no boys allowed in the room!!!!

yeah i know you're totally right. and it annoys me even more that i'm bothered by the lack of closure.

she was so much fun to hang out with, despite her nasty side, and i figured there was a good chance she'd grown out of it.

i identify really strongly with this feeling, but it has historically kept me in friendships i really should have ended. and there are always other fun people to hang out with, who aren't soulcrushingly nasty. i think.

I tend to really be bothered by lack of closure issues too, and I like the idea of reframing.

i stole it from crazy people who act like the drama they made up is reality. why can't i do that with anti-drama, or whatever?

I have a lot of female friends, but it's amazing because no one's catty, everyone is smart and interesting and funny, and we don't spend the whole time talking about boys - which is something I've noticed about other women when I hang out with them. I mean all they do is talk about their boyfriends or husbands or their kids or home remodels. So I guess I got lucky.

that has by and large been my experience with female friends, too, fwiw

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/babes.jpg

there are a lot of boring people out there, but i try not to be friends with them
regardless of gender

i have one female friend from high school who is kind of lol men/"i hate her she's so skinny" but i have long-term loyalty toward her because we've been friends for so long and don't really talk that much. i do not tell her private things anymore. maybe one a year, just so she feels in the loop. she doesn't tell me much either. i guess we mostly pretend to be friends, but i really do enjoy her company that once or twice a year when we get to reminiscing.

nice friends, mandee

We've been friends since highschool, even.

Ha, wow. Bad 1999 style comin' atcha here.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/onebigcouple.jpg

aw!

i stole it from crazy people who act like the drama they made up is reality. why can't i do that with anti-drama, or whatever?

― horseshoe, Friday, October 1, 2010 5:17 PM (Yesterday)

THIS THIS THIS

i have known a lot of people who can really convince themselves that they are justified in doing a completely unjustifiable and crazy things. i guess it's all part of being crazy.

also mandee i am jealous of your longterm girl friend group there

I um, have decided that I need new bras (I only have 2 that I wear right now). I've also realized I need wear a smaller cup size than what I previously believed and what "they" have been telling me. I think I'm actually a AA. I looked around target and there weren't any. Am I going to have to order all my bras online now? I really want to be comfortable and for my boobs to not swim around in my bra, and I don't want dudes to be disappointed when they see one thing with my shirt on and another thing with my shirt off. I don't really wear bras very much, just at work and with certain shirts at certain times. I don't really think the types of dudes I would take my shirt off for would care or even notice but what do I know.

Oh, the reason I'm posting that is because I wanted to know if any a ya'll have uncommon boob sizes and what you do about it?

i'm pretty average (38c), but one of my best friends is about your size, and she found somewhere to get them that size, i could ask her if you want.

That'd be nice. The two bras I wear are from victoria's secret. They are really comfy but they are more like caves than support systems. I went to JC penny a while back and the lady there pointed me to these teen training bra things which just... they were weird. The padding moved around a lot so if I wasn't careful it could look like one of my boobs was underneath my arm pit.

I love Bare Necessities online. They have a really good return policy, and I take advantage of that a lot. If you got on their e-mail list, sometimes there are sales and special discounts.

People swear by Nordstrom as well for a wider range of sizes.

Here's a recent article from the New York Times about smaller bras: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/02/fashion/02Small.html?src=me&ref=general

Most of the training bras I've seen are in the AAAA-AAA range, but I've seen some that are AA. Maybe the girl's clothing section would have have what you're looking for?

i wear a 38F and its impossible to find bras ever, so i wear ones that dont fit until i come into tons of cash (about 3 times in my life) and order a fancy one

Thanks juliA! That article explained a lot about how I feel about my boob sitch. I really don't want to wear little girl "training" bras. I never got what we were training for anyway.

Peacocks, I thought of that article as soon as I saw your post. Seems like it would be such a pain to only find training bra kind of things.

Roxy, have you ever tried eBay? I figured out a few brands/styles that fit me, and on eBay new bras are typically about half the price of retail. (That's still expensive, of course, for full busted bras. But that's a given.) Some sellers have a seven day warranty as well–I look for this, just in case the bra doesn't fit. Though I figure I could always just sell it on eBay if it doesn't work and there isn't a warranty.

i have never tried ebay, but i should check it out tbh

for big bras and clothes made for busty ladies (like button down shirts that fit your front but arent huge in the arms etc), bravissimo.com is good

I bought a couple of strappy tops from bravissimo back when I was certain that I was a 34D, and never got around to returning them. I keep meaning to sell them on eBay, but haven't gotten around to that. I like the idea of bravissimo, but I'm intimidated by the prices, and by ordering from England.

carissarose.com seems like it has some well-made dressy basics that could be promising, but the prices are intimidating. I'm used to buying only on sale.

I like herroom.com for the extensive reviews and the fitting tips, which are pretty OTM in my experience.

her room has great selection and good fitting tips, but the fit calculator tells me I'm a 36A ( I finally figured out that I'm a 36DD/E or 34F). none of the major sites had an accurate guide to measuring yourself. Seems that many bra sites use the outdated fitting instructions that involve adding numbers to your under bust measurement.

This site has a fit guide with good sizing instructions as well as fit tips. It is oriented to people with larger cup sizes generally:

http://breakoutbras.stores.yahoo.net/noname1.html

Thanks juliA! That article explained a lot about how I feel about my boob sitch. I really don't want to wear little girl "training" bras. I never got what we were training for anyway.

Beginner corsets for little girls were known as training corsets. This may be where the name came from.

For a long time, it was really, really hard to find DD bras in sizes smaller than 40. (I guess manufacturers thought that everyone DD or larger weighed 250+ pounds.) I'm glad that has changed. I'm 38DD, BTW.

xp - i'd guess that there were some girls that really looked forward to wearing bras and "becoming a woman" - i was not one of these, but i'm pretty sure we had that discussion way upthread.

http://cache.jezebel.com/assets/resources/2008/02/areyoutheregoditsmedodai020.jpg

And in other news, my head is rinsed from writing 2000 words about a sexist D4v1d B4il3y photoshoot in 12 hours, without directly accusing DB of sexism.

(like button down shirts that fit your front but arent huge in the arms etc)

^^^^This is my number 1 pet peeve

i've got a largish front and big shoulders and arms, so i only have the problem of shirts being too tight and puckery all over or having sleeves so long i feel like i'm playing dress-up.

i don't have a bust problem but i do not like the drapey, sloppy fit of clothes in stores at this time, nor do i like the fact that no clothing manufacturer seems to know where my waist is. (hint: it is not in the middle of my ribs)

hahaa
tho tbh i am high-waisted so my waist almost is (but isn't)

i hate bras with padding, even tho i own a few, but their padding is thin and doesn't really deserve the name. i call them my winter bras.

yeah, i'm high waisted too, but i'll tell you what -- i've bought dresses with belts that, apparently, are supposed to ignore my actual waist and accentuate my mid-rib region. lazy design!

I wear button down shirts a lot (every day at work, for a start, and the nicer ones in the evening too) and it's really hard to even find any in high street clothes shops lately.

My #1 peeve is that I am pretty fattey and once you move up the sizings trousers seem to billow out in the lower back to a ridiculous extent while not being particularly roomy at the front or round the top of the thighs. Am I a weird shape or is this a thing for other people?

I definitely suffer fro the "if it fits in the butt, it's too big in the waist" problem, leading to the low back gap. Is that what you mean? I sew darts into the waist of pretty much everything.

are you referring to the above-the-butt pucker?

xp - yeah, jenny & i appear to have the same issue

whenever i see a woman with my same waist/ass proportions walking down the street wearing jeans that are flattering, i want to stop her and ask, "where did you get those jeans?"

you should do that!

Pretty much, yeah, but sometimes it can even be too tight in the front of the waist while providing enough "butt pucker" in the back waist to, you know, carry my shopping home in, etc

maybe that's what it's there for

i should, but i often feel self-conscious being a white chick and the women in question being African-American

do any of you know of any groups in your area or elsewhere that were specifically created to combat sexist police behavior?

most of the ones in my area are either focused on racism and queer issues

in the past couple of days it seems tons of bad things have happened to people i know that are totally inappropriate

for example, being pulled over because you vaguely resemble a local prostitute

i mean !!!

^this actually happened to a girl i know, and they actually said "vaguely"

i actually had a positive cop interaction last week, after this lying douchebag asshole attempted to cut me off from backing into a parking space across the street from the club where my friends' bands were playing, then accused me of damaging his SIXTEEN THOUSAND DOLLAR BMW WITH MY PIECE OF SHIT TOYOTA. There was no damage. I tried to be civil with the guy, but once he trotted out the word "bitch" - i gave up and walked away.