet garbage.

grawlix (unperson), Thursday, 28 June 2018 00:00 (three weeks ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/shawn-mendes-headlines-rolling-stone-relaunch-event-presented-by-youtube-music-699343/

yes i know it's a press release but.

the lede...

On July 26th, Rolling Stone will host 500 music industry insiders, influencers and a select group of fans at a raw industrial space in Brooklyn.

...would actually work pretty well as a mad lib.

fact checking cuz, Wednesday, 18 July 2018 16:59 (three days ago) Permalink


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